With a range of next-level toys, lacy lingerie pieces, and even an adult advent calendar, Lovehoney is here to help you prioritize your pleasure and sexual happiness. Plus, all of its expert-approved offerings are wrapped in discreet packaging, so the fun stays between you and your partner. Keep scrolling to shop our curation of toys, lingerie, and accessories to reignite your sex life this holiday season.
P.S. They also make for the perfect cheeky gift. Order before 3 p.m. ET on December 23, and you'll receive it the next day, just in time for Christmas.
]]>We asked 11 real women for their favorite sex moves, then consulted sex experts for their tips on how to upgrade your own go-to moves so they feel new and exciting. In short, it doesn't take a Kama Sutra master to have better sex—it's really about breaking from habit, exploring the unknown, and enhancing what already works.
Favorite Position: Scissoring with either him on top or me. When I’m on top, I love to push myself down as far as I can and grind on top of him. When he’s on top, I love to grab his arms.
What makes it hot: When I’m on top, I love how he grabs my thighs and when he’s on top, I love when he kisses my feet and I can grab his arms and suck his fingers. Sitting on top of him in a chair is also a very hot bonus!
Fun Props: I’ve actually never used props—besides a shower. I also love when I use my vibrator on myself. I can do it multiple times a day!
Favorite position: I lie on my stomach with my legs slightly spread and he enters me from behind. While thrusting, he grabs my shoulders to go deeper inside, runs his hands down my back, and I brace myself for the ultimate ass grab.
What makes it so hot: I love the feeling of a masculine touch coupled with the jiggling sensation my butt makes. I think it excites my partner that much more when I turn around to look back and show him how much I’m digging what he’s putting down.
Fun prop: Coconut oil—it’s nature’s lubricant. Slip and slide anyone?
Favorite position: Me on top but bent forward—kind of a combination of missionary and cowgirl.
What makes it so hot: The best part about cowgirl is the stimulation, but it also feels very performative to me sometimes. Leaning forward brings back the intimacy of missionary while still giving me control. It’s also one of the very few ways I’m able to orgasm from sex, so that’s a huge plus.
Fun prop: I’m a big fan of lingerie in general but I’ve been very into the concept of a stretchy lace bodysuit with sleeves. It gives your partner a lot to grab on to, it’s easy to navigate around without taking it off, and the slightly unexpected extra coverage from the sleeves is very sexy.
Favorite position: My favorite is upright, from behind—think steamy shower, bent over one leg up on the edge of the tub.
What makes it so hot: The running water and upright position make it feel urgent (in a good way), the angle is just right for me, and it's perfect for spontaneous, quick and dirty sex or taking your time (falling into bed for round two afterwards all clean and warm feels great). Also, this position always pulled double-duty for me and my boyfriend when we were long distance. I have many sexy memories of seeing him again after a long separation and immediately hopping in the shower together to wash off the airplane grime and enjoy a sweet reunion.
Fun prop: I love a good unisex shower gel, like Neutrogena Rainbath. It's perfectly musky and great for lathering each other up.
Favorite position: We're in a spooning position, and he moves onto his knees behind me and continues thrusting from there.
What makes it so hot: Other than it making me come almost instantly, it's always a surprising move that helps us branch out from missionary. We often transition to doggy style or cowgirl after that.
Fun prop: A little vibrator like the Dame Fin, otherwise it's hard to reach my clit in this spot (it's usually not needed though).
Favorite position: I'm straddling him, reverse-cowgirl style, while he's propped up on his back in the bathtub and I'm bracing myself against the sides or the wall.
What makes it so hot: I love it because I get to take charge and control the angle, and the warm water helps us relax. It's also a nice change of pace from the routine, so usually we'll try it when we're on vacation (since no one actually wants to clean their bathtub at home). The ambience is really sexy since everything's candlelit and the water and soap naturally get everything going down there.
Fun prop: Candles, bubbles, and bath oil. Just make sure you don't slip around too much when you're moving around (and prepare to get your knees a little bruised if you're trying it in a smaller space)!
Favorite position: We're standing. I face my boyfriend and wrap my legs around his torso. He puts his hands beneath my butt and lifts me up and down while thrusting into me. I call it "The Claw."
What makes it so hot: I'm a very independent woman, but I occasionally love being dominated. My partner is in total control here—I don't have to do a thing! It may be a physically demanding position for him, but it makes me feel virtually weightless—and totally orgasmic.
Fun prop: The Claw is even more fun when you're greased up, so slick yourselves down with Johnson's Baby Oil Gel beforehand. But practice it dry a few times first so you don't get hurt!
Favorite position I'm flat on my back. He slides on top of me and—OK, I admit it! The position that always does it for me is missionary!
What makes it so hot: It may seem like a tame choice for a sex columnist, but I just love looking into a guy's eyes while we're having sex. And it's not like I just lie there—I love to grab his butt and draw him as deeply as I can inside of me so that I can feel every inch of him. I never get bored of climaxing like this. But men, be warned: If your mouth isn't all over my lips and neck, you're wasting my time!
Fun prop: Try a little fresh air! When I was a teenager, I got it on with a guy on a rooftop in our neighborhood. I was so naïve—I didn't think anyone would see us up there. But the news got back to my mother, and all hell broke loose. Still, it's a sexy thing to think back on...and I still love doing it outside.
Favorite position: I lie on my back with my legs over my boyfriend's shoulders. He leans forward with his chest resting on the backs of my thighs and plunges in and out of me. I tend to make a lot of noise, so we refer to it as "The Scream Machine."
What makes it so hot: It allows for deeper penetration than almost any other position—and definitely leads to the most intense orgasms.
Fun props: Strawberries, whipped cream, and champagne make for unbelievable foreplay. I suggest a hands-off policy while we eat, which my guy usually agrees to at first. But as he watches me sip champagne and pop cream-covered strawberries into my mouth, he goes crazy. By the time the last strawberry is gone, so are our clothes!
Favorite position: My fiancé, Allen, and I kneel on the floor with a couch or bed in front of us to brace ourselves. He's behind me, and I spread my legs a little wider than his for balance. He penetrates me from behind. I nicknamed this "The Reverse Allen," because it's a variation on another amazing position he came up with. He's very creative!
What makes it so hot: It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth, because it pushes my chest out and pulls my stomach in so my body looks fantastic. And there are endless variations. During one recent quickie, I led Allen's hand to my hair so he could tug on it. It was such a huge turn-on that I climaxed within seconds.
Fun props: I love sliding on stockings and sky-high heels before sex. Nothing looks hotter than when I'm wearing only these.
Favorite position: I'm riding him while his legs are draped over the side of the bed and I'm leaning back slightly and arching my back.
What makes it so hot: I feel like a rockstar because my entire body's on display and I'll admit that it's always more engaging for me when I'm making eye contact with my boyfriend. He likes to brace himself against my shoulder or grab my chest when we're in the thick of it.
Fun props: It's pretty simple, but I always go for a really lacy or sheer lingerie set, especially when we start out in this position. He either can't wait to get me out of them or I'll leave the top half rolled down around my waist for some peek-a-boo action.
The Kama Sutra contains a nearly exhaustive (literally) selection of positions to choose from, but most of us stick to a few tried-and-true basics, says Tracey Cox, author of The Hot Sex Handbook. Below, she and Shindy Chen, author of erotica novel The First Time, recommend several sex tips for making the same-old routine feel anything but ordinary—especially if you happen to be more of a creature of habit than a sexual adventurer:
Cox: Place a pillow underneath your butt. Instead of simply lying back as he thrusts in and out of you, sit up halfway, lift your butt, and then slowly lean backward. Repeat until one of you climaxes.
Chen: For women who find it difficult to reach orgasm in the missionary position, I recommend helping yourself along. Just the visual alone of you touching yourself will be a feast for his eyes. During missionary your partner can leave just enough space in between your bodies so that you can slip your hand in between, reach down, and slowly stroke your own clitoral area (or C-spot) to the rhythm of his strokes, building yourself up to orgasm; with a little bit of practice it's a great way to time reaching your orgasms together.
Cox: Move your body in small circles as you lift and lower your pelvis. Have him sit up, with his legs straight out in front of him. Lower yourself onto his penis and sit with your knees bent, facing him, with your feet flat on the floor.
Cox: Rather than kneel, lie facedown on the bed, with your legs spread. He lies on your back and penetrates you from behind. Try having him stand behind you while you gradually—and carefully!—lean forward until your hands touch the floor.
Chen: While on all fours, with your partner behind you, either instruct your partner to reach around, or guide your partner's hand around your hips. With a finger or two begin gently stroking your C-spot while you're being penetrated from behind. Done properly, slowly, and gently, you can build up to an explosive orgasm.
Cox: Grind your body against his penis, bending from the waist and moving your upper torso downward. Reach around to fondle him while he's moving in and out of you.
Chen: If you find yourself on top or on bottom and you've got a free hand, slowly and softly grab and rub his balls while you're riding him. Or, if you're on bottom, reach for his balls as he's penetrating you during deeper strokes. Give them a gentle tug and notice his immediate pleasure receptors.
Put two-three pillows under your stomach and hips so you're elevated. Instead of putting your legs on either side of your partner, snake them between theirs so that they can enter you with your legs closed. Penetration is super deep, without being uncomfortable. This position keeps you and your partner super close, which makes for amazing skin-on-skin contact and deep make-outs.
Have your partner sit on the bed and climb onto their lap. Slide onto them, face-to-face. The classic lotus (seated face-to-face) is a tantric favorite because of its intensity. This position is both easy to do and very intimate. It allows for deep, passionate kissing and clitoral stimulation, either manually or with a toy. Instead of bouncing up and down on your partner, move your hips back and forth to get the most stimulation.
Instead of having your partner lie directly behind you, have them lie beneath your legs while you lie on your back. They should be perpendicular to your body, creating a T-shape between the two of you. Drape your legs over their side and open your knees. You’ll have optimal clitoris access while keeping this lazy position intact. Everyone wins in this position. Everyone gets off, and no one gets exhausted.
]]>“Non-phallic sex toys decenter the penis, allowing a more comfortable, pleasurable experience for those who may not be attracted to men or a penis,” says Shamyra Howard, Sexologist, LCSW.
She adds that they’re also powerful tools for those who have experienced trauma, explaining, “Non-phallic sex toys allow survivors of sexual assault to reclaim their bodies, sexuality, and sex life. Many survivors who were violated by a person with a penis want to explore sexuality while de-centering the penis. Non-phallic sex toys provide users with another chance at safe, no-pressure sexual exploration.”
Finally, these sex toys transcend the limits of a phallic object, allowing users to explore pleasure beyond penetration. Non-phallic sex toys come in a variety of different shapes and sizes, allowing users to better access areas like the clitoris and rectum, as well as erogenous zones all over the body. Howard agrees, “Non-phallic sex toys are often multi-functional and can provide pleasurable stimulation to other erogenous zones such as the clitoris, nipples, inner things, neck, breasts, knees, and labia.”

"The Womanizer Next is a non-phallic sex toy for the multi-orgasm seeker," says Howard. "This sex toy provides pleasure air that mimics oral sensations on the clitoris. It is another multi-function sex toy that also feels good on the nipples."
Pros: Expert-approved; 14 intensity levels and three levels of depth; quiet; waterproof; customizable suction cups
Cons: Expensive

This vibrator, which comes in two chic colors, is made to fasten comfortably onto the user's finger so that stimulating the clitoris can be more intuitive and intimate. Hundreds of reviewers love it for its accessibility (it doesn't strain or hurt your wrist) and for how helpful it is for beginners to sex toys and to clitoral stimulation in general.
Pros: Editor-approved; accessible; easy to use; lightweight; three intensity levels; water-resistant; comfortable; woman and BIPOC-owned brand
Cons: Not quiet

I've written an entire essay about how much I love this necklace. This vibrator was made for the jewelry lover or for the feminist who loves wearing their sexuality on their sleeve. In addition to being a chic gold necklace (it truly matches with everything), it's a fully functioning vibrator with surprisingly powerful vibrations. Reviewers love it for both the way it looks and the way it feels, making it the perfect marriage of form and function.
Pros: Editor-approved; subtle; stylish; has a travel lock; comes in three finishes
Cons: Some reviewers with it had more vibration patterns/speeds

I've extolled the virtues of this toy before, and I'll do it again: The Eva is the perfect hands-free toy for both partnered and solo play. It gently clips onto the clitoris so you can enjoy external stimulation while focusing your hands (or your partner's) elsewhere. It has three intensity levels and a whopping four-hour battery life, so you can keep it running throughout your entire session without worrying about it leaving you hanging.
Pros: Editor-approved; hands-free; three levels of intensity; long battery life; comes in a convenient charging case; woman and BIPOC-owned brand
Cons: Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone lubes

I will always stand by this luxurious sex toy because of its versatility. Because it's made from stainless steel, it's compatible with all types of lube. Because of its curved shape, it's also safe for vaginal and anal penetration, and it includes both a beginner-friendly thin end and an expert-level girthier end. Finally, this toy may not vibrate, but it boasts hundreds of rave reviews attesting to its effectiveness.
Pros: Editor-approved; can be cooled or heated for temperature play; suitable for all experience levels; good for anal and vaginal penetration; easy to clean
Cons: Doesn't vibrate

"The We-Vibe Touch X is a non-phallic sex toy that can fit into the palm of your hand," says Howard. "It’s a multi-function sex toy that provides intense but gentle vibrations that stimulate and titillate various body parts such as the labia, clitoris, and inner thigh." Users agree that it's ergonomic, making it easy to explore different erogenous zones without missing a beat.
Pros: Expert-approved; comes in two colors; seven vibration modes and eight levels of intensity; ergonomic; quiet
Cons: Some users found that the battery life (120 minutes) wasn't long enough; because it's made of silicone, it's not compatible with silicone-based lubes

Thanks to TikTok, the rose clitoral vibrator has become one of the most well-known non-phallic sex toys on the planet. Its beautiful floral shape allows users to store it out in the open, but this toy is more than just decorative—according to thousands of reviews, it packs a punch. With 10 pulsating settings and an effect that mimics the feeling of oral sex, it's more than earned its five-star reputation.
Pros: Decorative; waterproof; easy to clean; multiple vibration settings; popular
Cons: Because it's made of silicone, it's not compatible with silicone-based lubes

For those of us who know the exact spot that the vibrator needs to hit, this vibrator is a perfect choice. Its precision tip is among the most narrow on the market, and it's made with multiple orgasms in mind. The soft, silicone toy also features a comfortable handle that allows you or a partner to maneuver it easily.
Pros: Ergonomic; made for precision; flexible
Cons: Because it's made of silicone, it's not compatible with silicone-based lubes

This vibrator is so beautiful that it was featured in the Museum of Modern Art's Design Store and received a Best in Show award from The Strategist. With its sleek cone shape that fits comfortably in the palm of your hand, it has a precision tip that's perfect for targeted stimulation to the clitoris or to other erogenous zones. Water-resistant, it has three unique speeds and a 1.5 hour battery life.
Pros: Award-winning; woman and BIPOC-owned brand; latex-free; three speeds; water-resistant
Cons: Shorter battery life than some competitors

This anal prober is made from premium, flexible jelly-like material that's perfect for beginners. Its anal beads also increase subtly in size, making it easy to either tease a partner (or yourself) or to slowly increase your comfort level with anal play.
Pros: Affordable; safe for anal penetration; suitable for temperature play
Cons: Made from plastic, so not suitable for use with silicone lube

Howard also recommends this Womanizer toy, calling it "a non-phallic sex toy for those who want to experience some form of penetration." This is perfect for those who know they enjoy penetrative sex but aren't sexually attracted to penises or don't want to use a toy that looks like one. She continues, "This sex toy stimulates that clitoris and provides simultaneous g-spot stimulation. It's a two-in-one sex toy that brings double the pleasure and double the fun."
Pros: Expert-approved; allows users to experience penetration without the use of a phallus; comes in five colors; 14 levels of intensity and 10 vibration patterns; waterproof
Cons: Expensive; some users wish it was quieter

Emojibator specializes in making subtle sex toys that don't look like traditional vibrators. This is both to make vibrators easier to store out in the open and to make them more accessible and beginner-friendly. This strawberry-shaped, travel-friendly bullet vibrator is a perfect example of that. Plus, it has eight vibration settings and eight suction patterns, making it ideal for novices and experts alike.
Pros: Subtle; eight vibration patterns and eight suction modes; great for all experience levels; cute; great for travel; waterproof
Cons: Made from silicone, so not suitable for use with silicone lube

Some people prefer indirect clitoral stimulation from actions like grinding, spurring retailers to create toys for just that. This gadget is not designed not only for maximum friction, but it's also equipped with a motor that delivers up to seven different vibration patterns. Finally, it's also designed to fit perfectly between two bodies during partnered play and to stimulate testicles.
Pros: Made with all anatomies and preferences in mind; ideal for solo or partnered play; works for grinding; vibrates; comes in two colors
Cons: One user disliked that it glows in the dark
Sex toys, including sex toy advent calendars, vibrators, and dildos, make perfect gifts. After all, they're bound to bring a smile to the receiver's face. And if you're gifting one (or multiple) to yourself, you can consider it a worthy investment in your me-time. Below, sex toys that are perfect for gifting, spanning every sexual preference.

This advent calendar is the perfect gift for a partner or for yourself. It’s a fun way of getting through the dog days of winter, with a sexy surprise each day waiting to be unboxed. The set is worth far more than its $250 price tag, with some of its individual toys valued at around $100 alone. Some highlights include a bullet vibrator, a bestselling wand vibrator, a luxurious massage oil, a couple’s cock ring, romantic flower petals, and much more.

This bestselling vibrator is the result of a collaboration between luxury sex toy brand Womanizer and worldwide sex toy retailer Lovehoney. Using Womanizer’s unique Pleasure Air technology, it mimics the sensation of oral sex, offering six levels of intensity so that you can gradually build based on your comfort level. It’s also comfortable to hold and easy to use, with an ergonomic design made with extended use in mind. Reviewers rave about the toy, with one going so far as to call it “life-changing.”

Instead of gifting your loved one a traditional bouquet of flowers this Christmas, why not try giving them a rose that will never die? This rose clitoral vibrator from Inya is wildly popular for the delightful, customizable pleasure it delivers, with seven vibration patterns and three levels of intensity. It’s perfect for use alone or with a partner, is splashproof, and boasts a 45 minute battery life.

Actions speak louder than words, so if you're looking to experiment with bondage, why not show your partner by gifting them this BDSM set? It's the perfect introduction to kink, complete with wrist and ankle cuffs (both of which have quick-release clips), a cock ring, a finger vibrator, a flogger, nipple suckers, and more.

If you or your partner has a penis, consider this kit, which allows you to clone any penis into a highly personalized, fully functional dildo. It’s a funny, sexy project to embark on with a lover, and it even includes add-ons like glow in the dark liquid and even a smooth vibrator that can be inserted into the dildo during the molding process. The Clone-A-Willy kit comes in three different skin tones, along with neon blue and pink options.

Heart-shaped items are a classic way of showing your partner that you love them, so why not opt for a heart-shaped sex toy like this butt plug? Compatible with all lube types and easy to clean, it's a great anal sex toy for beginners and experienced users alike.

This vibrating anal dildo works well for both vaginal and anal use, with its realistic composition (including testicles) and its suction cup base. At a whopping 8.5 inches, it's best for experienced users, though be sure to use lots of lube!

This vibrator is designed for discretion. Its tiny size makes it look like a lipstick, and it fits easily into a wallet, small purse, or cosmetic case. It features three settings, from gentle to powerful, and has rave reviews from dozens of thrilled customers.

I've written extensively about how much I love this vibrator necklace. Not only is it a fully functional bullet vibrator with four vibration speeds and two vibration modes, but it's also the ultimate feminist fashion accessory.

Why limit the gift-a-day logic of advent calendars to the holiday season? This kinky calendar covers a full 30 days, so it can be used any time of the year, and it includes unique sexual ideas for each day. It’s perfect for long term couples in search of new bedroom ideas, for those interested in dabbling in kink, or simply for the sexually adventurous.

For those having penis-vagina sex, a cock ring is one of the best sex toys for mutual pleasure. It fastens comfortably onto the base of the penis and vibrates, resulting in ecstasy for both partners simultaneously during penetrative sex. It has seven different vibration settings, and is flexible enough to fit a variety of penis sizes.

Glass sex toys, like these dildos, are perfect for temperature play. They can be refrigerated before use or lightly heated (be sure to test their temperature to ensure it's body-safe!). Plus, they're easy to clean and can safely be used with water-, silicone-, and oil-based lubes.

With this gift set, fan-favorite, woman-founded sexual wellness brand Dame combines three of its bestsellers. Its Eva toy attaches to the user’s clitoris for hands-free stimulation, and can be used by itself or during penetration. It can also be used in tandem with the Arc, a g-spot vibrator that also comes in the set, and is made for intense yet comfortable stimulation. Both toys are made from medical-grade silicone that’s compatible with the final product in the set—a plant-based aloe lube.

Another discreet, ergonomic option, this medical-grade silicone toy is designed to fit comfortably in the palm of its user’s hand. It can be used as both a full body massager and a clitoral massager, making it ideal for foreplay or for the main event. It has three speeds that are easily controlled with the push of one button, and has an impressive two hour battery life.

This bullet vibrator is a fabulous gift to buy for yourself, for a partner, or even for a good-humored friend. It takes the concept of "lipstick vibrator" literally—shaped like an actual tube of lipstick for total discretion. Feel free to carry it, undetected, in your makeup bag, everyday purse, and more. It's functional, too, with a strong single speed vibration and a splashproof finish.
In light of all this, beloved sex toy brand Womanizer just released a brand new sex toy that goes back to basics and makes shower self-pleasure easier and more subtle than ever before: The Womanizer Wave, a shower head that's designed for female masturbation.
Together with premium bathroom item manufacturer hansgrohe, the brand designed this toy with a sleek, ergonomic shape designed for easy, one-handed use. The shower head is made from high-quality, lightweight ABS material, and contains a control that allows users to adjust the intensity level and pattern of the water pressure. Whether you're using the product to bathe or to have a little fun, you can choose between three luxurious jets: pleasure jet, pleasure whirl, or powder rain. Based on two years of research and testing, the Womanizer Wave was found to be 94 percent more pleasant, 88 percent more arousing, and 86 percent more suitable for self-pleasure than regular showerheads.
Finally, this first-of-its-kind product comes in chrome, black, or white, so it can blend in seamlessly with your existent bathroom décor. It's discreet and practical, marrying the logic behind the most customizable and best vibrators as well as the most effective, high-quality shower heads. With this concept, Womanizer is seeking to smash the taboo and inaccessibility of female masturbation by making it more everyday.
Excited to make shower head a new part of your daily routine? Me, too. You can shop the Womanizer Wave, along with its corresponding hose and a shower head adapter, at Lovehoney's website now.
If you're new to sex toys, this sale is a great opportunity to explore some of the best toys for beginners, as well as top-rated rabbit vibrators, bullet vibrators, sex toys for couples, and more.

Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator $99 $50 | Lovehoney
This completely waterproof toy has gained fame since its inception for its Pleasure Air technology and suction-like effect, which mimic the sensation of receiving oral sex. It has six different levels of intensity for a slow, comfortable build-up, as well as a 240 minute battery life. View Deal

Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Rechargeable Wand Massager $150 $75 | Lovehoney
Wand vibrators are among the most popular types of vibrators on the market because of the powerful external stimulation they can bring the clitoris. This model has a battery life of 180 minutes and a flexible silicone head for increased comfort. View Deal

Lovehoney Indulge G-Spot and Clitoral Suction Stimulator $70 $35 | Lovehoney
This rabbit vibrator is flexible, adjustable, and ideal for simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and g-spot. It boasts seven suction speeds and ten vibration modes, including seven distinct patterns and three levels of increasing intensity.View Deal

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator $90 $45 | Lovehoney
Another knockout rabbit vibrator option, this ultra-quiet toy has eight vibration patterns, including both gentle waves and intense undulating pulses, in addition to twelve levels of intensity.View Deal

Mantric Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator $70 $35 | Lovehoney
For those who prefer external stimulation dispersed around the clitoris and vulva rather than pinpointed on the clitoris, this vibrator is just the ticket. It has seven adjustable vibration settings, and it's whisper-quiet, too. View Deal

Lovehoney Hop Star Remote Control Suction-Cup Rabbit Vibrator $70 $35 | Lovehoney
This toy is excellent for those who love both deep penetration and clitoral stimulation. It has ten vibration settings, a suction cup base, and can be controlled via remote control, making it perfect for both partnered and easy solo play.View Deal

Lovehoney High Flyer 10 Function Remote Control Cock Ring $70 $35 | Lovehoney
If you love incorporating sex toys into your partner play and your partner has a penis (or you do), consider this luxe cock ring, which can be controlled via remote. It has three vibration speeds and seven patterns, and is meant to pleasure both giver and receiver. View Deal
Until May 22, Velvet Co. will be hosting a sale across all its brands, including price cuts to all products starting at 25 percent off. Certain select picks are even 50 percent off, including some of the brand's most iconic toys, like the customizable Universal Thruster as well as the Thruster Mini.
Below, the must-have picks from this limited sale. Happy Masturbation Month, indeed.

Velvet Co. The Universal Thruster $160 $80 | Velvet Co.
This award-winning toy is caters to any and every body, because it's completely customizable. You can choose the color of the head and base as well as the shape of the head, culminating in a toy that looks and feels precisely the way you want it. And when you use the promo code UNIVERSAL at checkout, it's only $80. View Deal

Velvet Co. Universal Thruster Mini $160 $116 | Velvet Co.
This mini sex toy is made from body-safe silicone, has six different vibration speeds, and is highly flexible. It also has a suction cup base—perfect for a bit of fun in the shower. And when you use the promo code MINI4MAY, you can get it for 30 percent off. View Deal

Velvet Co. Puissante, Mini Coco, Suction Vibrator $100 $90 | Velvet. Co
This suction vibrator is perfect for those who enjoy clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. It's also designed simply, with only two straightforward buttons to adjust its settings and vibration intensities.View Deal

Velvet Co. Alien Sex Toy, Bob $38 $36 | Velvet Co.
This sex toy is perfect for those who prefer a discreet toy that doesn't look like a sex toy. And when you're ready to take it off and put it to use, rest assured that it's effective, with ten unique vibration settings.View Deal

Velvet Co. Puissante, Coco, Suction Vibrator $125 $99| Velvet Co.
Made from high-quality body-safe silicone, this vibrator is double-ended and flexible, with an air pulse stimulator on one end and a traditional vibrator on the other. It also features 10 different modes of functionality, including seven intensity settings and three random modes.View Deal

Velvet Co. Lipstick Vibrator $34 $30 | Velvet Co.
Yet another subtle option for when you don't want people to know your vibrator is a vibrator, this clever bullet is shaped like a chic tube of lipstick and boasts ten powerful vibration settings. View Deal

Velvet Co. Capo - Vibrating Stainless Steel Dildo $139 $119 | Velvet Co.
Some people prefer metal or glass sex toys—they're smooth to the touch, easy to clean, and safe to use with oil- and silicone-based lubes. And this particular dildo also vibrates, allowing you to enjoy the best aspects of the two most popular types of sex toys. View Deal

Velvet Co. Thrusting Vibrating Dildo Set $475 $375 | Velvet Co.
Looking to completely replenish your sex toy drawer? This set comes with the brand's lipstick bullet vibrator, vibrating metal dildo, signature thruster toy, and a bottle of lube—all for only $375.View Deal
The sale lasts until May 8, so you only have but a few days to snag these price-slashed, highly coveted goodies, nearly all of which are controllable through a user-friendly mobile app.
As a writer of sexual wellness, I have a seasoned eye for the very best products to incite ecstasy, so I scoured OhMiBod's site for the very best deals on vibrators, masturbators, and other sex essentials. Your best sex session awaits—and at a fraction of the cost.

OhMiBod blueMotion Nex|2 - 2nd Generation $129 $97 | OhMiBod
This G-spot vibrator is one of OhMiBod's most popular toys, and this version features a new and improved remote app so that you or your partner can control the toy's seven unique vibration patterns remotely. Plus, it has a battery life of up to two hours, is splash-proof, and is made from body-safe, phthalate-free silicone.View Deal

OhMiBod Esca 2 $69 $52 | OhMiBod
This is another wildly popular toy, beloved by customers and sexperts alike. Its unique, wearable design is made for maximum comfort and pleasure, and both its vibrations and its flashing LED lights are completely controllable via mobile application. View Deal

OhMiBod Club Vibe 3.Oh Panty Vibe $119 $90 | OhMiBod
This pair of vibrating panties is small, lightweight, and quiet enough for public use—with or without a partner. Plus, unlike most vibrating panties, this vibrator comes with a pair of lacy black underwear, a remote control that works even while plugged in, and a bottle of lube. With three vibration modes and and a battery life of over an hour, this vibrator is perfect for spicing up a relationship with some kinky partner play.View Deal

OhMiBod Romp Rose Hot Pink $50 $38 | OhMiBod
For those who prefer clitoral stimulation (at least 80 percent of people with vaginas!), rose toys like this one are absolute staples. And with six intensity levels and four vibration patterns, it makes for the perfect bouquet that never grows old and truly keeps on giving. View Deal

OhMiBod Lumen $119 $90 | OhMiBod
This anal plug is a great anal toy for beginners, especially due to its modest size and its four customizable pulsation modes. It can also be used in tandem with OhMiBod's signature Club Vibe mode, which syncs vibrations to ambient sounds like music—or even moaning.View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Share Couples Vibrator $79 $60 |OhMiBod
This ring is a perfect sex toy for couples in which at least one partner has a penis. It's splash-proof and has seven unique vibration patterns, and it has a battery life of a whopping two and a half hours. View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Natural Lubricant $14 $11 | OhMiBod
Lube is an essential tool for play that makes sex more comfortable—both solo and partnered sex, toy or no toy. This lube is water soluble and water-based, so you can use it with latex condoms and silicone toys without worrying about either tool degrading. View Deal

OhMiBod Lovelife Flex Kegel Weights $45 $34 | OhMiBod
Kegel weights are excellent for maintaining the health and strength of your pelvic floor muscles, which are necessary for preventing incontinence and keeping up good posture. This set gradually increases in weight so that you can strength train at your own pace. View Deal

OhMiBod Fuse $149 $112 | OhMiBod
Who doesn't love a good rabbit vibrator? And this particular dual-stimulation toy is, of course, mobile app compatible. It also features three sensors and two LED lights for an enhanced experience. View Deal

OhMiBod Tenga Easy Beat Egg Six Pack $39 $30 | OhMiBod
These masturbators, meant for users with penises, are packaged in a surprisingly adorable way. And although they're small, rest assured that they're made from flexible silicone material designed to adapt to any size. View Deal
A handful of these options take place in silence or give you ample opportunity to discuss what's happening around you—so even if the date doesn't work out, you get to have the experience regardless! Plus, you'll get to know a person even better by putting them into a situation they may not be used to, like cycling or going to an arcade. Ahead, 80 fun dates—including cheap date ideas for couples on a budget and at-home dates if you're stuck inside—to get you started.

Whether you're a true art buff or just along for the ride, this one's a great quiet place for both of you to gauge each other's interests and conversational skills. Choose a fun, exciting gallery or photo exhibit that's not too obscure if you're anxious about not having enough to talk about.
Similarly, museums have new or rotating exhibits—even if you've been before, there might be something new to see. They also have spaces to sit, eat, and chat, and potentially architecture or gardens that offer options to walk around. Museums are designed to spark engagement and conversation, which is perfect. At the very least you can laugh about not understanding the significance of everything.
You’ll know right away if the relationship stands a chance once you find out who’s better in the kitchen. Approaching it from the right attitude—just have fun and be willing to make a mess!—means you'll have a blast.
Carbs and a significant other? Sign us up. Sure, buying boxed noodles seems easier, but watching someone crank out some dough is an unspoken turn-on. (There, we said it.)
You read that right: Not just wine-tasting, wine school. This will help you feel classy and cultured as you learn how to properly taste the beverage, differentiate between types, find what you like best, and, yes, drink some delicious wine. There's always something to discuss while you sip!
Learn how to craft your favorite fancy cocktail—or design an entirely new custom drink together—while taking a mixology class. You might even finally learn what all those accessories that came with the cocktail shaker on your bar cart are used for!
Bring out your competitive side and get creative in the kitchen by taking a page out of the Food Network’s book and crafting a Chopped-style challenge for you and your date. Pick a few random ingredients that each of you will need to incorporate into a dish of your choosing, set a time limit, and hit the kitchen. Once time’s up, do a taste test and score each other’s dishes on taste, presentation, and creativity—and remember, if all goes awry, you can always call in an emergency takeout order to eat instead while you laugh about your culinary fails.
Hit up your local Goodwill to browse through the racks together. You could find your new, favorite gem. You could also make a game of it by giving each other 30 minutes to find the flashiest outfits to wear to dinner right after. Look at you being all fun and sustainable!

Whether you’re into vintage clothes and your date is into artisan furniture, or they’re into hand-crafted jewelry and you’re on the hunt for new artwork, there’s no doubt you could spend hours pursuing a flea market together. With various sellers and makers displaying their best goods for sale, from unique art and tchotchkes to thrifted threads, there would surely be many fun finds to look through together. Most cities have at least one frequent, recurring flea, or special pop-up at the very least; just be on the lookout.
If your area has a shop-lined street, go looking without making any impulse purchases. Start fun conversations by going into a wildly expensive store with things you can't afford or a knickknack store with random trinkets. These areas can be bustling around rush hour, with plenty to do and see (plus restaurants if all that perusing works up an appetite).
Make like Leslie Knope and become a novice treasure hunter! One kind of global treasure hunt is called geocaching, some cities have formal hunts, and universities like MIT have competitive annual competitions. You could also take the stakes way lower by simply walking around to see if you can spot certain objects. It's like a hike, with a purpose!
Throw yourselves a themed bash (guests: the two of you!) featuring inexpensive decorations, some lights, and festive cocktails. You could try a kids' party theme, a luau, a '90s costume party, or something the two of you make up. If you want to expand it into double-date territory, great, otherwise make it the most exclusive party ever.
There is a '70s fashion revival, so it's the perfect time for you and your date to jump in on the trend. Pick up a tie-dye kit at your local craft store, set it up outside, and go all out to see who can create the most colorful tee.
Get your hands dirty and make some art together—you can get to know each other while making a new addition for your home. So, even if the date is bad, you’ll at least feel like your time wasn't wasted. And if the vase looks ridiculous but the date went well, you'll have a funny story!
If either of your creative skills are lacking, a class that tell you exactly what to paint and how to paint it may be up your alley. Bring along your favorite bottle of vino and laugh at each other's attempts at becoming Picasso.
If it works for mandatory coworker bonding, it's worth a try for a fun stranger date. Even if you're not exactly Zooey Deschanel in the vocals department, it's more about enjoying the moment and showing your personality. Be sure to ask first before you spring it on them, though.
You don’t need tickets to an arena show or a sold-out tour coming through town to see great live music. Support a local artist or band and an independent music venue by checking out a concert from your hometown scene. You and your date can chat between the sets, and years from now you might be able to say, “I saw them perform before they were famous.”
If you feel like you’ve exhausted all the typical “show” options for dinner-and-a-show dates, it might be time to get a little artsy-fartsy. Rather than heading for the movie theater, comedy club, or concert arena, mix things up by taking in a ballet performance, a modern dance recital, a play, or classical music, then put on your best art critic berets and discuss the meanings of the performance.
It's one thing to attend a poetry reading or comedy show, it's quite another to get up and bare your soul to a group of strangers. Granted, this one's not for people who get stage fright. If that's the case, you can sit and cheer while your date takes the plunge.

If you both have an appetite for adventure and want to undergo the ultimate dating "survival test," there's nothing quite like being suspended from great heights on a harness while you're clinging for dear life to do it.
Whether you're a strike machine or a 10-pin novice, bowling alleys are a lot of fun, from the beer and cheap pizza to the rush of that first strike. Set up the bumper guards to avoid embarrassment or go no-holds-barred for a competitive match. Just go easy on each other if one of you is better.
Get some fresh air and ride some bikes together. It’s the perfect intro to part two of your date: a picnic in the park (keep reading)—where you can sit down, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. And the food will be worth it because you exercised!
If you and your new date are the athletic sort, what better way to bond than through a shared passion? For anyone hoping for a more low-key activity, trying an exercise class, hitting the gym, or even walking at a decent pace can all fit the bill.
Not all roller skaters were born with balance, but taking a risk with a roller skating date can take the seriousness out of a first date that typically involves wining and dining. A few falls later and you'll both be a whole lot closer, if a bit bruised.
Sign up for an hour of dancing lessons where both of you are beginners. Even if your partner has two left feet, you'll be bonded by learning a skill together. Stay for the all-couple dance session afterward once you're starting to get the hang of it, or retire elsewhere for a bite to eat.
No dance lessons are required to groove on the dance floor at a local club. Once you two have gotten to know each other, you might have a blast showing off your moves under the light of a disco ball. See live music and boogie to the beat, look up what bars have a DJ spinning their selects, or impress your date by following local DJs in your area and taking them to one of their parties.
Not only is this an out-there date idea, but it's a great stress reliever too. There's just something about throwing a heavy axe at a wooden target that makes us forget about our worries and act as if we were on a one-on-one Bachelor date.
We got to love those Bachelor dates! To emulate some fairy tale romance, spend a day at the stables riding trail horses for the afternoon. If neither of you have much equestrian experience, take a couple of laps around the paddock before trotting out into the wilderness
Even though you're way past the age for miniature golf, the low-stakes game allows for some lighthearted fun without feeling like you need to be competitive (and if the other person gets a little crazy about it, that'll probably tell you a lot). Plus, the yawn-worthy pace of golf means you can chat and play without interruption.
Another date that sounds like it's straight out of The Bachelor, impress your thrill-seeking date with one of the coolest activities out there. You could also trade it out with another heights-heavy activity like bungee jumping, but it'll immediately establish you as the coolest first date ever. Plus, it'll be hilarious if you're both getting over your fear of heights together.
If you're not into the traditional first date thing, take a lighthearted sports bar approach to the date night with an outdoorsy game of badminton, beach volleyball, or pickleball. This can also be a blast as a group activity.
Shuffleboard is a classic bar game, but you haven’t really played until you’ve made your way to a shuffleboard court. If there’s a shuffleboard club in your city, booking a court will make for a lively night, as you use tangs (shuffleboard's official term for cues) to move biscuits (the discs) down the 52-foot-length court where you face off in a friendly competition. If you go with friends or another couple, the two of you could also form a team and show off your skills as a unit.
Put on your workout clothes and head to the park for some fresh air and relaxation. Partner yoga positions are always the move, and you can get to know each other in more ways than one(!). Plus, they'll have a new respect for how hard yoga is.
Bundle up and support your local ice skating rink. Learning or teaching (you little pro!) someone a new thing helps bring people together, so get ready to watch the sparks fly. Don't forget to grab some hot chocolate after!
No, laser tag is not just for 13-year-olds at birthday parties. It's a great way to have some friendly competition on a date and it's a fun way to work up a sweat. Up the ante with a little wager: The loser has to buy the first round of drinks.

For those with a short attention span and an adventurous spirit, get to know your date over an adrenaline-racing round of arcade games. Play up your competitive side or join forces as a team against another pair with a game of foosball. And, if you're terrible at games like me, play a couple rounds then cheer your date on as they're crushing it.
Appeal to your inner child by buying tickets for a carnival. It may seem cliché, but embrace the cheesiness—share cotton candy, let them try to win you a prize and ride a roller coaster if you've got the stomach for it. It's a great way to get to know each other while having fun at the same time and talking about your memories of childhood.
If you're both thrill-seekers, an amusement park is a great way to spend a day. Just think of all the deep convos you can have standing in line for rides. Plus, roller coasters and games have a way of bringing out the fun side of people.
You'll find out just how compatible you and your date are in a matter of minutes in an escape room. The two of you will have to work together to solve riddles and uncover clues to discover the secret of the room. These can be seriously fun, or seriously infuriating, depending on who you're with, so proceed with caution.
Show off your knowledge of your favorite animals at your local zoo. Not only is it a sure way to get your steps in, but it's a fun way to spend time outdoors. Plus, you can always use the excuse of the chilly penguin house to cuddle up to your date.
Big holidays like Chinese New Year and annual food festivals are excellent opportunities to sample bites while you get to know someone. All the various food options and the mingling in a crowd will give you a good chance to survey how adventurous and adaptable the other person is, too. Bonus: You might find a new place for an upcoming dinner date.
Instead of pairing your dinner with a show, make the meal itself the entertainment. Either sign up for a local food tour around your city—whether organized around a specific neighborhood, cuisine, or historical event—or build your own, complete with score sheets, to look for the city’s best doughnut, dumpling, or slice of pizza.
Don't just walk to get ice cream—lean in. Compete to see which of you can craft the most delicious/ridiculous concoction, then race to eat them before they melt. Bonus points if you can make something your date wants more than their creation.
Sure, it's fun to watch your city or state's team play, but try a sport you guys have never watched or supported before—like netball or rowing, for instance. Local colleges and universities often have games open to the public, and there should be enough space to sit, watch, and listen to yourselves talk while you cheer (and try to explain the rules of the game to each other).
In the warmer months, this could mean a roof deck with a water feature, in the winter it could mean a jacuzzi or splashing around in a public pool. But if you're hanging out poolside, it's a relaxing and chill vibe. If you're diving in (pun intended) with bathing suits on, that could be quite sexy, right? Just make sure your date's up for it before you go.
Whether you live by an ocean, lake, or body of water, a day out on the sand is always a calming date spot if the weather's playing nice. If you're feeling it, rock a two-piece and offer to apply sunscreen. Soak in some sunshine near the water and as the day draws to a close, take a romantic stroll with the setting sun as an Instagram-worthy backdrop.
There are plenty of open-air venues like parks and rooftops that you can visit during warmer months; even better, many have old, classic movies or shows. The shared atmosphere and classic flick are a perfect combo.

It may be a bit of a drive, but the chances are you live less farther than you might expect from a drive-in movie theater. These throwback establishments still screen new releases and tend to play retrospective titles, but it’s as much about the experience as it is about the movie. It’ll be a kitschy-cute time tuning the radio or setting up the sound device in your vehicle, making your seats or trunk especially cozy, and curating the perfect menu of snacks.
This one's a definite time commitment, so you might want to get to know each other over a drink or meal before going for this option. But the perks of an outdoor show, especially if you both love the band, are the good vibes. If there's space on the lawn, pack a blanket, or you can get up close and personal in the pit.
These acts are designed to be entertaining, sexy, or laugh-out-loud funny. The scene is loud and boisterous, and the food and drink scene is usually fun, too. It's like the old dinner and a show—but make it cool.
It's pretty much a guarantee that you'll find a local play, poetry reading, dance troupe, or other public event to attend—and it's supporting local culture, even if it doesn't end up being your cup of tea.
Sharing a few laughs is one way to become closer to your date. Head to your favorite comedian's show or pop in at an open mic night for some lighthearted fun. If the two of you are feeling brave, sit in the front row and maybe you'll get picked on for a few jokes at your expense.
No ambiance is more romantic than the hush of a soft-lit aquarium. Stroll through the darkened rooms while you point out your favorite creatures behind the glass. Some aquariums offer interactive educational exhibits and teach guests eco-friendly ways to clean up the ocean, so you'll feel like you got something out of it.
The length of a 30-minute ferry ride from one locale to the other is the perfect bite-sized date option for people who don't want to have to drag things out over dinner or drinks. It's a good chance to get fresh air and assess whether you might want to go on a post-excursion drink or coffee.
If you'd rather see things from the water, be it a water taxi or duck boat tour, this can be a fun date option (and some boats offer cocktails, as another plus!). This requires a sizable body of water, so the landlocked may want to consider kayaking or fishing at a local lake.
Combine powers to form a dream team at trivia night. You'll laugh as you rack your brains for city names and bond over your knowledge of obscure horror films. Plus, drinks are usually on the house if you end up winning.
One great all-season date for booze lovers is a brewery tour. You can sip on the latest IPAs and ciders while getting to know each other—it's a win-win. The same goes for a winery or cidery: Most places know the key is a killer ambiance.
Board game bars are popping up everywhere these days. Snag a table, order a round of drinks or some bites to eat, and settle in for some friendly competition. It’s up to you whether you introduce each other to your childhood faves or learn the rules of a new game together—then prepare for victory at the next couples game night you’re invited to.
Switch up your plans to stay in by breaking out your favorite board games, or even a deck of playing cards. There are always new games on the market, too, so you could each come prepared with something that sounds fun to you and give both of your suggestions a try. Game night is also a cost-effective way to hang out with other couples and friends; splitting up pairs could even make for some playful competition.
Call us old-fashioned, but nothing is more relaxing than putting together a 500-piece puzzle with someone. The conversation flows, and if you run out of stuff to talk about, you can hold up a piece to ask where its counterpart is. BOOM, instant conversation. There are dozens of chic puzzles available nowadays, and you could even gift your date one that reflects their interests.
Channel your inner gamer and face off in a video game tournament. The two of you could introduce each other to your favorite games, so you each have the opportunity to whoop the other one and play something new.
If you both have a cause you support (or if a place nearby needs your help), consider signing up to volunteer. There'll be plenty to keep you busy, you'll feel like your time went to good use, and you may even bond over the experience.
For those who love to travel but don't want to (or can't) go far, take a bus or a train an hour away to see the local sights and escape your daily routine. Treat it like a real vacay, with fun local snacks and sightseeing. Even though it's just a skip and a jump away, it's like a whole new world.
There's nothing like some collective scares to bring people together. If your town has some history, there's a good chance there's a local guide to share the town's local haunts. A ghost tour under the stars may sound eerie to some, but to fright-lovers, it's an ideal first date.
If your town has a scooter, consider yourself lucky. Not only are they a cheap and easy way to get around town, but they would also make for an exciting date. Scooter rentals exist, as well, so you could go for a joy ride or use one en route to your next date destination in style.
You may think, "Why would I go to a furniture store?" But this isn't just any old furniture store. It's IKEA! No one has ever sighed before telling someone they were making their merry way to the famous Swedish furniture store. Also, it has a food court with some incredible cake, which is great after a day of picking out your dream space.

You + the great outdoors + your date who you pray is into this as much as you are = the perfect date. Don't forget to bring a comfy blanket, snacks, and have a chill playlist for your evening under the stars.
If either of you have a yard, then you're set to have a romantic evening under the stars. Grab some firewood, smores, blankets, and lawn chairs, and chat around a bonfire. It's a cheap way to get to know someone, and who doesn't love the smell of a bonfire?
Keep it simple with a stroll through the park followed by a picnic lunch on the green. Pick out your favorite frozen treats from an ice cream vendor, and chat while you hang out in the grass. You can even people-watch while you're at it. The best part? It's cheaper than an expensive dinner.
Feel sustainable and healthy (and maybe pick up something for dinner) as you walk by stands of gorgeous fruits, vegetables, and locally made goods. If you've never been, it's also a way to educate yourselves on what's in season and what cool local vendors have delicious stuff you can add to your meal rotation.
As long as it's not winter, there's likely a farm nearby where you can stroll along and pick fruits like berries, apples, and even pumpkins. Help each other pick the best fruit over great convos then enjoy a cup of cider or two. If the date goes well, you can even head home to bake yourselves a pie.
Enjoy a sweet with your sweet! While you could go out for dessert, you could also take a trip to the grocery store, source all the ingredients for a recipe, and spend an afternoon or evening in the kitchen whipping up something delectable. Baking lava cakes in ramekins would be the perfect dish for two, cookies are always reliable, or there’s always the option of baking a cake and decorating it together once it’s out of the oven.
Pick a couple of nearby landmarks or activities and commit to experiencing them like you don't live there. Embarking on a local trip will make for a unique shared experience and give you the fun feeling of "discovering" your area for the first time. Fanny pack optional.
If you’re near one of their locations, Eataly is the perfect place to explore and eat some great food. If not, try and find some local food trucks to get a taste (or two or three) of what they enjoy. Instead of settling in and only experiencing one place, hopping around can make for some fun discussion.
Is there a beautiful mural you love by your home? The perfect place to watch the sunset? That little hole-in-the-wall bakery with the best donuts? Take a walk and share the little details you love about your area, and encourage the other person to do the same.
The hushed atmosphere of a planetarium combined with the dark room makes for an ideal ambiance for a first date. Spend an evening gazing at the stars and learning about the constellations, with lots of hand-holding potential.
There's no better place to explore on a date than the pretty manicured lawns and gardens of a botanical garden. Pro tip: Plan to go later in the day or after the summer rush if you don't want to sweat in a greenhouse at mid-day. If they allow food, this can also be a perfect picnic spot.
Good vibes only. This would be a memorable experience, whether you're an avid follower of astrology and the supernatural or not. Embrace whatever energy comes from the reading, and perhaps learn more about your date's personality (and whether or not you're wasting your time!).
When you're both book nerds, a day spent browsing your local bookstore is the ideal setup to get you bonding over your favorite titles. It also allows you to give each other suggestions on what to read next. Just making sure you're not getting too lost among the shelves that you're not paying attention to your date.
This may not be for everyone (a person who doesn't like getting up early, for example), or for every time of year, but there's something magical about trucking out together in the early morning to watch the sky change color. Bonus: Go to brunch after.
Whether your city has a Ferris wheel, observation deck, or another sky-high view, find a location that helps you see your area from a new perspective. That could be traveling a few miles out or even just going to a roof deck to help you look at things in a new way together.
Get solo or couples' massages! Chill out in the jacuzzi! Hang out in the sauna! There's much to do here, especially after a long, exhausting day. Just ensure you're both at the same level of comfort (maybe one of you prefers a non-nude spa, you know?).
Have you ever walked by an open house of a beautiful building and thought, It must be so gorgeous in there. Go see how the other half lives, ogle some stunning decor, and talk about what you like and don't like. Best case: It might be useful later on! Worst case: cool architecture, and you don't have to talk much.
Why drink coffee at a regular cafe when you can drink coffee at a cat cafe? Sip on your espresso drink of choice while surrounded by cute, cuddly cats. Who knows? Maybe one of you will head home with a new furry friend.
Take your furry friend out to the dog park for some much-needed playtime. You'll both get a kick out of watching the pups and your dog will love the chance to expel some energy. It's a win-win. Don't have a dog? Sneak in before someone calls you out on it.
]]>So, this month consider indulging in a vibrator or dildo so that you can better explore your needs and desires. In fact, there's no better time than now to look into expanding (or starting!) your sex toy collection: Woman-founded sex toy retailer Babeland is hosting a tremendous online sale in which you can take $25 off any order of more than $125 when you use the promo code MARCH25 at checkout. Plus, you can get free (and discreet) shipping when you spend at least $69 on the site.
The best part? The brand is partnering with the National Network of Abortion Funds, offering limited edition merchandise whose proceeds go towards providing women in need with safe, affordable abortions. On Babeland's site, you can also easily add a donation as low as $1 to your subtotal when you check out.
Below, check out some of my favorite items from the sale. Could there possibly be a more pleasurable way to donate to women's rights? If there is, I've yet to find it.

In partnership with feminist artist Julie Mollo, Babeland is selling this adorable clutch—perfect for stashing your makeup, toiletries, and, of course, your sex toys. A portion of the proceeds from every single purchase will go towards the National Network of Abortion Funds.

This new arrival from award-winning brand Je Joue comes in two colorways, and boasts five vibration speeds and seven patterns. Plus, it's compact and features a travel lock, which means it's made with on-the-go pleasure in mind.

If you're a fan of both g-spot vibrators and clitoral suction toys, check out this new product from beloved luxury sex toy brand Womanizer. It stimulates the clitoris with pleasure air technology while simultaneously hitting the g-spot just right.

The world of anal toys and anal vibrators is vast, but for beginners, experts recommend a modest vibrating butt plug like this cute heart-shaped one. Made from high-quality silicone, it features six vibration levels and 15 patterns, so that novice and advanced users alike can rest assured that there's something for everyone.

That's right: Babeland carries lingerie, too! This top-rated mesh teddy is a steal, too, and features removable garters. You're sure to feel sexy (and comfortable!) in its flexible fabric and supportive underwire.

This straightforward, no-frills dildo is realistic, g-spot and p-spot safe, and is designed to both suction to a hard surface and fit comfortably into a strap-on harness. Reviewers love it too, saying that it strikes the perfect balance between soft and firm.

If you're truly looking to invest in your sex life, you should look into purchasing lube. It can enhance (and make safer) both solo and partner play, and opens your sexual world up to countless new possibilities. And this particular option is water-based, which means it's safe to use on toys of any material (whereas silicone- and oil- based lubes can degrade certain toys).

Cock rings are a great way of not only maximizing pleasure for both partners (during penis-vagina sex), but they're also perfect for people looking to manage the level of penetration they're receiving by shortening the length of the penis. And this ring has a fantastic special feature: A "rabbit" head that stimulates the clitoris during use.

Don't be fooled by the petite size of this bullet vibrator—it's made to produce strong, rumbling vibrations, is completely waterproof, and has ten unique intensity levels. One reviewer writes, "If I could rate this more than 5 stars I would. I really like the shape of this one, and the different settings with different pulses, vibration levels, and mix-up programs, which are all so fun to experiment with and doesn't get boring."

Whether you're new to kink, a BDSM aficionado, or simply looking for ways to spice up your relationship, a pair of restraints is always great to have on hand. This set is a bestseller, with one reviewer writing, "Comfortable and easy to feel confident in using them. Perfect for exploring while feeling safe."

If you like sex card games and you're into tarot cards, I've got great news for you: This popular game combines both to produce a sex game that's both spiritual and steamy. It's perfect for beginners to sex games, or for simply adding some extra unpredictability to date night.

This toy is inclusive for all sexualities and genitalia, and is great for both solo and partner play. Several users write that it's perfect for non-penetrative grinding, and another adds that it even looks great on a nightstand!

This stunning wand vibrator comes in four colorways, but it's more than just pretty. With 10 vibration speeds and six different patterns, it has users raving. One writes, "This thing is magic. I may never leave the house again."
As a passionate proponent and writer of all things sexual wellness, I admit that I own a vibrator or two (or three or four...). Each one is a little different, geared toward g-spot or clitoral stimulation or both, and they're made from various materials and intended for various purposes, whether for solo or partner play. But of all the sex toys I've encountered, I've never come to know anything remotely comparable to the Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace.
The basics: This fully functioning bullet vibrator is made from body-safe stainless steel with a single silicone button positioned at its base. The button both turns the vibrator on and allows users to cycle between the tool's four separate vibration speeds as well as its two modes: constant or pulsing. And, uniquely, the vibrator comes with a removable chain at its base so that it can be worn as a long necklace.
When it comes to vibration quality, this toy packs an impressive punch—especially considering its small size. I've often turned it on while in social settings so that my curious friends can feel how intense the vibrations are, and every time, their eyes widen and they marvel at how such a tiny, thin piece of steel can yield such a strong (but quiet!) effect.
But that's not the only reason this vibrator makes me feel so empowered.
Since I was in high school, I've always loved wearing necklaces—particularly long ones that reach down to my sternum, transforming any plain shirt or lackluster outfit into something far more unique. Jewelry has always been one of my favorite ways of expressing myself, and I like buying pieces that speak to who I am and what I believe in, much in the same way that one buys pins or patches announcing their political stances. And to me, wearing a vibrator as a necklace is not just a highly effective way of upping one's flirting game, though it is certainly that. It is also one of the most powerful means of announcing myself as a feminist.
A number of studies, both anecdotal and statistical, point to the fact that a lack of sexual education increases rates of sexual assault and teen pregnancy. When children and adolescents are not taught about contraception and pleasure before they begin to have sex (which is the case for more than 60 percent of sexually active young adults in the U.S.), they don't understand how to prevent STDs or unwanted pregnancies, and they don't possess the emotional and communication tools needed to navigate mutual consent and pleasure. Furthermore, denying young people comprehensive, practical, pleasure-inclusive sexual education means denying them the tools they need to identify, prevent, and address sexual assault when it happens—something that has a particularly traumatic impact on women and the LGBTQ community.
Finally, when we teach abstinence-only sexual education, we remove female and LGBTQ pleasure from the equation entirely. This sets these communities up to believe that their pleasure, and therefore their consent, is entirely unnecessary, when in reality it's absolutely essential.
For these reasons, I like talking about sex—particularly about female pleasure and how important it is—just about any chance I get. I believe that, by being open and unashamed, each and every one of us has the power to erase stigma and to help others release their own feelings of shame. I love that my Vesper Vibrator Necklace starts countless conversations about sex, pleasure, and sex toys; love that it creates a fun, low-pressure environment in which people feel more comfortable talking about their own experiences with pleasure and perceptions about toys.
And I feel powerful when I'm wearing my Vesper. Although it's subtle, and even my most sexually liberated friends don't realize that it's a vibrator, wearing my Vesper is my way of infusing my ensemble with my feminist beliefs. It asserts my stance as a sex-positive woman who prioritizes her own experience, who has the courage to pursue what she wants and needs, and who believes herself worthy of pleasure—and chic, high-performance pleasure, at that.
]]>Does all this speak to you? Then you're in luck. This week, online sex retailer Lovehoney is having a tremendous sale that involves up to 50 percent off of select sex toys, $25 and under lingerie, and free (and discreet) one-day shipping when you spend at least $200. Plus, all of their products are rigorously tested and vetted, so you can trust that you're receiving high-quality items made exclusively from body-safe material.

Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless Vibrator $150 $120 | Lovehoney
This magic wand is one of the most popular and recognizable sex toys of all time, having been name-dropped in shows like Sex and The City. View Deal

Lovehoney Touch Me Rechargeable Silicone Finger Vibrator $37 $19 | Lovehoney
This silicone vibrator is meant to wrap around one's finger like a ring, making it a divine addition to either partnered or solo play. Reviewers say that it's easy to use and recharge, and that its vibrations are surprisingly intense for its size.View Deal

Lovehoney Moonlight Desire Red Satin Crotchless Teddy $50 $25 | Lovehoney
Heat things up this V-Day with this crotchless, bright red teddie from Lovehoney. Reviewers say that it's supportive and form-fitting without being too tight, but advise that you size up when buying. View Deal

Lovehoney Secret Agent Rechargeable Remote Control Love Egg $50 $25 | Lovehoney
Looking for something to spice up date night? Consider this remote-controlled toy. The vibrator itself is the perfect size to fit inside a pair of underwear, and you can give the remote to your partner so they can sneakily control your pleasure from afar (or from across the dinner table). View Deal

Lovehoney Indulge G-Spot and Clitoral Suction Stimulator $70 $49 | Lovehoney
For those who enjoy dual stimulation (simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and the g-spot), consider this splash-proof toy. It's highly customizable, with seven suction speeds on its clitoral component, along with ten vibration modes, seven vibration patterns, and three levels of intensity. View Deal

Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator $50 $35 | Lovehoney
This pretty, V-Day appropriate toy is a bestseller on Lovehoney's site, and is meant to simulate the intense sensation of receiving oral sex. In the words of one reviewer, "all I can say is that the hype is real."View Deal

Womanizer Classic 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator $129 $103 | Lovehoney
This luxury sex toy is one of the most highly rated and most popular toys on the internet, and with good reason. Its unique clitoral-stimulating technology makes for intense orgasms, and it even includes an "afterglow" setting to use post-orgasm so that you don't end up feeling overstimulated.View Deal

Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-On Pegging Kit (4 Piece) $70 $42 | Lovehoney
This kit includes everything you need to start experimenting with a strap-on: A dildo, harness, vibrator, and set of o-rings (which you can place on the shaft of the dildo to control the depth of penetration). Reviewers love it, writing that it fits comfortably and is easy to use. View Deal

Lovehoney Fierce Erotic Open-Cup Crotchless Bustier Set $35 $19 | Lovehoney
Don this ultra-sexy set for a little post-Valentine's-date fun. Multiple customers write that the bustier "leaves little to the imagination." Plus, it's crotchless, so you can have fun without ever needing to take it off.View Deal

Lovehoney Booty Wonderland Vibrating Anal Beads Set $40 $20 | Lovehoney
Anal beads are a great way to get started with anal play, and this vibrating set comes particularly recommended. According to reviewers, the vibration settings are gentle enough for foreplay and for beginners. View Deal
However, the variety of sex card games out there is surprisingly large. For that reason, we've asked sex expert Esther Perel to share with us her ultimate guidance on why you should try sex card games and how to find the right one for you.
"It is the quality of our relationships that determines the quality of our lives," Perel maintains, when explaining her penchant for sex card games and her drive to create her own game, Where Should We Begin. "Today, we often need new resources to help us manage the complexity of relationships, because the norms are shifting under our feet, and the rules that guided us through the relational landscapes have really changed massively. So we often find ourselves with a lot of choice, but also a lot of self-doubt, and a lot of uncertainty."
During the pandemic, Perel explains, this sense of uncertainty and isolation magnified, inspiring her to find "a playful way, an educational technology, a social technology that is playful, that is fun, that allows people to try out things and to take risks within the safe container of a game."
"One of the beautiful things about playing a game is that it gives you a different script than the one that you just had in your head when you were playing the role of the spouse or the partner," says Perel. Games, she explains, can spice up a relationship or simply prevent monotony by allowing you and your partner to switch up your prescribed script and find a new way to be intimate—both physically and emotionally.
Plus, she says, framing intimacy as game-play can allow both partners to feel more at ease than they might in normal circumstances. "If I tell you a story and it's very serious and linear, it's completely different than if I'm telling you the story that is wrapped in a ritual called, 'We're playing,'" she says.
She also points out that card games are a more familiar, comfortable way of adding variety to your sex life than sex toys might be. "It's not about buying a certain toy or sexual accoutrements or a candle or anything like that," she says. In those situations, she admits, "people may laugh, because it feels awkward; because it doesn't fit anymore in the relationship." On the other hand, card games often encourage storytelling and structured exploration.
"Storytelling is a wonderful bridge to each other," she says, explaining that they can encourage vulnerability with one another without forcing it. "In the course of telling stories, you find yourself suddenly experiencing vulnerability that you never anticipated. It just suddenly came over you, but you are protected by the game. So when it's somebody else's turn, there's an end to it. You're not tied to 45 minutes in a [couples' therapy] session."
When selecting a sex card game, it's important to consider the type of romantic experience you're looking to have. For instance, are you looking to verbally answer questions that can serve as foreplay (i.e., a question about your favorite kinks or about your favorite parts of your partner's body) or would you prefer a game whose cards dare you to perform certain sex acts?
If you want to start by taking it slow, Perel recommends finding a game with open-ended questions. This way, each partner can ease their way into the vulnerable, often sexual, mindset. "I love open-ended questions because it allows people to then take them anywhere they want," she says. "No yes and no answers, but stories that it's like the power of the imagination."
Furthermore, it's important to consider how competitive you want your game to be. When Perel was making her game, she says she considered all sorts of possibilities: "I thought, what card game should it be? Do you win against each other?"
Just as she considered these "game mechanics" when crafting the rules for Where Should We Begin, you should also consider what sort of logistics would work best within you and your partner's dynamic.
And if you or your partner are still nervous about the pressure that a sex card game might instill, Perel says to look for games with different levels of intensity or intimacy. In those cases, "nothing is geared towards pushing you for revelation. You can play it completely safe, you can position yourself at any level you want."
Best Sex Card Game for All Relationships
"It's good for every stage of a relationship, because in a way the intention will change the way you play," Perel says of her game. "It's a game that you play when you are building a relationship. It's a game that you play when you want to be fueled and regenerate and infuse lightness and playfulness and energy into your relationship. It's a game that you play when you say, 'I don't want to talk about the kids, I don't want to talk about work.'" I, too, have played the game with a number of people at this point—both romantic and platonic—and it's deepened my relationships every time.
Best Sex Card Game for Parties
You may have heard of We're Not Really Strangers through its flawless Instagram, its popularity amongst TikTok users, or its recent cameo on Only Murders in the Building. The game, which is among my very favorites to play with friends and partners alike, is meant to deepen connections and foster intimacy, and these particular edition features 300 questions and wildcards that allow players to delve into their kinks, preferences, and more.
Best Sex Card Game for Enhancing Small Talk
Rowntree recommends this game for couples who are looking to heighten the emotional and physical intimacy. "Our Moments is great for couples regardless of how long you have been together," says Angie Rowntree, founder and director of the ethical porn site Sssh.com. "The game is structured around asking questions to foster intimacy—many of which you might not have even thought to ask in the course of your usual small talk."
Best Sex Card Game for Getting To Know Each Other
Sex educator Tara Jones specifically recommends this product, and reviewers agree that it's filled with thoughtful, open-ended questions aimed at further acquainting both partners with one another. Customers also say it's fun to play whether you're casually dating or in a committed relationship.
Best Sex Card Game for New Couples
"Use Your Mouth is perfect. It’s created by a therapist & sexologist and receives rave reviews," says sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly. "Games that get you talking about feeling, fears, dreams, fantasies and vulnerabilities are a great place to start whether you’re in a long-term relationship or you’ve just met."
Best Sex Card Game for Long-Term Couples
This deck includes both emotional and sexual questions, but users note that the vast majority of the prompts are sexual and romantic. Reviewers love the game for its ability to start new conversations and reinvigorate date nights.
Best Sex Card Game for Group Sex
Dr. O'Reilly recommends this game for new couples or for those interested in playing sex card games in a group setting, where you might "want to ease the tension and enjoy the ride." She adds,"This one is a great option if you’re down for a good time."
Best Sex Challenge Sex Card Game
Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and sexpert for Loverssays that this game is perfect for long-term couples who "have been in a rut, explaining that "it helps you to have sexual goals." The pack contains a month's worth of sexual activities, boasts rave reviews, and, in Stewart's words, "it helps you to look forward to something each and every day!"
Best Sex Card Game for Beginners
"If you want a game that will help you to push the boundaries and experience new sensations with lots of variety, consider the Dirty Deeds," says Dr. O'Reilly. Rowntree also stands by this game, saying that it's perfect for sex game beginners and for those who "want to try something a little kinkier but don’t want to overwhelm."
Best Sex Card Game for Spicier Sex
Dr. O'Reilly also recommends this unique game, which challenges you to try different sex positions based on thoughtful, Tantric sex. "It encourages you to slow down, set the mood and be in the moment," she attests.
Best Sex Card Game for Foreplay
This game has a near-perfect online rating. It takes Truth or Dare—that popular game we all once played at slumber parties—and adds a sexy spin. Every single card, include the "truth" bunch, is meant to set an erotic mood and inspire physical touch. Several reviewers write that the prompts were so good, they were only able to get through a few before they couldn't help but get down to business.
Best Oral Sex Card Game
In the words of Rowntree, this game is perfect if you're "really into oral" or if you're simply looking to explore it further. Reviewers love the game for how fun its prompts are and for how it successfully injects originality into this popular form of physical intimacy.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
"One of the main reasons why vibrators feel so good is because of electricity," explains Shamyra Howard, a Lovehoney sexologist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). "Every vibrator, no matter the size, operates with a motor inside. This allows our bodies to have different response signals to varying speeds, motions, and intensities. It is thought that vibrators feel so good because they transmit frequencies that we as humans are incapable of doing to some of the most sensitive areas of the body."
Personally, I used to think that vibrators were overrated, but when I learned more about the many styles and types of vibrators, I realized that this sex toy is far more versatile than many of us have given it credit for. Vibrators come in a variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and vibration options, and the sensations they can offer range from gentle to mind-blowingly intense.
With that in mind, I've spoken to a variety of sexperts to set the record straight about different types of vibrators, choosing the right one for you, and, of course, the very best vibrators on the market today.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the breadth of sex toy options, particularly if you're new to using vibrators and dildos. Remember that we all have to start somewhere and that the best toys for beginners are those that with simple operations and versatile options. Ahead, expert-approved options that are easy to use and non-intimidating to behold.
Best Vibrator for Beginners
Howard specifically recommends this bullet vibrator as an ideal sex toy for beginners—especially those who are new to vibrators. It’s made to be non-intimidating, with quiet vibrations and a petite size. The toy also boasts three vibration intensities and seven rhythms, each of which is designed to provide customizable, on-point external pleasure to the clitoris. Howard adds, "It’s cute, portable, packed with power, and has three different intensities for direct clitoral stimulation." And if you like using your bath time for pleasure, this toy has got you covered—it’s completely submersible.
Pros: Portable; Affordable; Quiet; Expert-approved; Free of latex and phthalates
Cons: Not as suited for those who wanted stronger vibrations
Specs: Three vibration intensities and seven rhythms; AAA battery-powered; Submersible; Made of plastic
Customer Review: "It has a good variety of vibration strengths and patterns that allow for a great buildup. This was the first sex toy I’ve used and it’s great, especially for a beginner like me!" -Lovehoney
Best Mini Vibrator
Wand vibrators are great for beginners, and have been made famous by television shows like Sex and the City, which extolled these toys’ ability to bring tremendous pleasure to people with vaginas via external stimulation. "Another excellent vibrator for beginners is the Deluxe Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand Vibe," agrees Howard. "This one also comes with various intensity levels and can be used on different body areas." To be specific, it features seven vibration patterns and ten intensity levels, and it has a run time of 60 minutes.
Pros: Versatile; Portable; Expert-approved
Cons: Not very quiet; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Seven vibration patterns and 10 intensity levels; 60-minute battery life; Splashproof; Made of silicone
Customer Review: "As a transgender woman I was advised to get one of those and I'm so glad I got this. It's the best thing to date." -Lovehoney
Howard often tells beginners to use a bullet vibrator as a means of gently exploring vibrational pleasure for the first time, explaining that the model is "easily accessible, inexpensive, and provides fantastic clitoral stimulation. Bullet vibrators can also be used on other erogenous areas."
Best Quiet Vibrator
Somatic psychotherapist, sex therapist, and marriage and family therapist Dr. Holly Richmond says, "I tell my clients the FemmeFun Ultra Bullet packs the most bang for the buck and size. It looks like a tiny purple flashlight with a hot pink on/off button, and has 20 different powerful vibration modes. It's perfect for travel, especially if noise is a consideration as well. It’s whisper quiet, so vibe away no matter where you are." Made from soft silicone, it's also fully waterproof—perfect for fun in the tub or shower and for easy washing.
Pros: quiet; portable; suitable for beginners and advanced users; expert-approved
Cons: needs frequent charging; made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 20 vibration modes; Three-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Powerful for the size and various fun settings. Yet small enough to be discretely slipped into a purse and comes with a classy cloth bag. Smooth silicone. The on/off settings button is placed on the end, not on the side, which prevents it from being accidentally pushed during use. Sturdy and flexible. Quiet enough to be used without detection from another room (such as a hotel room). The USB charger is the magnetic kind—easy attachment. Battery seems to last quite a while too." -Amazon
Best Non-Intimidating Vibrator
Unique, beginner-friendly Emojibator aims to make sex toys fun and accessible to all people, regardless of their experience level, by making toys in funny, cheeky shapes like eggplants, chickens, and more. Plus, they’re effective (this one features 10 distinct vibration settings), culminating in what Fretz calls "a unique orgasm experience." In a review, one customer raves that this is their first sex toy ever, and that they're already "obsessed." Get it in this popular eggplant shape, or in one of its other incarnations: the banana, the cherry, the cherry, the pickle, the chili pepper, or the strawberry. Each one is made from medical-grade silicone and is a guaranteed good time.
Pros: Suitable for beginners; Quiet; Expert-approved
Cons: Not as suited for beginners or those who want a more complex experience; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 10 vibration settings; AAA battery-powered; Made from silicone; Waterproof
Customer Review: "First toy ever, I'm OBSESSED!!!!! Really good material, super quiet, strong vibration." -Emojibator
Wondering what type of vibrator is best for exploring erogenous zones beyond your clitoris, vagina, and anus? Consider the wand vibrator. Howard says, "If you’d like a vibe that can be used for clitoral stimulation and to explore erogenous zones such as nipples, behind the knees, ankles, the labia, and more, then a wand will be your toy of choice."
Best Classic Wand Vibrator
"One tool reigns supreme when it comes to tried-and-true results, and that's the Hitachi Magic Wand," says Dr. Lindsay Byron, a Women's Studies Scholar and the mind behind Dr. Lux ATL, of this legendary toy. "This personal massager covers a larger surface than your average disco stick, and demands more power than a battery can deliver. If it plugs into the wall, you're gonna have a ball—and that's why I'm in a long-term relationship with this consistent and intense vibrator." Indeed, this is the model that started the worldwide wand vibrator craze.
Pros: Tried-and-true; Versatile; Suited for all experience levels; Great for partner play; Expert-approved
Cons: Expensive; Not very quiet; Head is made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Eight vibration modes, four intensities, and four vibration patterns; Three-hour battery life; Neither waterproof nor splashproof; Silicone head
Customer Review: "The wand is a must-have for every woman. No joke. If you don't already own one, what the hell are you waiting for?!" -Amazon
Best Affordable Wand Vibrator
This wand vibrator is a top pick for Christine DeLozier, author of Diet for Great Sex: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health. She says, "You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars to get the job done! People love this affordable wand vibrator with many unique vibration patterns. For its small price tag, it’s very powerful. The material is also comfortable, soft, and easy to clean." Plus, it’s customizable, with 20 vibration patterns and eight speeds, making it perfect for novices and experienced users alike.
Pros: Affordable; High-powered; Easy to clean; Expert-approved
Cons: Needs to be charged frequently; Head is made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 20 vibration patterns and eight speeds; Two-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "My bedroom's new best friend." -Amazon
Ah, the mysterious g-spot. Women who orgasm from penetrative sex are usually triggered by stimulation to this elusive area—a preference that may call for a g-spot vibrator or other penetrative toy.
Not sure where the g-spot is, exactly? You're not the only one, so Howard is here to explain: "The g-spot is said to be a sensitive area located at least two to three inches inside the vagina," she says. "One way to stimulate the area is by using a finger in the 'come here' motion. New theories suggest that the g-spot is actually a part of the internal clitoris. Some people report intense orgasms when this area is stimulated. A better way to stimulate the g-spot is by using a g-spot vibrator."
Best Curved G-Spot Vibrator
Howard recommends this fully waterproof, soft silicone vibrator for those who enjoy g-spot stimulation (AKA penetration), saying, "This vibrator provides direct g-spot stimulation for increased arousal and intense orgasms." It features eight vibration modes and 12 intensity speeds as well, so you can customize your pleasure experience. Its unique curved shape is designed to hit just the right spot, and reviewers rave about how easy it is to use, how comfortable it is to hold, and how much pleasure it brings.
Pros: Curved shape for direct g-spot stimulation; Long battery life; Expert-approved; Waterproof, Flexible; Free of latex and phthalates
Cons: Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Eight vibration modes and 12 intensities; 80-minute battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "This is the absolute best vibrator my wife and I have ever used! I ordered it because the reviews said that there have been more reports of women squirting with this vibrator than any other on the market. And the reviews were absolutely correct! It came in the mail on Valentine's Day. We used it that night and my wife squirted for the first time in her life, and we've been trying for years to do this. Its design is perfect to hit a woman's g-spot and my wife said she's never felt anything like that before" -Lovehoney
Best Ribbed G-Spot Vibrator
Many people with vaginas enjoy g-spot stimulation because they are too sensitive for clitoral stimulation—a preference that Howard says calls for a "classic internal vibrator" like this one from Lovehoney. Plus, this particular model offers a ribbed texture—and anyone who’s ever used a ribbed condom knows that the extra friction can be highly stimulating, potentially leading to a quicker, more intense orgasm. The vibrator also features seven vibration functions, four patterns, is completely waterproof, and offers six impressive inches of length.
Pros: Affordable; Ridged shape provides a unique sensation; Expert-approved; Free of latex and phthalates
Cons: Loud; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Three vibration speeds and four patterns; AA battery-powered; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "This is my first ever sex toy. I was a bit intimated at first, but with plenty lube and taking my time, this is mind blowing! It has 7 settings...The ribbed detail on the shaft makes the toy even more brilliant. I felt every wave. I would highly recommend it as a beginner's toy." -Lovehoney
The clitoris is the only known human organ whose sole purpose is physical pleasure, so why not celebrate it? The following types of vibrators are designed specifically for women who prefer clitoral stimulation. They use innovative means like rumbling, suction, air puffs, and traditional vibrations to incite pleasure.
Best Luxury Vibrator
Polly Rodriguez, founder of sexual wellness company Unbound, says, "This waterproof toy is designed to provide touchless stimulation of the clitoris using pulsating pleasure waves that feel both gentle and powerful. There's really nothing else like it. The interchangeable suction heads are made of soft, hygienic silicone and you can easily switch between eight levels of intensity.” And the toy’s efficacy is backed by testing, too. Rodriguez adds, “Studies showed that women using this vibrator were able to achieve orgasm, on average, in less than two minutes."
Pros: Customizable; Good for all experience levels; Waterproof; Expert-approved
Cons: Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 12 intensity levels; Waterproof; Four-hour battery life; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "An absolute must-have for all women who climax from clitoral stimulation." -Womanizer
Best Internet Famous Vibrator
This aesthetically pleasing vibrator consistently ranks as a best seller across multiple sex toy sites (thanks, in part, to it going viral on TikTok several times over), providing both traditional rumble vibrations as well as air and suction settings. It’s gone viral multiple times over for its sweet, feminine look and its incredible efficacy, boasting three intensities and several patterns. While not waterproof, it is splashproof, and it can easily be charged with a magnetic, USB-powered charging base. Reviewers swear by this toy, with one attesting, "I was done in under a minute."
Pros: Gentle; Good for all experience levels; Customizable; Expert-approved
Cons: Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Three vibration intensities and seven patterns; Splashproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Powerful and fun. Great vibration variety for both intensity and patterns. I like how once it's on, the button lights up so it's easy to find and press to change it." -Babeland
Oral sex is an extremely specific sensation, and sometimes the feeling of sucking, blowing, or tongue-like strokes is precisely what one craves when indulging in some sexy time. As a result, a number of vibrators are made to mimic that feeling, and we've uncovered some of the very best.
Best Suction Vibrator
Sex and relationship therapist Tammy Nelson specifically recommends this product, explaining that "its outer ring rests against your anatomy to create a rhythmic sucking sensation with five intensity settings that allow you to choose the right amount of suction to get you to the place you want to be. It has not failed any users yet, and I recommend it to all of my female-bodied clients." It’s also waterproof, USB rechargeable, and made with comfort in mind for those with female anatomy.
Pros: Waterproof; Made with medical-grade silicone; Different suction settings; Expert-approved
Cons: Not suited for those who want very intense stimulation; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Five speeds; Two to three-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Let's just say I was done in under a minute. I highly recommend. It is great for personal use, or for partner play." -Babeland
Best Gentle Vibrator
Laurie Mintz, a sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex, highly recommends this toy, which has twelve different vibration patterns. In addition to masterfully mimicking the feeling of oral sex, which she calls "the ultimate pleasure for many women," it also "has a very comfortable, smooth nub that moves up and down, rotates, and vibrates. And you can change the speed and intensity of the 'oral sex' you are giving yourself—all without having to tell a partner to do so!"
Pros: Customizable settings; Great for beginners; Expert-approved
Cons: Not as suited for those who want more intense stimulation; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 12 vibration patterns; Approximate one-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Takes a bit of practice and a couple tries to find the sweet spot(s), but once you find it there’s no going back. Love this thing!!" -Amazon
It is, of course, possible to want both clitoral and g-spot stimulation at the same time, which can be difficult to maneuver if you're stimulating yourself sans partner or if you have a toy geared only for one from of pleasure. But never fear: There are products made specifically for dual stimulation, the best of which we've gathered below. A keyword to look out for when shopping for dual-stimulation toys is "rabbit vibrators," which Howard says are perfect for when you're looking to have it both ways.
Best Affordable Rabbit VIbrator
I'm a big fan of plusOne's products, and so, evidently, is sex expert Kit Richardson, who recommends this toy for those who want to be "confident that your purchase will leave you satisfied and won’t make your bank account cry. Rechargeable, waterproof, and silky-smooth body-safe silicone ensures your pleasure play is a five star experience. With its bulbous and curved internal arm and strong vibrating clitoral arm the plusOne Dual Vibrating Massager is ideal for those looking for a fuller sensation internally while receiving a strong vibration externally." It has 10 different vibration modes—perfect for exploration and customization.
Pros: strong; affordable; waterproof; expert-approved
Cons: may not be suited for beginners or those who are physically very sensitive; made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 10 vibration modes; Three-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "I’ve purchased a few different ones— this is by FAR and away my favorite. Great battery life. Soft outside— easy to clean. The different settings keep things exciting." -Amazon
Best Vibrator with a Long Handle
Sex educator and Lovehoney sex expert Javay Frye-Nekrasova says, "The We-Vibe Nova 2 is a great rabbit vibrator for beginners, advanced users, and partner play. The adjustable arm's flexibility allows for people to adjust it as they need regardless of experience level. The handle length allows for partners to take control of the toy and use it on their partner." It features 12 intensity levels and more than 10 unique vibration modes, has flexible arms designed for comfort, and is completely waterproof.
Pros: works well for both solo and partner play; works for remote play; long handle; expert-approved
Cons: expensive; made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 10 vibration modes and 12 intensity levels; Two-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Bought this on a whim for use with a long distance boyfriend. Oh boy. Was not at all prepared for just how good it is." -Lovehoney
Just because you have a pal in bed with you, doesn't mean you need to abandon your toys. In fact, there are countless toys made specifically for partner play. They're perfect for adding variation and additional stimulation to your sexual repertoire, and may also be just the ticket for spicing up a relationship.
Best Vibrating Cock Ring
Sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez says that this product, which is designed to wrap around a penis, simultaneously pleasuring the shaft of the penis for one partner and the clitoris (or rectum) of the other during penetration. Colloquially known as a cock ring, it can also be used during anal sex or during solo masturbation for those with penises. Dr. Chavez adds that this option is suited "for any couple who wants to start with a product that is small and simple,” adding that "the vibrator has seven vibration patterns, and its discreet look that will make each person more comfortable introducing toys into their bedroom."
Pros: Long-lasting; High-quality; Long battery life; USB rechargeable; Expert-approved
Cons: Limited to penis-vagina sex; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Seven vibration settings; Two-hour battery life; Splashproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "The silicone is very good quality, easy clean up, and being rechargeable is a big plus!" -Amazon
Best Hands-Free Vibrator
"Take note that this is the first hands-free, strap-free, non-intrusive couples vibrator," says Polly Rodriguez. "Eva is made of the smoothest silicone, with flexible wings that fit snugly under a woman's labia majora, making it possible to experience clitoral stimulation during sex or while playing solo." It’s completely waterproof, making it a great way to facilitate easier bathtub or shower sex, and it’s made from soft, comfortable silicone with a lightweight feel that prevents soreness after extended play. It comes in four colors, including this chic lavender option.
Pros: Works with penis-vagina and vagina-vagina sex; Easy to use; Works for masturbation; Expert-approved
Cons: Expensive; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Three intensity levels; Four-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "I was very surprised at how much I liked this vibe! It's easy to wear both with and without penetration. The three speeds are great...I particularly loved being able to orgasm more easily in missionary." -Dame Products
Technology really can be a wonderful thing, and in the case of sex toys, it can be a gamechanger, injecting playfulness into a routine or maintaining a sense of intimacy between long-distance partners.
"Remote-controlled vibrators are often made for clitoral stimulation and work really well with a partner controlling the motions," Howard agrees. "Several app-control vibrators work well on dates and for people in long-distance relationships."
Best Remote-Controlled Rabbit Vibrator
Claire Cavanah, co-founder of major sex toy retailer Babeland, cites this as one of the platform's most popular vibrators for couples, explaining that it "can be worn during sex, is more flexible and powerful, and can be operated with an app that also works remotely.” She clarifies, “That means your partner can control your vibrator even when you're far apart." It’s also waterproof, has a battery life of 120 minutes, is USB rechargeable, and has 10 delightful levels of intensity.
Pros: Provides dual stimulation; Works for solo and partner play; Works long-distance; Expert-approved
Cons: Expensive; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 10 intensity levels; Two-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "We really enjoy this one! Quality product that fits and functions perfectly. Vibration are plenty strong and patterns feels great." -Lovehoney
Best Light-Up Vibrator
Ohmibod co-founder and creator of the original music vibrator Suki Dunham stands behind this novel product. She explains, "The wearable Bluetooth App-controlled vibrator is perfect for remote play whether you are across the room or across the country. Esca 2's integrated LED lights up and corresponds to the vibrations, letting your partner see exactly what kind of good vibrations they are sending your way." It also has multiple vibration settings, including a “Club Vibe” mode that syncs vibrations to the music of your choice.
Pros: Works long-distance; Expert-approved
Cons: Some users report connectivity issues and short battery life; Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Four vibration settings; Two- to three-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "My wife loves the custom options to change the vibration." -Adam & Eve
Sexual pleasure is an important part of many people's lives, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to ensure you have the tools you need to feel good when you're on the go. Here, we've gathered some of the best products for when you have to keep your bag light and your sex toys subtle—because it's not always feasible to carry around a 6-inch silicone toy.
Best Wearable Vibrator
This sleek, no-nonsense vibrator is based on a novel concept: A sex toy that you can take with you and wear around, right out in the open. Personally, it's one of my favorite accessories, and I get compliments every time I wear it. Plus, it doesn’t look like a vibrator in an in-your-face sort of way, and matches with just about any outfit—whether you opt for the silver, gold, or rose gold colorways. In terms of use as a vibrator, it features intense, no-frills vibration settings, with four speeds and two modes, and is a breeze to clean.
Pros: can be worn daily; subtle; fashionable; editor-approved; works with all types of lubricant; easy to clean and use
Cons: none found
Specs: Four vibration speeds and two settings; 90-minute battery life; Water-resistant but not submersible; Made from stainless steel
Customer Review: "Perfect for travel. Very powerful vibrations with 4 different settings! Totally worth the money!" -Ulta
Best Discreet Vibrator
Sexologist Dr. Jill McDevitt loves this bullet vibrator, which is waterproof and has eight distinct vibration functions. She says, "It easily passes for a lipstick you can keep in your purse or makeup bag. Plus it's powerful and functional, so you can actually use and enjoy it. I like to recommend this one to clients in need of something discreet and private." If you travel a lot for work, it’s the perfect addition to your toiletry bag. And if your carry-on gets searched by TSA at the airport, you won’t have to worry about a thing—they’ll never know the difference.
Pros: Subtle; Affordable; Expert-approved
Cons: Only good for those who prefer pinpointed, external stimulation
Specs: 10 vibration settings; Two-hour battery life; Waterproof; Silicone tip
Customer Review: "I like this product cause it has many vibration options and it is actually the size of a lipstick tube, which is awesome and discreet" -Babeland
If you haven't given anal sex toys a chance yet, you could be missing out on a world of pleasure. It is, however, important to educate oneself about anal stimulation, acquire the proper lube, and start slow before jumping in.
"When it comes to anal stimulation, it’s always important to only use vibrators specifically designed for anal stimulation," Howard adds. "Anal vibrators will always have a flared base to prevent them from getting lost in the anus. Beginners would love the Rocks Off Teazer Petite Sensations Vibrating Butt Plug."
Best Customizable Anal Vibrator
"For anal stimulation, you can’t go wrong with a vibrating butt plug," says Howard. "Like all vibrators, these also have varying intensities and levels, which is why we recommend this option from We-Vibe, which has 15 vibrating patterns and six levels of intensity." It also comes with a wireless remote control that can be used from up to 30 feet away, making this option perfect for both easy solo masturbation as well as partner play. While it’s great for all experience levels, it’s made with beginners in mind.
Pros: Suitable for all experience levels; Customizable; Expert-approved; Free of latex and phthalates
Cons: Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: 15 vibration patterns and six intensity levels; One-hour battery life; Waterproof; Made from silicone
Customer Review: "Got this for my girlfriend and she fell in love with it almost instantly. It takes a little study to learn how to use its adjustable power settings and numerous types of vibration. The remote control makes the introduction to the plug and experimentation with it a delight." -Amazon
Best Anal Vibrator for All Experience Level
Howard says that beginners "would love" this toy specifically, which is no surprise considering its thin, tapered tip that makes for easy insertion its flexible shaft that adjusts to the user’s body and preferences. Reviewers write that its vibrations are powerful, that it's easy to clean, and that it's great for all experience levels, from beginners to veteran users. Completely waterproof, four insertable inches long, and made from soft, body-safe silicone, the vibrator features seven increasing speeds designed to stimulate that sweet spot.
Pros: Easy to clean; Great for all experience levels; Customizable; Affordable; Quiet; Expert-approved
Cons: Some customers find it difficult to switch vibration patterns during use (is not remote-controlled, so users need to reach around); Made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Specs: Seven vibration speeds; Waterproof; N battery-powered (batteries included); Made from silicone
Customer Review: "I would definitely recommend this product for anyone who’s begging to dabble in anal play! It’s super easy to use, quiet, and effective!" -Lovehoney
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
If you're unsure how to use a vibrator, there are a number of sex toys designed for beginners. Plus, countless resources are available online, from the instruction manual that comes with your toy to thorough online guides by brands like Smile Makers and Lovehoney. Howard reminds us that not all vibrators are built the same, and different types have different purposes. Thus, it's important to take note of whether your vibrator is meant to be used on external or internal genitalia, on the anus or on the vagina, and so on.
Plus, one should always be stimulated and properly lubricated before using any toy. Howard points out that vibrators won't feel good if the user isn't already aroused, and explains, "The more aroused you are, the better the vibrator feels." So before you start using your toy, try stimulating yourself with your hands or watching something titillating, and consider adding some lube to the mix to ensure your vibrator experience is safe and comfortable.
There is some room for creativity, though. "They can be used for various reasons and on other body parts," she says. "That’s right: Vibrators are not just for use on the genitals."
So, once you're comfortable with how to use your vibrator the traditional way, see how it feels on other erogenous zones, like the nipples, base of your neck, or back of your knee.
Sexual pleasure is an incredibly personal, subjective experience, so selecting the right vibrator should be one, too. "The materials and shape of the vibrator are often the most influential factors in how vibrators impact everyone differently," says Kris Fretz, co-founder of sex toy brand Emojibator. "Personally, I’m more sensitive to the vibrator’s texture vs. intensity, so I look for toys that are made with medical-grade silicone so they are safe for bodily insertion."
In that vein, it's important to take note of what toys are made of when buying them. Silicone toys, for instance, should never be used with silicone lube, or they'll break down. And while sex toys can get pricey, Howard says that buying a high-quality option is well worth it.
"Since vibrators are used in one of the body's most sensitive areas, it’s essential to only use body-safe toys," she says.
Fretz also adds that one should consider how and for how long a toy will be used when looking at what it's made of, warning, "A toy can be made with other materials such as metal, and in those cases it’s important to not overuse the toy beyond the recommended usage time and spare your most sensitive areas from burning up."
Once you know what materials you're selecting and the type of stimulation you're going for, Fretz recommends staying open-minded. After all, the world of sex toys is characterized by constant innovation.
"While the vibrator industry began with rabbits and phallic-shaped dildos, our society has advanced so much further than these rigid ideas of what vibrators should look like," elaborates Fretz. "I encourage all shoppers to feel confident that they can experience great orgasms from any shaped vibrator that is made with safe materials. This freedom to explore makes sex toys more inclusive to the queer and sexual trauma communities who don’t feel represented in the mainstream sex toy industry."
Keep scrolling for a low-down on the different categories of vibrators meant to cater to all sexual preferences, along with products that are notorious for their good vibes.
Everybody has to start somewhere, and for those who have never used a vibrator before, it's important to start slow and focus on exploration. The sex toys for beginners below have been vetted by sexperts and are wildly popular with customers, so that you can ease your way into vibrator play and learn what works best for you.
Every vibrator on this list has been hand-chosen by Marie Claire'sBeauty Writer, Gabrielle Ulubay, or has been recommended by a sex expert, such as a gynecologist, sex therapist, pelvic floor specialist, or other professional with verified, substantial experience in the sexual wellness field. Every single product is made from body-safe, high-quality material, has been rigorously tested for safety, is made by a well-established brand, is sold by reputable vendors, and has been tested by our editor, sex experts, or reviewers to guarantee efficacy. The best vibrator(s) for you depends on your anatomy, sexuality, and preferences, all of which we've taken into account when compiling this list.
But how do you go about finding a sex toy if you've never shopped for one before? Rachel Wright, a licensed psychotherapist and sexpert for Zumio, breaks down the process of getting started into a few simple steps: "Number one," she begins, "start with lube. Lube is the best first sex toy because it enhances every sexual experience we have — whether that's with our hands, other body parts, or a toy." And if you've never bought or used lube before, check out our guide to the best lubes and how to use them.
"Then," continues Wright, "once you find a lube you like, think about the physical sensations you like and find a toy that can do them in a faster/longer/more intense/slightly different way than a human can."
She adds that you don't need to "reinvent the wheel" or push yourself to try something new and adventurous. "When you're first starting out looking for a sex toy, don't reinvent the wheel. Start with what you know you like! Sex toys are meant to do things humans can't — so think of what you like with a human and find a sex toy that mimics that."
For instance, if you dislike penetration, you're probably better off with a bullet vibrator or wand vibrator than a dildo, g-spot vibrator, or rabbit vibrator. Meanwhile, if you know you like anal stimulation, an anal vibrator or anal toy in general (and a bottle of lube!) may be best for you. And if you've never been with another person sexually before, gently explore your body with your fingers and with the help of a lube that's right for you, and pay attention to what you like and what you fantasize about.
Finally, don't ever be ashamed of feeling aroused, wanting sex, or masturbating. Owning and using a sex toy isn't shameful. In fact, it's a powerful way of exercising your sexual agency and taking pleasure into your own hands (pun intended)!
"There is so much stigma and misinformation about sex toys out there," admits Wright. "Some people think that they're a replacement for another person (they are not), that they'll make your bits go numb (they do not), and that they're somehow bad or deviant for wanting to use one (you're not!). Sex toys are meant to enhance your pleasure — think of them as pleasure aids."
If you still have questions about what sex toys are and how to use them, check out our guides on every type of vibrator, how to use each type of vibrator, how to use a dildo, and our sexual wellness section in general. And read on for some of the best, easiest-to-use toys for beginners, whether you're looking to explore clitoral stimulation, penetration, anal play, kink, partner play, or beyond.

Luna Rechargeable Vibrator Wand $35 $22 | Amazon
This quiet wand vibrator has a flexible head, is quiet, and is one of the top-selling sex toys on Amazon. And now, it's more affordable than ever before.View Deal

b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 Ultra-Comfortable 55-Gram Weighted Silicone Butt Plug $50 $46 | Amazon
This weighted butt plug is wearable, waterproof, easy to clean, and perfect for those interested in anal training or in trying out anal stimulation for the first time. View Deal

LELO Tiani 3 $127 $118 | Amazon
This remote-controlled sex toy is perfect for partner play, whether you're long-distance or just a few inches away from each other.View Deal
Did you know that less than 20 percent of people with vaginas achieve orgasm from penetrative sex alone? This means that, for most, people, clitoral stimulation is absolutely essential. Below, the best expert- and reviewer-approved toys for exploring this highly sensitive part of the body
Best Mini Vibrator for Beginners
"If you haven't tried a sex toy before," says Wright, "a wand is a really good place to start, if you know you like a bit more broad vibration/stimulation. I like to recommend the LeWand Petite to newbies because its size isn't intimidating, they come in pretty colors and yet they can pack a punch."
Pros: high-powered; lightweight (good for travel); six vibration patterns and 10 levels of intensity for easy customization; flexible head; free of latex and phthalates; has a travel lock
Cons: not waterproof; cannot be paired with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "It looks gorgeous—my wife could not resist using it as a microphone the moment it came out of the box. It's a lovely color, beautifully soft, and super simple to use. It works like a charm and I think this is the easiest toy for a man to use on a lady. It's also been used by her on me—with great success! Just five stars in every sense." -Lovehoney
Best Discreet Vibrator for Beginners
Several reviewers write that this wand vibrator is small, quiet, and discreet. One buyer adds that it's perfect for those who are new to sex toys, new to clitoral stimulation, or who are just plain sensitive "down there," pointing out that's it's effective without being too strong.
Pros: easy to clean; rechargeable; comes with a travel case; 20 vibration patterns and eight intensity levels; quiet
Cons: high-intensity settings can be noisier; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "The settings and vibration levels are CRAZY! I’ve spent (literally) 10 times this price on vibes in the past and this one is my all-time favorite. The head has some flexibility to it, but not much, which I love, and the surface area is also sufficient." -Amazon
Best Pinpointed Clitoral Vibrator for Beginners
"Zumio is a pleasure aid that's made for humans of all genders and ages — although its focus is on making clitoral stimulation and vulva mapping easy, fun, and pleasurable," says Wright. "It's easy to use, doesn't look phallic, and feels incredible if you like pinpointed stimulation."
Pros: expert-approved; easy to use; non-phallic; flexible head
Cons: some users find it difficult to switch between settings during use
Customer Review: "FINALLY! I found what I needed. I always knew that I wanted a smaller, more intense stimulation. This does exactly that." -Amazon
Best Palm-Sized Vibrator for Beginners
Wright also recommends this vibrator, explaining, "Dame Products is a woman-founded sex tech / sexual wellness company that prioritizes ethics, well-made toys, and their community. They survey and make toys based off of customer need, which you can tell when you use them. Pom is a palm vibrator and wonderful for all genders, although designed to fit perfectly on a vulva."
Pros: flexible; inclusive to all anatomy; expert-approved; five vibration patterns and five intensity levels
Cons: not as suitable for pinpointed stimulation; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "Seriously one of my favorites ever! Easy to pair with a second something internal or awesome just alone. Easy to use, easy to charge, easy to clean. Love the variations. Easily one of my favorite Sephora purchases this year." -Sephora
Although, as previously mentioned, many people with vaginas need direct clitoral stimulation of some sort in order to achieve orgasm, many still enjoy and are even able to orgasm from penetration. Whether you're interested in g-spot vibrators, dildos, or life-like phallic replicas, scroll on for some of the best beginner penetrative toys available online right now.
Best Rabbit Vibrator for Beginners
Sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova says that this rabbit vibrator is an excellent option for people of all experience levels, including beginners. She explains, "The adjustable arm's flexibility allows for people to adjust it as they need regardless of experience level."
Pros: expert-approved; flexible arm; waterproof; can be controlled via mobile app; 12 vibration patterns and 10 intensity levels
Cons: some users found vibrations weren't strong enough; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "I am no stranger to rabbit style vibrators. From the original rabbit to fifty shades greedy girl, there is scarcely a rabbit I have yet to try. While they all got me to the party, the We Vibe 2 is FAR AND AWAY the best toy out there and gives me the most intense, explosive orgasms I have ever experienced. I didn't even have time to find my favorite porn flick on my phone before my eyes were rolled back in my head and my body was convulsing with pleasure. It seems a little expensive but let me tell you, you will know where every penny went the first time you use it. Buy this NOW!!!!" -Amazon
Best Phallic Dildo for Beginners
Frye-Nekrasova says that this option is great for those who are just beginning to dabble in (or are curious about) dildo play. "The circumference is only 4 inches," she says, "and then you can move up as you feel comfortable and ready."
Pros: expert-approved; great size for beginners; strong suction cup; great for hands-free play; flexible but firm
Cons: some users which it vibrated; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Reviews: "Purchased for a little shower play with the girlfriend. Sucks very well to the tiled of the bathroom even when the shower is on, with the bit of flexibility at the bottom allowing you to adjust a little." -Lovehoney
Best Stainless Steel Dildo for Beginners
If you don't like phallic toys and prefer fingering and other types of penetration during sex, consider this high-end stainless steel toy, which Frye-Nekrasova recommends for those who "enjoy some types of penetration such as fingering or less girthy items."
Pros: great for those who don't enjoy intense penetration; easy to clean; expert-approved; non-phallic; great for temperature play; anal-safe
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The feel, weight and size was a massive turn on and led to an explosive orgasm." -Lovehoney
Best G-Spot Vibrator for Beginners
If you enjoy G-spot stimulation and G-spot vibrators, Frye-Nekrasova recommends this gem. She says, "The design allows you to stimulate the g-spot even if you aren't sure exactly where it is, because of the bulbous head design."
Pros: non-phallic; expert-approved; not too girthy; long battery life; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: some users find it difficult to clean; cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "I love the sleek, simple black design—it's very smooth and soft to the touch. The handle is just the right length when holding to get it exactly where it needs to be. Adore the fact that it only has 3 patterns—simple is definitely great for this! I was very surprised at how intense the vibrations are, with it being so small, and that the intensity of each pattern can be turned up by just pressing the button again." -Lovehoney
Anal stimulation can be extremely pleasurable for both men and women. Frye-Nekrasova reminds us, though, that when experimenting with anal play, be sure to use lots of lube (the rectum, unlike the vagina, does not self-lubricate), start small, and always use a toy that is meant for anal stimulation. The rectum is a lot like a vacuum, and will suck up anything that doesn't have a flared base, which can result in serious injury. And finally, to avoid putting yourself at risk of an infection, clean your toys and never put something on your clitoris or into your vagina after it's been in your rectum!
Best Anal Plug for Beginners
"If you're new to anal play or want to try masturbating or using other sex toys with anal stimulation, b-Vibe is the place to start," Wright recommends. "They have a line called snug plugs, that are designed to be worn and help with anal training, as well as during other sexual activities. I recommend starting with the 1 or 2, depending on your experience level."
Pros: expert-approved; easy to clean; wearable; waterproof
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "Comfortable, fun, and a great starting point for anal play! Make sure you're using water-based lube and go nuts!" -Amazon
Best Anal Kit for Beginners
The three plugs in this kit increase in length and width so that, if you're a beginner, you can ease your way into anal play without worrying about hurting yourself. A number of reviewers say that this kit was perfect for their beginner levels, noting that the toys allowed them to comfortably explore.
Pros: customizable; three toys for the price of one; easy to clean; waterproof
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "This little kit is amazing! Great for training and double penetration. Felt amazing having it in during sex with the hubs. Would definitely recommend to anyone looking to explore new things in the bedroom." -Bboutique
Best Customizable Anal Plug for Beginners
Reviewers are nuts about this anal toy, saying that it's the perfect size (it also comes in other larger sizes) and that its material is soft and comfortable. Plus, they say that its small and discreet enough to travel with!
Pros: easy to use; easy to clean; not too girthy; dicreet, waterproof; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: cannot be paired with silicone-base lube
Customer Review: "As a couple who is just getting into anal, this cone was a perfect size and not too intimidating." -Maude
Best Beginner Toy for Temperature Play
Butt plugs are always excellent options for those looking to start experimenting with anal stimulation, and this option by Njoy ensures high-quality and longevity. Plus, it comes in three different sizes. Reviewers say that it feels great when heated up (to a body-safe temperature, of course) or when it's cooled down in the fridge.
Pros: great for temperature play; easy to clean; long shelf life, easy to grip
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My partner had a HUGE orgasm (and a few more) first time using this plug. Been similar experiences since. The medium size seems just right for her - takes a little patience to insert but once in, it's secure. The shape is a lot of fun and she says adds immensely to the excitement." -Babeland
Introducing sex toys into the bedroom with your partner is a fantastic way of spicing up your relationship or your sex life in general, but it can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if it's a new practice for one or both of you. For detailed advice on how to broach the topic with your partner and find the best toy for you, check out our full guide on sex toys for partner play as well as our guide of vibrating panties. Otherwise, see below for some of the best and easiest to use toys to get started with, whether you're looking for a basic couples' vibrator, a remote toy, or you're interested in exploring kink.
Best Beginner Toy for Penetration
These toys are designed for heterosexual couples who are trying to ease their way into penetrative sex. The rings come in several different, flexible sizes, and are designed to stimulate the base of the penis while simultaneously shortening the amount of shaft exposed. In this way, it makes sex more comfortable for vagina-owners who have small vaginas, are not used to penetration, or are experiencing vaginal pain. Multiple reviewers say that this toy saved their sex lives with their partners and that it made penetration less anxiety-inducing and painful.
Pros: enhances sexual safety; manages level of penetration; skin-like feel; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My initial experience with Ohnuts was great and really helped my partner with the pain she was experiencing with penetration." -Ohnut
Best Kink Toy for Beginners
Multiple customers write that this toy was the perfect introduction to the world of kink play and partnered sex toy play. The tickler also has a short handle, so your partner can cuddle close to you while they use it.
Pros: great for foreplay; pain-free introduction to kink
Cons: some users wish the handle was longer
Customer Review: "Such a simple thing has added so much to our enjoyment of each other's bodies." -Lovehoney
Best Bondage Toy for Beginners
"If you want to dip your toys in bondage," says Frye-Nekrasova, "I always recommend furry cuffs as a starting point." This particular pair is, by reviewers' accounts, quite plush and comfortable. Plus, they come equipped with a quick-release lever so that the person being cuffed can feel as comfortable as possible.
Pros: expert-approved; comfortable; quick-release; safe
Cons: some users find them too easy to get out of during play
Customer Review: "Very strong handcuffs but soft on the wrists." -Lovehoney
Best Remote-Controlled Sex Toy for Beginners
This remote-controlled vibrator is designed to be inserted into the vagina and stimulate both partners during vagina-vagina intercourse or penis-vagina intercourse via strong, customizable vibrations. Multiple reviewers rave about the quality of this toy and say it's the perfect vibrator for partners who are just beginning to introduce toys to their sexual repertoire.
Pros: great for long distance; anatomy-inclusive
Cons: can't be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I really like this. It has strong vibrations but the frequency isn't too high. It has a nice smooth soft texture. It isn't too loud, in fact it is quiet enough to use in public if that's your thing. It holds a charge for a good 3 or more hours of continuous use. I had no problems pairing it with the remote, which works from at least 30 feet away. It stays in place quite well. My husband thought it was quite pleasing too. Overall it's an excellent 'marital aid' at a great price." -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
However, perusing Amazon's sex toy selection quickly becomes overwhelming due to the sheer number of options available on the site. For that reason, I've scoured Amazon reviews for the all-time best, safest, and most fun options they carry. I've also tapped a few experts, who contributed some of their must-have toys.
The best part? All of these can be delivered straight to your door.

Rekink 18" Real Riding Crop with Genuine Leather English Top $13 $11 | Amazon
If you're a beginner to spanking, consider this riding crop, which is made from soft, genuine leather.View Deal
Vibrators are among the most popular sex toys of all time, and there are a slew of different types. From wand vibrators to G-spot vibrators to bullet vibrators to rabbit vibrators, Amazon carries them all. If you're a big fan of this sex toy and you're an Amazon devotee, check out our more extensive list of the best vibrators on Amazon. And if you have questions about how to use this iconic type of toy, check out our guide on how to use each kind of vibrator.

Women's Studies scholar Dr. Lindsay Byron says that this toy "reigns supreme when it comes to tried and true results,” adding that it "covers a larger surface than your average disco stick, and demands more power than a battery can deliver." Developed in the wake of the women’s liberation movement and popularized in an episode Sex and the City, it’s the first toy of its kind. While traditionally connected to a wire, it now also has mini and rechargeable versions.
Pros: enduring popularity; sexpert-approved; high-powered
Cons: attached to a wire
Customer Review: "If you’re not used to watching your girl get herself off I’m telling you now put your ego aside. This thing creates intense orgasms for her and once you witness something like this for the first time you may be feeling some type of way about it afterwards." -Amazon

Womanizer is known for its patented Pleasure Air technology, which both simulates oral sex and creates a unique, unprecedentedly pleasurable sensation that mimics the feeling of receiving oral sex. Sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova says of the Womanizer collection: "Nothing is more luxurious or leads to more exceptional levels of pleasure." Built to last long and boasting 14 intensity levels, 10 vibration patterns, and two stimulating heads for dual pleasure, it’s the perfect addition to any vagina owner’s sex toy collection
Pros: sexpert-approved; mimics oral sex; many functions
Cons: made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Throw away all of your other toys, and be ready to be ruined. Best O ever." -Amazon

Who doesn't love some spicy jewelry? Not only is the Crave Vesper a fully functional vibrator that packs a punch (it has four different, easy to use vibration patterns that reviewers of all experience levels love), but it's also a sleek, conversation-starting necklace. I love wearing my Vesper around—it matches with everything, and it's a great way to take flirting to the next level on date night. I’ve written at length about how much I love my Vesper, and how it’s the ultimate feminist accessory.
Pros: editor-approved; compatible with all lube types; multiple intensities; wearable; fashionable; long battery life
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "This vibrator is fun because you can wear it as a pendant (hangs pretty low) and no one will really know what it is...It actually packs a pretty intense vibration for the size and the fact that the entire outer shell is stainless, that vibration transfers very effectively." -Amazon

For those who enjoy g-spot stimulation and prefer grinding over direct clitoral stimulation, this is an impeccable option. Reviewers agree that it's perfect for women who enjoy being on top during heterosexual partnered sex, because it perfectly mimics the angle of penetration one experiences while riding. It also features seven vibration functions, three vibration speeds, and a 60 minute battery life. And if you love hands-free play, never fear—the toy is fully remote controllable.
Pros: mimics girl-on-top sex; realistic feel; versatile; multiple functions
Cons: not waterproof
Customer Review: "If you’re an “on top” kinda girl this is for you." -Amazon
Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, and can be used for either anal or vaginal play (depending on the dildo, of course). However, since these toys are meant to be inserted into one's body, it's extremely important to choose options that are made of the best, safest, and most comfortable size and material. Read on for a few of our favorites on Amazon, and check out our full guide to the all-time best dildos. And remember to use lots of lube!

This is one of the most highly rated dildos on Amazon, and it's an absolute bargain. Its colorful design means it's made with exhibitionists in mind, or at the very least for those who like to inject a bit of fun into their sexual repertoire. Many reviewers write that its high-quality silicone material strikes the perfect balance between soft and firm. However, at a little over seven inches long, it’s best to reserve this toy for more advanced play and to ensure it’s paired with lots of lube.
Pros: waterproof; highly rated; soft, realistic feel
Cons: silicone, so it cannot be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Oh my LAWD. This is a must buy!! I came 3 times back to back and I stopped to write this but I’m about to go back for some more!" -Amazon

This dildo is a whopping 7.9 inches, so be sure that you're prepared before use and that you have plenty of lube on hand. Customers are astounded at what a value this toy is, writing that the price "can't be beat," especially considering the toy's realistic feel, strong suction cup, and firm feel. It’s made from silicone, which is body-safe and feels luxurious, but cannot be paired with silicone lubes (or else the toy itself can degrade).
Pros: soft, realistic feel; affordable; strong suction cup
Cons: silicone, so cannot be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "It’s pretty realistic and feels amazing. Soft silicone, not hard or plastic—it even bends a little." -Amazon

For those who don't want a realistic looking or feeling dildo, consider a fantasy, glass, or metal dildo. This one, for instance, is highly rated on Amazon and features an adorable pink moon at the end that's perfect for easier gripping. Reviewers say that it's effective and that it can easily be cleaned with sex toy cleaner or by soaking in boiling water. Plus, because it’s made from glass, it can be popped in the refrigerator or (carefully) heated before use for temperature play.
Pros: can be paired with all types of lube; ergonomic grip; good for temperature play
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Very nice, decent weight and good size. Can be cleaned in boiling water without any issues. Very pretty design! One of the best glass dildos I’ve bought -even better than some $100+ glass toys!" -Amazon

This dildo, which comes with lube and a handy remote control, heats up to your preferred temperature so that you can enjoy a more comfortable, customized sensation. Plus, many verified customers rave that its detailed, ridge-filled shaft feels very realistic. At nearly nine inches long with an automatic thrusting length of 6.2 inches, it’s best suited for experienced users, and features three thrusting modes, five vibration modes, and a high-powered motor. It even has a heated mode, so you can experiment with temperature play while you're at it.
Pros: remote controllable; vibrating; comes with lube; strong suction cup for hand-free play; realistic feel
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Definitely didn’t kno what I was in for when I bought it I mean I read the description but once you get in your hands with that remote!well made product feels amazing to to touch and very powerful vibration and thrusting." -Amazon
Anal stimulation can be pleasurable for people of all genders, and anal toys can come in the form of both vibrators and dildos. It's important, though, to be sure that toys are made for anal stimulation before you use them. Frye-Nekrasova reminds us that, since the rectum is like a vacuum, anal toys have flared bases in order to ensure that they don't get sucked into the body.
Below, some of our favorite anal toys on Amazon. And if you're an anal aficionado or anal curious, check out our list of the best anal toys and our guide to the best lubes money can buy.

This anal plug set is the number one bestseller on Amazon in anal plugs, and with good reason. It’s designed for beginners who are looking to work their way up to girthier types of anal toys at their own pace, and is equipped with four soft plugs of varying sizes as well as a dilator. Reviewers love the soft, high-quality silicone that these toys are made of, and multiple people rave that the attractive gift box the set comes in makes it great for gifting.
Pros: highly rated; soft silicone; great for all experience levels; several toys for the price of one
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "The feel of the toys is great and the smaller sizes are perfect starters. The shape of the toys feels amazing. It was my experience that the difference between the largest plug and the size down felt fairly large. Having the set is great though whenever I decide to play because I can always start small and work my way up. Additionally the suction cup feature works great in the shower." -Amazon

The dual motors on this toy mean it's great for sensual, intense play, whether alone or with a partner. Customers write that they love using it in the shower (it's waterproof, don’t worry) and say that its slight girth makes it perfect for beginners. And with three types of 360 degree rotation modes and ten different vibration intensities, you can rest assured that there’s something in this toy for everyone, no matter their experience level. It’s also suitable for g-spot stimulation—just be sure that you pick which part of the body you’d like to use it on, and keep your anal toys separate from your g-spot toys.
Pros: remote controllable; varying rotation and vibration modes; good for g-spot and p-spot stimulation
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "First of all, the texture of this product is great. It's extremely soft, so it doesn't take as much lubricant as a glass or metal toy. Very easy to use, and the handle on the base makes it easy to guide with your hand. The remote works well and is very responsive, and the motion and vibration settings both work well too." -Amazon

Njoy is a fan favorite for its high quality, metal toys, and this butt plug is among them. If you're interested in temperature play, the toy effectively holds both cold and heat for extended periods of time, and many reviewers make a point of saying that the longevity and quality of this product make it more than worth its price. Because of its material, it’s also waterproof and compatible with all types of lube, from water-based to oil-based to silicone.
Pros: compatible with all types of lube; great for temperature play; highly rated
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "I can't say enough good things...If this something you have been hesitant to buy, stop waiting and buy it. Find the size that matches you and don't look back. My only regret was waiting soooo long before making the investment. The junk toys I have bought in between would have bought 3-4 Njoy products, and these will outlast me." -Amazon

This is the number one bestselling set of anal beads on Amazon. The toy can be used as a standard, non-vibrating set of anal beads, while the vibrator attachment has 16 different vibration modes of varying patterns and intensities, from gentle to intense, so that people of all experience levels can keep this toy in their collection for years to come. Reviewers especially love that the vibrator attachment can be removed, just in case vibrations aren't your thing and you prefer the beads by themselves.
Pros: removable vibrator head with varying intensity levels; good for all experience levels
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Not only was it packaged extremely well, it also came with its own bag to hold the toy. The vibe is strong, and manages to get throughout the toy for thorough stimulation. It's a great addition and a fantastic start to spice up the bed life with anal. It's pretty easy to clean, too." -Amazon
Kink toys have seen an incredible boom in popularity, particularly since the release of books and movies like 50 Shades of Grey. Frye-Nekrasova tells us that kink can be freeing for many people, allowing them to indulge in fantasies, express themselves, and explore more within their sexual relationships. As always, though, consent is paramount. It's important to discuss boundaries, fantasies, and safe words before and during kink and/or BDSM play.
Interested in spicing up your playtime, and looking to get your toys quickly (and on a budget)? Check below for some of Amazon's best kink toys, from restraints to floggers and beyond.

Rowntree loves Sportsheets' under the bed restraints, especially this set, which includes restraints for both arms and legs as well as a strap that can connect them all together. Not only do reviewers write that the set is comfortable and sturdy (it’s made with 100 percent body safe material), but Rowntree also points out that they're subtle, so you can let them take up permanent residence on your bedframe and be tucked away underneath when they’re not in use.
Pros: comfortable; sexpert-approved; safe; sturdy; subtle; good for travel
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "These bondage straps are ideal! They are easy to set up and easy to hide (or easy to leave suggestively poking out from under the mattress, if desired). The straps are strong, and easy to adjust, but I've never had the buckles loosen unintentionally when using." -Amazon

Rowntree says that feather dusters are a great way to start one's kink journey without heading straight for pain play, and are a low-pressure way of introducing toys and kink into the bedroom. This feather duster in particular has a high rating on Amazon, with one used commenting that it's well-made, durable, and that its feather won't fall off while it's in use. It is not intended for penetrative use and is not waterproof, but it is, within reason, easy to clean.
Pros: sexpert-approved; great for beginners
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Meets usage expectations, well packed, good size, very soft, and feathers don't fall out with use." -Amazon

If you're looking to try spanking and flogging but aren't sure where to begin, consider this flogger, which comes with multiple attachments and a long handle. It's also the number one bestseller on Amazon among all floggers and crops, with hundreds of glowing reviews to its name. One top reviewer explains why, saying that it was comfortable for both receiver (upon impact) and giver (in hand), and that it helped opened both partners up to trying different kinds of kink play.
Pros: comfortable; soft; authentic; good for all experience levels; long handle
Cons: may be too intense for beginners
Customer Review: "Firm, strong, easy to grip and end material offers good variation in delivery." -Amazon

There are a lot of handcuffs on sale on Amazon, but this set is among the best. Multiple reviews say that they're surprisingly high-quality and sturdy (a value, considering the low price). Furthermore, they're adjustable, and many verified customers appreciate their ability to fit any and every wrist size. Most importantly, they feature a safety release, so you can feel comfortable physically and mentally during play, and you’ll never have to worry about making an embarrassing emergency call if your partner loses the key.
Pros: great for all experience levels; safety latch
Cons: can be heavy
Customer Review: "Very heavy, but I think that gives them character. Easy to get out of on your own—keys are just for play." -Amazon
Every sex toy on this list has been hand-chosen by Marie Claire's E-Commerce Writer, Gabrielle Ulubay, or has been recommended by a sex expert, such as a gynecologist, sex therapist, or other sexual wellness expert with substantial, verifiable experience in the field. Every single product is made from body-safe, high-quality material, has been rigorously tested for safety, is made by a well-established brand, and is sold on by reputable vendors whose identity has been verified. Products have also been tested by our editor, by sex experts, or by reviewers in order to guarantee safety, shelf-life, efficacy. The best sex toy(s) for you depends on your anatomy, sexuality, comfort level, and preferences, all of which we've taken into account when compiling this list.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
However, Amazon boasts an insane amount of products, and it's important to be discerning—particularly when buying a product that's intended to touch some of you and your partner's most sensitive body parts. Thus, we've consulted sexperts and sexologists and have combed through hundreds of products and reviews to bring you the very best vibrators on Amazon right now.

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LELO Loki Wave Obsidian Black $189 $105 | Amazon
This sexpert-approved anal vibrator provides intense vibrations that advanced users will love.View Deal
Many women prefer clitoral stimulation over penetration, and there are a variety of vibrators on the market that cater to this preference. In fact, much new sex toy technology, such as suction and air pleasure, is made to stimulate the clitoris in particular. Below, some of the most innovative and highly recommended vibrators on Amazon for your best clitoral experience yet.
Best Vibrator on Amazon for Grinding
This toy is great for people who enjoy being more active during masturbation (by thrusting, grinding, etc.) or for partner play. By grinding on this toy, a user can stimulate their clitoris indirectly, which can result in fantastic, dispersed pleasure rather than the pinpointed, intense pleasure of a bullet or wand vibrator. According to customers, this is also a highly sensual toy, with one top reviewer calling it a "self care, after bath, R&B music, make love to yourself toy."
Pros: great for grinding; great for indirect stimulation; sensual
Cons: not for penetration
Customer Review: "This thing is really, really good. A bit short (all women are not tiny) but overall really good. Quiet motor even on its top speed and easy to hold in one's hand. I will have to limit my use of it because it would be easy to become very dependent on it." -Amazon
Best Wearable Vibrator on Amazon
I'm obsessed with this vibrator—a fact that’s very well-documented. Not only does this vibrator get the job done, if need be, but it's also a fun, gorgeous piece of statement jewelry that's bound to start plenty of conversations. Rowntree agrees, adding that the toy "has a simple push-button that delivers four levels of fun, and the battery is fully rechargeable." It has four distinct vibration settings suitable for every experience level, it’s easy to wash, and it comes in three luxe colorways.
Pros: washable; wearable; editor-approved
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "I bought this 10 months ago, and it's still working like a champ. No issues charging it, no problems with strength. I love it so much, I just bought another one, in case something happens to the one i already own. In this 10 months, I've bought and discarded several other toys, with none measuring up to this one. Seriously, this little gem is worth it. It's the only toy I've purchased that really delivered, and stood up to use." -Amazon
Best OG Vibrator on Amazon
Rowntree recommends this toy for anyone interested in wand vibrators, citing it as the one that "started the wand phenomenon"—which it did, kickstarting a sex toy craze and an enhanced awareness of the importance of women's sexual health. In addition to the original full-sized model, this one also includes a mini wand that's ideal for travel and partner play, or for when you don’t have access to an outlet, since the original wand is powered by a wire.
Pros: popular; highly rated; sexpert-approved; editor-approved; comes with extra accoutrements
Cons: powered with a wire; only two vibration speeds
Customer Review: "Wow, doesn't take it long to do the trick. Had it on her for maybe a minute or two and it was time for the show. Needless to say she loves it and so do I. Win win. Thing holds charge too. Lots of different choices of movements and vibrations." -Amazon

Sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova calls this toy "luxurious," and reviewers seem to agree. The unique, wildly popular vibrator uses patented Pleasure Air technology to stimulate the clitoris in a manner akin to oral sex for an intense orgasm and overall experience. One reviewer raves, "This toy is definitely worth the money for someone who [finds it] hard to get off...It even has an autopilot mode!" It also has twelve different, customizable vibration modes, and is even splashproof.
Pros: splashproof; many different functions; expert-approved; mimics oral sex; good for all experience levels
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Highly recommend to people who would like to try a toy if you do not have experience of having one, or even you have experience." -Amazon
While the existence of the G-spot remains a highly contested (mostly because mainstream science consistently fails to invest in research on female pleasure), it's undeniable that many people with vaginas enjoy the G-spot stimulation that comes with penetration. Therefore, there's a myriad of vibrators made for such internal use, and the selection caters to beginners, advanced users, and everyone in between.
Best Editor-Approved Vibrator on Amazon
This is my personal go-to sex toy, and is responsible for changing my previously held conviction that sex toys and vibrators simply didn't work for me. It has ten different settings, an impressive battery life, is completely waterproof, and unbelievably easy to clean. Plus, because it’s flexible, it can be adjusted during or before play to hit just the right spot, to vary where it’s hitting, or to avoid areas where stimulation isn’t comfortable. And if you enjoy non-penetrative stimulation, it’s also great for use on the clitoris.
Pros: versatile; many settings; affordable; editor-approved
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I love that they are hypo-allergenic and can be completely submerged. Each one I have are truly all different and are great for multiple things." -Amazon
Best Remote Controlled Vibrator on Amazon
"Need something to make you 'twist and shout'?" teases Rowntree. "The We-Vibe Rave throws your body a party unlike any other. With 10 unique settings and a luxurious silicone feel, you’ll also be happy to know Rave is rechargeable and app compatible too." It’s also completely waterproof, making it perfect for partnered or solo play in the shower or bath, and it has a curved shape that's optimal for pinpointed g-spot stimulation.
Pros: soft feel; many settings; affordable; expert-approved; can be controlled via app
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "My wife really likes the orgasms she gets from this- all her top-ten O's are from this vibe (her first)." -Amazon
Best Vibrator on Amazon for Partner Play
Frye-Nekrasova specifically recommends this for "advanced users," explaining that it's great for "hands-free stimulation and can be used during partner play," especially considering its mobile app-enabled capabilities. It’s essentially a rabbit vibrator, made fro dual clitoral and g-spot stimulation, but its minimalist shape and remote controllability are designed so that it can be worn to enhance penetrative sex. It’s waterproof, has multiple app-controllable vibration patterns and functions, and features two motors to ensure that each of its heads performs as well as possible.
Pros: can be worn during sex; remote controllable
Cons: some users find it weak; some users report bluetooth issues; made from silicone, so can't be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Bought this as something to increase the sex-drive between my girlfriend and myself. After using this item a couple times the only issues we have come across is with charging the device and the vibrations being a little weak on the inside. Overall it is a great device and we both love and enjoy it! As a note, we have had no issues with the Bluetooth function or the app. Everything has worked great and as expected!" -Amazon
Best Customizable Vibrator on Amazon
I personally love this vibrator. It features controls that allow the user to adjust for "treble" and "bass," making for an incomparably customizable experience that follows the logic of a high-tech set of speakers. Rowntree loves the product, too, praising its "broad surface area and ergonomic contours that make finding your G-spot―or any desired spot―into an earth-shattering, orgasmic excursion." It has five different vibration patterns and a whopping 25 possible pleasure combinations, when factoring in each bass and treble setting.
Pros: expert-approved; editor-approved; multiple settings
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Unlike other, lower quality toys, the Kurve has not just one but two motors inside.
The treble vibrations motor is located just beneath the gel-filled tip, while the bass vibrations motor is lower down the body of the toy, just above the controls area. These motors can be operated independently thanks to the separate, labelled controls on the handle. You can have just the treble, just the bass, or both of them on at the same time – with differing intensities or pattern in either. I find the Kurve extremely effective." -Amazon
When it comes to stimulating the clitoris and the G-spot, there's really no need to choose just one. Below, the best rabbit vibrators on Amazon for dual (and even triple!) stimulation that'll knock your sexual socks off.
Best Luxury Rabbit Vibrator on Amazon
For those who love the pleasure air technology of the original Womanizer but also enjoy g-spot stimulation, this vibrator is a dream come true. Personally, I especially enjoy its comfortable fit and adjustability—both of which can be hard to come by when shopping for dual-stimulating sex toys. While employing a suction-like feel on the clitoris, it also stimulates the g-spot with a specially curved arm. It has 14 intensity levels, 10 vibration patterns, and two separate motors for each head. It’s also fully waterproof.
Pros: waterproof; simulates oral sex; dual stimulating; many intensity levels and functions
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Is it worth it? Hell yeah. I recommend this product to every woman! It’s a must have." -Amazon
Best Classic Rabbit Vibrator on Amazon
Rowntree recommends this vibrator for those who are looking for a traditional rabbit vibrator experience, citing the fact that the rabbit became popular after Susan Colvin "brought the Jack Rabbit toy design to her newly formed company, CalExotics," in 1994. Nearly 30 years later, this toy remains highly rated and incredibly popular, its Amazon page rife with rave reviews from customers of all experience levels. With seven vibration functions and three thrusting speeds, it’s sure to please.
Pros: multiple settings and functions; expert-approved; enduring popularity
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube; some users don't find it flexible enough
Customer Review: "Every woman.. and I mean every single woman on the surface of this earth that hits puberty should have one of these!!!" -Amazon
Best Ergonomic Rabbit Vibrator on Amazon
Stewart recommends this dual-stimulating vibrator for those who have "a small- to medium-sized clitoris" because of the unique size of its clitoral head. She explains that the toy "uses the ears to maximize the stimulation of the clitoris” while simultaneously hitting the g-spot with its larger, longer head. It features seven vibration speeds and has two motors, is easy to clean, and is rechargeable via USB cord.
Pros: expert-approved; multiple functions; easy to clean and charge
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Best Triple-Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator on Amazon
Why stop at dual pleasure when you can go for triple pleasure? If you love clitoral, g-spot, and anal stimulation, particularly simultaneously, then consider this top rated option from Adorime. It’s quiet and has seven vibrations that travel through all three of its individual heads. Several reviewers recommend it for those who are interested in partnered anal play, but it also works for solo masturbation. In fact, one user calls it, "the best toy I have ever used in my life."
Pros: multiple settings and functions; triple stimulation; easy to clean
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube; some users don't find it flexible enough
Customer Review: "There isn’t really anything that I don’t like about it! I enjoy it, every time and it literally has the ability to make your toes curl." -Amazon
Best Advanced Anal Vibrator on Amazon
Dr. Zhana Vrangalova recommends this anal vibrator "for the more experienced folks" because of its impressive girth and strong vibrations. She adds that it works especially well for solo masturbation because of its long handle. It has eight adjustable massage settings suitable for all preferences, and has glowing reviews from people of all genders. It’s also waterproof, which is perfect for those who are more comfortable or most relaxed while masturbating in the tub, especially since anal stimulation is best done when you’re at your calmest.
Pros: easy to clean; strong vibrations; many settings; expert-approved
Cons: may not be suited for beginners
Customer Review: "It is a little big so if you are new to prostate massage, go slow! The first few times she put it in, she went way too fast and it did not feel good. Once you get used to it, however, this is a great toy! The vibrations are very intense on the high setting so, if you like vibes, the Loki will not disappoint." -Amazon
Best Beginner Anal Vibrator on Amazon
Shamyra Howard recommends this vibrator for all who are interested in trying anal stimulation, regardless of experience level, for its "varying intensities and levels." To be precise, this option features 15 vibrating patterns and 6 levels of intensity. It also comes with a remote control that works from up to 30 feet away from the toy, making it ideal for spicy partner play.
Pros: remote controllable; expert-approved; works well for distance play; good for all experience levels
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Got this for my girlfriend and she fell in love with it almost instantly. It takes a little study to learn how to use its adjustable power settings and numerous types of vibration. The remote control makes the introduction to the plug and experimentation with it a delight." -Amazon
Best Vibrating Anal Beads on Amazon
This is the number one bestselling anal bead option on Amazon, and it's a bargain to boot. Verified customers say that they love how easy it is to use and clean as well as how many vibration patterns it has—a whopping 13, in addition to three intensity levels. The make of the beads also allow users to ease into use, and the toy is fully submersible in water.
Pros: waterproof; highly rated; good for all experience levels; many vibration settings
Cons: made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Not only was it packaged extremely well, it also came with its own bag to hold the toy. The vibe is strong, and manages to get throughout the toy for thorough stimulation. It's a great addition and a fantastic start to spice up the bed life with anal. It's pretty easy to clean, too." -Amazon
Best Warming Anal Vibrator on Amazon
Another triple stimulation toy, this vibrator incorporates clitoral suction-style vibrations as well as a remote control, making for A+ hands-free or partner play. It also has a warming function that multiple reviewers say they love.
Pros: triple stimulating; highly rated; soft, comfortable material; many vibration settings
Cons: made from silicone, so not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Shew whee! Let me tell you this toy is absolutely amazing. For the love of all that exist, please purchase this toy! Don’t second think it, just DO it NOW! It had muscles contracting that I didn’t even know existed! Pretty sure it sucked my soul straight out of my body! Best experience ever! And the price is amazing!" -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Still, vibrators tend to fall into a few basic categories. Once you know what each one is and how to use each type of vibrator, you'll be more empowered to make the best decisions for yourself and/or your partner on your next sex toy shopping spree. Below, check out our expert-vetted explainer on each type of vibrator, so you'll be ready for your most well-informed (and most fun) vibrator experience yet.
Wand vibrators (also known as personal massagers) are among the most popular and recognizable sex toys of all time. In the words of sexologist and intimacy coach Marla Renee Stewart, this toy has a head with "a dome-like shape" that offers "a deep and strong vibration." Indeed, these vibrators can also double as massagers for erogenous zones or simply for tired or achy parts of the body.
When it comes to how to use them, Stewart says, "You always need to read the directions for whatever wand vibrator that you have, as many of them have different speeds and modes and even attachments. Some of them are rechargeable and some are battery-operated or plug-in, so make sure that you follow the directions according to the company. Typically wands are used on the clitoris, but there are attachments that can be used for penetration. If you are using it on your clitoris and you are a squirter, it's highly recommended that you use a waterproof wand because you don't want to cause the wand any damage from fluid, which could void any warranty you have."

"For beginners and partner play, the Lovehoney Dream Wand Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand Vibrator is a great choice thanks to its size," says Javay Frye-Nekrasova, a sexpert for Lovehoney. "Since it is a mini, it is not a giant leap in size from a bullet massager, but introduces a new design and power to the user. The size is also great for partner play because it is small enough to not intrude, but still offer powerful stimulation."
"A bullet vibrator is a small, handheld, typically cylindrical, sex toy that can be used for direct, pinpointed stimulation on the body," says Frye-Nekrasova. For this reason, they're excellent for both beginners exploring where they most like to be touched as well as experienced users who know exactly where they want their vibrator to stimulate them. Bullet vibrators are also excellent for stimulating other erogenous zones—something we explore in our guide on how to use them.

This is one of ethical porn site founder (Sssh.com) Angie Rowntree's favorite bullet vibrators, and it's one of mine, too. She says, "This gorgeous slimline bullet doubles as statement jewelry for the ultimate in “hidden in plain sight” delight! The Bond girl of its namesake, Vesper is ready to go anywhere with you in style. The body, tip, and chain is made of high polish 316 stainless steel, and you can get it in rose gold, silver, or yellow gold finish–and engravement options are even available. Vesper has a simple push-button that delivers 4 levels of fun, and the battery is fully rechargeable."
For people who enjoy vaginal penetration and the novel sensations of a vibrating toy, a G-spot vibrator is the way to go. Frye-Nekrasova defines these vibrators as "insertable vibrator[s] that [are] designed to stimulate the g-spot," which can be accomplished by thrusting the toy in and out of the vagina or grinding against it after insertion.
But what is the g-spot, exactly? AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Shamyra Howard explains, "The g-spot is said to be a sensitive area located at least two to three inches inside the vagina. One way to stimulate the area is by using a finger in the 'come here' motion." This mode of stimulation has inspired the distinctive shapes behind some of the best g-spot vibrator designs.

Stewart calls this "a fantastic pick" for G-spot stimulation. "Not only does it have 12 vibrations," she says, "but the ridges on the outside stimulate the entrance to the vaginal canal, which is one of the most sensitive parts of the vagina." She also adds that it's completely waterproof and submersible, "just in case you want to take it in the tub with you. What's cool about this vibrator is that it has a turbo boost for each vibrational setting, so you get that kickstart every time you move up a level!"
Are you a fan of both clitoral and g-spot stimulation? Then consider the widely beloved rabbit vibrator. "A rabbit vibrator is a classic sex toy that originally was designed with a long insertable portion for the vaginal canal and an outer clitoral stimulation portion that looked like bunny ears," says Frye-Nekrasova. "Over the decades the designs have changed where some rabbits now don't have the traditional bunny ears, but they still have the dual stimulation with an insertable portion and an outer portion that touches the clitoris."
In recent years, a variety of rabbit vibrators have also been designed for long-distance play, partner play, and solo masturbation.

Stewart calls this option "the next gen version of the old rabbit," and it's at the top of her recommendations list. She explains, "Instead of a flickering of the ears for the clitoris, the clitoral vibrator is able to vibrate while applying pressure for those who need more pressure on their clitoris. With this vibrator, you can have an extended session, as its maximum run time is 50 minutes; this means that you can take your time to enjoy your orgasm without worrying about if it will die on you. Just remember to plug it back in when you're done so it will be ready for you for the next time!"
"Some clitoral stimulators are described as 'suction vibes,'" says author and sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly, but she points out that many of these toys don't actually suck on the clitoris. "Instead, they’re surrounding the head of the clitoris to create a suction-like sensation."
These toys are particularly appealing to people who enjoy oral sex or prefer clitoral stimulation that's gentler than the type provided by a wand or bullet vibrator. With a clitoral suction vibrator, Dr. O'Reilly says, a "unique pleasure massage is created by tiny changes in air pressure that surround the head of the clitoris — providing indirect stimulation that tends to create deeper sensations of pleasure and orgasm."

Dr. O'Reilly is a big fan of the Womanizer toy, citing its patented Pleasure Air technology and how customizable it is. "Womanizer toys come with changeable 'heads' so you can customize the size according to your specific needs," she explains. "Some people have a clitoral head/glans that is highly visible and others find that theirs is more 'hidden' under the clitoral hood. You can often retract the skin of the hood to reveal the head, but some people prefer to play with toys over the hood for a more subtle sensation."
Dr. Laurie Mintz, a tenured Professor of the Psychology of Human Sexuality, says that this type of vibrator "can be controlled remotely," meaning that you don't need to press any buttons on the actual toy in order to get it to work.
"There are generally three types of these toys," Dr. Mintz tells us. The first is "those that are controlled with a separate remote, within a certain radius (kind of like remote-controlled cars you may have had or seen when a kid)."
The second type of remote vibrator allows you or a partner to control the settings and switch between modes by using a mobile application, but, again, "within a specific radius."
Finally, the third type of remote vibrator "can be controlled locally via Bluetooth connection or remotely from anywhere with an internet connection," Dr. Mintz says. "These are terrific for long-distance relationships, yet there is a caution associated with them, and that is that it’s important to choose a toy with proper security and anonymization to avoid being vulnerable to the image of you being exposed."
For that reason, check out our comprehensive list of the best remote vibrators, which have been vetted so you can have fun without worrying about any invasions of privacy.

"Because We-Vibe has produced several versions of this toy over the years, the updated Chorus has been thoughtfully updated and designed for comfort and pleasure," Dr. O'Reilly attests. "It’s flexible, powerful, rumbly and has all the bells and whistles, including the option to customize your vibration patterns and control it from anywhere in the world using the We-Connect app."
In the mood for some clandestine fun? Then consider vibrating panties. Frye-Nekrasova says, "Vibrating panties are vibrators design to sit in the underwear and stimulate the clitoris. They can come with a specific panty or be designed to fit into any and all panties. You use them by placing them in the portion of the panties that sits against the clitoris or other parts of the vulva you want to stimulate and you can control the functions with the remote that comes with the panties or the vibe."
Just be sure, when you buy, that you test out the toys before wearing and using them in public. No one wants to find themselves accidentally reenacting that notorious scene from When Harry Met Sally.

Dr. Jess O'Reilly calls this "the ultimate panty vibe" because of how "powerful, quiet, slim, and really discreet" it is. Furthermore, it can be controlled from a mobile app, making both partner and solo play infinitely easier and more hands-free.
Frye-Nekrasova tells us that, in the simplest of terms, "anal vibrators are anal toys that vibrate." As examples, she lists "anal beads that vibrate, vibrating butt plugs and prostate massagers."
Our experts remind us, though, to be sure to only use sex toys that are specifically marked as and made for anal use. Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a LELO Sexpert and NYU Professor of Human Sexuality, explains that anal vibrators "are typically shaped differently to fit the anatomy of the rectum rather than the clitoris and vagina, and they typically have a tapered end so they don't get lost inside the rectum (something that's not of concern with clitoral and vaginal vibrators)."
Furthermore, she reminds us to "apply plenty of lube that's compatible with the material of the vibrator." For clarification on how to find the right lube that's compatible with the material your anal toys are made of, check out our guide to the best lubes.
Finally, when it comes to anal stimulation, remember that slow and steady wins the race. "Go slow," says Dr. Vrangalova. "Build it up slowly and gently, going from a finger or a thin vibrator to a larger one as the sphincter relaxes." Plus, to avoid embarrassing and/or messy situations, she advises taking precautions.
"Go to the bathroom a couple of hours before anal play. Make sure you don't feel like you have to go right before you're about to play," she says, adding, "Clean out your anus with soap and water. You could do an enema, although it's not really necessary unless you're planning on stuffing really big vibrators in there. Don't eat spicy or otherwise diarrhea-inducing types of meals the night before."
For more specific tips on how to use an anal vibrator, take a look at our comprehensive guide on how to use every type of vibrator as well as our round-up of the best anal vibrators you can buy online.

Dr. O'Reilly loves this toy for advanced users in particular. "This remote prostate toy creates full body sensations with its bulbous shape and circular stroking motion," she says. "The internal portion is silky smooth while the external base is textured for pressure and massage against the perineum. "
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
"All anuses have a huge amount of nerve endings concentrated in that area," says Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a professor of Human Sexuality at NYU and sexpert for sexual wellness brand LELO, "which when stimulated can feel good to people."
Indeed, it's perfectly normal to be curious and/or enthusiastic about anal stimulation. However, because the rectum is physiologically different from the vagina in a number of ways, its' important to properly educate oneself and prepare before delving into this new world of pleasure.
"When it comes to anal stimulation, it’s always important to only use vibrators specifically designed for anal stimulation," says Shamyra Howard, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. "Anal vibrators will always have a flared base to prevent them from getting lost in the anus." Unlike the vagina, the rectum essentially behaves like a vacuum, so if your toys don't have flared bases, the rectum could suck them up into the body.
Furthermore, the rectum does not self-lubricate in the way that the vagina does, so it's important to use lube when inserting a finger, penis, or toy into the rectum. And remember: Start slow! If you're new to anal penetration and are looking to experiment with toys in particular, Dr. Vrangalova recommends starting small, like an anal plug. Plus, she adds, "If people want to start with something even smaller, they can find a set of vibrating anal beads, or vibrating anal butt plugs. "
Finally, remember to always clean your sex toys after each use, and to never use a toy on your clitoris or vagina after inserting it into your rectum. "Most anal vibrators can be cleaned with antibacterial soap and warm water," Dr. Vrangalova explains. "Make sure you wash it thoroughly. Then let it air dry and put it in a clean Ziplock bag. You can also use a sex toy cleaner." Her favorite, she says is this one.
Once you know the ropes about fun (and safe) anal stimulation, it's time to do some vibrator shopping. Scroll on to check out the best anal vibrators across the web, from anal beads to beginners' butt plugs to double- and triple-stimulating toys. No matter your experience level, gender, or preference, there's something here for everyone.

LELO Loki Wave Rechargeable Vibrating Prostate Massager $220 $176 | Lovehoney
This sexpert-approved toy is perfect for advanced users, during both solo and partner play. View Deal

Adam & Eve My 1st Surge Vibrating Butt Plug $40 $22 | Adam & Eve
Users of all experience levels absolutely love this anal vibrator. Reviewers absolutely rave about how comfortable, easy to use, and easy to clean it is. View Deal

"For anal stimulation, you can’t go wrong with a vibrating butt plug," says Howard. "Like all vibrators, these also have varying intensities and levels." She recommends this butt plug for beginners in particular.
Pros: expert-approved; waterproof; 7 vibration modes; great for beginners; free of phthalates
Cons: not compatible with silicone-based lubes
Customer Review: "It’s very easy and comfortable to slide in. The vibration modes are the key to an orgasm in seconds. It’s intense and gentle at the same time." -Lovehoney

"This remote prostate toy creates full body sensations with its bulbous shape and circular stroking motion," says Dr. O'Reilly, who says this option is perfect "for advanced users." She explains, "The internal portion is silky smooth while the external base is textured for pressure and massage against the perineum. "
Pros: expert-approved; remote-controlled; 3 vibration speeds and 7 patterns
Cons: not compatible with silicone-based lubes; some users wish the vibrations were more intense
Customer Review: "This little thing is really great. It’s perfectly shaped, it wiggles, and it vibrates! What more can you ask for?" -Lovehoney

"My favorite anal vibrator for beginners is LELO's Billy 2," says Dr. Vrangalova, "because it's small enough to fit almost any anus/rectum."
Pros: expert-approved; great for beginners; 8 vibration settings; waterproof
Cons: not compatible with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "This is the perfect starter device and for those who are more experienced, it has a powerful punch and lots of modes, its also good for playing with yourself in other ways. Very long battery life and also use plugged in!" -LELO

Dr. Vrangalova says that the Loki Wave is ideal "for the more experienced folks," but she also points out that its long handle makes it ideal for solo play. Gone are the days of having to struggle to reach behind oneself to find just the right spot.
Pros: expert-approved; long handle; more than ten vibration settings; long battery life
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "This toy surprised me the first time i used it because of the toys size the vibrator is beyond any other prostate toy I've used. The toy lasts multiple sessions before needing to be recharged, the toy feels good and slides in nicely.
The different modes help you find what really gets you going. This toy is definitely for people who have tried other toys—I definitely wouldn't start with this toy—I would build your way up to it." -LELO

Dr. Vrangalova also recommends the Hugo for experienced users, "especially for partnered play, since it has a flat end that can be easily combined with penetrative sex or used creatively for Domination/submission and public play."
Pros: two vibrating motors; responds to your movement; long battery life; submersible; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I must say, when I was considering spending this much money on a toy, I thought to myself that I must be mad. But having had it for a few years now, I can well and truly say its the best toy I've ever bought. It still works as new today as it did in 2018. Me and my partner both love it, it's fun to use with the remote and have nice and powerful vibrations. Fits us great and is nice and comfortable. Rechargeable via a cable so no need to keep buying batteries, either." -Lovehoney

This is ideal for the beginner and/or the no-nonsense pleasure seeker. This butt plug eschews all the fancy bells and whistles of more complicated sextech, and instead incorporates intuitive settings: low, medium, and high vibration. Beginners love it, but, based on reviews, it's also a huge hit among the more experienced, who say that the high setting truly packs a punch.
Pros: great for beginners; simple; ten vibration combinations; easy to use; easy to clean
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube; attached to a wire
Customer Review: "My girl is new to anal. She loves this! Silicone is soft and the vibration is amazing." -Adam & Eve

Customers really love this vibrator, with people calling it a "great value" and "impressive." One especially enthusiastic user called it the best toy they'd ever used in their life, saying that it provides strong stimulation to all three erogenous, to very intense results.
Pros: flexible; smooth; great for advanced users; great for solo and partner play
Cons: not completely waterproof; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "The anal beads are good size for those not accustomed to that activity. They don't vibrate but the rabbit and the dildo do. Three levels of vibration, number three being pretty strong. You can turn off the vibe for the rabbit if you're really sensitive in that area. It is easy to use without the anal bead portion, as that part is really flexible and can be moved aside." -Amazon

This anal vibrator boasts ten vibration modes and four "wriggle modes," making for a fantastically customizable experience. Plus, multiple reviewers note that the suction cup on this product is very strong and sturdy, making it the perfect option for those who enjoy riding their toys during solo play.
Pros: easy to clean; 10 vibration settings and four vibration modes; waterproof; remote-controlled
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "The description of this product does not lie or exaggerate. Excellent to enjoy in privacy alone or with your partner as it relaxes and de-stresses. It has a powerful motor and lasts a long time between recharges. It is made of a material that is soft to the touch but at the same time firm and durable. Something that also makes it unique is that you don't have to spend anything on batteries since it has a cable to recharge it with electricity and it's easy to handle thanks to the included remote control that comes with a replacement battery. And the truth is that it has a reasonable price for the service it offers." -Amazon

This anal beads are ideal for people looking to start slow, because you can gradually insert the toy one bead at a time. Plus, for those who love the intense friction of anal stimulation, these balls are ribbed. Multiple reviewers call this one of their favorite toys, with one saying that it's the best set of anal beads they've ever used.
Pros: affordable; great for users of all experience levels; sturdy; gradually increase in size
Cons: not compatible with silicone-based lube; the balls have ridges, so they may be challenging to clean
Customer Review: "[They] are the best anal beads I've ever used!!! The balls are big enough for an medium-level experienced person that doesn't want to go 'too big' to still be comfortable. One of the best orgasms Ive ever had with these!!!" -Amazon

Customer love this vibrator, commenting that its detailing and bulbous shape feel great, particularly for the more experienced. They also of course, love the playful, decorative look of the product, but multiple reviewers note that you should take your time cleaning all of its crevices.
Pros: decorative; playful; also works for g-spot stimulation; five vibration intensities; unique sensation
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Beautifully made and designed, and cute enough (as well as discreet, depending on the type of person you are) to be left out on the bedside table when not in use, which I totally do! Trinity, Tripp, and Trine's smiles give me a lift whenever I look at them. They help remind me to take time for myself and my body." -Babeland

If you enjoy both anal and g-spot penetration simultaneously, this is a great option for you. It's waterproof and compatible with both water- and silicone-based lubricants. It's perfect for solo play, but reviewers especially sing its praises for partner play.
Pros: several speeds; waterproof; decorative; flexible; compatible with water- and silicone-based lubes
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My wife really enjoyed this toy it is soft and flexible and not too big. It was very comfortable for her and she was surprised how good it felt alll the way in both areas. It did its job and we are both happy with this product." -Adam & Eve
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova defines bullet vibrators as "small, handheld, typically cylindrical" toys, and says that they can be used "for direct, pinpointed stimulation on the body." These toys can therefore be used on the nipples, clitoris, and other external erogenous zones as a means of foreplay, partner play, or solo masturbation.
And why are they called bullet vibrators? Angie Rowntree, founder and director of the ethical feminist porn site Sssh.com, says these toys owe their name to their "scaled-back size and shape," which can also result in them being called egg or lipstick vibrators.
Below, we've rounded up the all-time greatest bullet vibrators from across the internet, so that sex toy novices and advanced users alike can enjoy this gadget's unique, pinpointed stimulation. And if you're still curious about how to use a bullet vibrator or need ideas on how to safely get creative, check out our handy guide on how to use every kind of vibrator.

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator $70 $42 | Lovehoney
This little vibrator packs a punch, with three vibration speeds and a whopping 17 vibration patterns. It's perfect for people of all experience levels and preferences.View Deal

Lovehoney Power Play 7 Function Love Egg Vibrator $25 $15 |Lovehoney
This remote-controlled vibrator is easy to use, powerful, and perfect those who are just beginning to use sex toys for solo or partner play.View Deal

Award-winning sex and relationship expert Dr. Jessica O'Reilly says that for beginner and partner play, this is her "favorite toy hands-down. It’s versatile, powerful and can be used on all body parts from the perineum and clitoris to the inner thighs and testes." Plus, she adds, "You can also sit directly on the Touch X during all types of sex play, and it’s perfect for travel if you’re packing up for a weekend escape. Its shape fits beautifully around the vulva and its rounded tip allows for pinpointed pleasure wherever you like it."
Pros: expert-approved; can be used all over the body; inclusive of all anatomies; seven vibration functions and eight intensity levels; long battery life
Cons: some users wish the buttons were easier to locate in the dark
Customer Review: "First off, the battery life on this thing is great! I've used it quite a bit since getting it, and only had to recharge it tonight. One thing I love about this is the different vibration settings. I have a sensitive clit, and 'normal' vibrations are too strong. The low vibration setting on the We-Vibe is PERFECT. With that said, it's nice to have a product that's good for everyone. Is it worth the price? Yes. It is." -Adam & Eve

For more advanced users, Frye-Nekrasova says that this sex toy "comes with a real punch and strong vibrations that penetrate through the skin to stimulate the entire clitoris (even the internal portions). The silicone at the base of the vibrator makes it easy to hold the vibrator without the vibrations going into your hand and dulling the experience."
Pros: expert-approved; seven vibration modes and eight intensities; waterproof; good for all experience levels
Cons: some users wish the vibrations were more powerful
Customer Review: "Purchased this as an upgrade from a cheaper bullet. Well worth the purchase. Good value for money and the design is great. The silicon handle is comfortable and avoids getting any aching hands. Would recommend this to anyone seeking more variation is settings, as this has lots of them!" -Lovehoney

"Perfect for beginners and seasoned connoisseurs alike, the Desire Luxury rechargeable bullet vibe is sleek, powerful, and totally discreet," says Rowntree. "You can enjoy the tapered tip or 'broad strokes' when it is laid horizontally. With three speeds and 17 patterns, you can find your fantasy—and feel it however you want!"
Pros: three speeds and seventeen patterns; expert-approved; water-submersible; easy to use; discreet
Cons: some users wish it had a longer battery life
Customer Review: "If you or your significant other love strong vibrations, this is the vibrator! This little thing packs a big punch and makes such a difference. Press and hold to turn it on, then just press the same button to shift through each setting." -Lovehoney

"The Lovers Ruby Bullet is a great bullet because not only is it perfect for placing between your labia, if you like, but you can also use it for vaginal penetration," recommends sexpert Marla Renee Stewart, MA. "Placing it between your labia allows you to have a hands-free orgasm or even leave your hands to rub on different parts of your body or turn the pages of your favorite erotica. Using it for penetration, you can aim towards your G-spot and see where the vibration feels the best."
Pros: expert-approved; easy, hands-free play; charges quickly; free of phthalates; 20 vibration settings and speeds; inclusive of all anatomies
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Really love this vibrator it small and convenient, not loud and so many different types of vibration! It charges at a decent rate and it last quite a while so I’m happy." -Lovers

"This gorgeous slimline bullet doubles as statement jewelry for the ultimate in 'hidden in plain sight' delight!" raves Rowntree. "The Bond girl of its namesake, Vesper is ready to go anywhere with you in style. The body, tip, and chain is made of high polish 316 stainless steel, and you can get it in rose gold, silver, or yellow gold finish–and engravement options are even available. Vesper has a simple push-button that delivers four levels of fun, and the battery is fully rechargeable." I too, am a well-documented fan of this piece.
Pros: editor-approved; expert-approved; subtle; fashionable; woman- and BIPOC-owned business
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Excellent pinpoint vibration, and because of size, only lasts for maybe two rounds, especially if you're using it on high. My skin is really sensitive, but I didn't have any problem with the warming!" -Ulta

I personally love this option (which looks and feels luxe!) from Honey Birdette, and I'm not alone: Reviewers refer to this products as "fantastic" and "unbelievable," with one particularly impressed customer simply entitling their review "WOW."
Pros: five vibration levels and five levels of intensity; waterproof; discreet; has a travel lock; editor-approved
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "My partner loves this. Its easy to use and is so well made. The fact that it has a pointed and round end is great." -Honey Birdette

This sleek, sturdy, water-resistant vibrator has only three settings and one button, making it perfect for beginners or for users who just prefer to keep it simple. Reviewers love its simplicity, saying that it's an easy way of getting the job done, and they advise it for people who prefer sharper, "buzzier" vibrations rather than deep, rumbly ones.
Pros: ideal for beginners; easy to use; woman-owned brand
Cons: not waterproof (water resistant); three intensity levels may not be enough for some users
Customer Review: "Nice if you want something discreet, and it's pretty easy to clean. I do like the texture of the material, it's smooth but also matte." -Dame

This bestselling vibrator fits comfortably in the palm of one's hand, leading multiple reviewers to comment on how comfortable it makes the masturbation process (which, admittedly, can tire out one's wrist). And because this unique take on the bullet provides spread-out rather than pinpointed stimulation, it's perfect for sensitive clitorises.
Pros: woman- and BIPOC-owned brand; great for beginners; inclusive to all anatomy; developed by sexologists; easy to use
Cons: three vibration patterns may not be enough for all users
Customer Review: "Love love love this little toy! It fits so nicely in your hand and is great for everything from solo and partnered experiences to body massage after a long day. I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a straight-forward, versatile toy." -Bloomi

This vibrator is a literal take on the lipstick vibrator, but don't be fooled by its tiny size! One reviewer promises that it "packs a mean punch." While multiple other praise its uncanny resemblance to an actual tube of lipstick—perfect for throwing in your purse or makeup bag before a weekend trip.
Pros: subtle; free of latex and phthalates; great for beginners; easy to use
Cons: only one vibration speed
Customer Review: "This is my first time using a vibrator and I am Inlove with it, I used it during penetration since I have a hard time orgasming from that alone and this helps a lot." -Lovehoney

According to reviews, this vibrator is quite strong, and its ergonomic shape is made with female anatomy in mind so you can reach all the right (external) spots without hassle. Plus, by all accounts, its vibrations are quiet and discrete!
Pros: good for both pinpointed and all-over pleasure;
Cons: some users dislike the color
Customer Review: "Love the versatility of the flat, broad stimulation vs the pinpoint stimulation of the tip vs the perfect nestle of the triangular ridge. It feels powerful for its size, has the perfect rumbliness, and it's so quiet! This was supposed to stay at my partner's house for use during intimate time together, but I loved it too much to leave it." -Dame

Honey Birdette's site requires reviewers to give toys an orgasm rating that ranges from "maybe next time" to "mind-blowing," and every single reviewer said that this toy was the latter. People also add that the toy is quiet, discrete, and powerful in spite of its tiny size.
Pros: waterproof; subtle; has a travel lock; great for pinpointed stimulation; five intensity levels
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Admittedly, I originally bought this because it’s so darn cute and luxurious but Colt has DELIVERED. I am officially mind blown, obsessed, and Colt is a part of every day life now. The vibrating settings are powerful and such a fun variety to switch up the experience. I love that it’s rechargeable, waterproof, and how discreet it is. Also the fact that you can lock it so it doesn’t accidentally turn on if you have it in your bag is a nice little extra. As someone who travels a lot, this is such an easy thing to pack that takes up no space and also doesn’t have you blushing going through TSA security. 10000% recommend!" -Honey Birdette

This is one of the most highly-rated sex toys from Latinx-owned wellness brand Maude. Reviewers love it not only for its intense vibrations and quiet sounds, but also for the fact that it "doesn't look like a sex toy" and is versatile enough to be used on a number of (external!!) erogenous zones.
Pros: woman- and BIPOC-owned brand; quiet; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: not waterproof (water resistant); three settings may not be enough for all users
Customer Review: "This product is so easy to hold and the shape is easy to move around your body, it’s powerful little motor can take you to new levels in satisfaction, it’s the only devise that has provide me with intense pleasure and not just one but two within five minutes." -Maude

This egg vibrator features a remote control, making it inclusive for people of all levels of ability. It's also a great product for partner play, particularly based on the enthusiastic reviews of customers who bought this for their partners. One person wrote, with regards to their wife, they they have "never known her to orgasm so much."
Pros: remote play; seven different vibration functions; great for beginners to toys and to using toys during partner play
Cons: remote is attached to toy; loud vibrations
Customer Review: "This is the second time I’ve bought this toy! I may have accidentally used my last one to death! I love that it has so many different functions, it’s powerful as hell! And it’s fun to play with either solo or with the hubby! Safe to say it’s one of my favorites!" -Lovehoney
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Nowadays, there are scores of magic wand vibrators on the market that incorporate new technologies, speeds, and state-of-the-art features. But how do you identify a magic wand, and what is it used for?
Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova describes a wand vibrator as having a long stem with a round head—but notes that it does not have a phallic appearance. Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and sexpert for Lovers, adds that the rounded head of the vibrator is meant to deliver powerful vibrations to the clitoris or other external erogenous zones. Therefore, she says, "A wand vibrator is good for someone who likes deep, guttural vibrations."
"I would not recommend for someone who has a sensitive clitoris, as the vibrations of the wand are typically powerful and fast-moving," she continues, "And if you don't like it on or around your clitoris, you can use it for your muscles and everyday pain."
For more guidance on how to safely use a wand vibrator, check out our guide on how to use a vibrator, which includes a section on wand vibrator use specifically. But if you're already interested in exploring wand-pleasure, check out the all-time best, sexpert- and customer-approved wands below! After all, in the words of Marla Renee Stewart, "The best way to know if a wand is good for you is to try one and see!"

Rowntree calls this the "next-gen model of the toy that started the wand phenomenon. She goes on to describe, "This version offers 4 intensities and 4 patterns, an easy-to-clean silicone head, plus cordless with plug-and-play option. Do bear in mind: this is NOT a waterproof toy, but that’s hardly a dealbreaker. The reviews you see from satisfied ‘Magic Wand’ devotees are not a coincidence!"

This toy has seven vibration modes, is completely waterproof, and comes equipped with a travel lock so you can have fun on the go (without any embarrassing mishaps). Frye-Nekrasova Javay specifically recommends it "for advanced users that are looking for a toy that has power."

Frye-Nekrasova recommends this mini wand for both beginners and partner play, saying that it's an especially "great choice thanks to its size, since it is a mini it is not a giant leap in size from a bullet massager, but introduces a new design and power to the user. The size is also great for partner play because it is small enough to not intrude, but still offer powerful stimulation."

"Did you ever wish you had a wand that was powerful, but half the size?" says Stewart. "The Lovers Wonder Wand is just that. Most wands are pretty ginormous, but they deliver some serious power, which is why they are one of the top-selling and preferred toys. However, sometimes, they can be a little impractical or awkward and just too big. With this wand, you can place it in way more strategic ways than you can with a full size wand. You can easily place this wand between bodies and when you're masturbating; you can easily place it in a way that is incredibly convenient. It's extremely powerful and we all know that the use of power can get us where we want to go— sometimes faster than we intended. Another unique feature about this product is that it is entirely submersible, which means that you can enjoy this in the shower, tub, jacuzzi, or the lake and still get the power you need to feel pleasure. AND it's good for traveling, too! While wands sometimes have long cords, charge this up before you leave town for a moment and you'll be set to go! So if you need something powerful, submersible, and just the right size for all aspects of play, the Lovers Wonder Wand is for you!"

Rowntree also recommends this high-end wand, writing, "For a luxury experience that combines massage therapy with all the pleasure you can handle, Lelo’s Smart Wand 2 offers a sleek, body-soft silicone design and 10 different levels of intensity to let you edge for hours–or come as fast as you can!"

You haven't seen mini until you've seen this little guy from Emojibator. It has ten vibration settings, is fully waterproof, and fits in the palm of your hand, making it perfect for solo play on the go or for partner play! I gifted this to a friend for her Bachelorette, and have heard nothing but rave reviews since—from both her and her fiancé.

This product is a bestseller on Babeland, Amazon, and Svakom's website for both its versatile settings, long-lasting battery (it can provide up to two continuous hours of pleasure), detachable rabbit head, and its temperature-changing abilities. One reviewer writes that, as far as they're concerned, this is "the only [vibrator] you need."

This is a must-buy for those who love both wand and rabbit vibrators. Over 10,000 units of this bestselling toy have been sold on Adam and Eve's website. The reviews on this product are also absolutely ebullient, with one customer writing, of his partner, "I did not think it was possible for her to climax that hard, that fast."

Reviewers love this vibrator for its small, discrete size, removable sleeve (for easy cleaning), and its adjustable settings that make it great for beginners and advanced users alike. Plus, one customer helpfully writes, "The ears are flexible, but perfectly spaced apart for people with larger anatomy." We love an inclusive toy!

For the tech-savvy, this app-controlled wand is a must. Multiple customers comment on the toy's robust vibrations—which are strong even on the lowest setting—making it ideal for more experienced users. One reviewer aptly sums it up, writing, "This thing is wild. So strong. Can seriously make me orgasm in like two minutes."
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
For those who are new to the remote vibrator world, these products are state-of-the-art toys that can be controlled via a remote control or mobile application so that you don't need to press any buttons on the toy itself. They're excellent for people who have trouble with mobility as well as for couples, long-distance partner play, and people who just plain hate reaching around down there.
And no matter what type of pleasure you prefer, sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova assures us that there's something for everyone. "Remote vibrators come in a variety of designs from clitoral stimulators to dual stimulation couples' toys to anal toys," she says.
And what are the advantages of using a remote vibrator as opposed to a manual one? For one, they make solo play easier and more accessible for people who are injured, have disabilities, can't reach certain spots, enjoy clandestine pleasure from toys like vibrating panties, or simply become tired after long-term repetitive movement. If you're interested in guidance on how, logistically, to use a remote vibrator, check out our handy guide on how to use a vibrator.
For those interested in partner play, remote vibrators also have the capacity to enhance intimacy. Dr. Laurie Mintz, a therapist and sexpert, tells us, "Research shows that couples who engage in novel activities together have more satisfaction and enhanced relationship quality. A remote vibrator can be such a novel activity," she says, pointing out that partners who try new experiences together can enjoy deepened "intimacy, closeness, and satisfaction."
Plus, the new sensations of remote vibrators can help get you out of a sexual rut. "We often get used to the same stimulation for orgasm (e.g., I do this, you do that) and while it can be reliable, it can also get mundane," says Dr. Mintz. "A remote vibrator can introduce you to new sensations and break up that monotony, even if you don’t orgasm (e.g., the sensations don’t hit the mark). Additionally, for many people the idea of handing over control to their (trusted) partner is exciting. Of course, like any sexual activities that entail handing over control (e.g., BDSM), it’s important to establish boundaries and even a clear word that signals you want the person to stop what they are doing."
Another advantage of using remote vibrators? A feeling of playfulness. Dr. Jess O'Reilly, a sexologist for Lovehoney, points out, "Not only does a remote control vibe allow you to weave eroticism throughout your day, but it often inspires you to flirt, tease, build anticipation and be more creative. Playfulness helps to break up the mundanity of routine and stress of real life—rather than just talking about your work, family and schedules, you find new conversations to explore when you inject playfulness into your routine. Couples who are playful have happier relationships and it pays off in the bedroom in terms of openness, exploration and a willingness to experiment and take risks."
So, what are you waiting for? Scroll on to see the all-time best remote vibrators for every sexual preference, whether you're engaging in solo play, exploring, or spicing up a relationship.

"The We-Vibe Chorus is the original (and world’s top-selling) couples’ vibe," says Dr. O'Reilly. "It’s designed to be worn during P-V [penis-vaginal] intercourse, offering vibes against the G-zone internally, the clitoris externally, and the shaft of the penis or strap-on upon penetration."

Dr. Mintz, an acclaimed sexpert and author, recommends this vibrator because of its "simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation." She adds that it also works well as a vibrating panty that can be used "at home or out, internally, and externally."

Dr. O'Reilly also recommends this toy from We-Vibe, noting that "remote toys aren’t only for clitorises." Whether you're trans, nonbinary, or partnered with a penis-owner, consider this ring, which Dr. O'Reilly says "can be adjusted to suit your size/tastes as it envelops the entire base of the penis and extends down below around the scrotal sac. It offers 10 intensity levels and can be used to tease and build desire from afar using the We-Connect app."

Dr. Laurie Mintz says that she loves "any of LELO's Tiani vibrators," but this is one of her favorite because of its ability to stimulate both partners during sex. Because the toy is meant to be inserted in the vagina, it also provides g-spot and clitoral stimulation much in the way a traditional rabbit vibrator would, only this can be worn during sex and comes with a handy remote control. One reviewer says it "enhances" sex, and multiple reviews recommend it for people who are just beginning to introduce sex toys to their partner play repertoire because of its gentle vibration options.

This is another recommendation from Dr. Mintz. Designed as a vibrating panty, the product fits perfectly inside any standard pair of underwear

This uniquely shaped remote toy is great for people with all types of anatomy because of its bendability, and it's an ultimate hands-free experience. According to one reviewer, "This toy is seriously amazing for those who hate holding a vibrator directly or prefer someone holding it for you! I love how it's hands free and you're able to bend and adjust it."

Suki Dunham, who founded sexual wellness brand Ohmibod and created the original Music Vibrator, loves this option. "The wearable Bluetooth App-controlled vibrator is perfect for remote play whether you are across the room or across the country," she says. "Esca 2's integrated LED lights up and corresponds to the vibrations – letting your partner see exactly what kind of good vibrations they are sending your way."

According to Babeland co-founder Claire Cavanah,, this vibrator "can be worn during sex, is more flexible and powerful, and can be operated with an app that also works remotely. That means your partner can control your vibrator even when you're far apart."

This prostate massager is a big online favorite, pleasing beginners and advanced users alike for its ability to ease into the rectum. One reviewer calls it "low-hassle," and others laud how easily it can be cleaned.

This toy is fantastic for sex between two people with vaginas, allowing both partners to simultaneously experience g-spot and clitoral stimulation. One reviewer highly recommends it, calling it a "10/10" and noting that the vibrator is quiet and well-made.

This is the top-selling remote toy on Adam & Eve's website, with one reviewer calling it "terrific" and raving that she and her partner absolutely love using it.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Not sure when would be the best time to break out the vibrating panty? These toys are known for the role they can play in turning up the temperature within a sexual relationship by introducing elements of surprise and mild exhibitionism. This can be valuable in a committed, long term relationship that needs a bit of spicing up or simply between partners (serious or not) who enjoy a bit of adventure. Indeed, sexologist and sexpert Dr. Jess O'Reilly says that introducing sex toys such as vibrating panties "can enhance all sexual relationships―with yourself and with a partner," explaining that "the mere presence of a sex toy often leads to new conversations about everything from desires and fantasies to boundaries and hesitations."
No partner? No problem. Sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova argues that vibrating panties can be valuable tools in mixing up your masturbation routine.
"Vibrating panties aren't just for partner play," she says. "You can use them for a solo, hands-free masturbation session. You can have the vibrator in your panties and use it while grinding or humping another surface for added stimulation."
So, without further ado, check out the best vibrating panties on the market for both internal and external stimulation. And if you need more insight on how to make the best of your vibrating panty purchases, check out our guide on how to use every kind of vibrator.

"While not specifically marketed as a vibrating panty but more a remote-control vibrator, I like LELO’s IDA Wave, which provides simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation," says author and sexpert Dr. Laurie Mintz. "Because of the way it fits, you can place it and the put your panties on and off you go. You can have fun at home or out, internally, and externally."

"This is the ultimate panty vibe with deep, rumbly vibrations," says Dr. Jess O'Reilly. "It’s powerful, quiet, slim and really discreet. You can control it from the toy directly or remotely from the We-Connect app (so there is no limit to the distance between partners). It’s whisper-quiet and has a tiny magnet that holds it in place (the toy goes in your underwear and the flat magnet sits on the outside, so it won’t slip around."

Dr. Mintz recommends this "specific clitoral vibrating panty," which also comes highly recommended by verified buyers online. One reviewer specifically recommends it for long distance relationships because of its app-enabled play, and notes that the toy has a surprisingly long battery life.

This fun (and pretty) wearable vibrator is shaped like a butterfly and is made of "jelly"-like (in the words of one reviewer) material in order to hit all the right external spots and mold to the individual's anatomy. Plus, reviews say that the straps are adjustable and easy to put on, guaranteeing a hassle-free good time.

I love Honey Birdette's sex toys and lingerie, and this vibrating panty seamlessly combines the two. The lacy panty comes in both red and black, and the removable vibrator is, in the words of one customer, "sensational."

This option got great reviews in terms of the strength of the orgasm it provides, but customers determined that its buzzy stimulation was too loud for public use. However, the vibrator's strength and the bow ties on its accompanying underwear make it an ideal fit for foreplay, FaceTime sex, and other private moments.

We love a comfortable pair of underwear, and these vibrating panties fit the bill. Comfortable enough to wear outside (rather than just for sex), reviewers say that they enjoy donning these at the mall, the movies, the club, and more. One particular customer helpfully added that the vibration is "no louder than a cell phone on the highest vibrating function" and that the battery life of the vibrator lasts for two to three hours of continuous use.

This vibrator has a near-perfect online rating, and it's built for discretion: Its accompanying remote comes with a smartwatch function so that you or your partner can discretely control its vibrations in public. No one has to know a thing!

This vibrator is designed to deliver silent, rumbly vibrations that are subtle enough for public use. One reviewer says that she enjoys wearing it on the plane, in restaurants, and in other public spaces, and say that the vibrations are soft enough that she doesn't need to worry about getting too excited and causing a scene.

This product utilizes magnetic wings to stay strapped in, making it intuitive for anyone who's ever worn a pad. One five-star reviewer said that the volume level was low enough for the vibrator to be used in a restaurant but too loud to be used in a silent elevator. Furthermore, they enthusiastically recommended this for people with female partners, saying, "Buy this, buy it now, and be ready for her to want rip your clothes off."
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Let's start with the basics: Certified sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova defines a vibrator as "a motorized sex toy that can used on the body, typically for sexual stimulation, by offering vibration or other forms of stimulation." These vibrations can often be adjusted to different speeds, patterns, and levels of intensity. Other forms of stimulation also include suction (often incorporated into clitoral stimulation toys) and bursts of air.
LELO sexpert and NYU professor of Human Sexuality Dr. Zhana Vrangalova says that these sensations feel so good because "our genital areas contain a large number of nerve endings that are quite sensitive to different types of touch." Furthermore, she explains, "Vibrating sex toys are basically motors that run at different frequencies (low to high), creating a unique form of stimulation that can't really be replicated with other implements (like hands, mouths, genitals etc.)."
And because people like to be touched in varying ways and spots, there are a number of different sex toys on the market employing unique shapes, forms of stimulation, technologies, and techniques. Below, we consult sexperts, sex educators, and more to unpack how to use each type of vibrator,
If you're not sure which type of vibrator is right for you, Dr. Vrangalova suggests, "Ask yourself what kind of stimulation you enjoy with other implements (hands, mouths, penises etc) and how you masturbate. Do you stick to clitoral stimulation only or do you like to have something inside your vagina as well as on your clit? Do you like outside anal stimulation? Do you like things inside your vagina and/or anus?"
So long as you're not hurting anyone, there is no right or wrong way to desire or experience pleasure, she reminds us. Founder & Director of ethical feminist porn site Sssh.com Angie Rowntree agrees, elaborating, "For some women, clitoral stimulation is the “tried and true” way for them to experience orgasm–because that’s just how their body is. It’s totally normal and ok if you cannot orgasm from penetrative sex alone, or actually prefer clitoral stimulation to penetration. By contrast, some women experience such an intense degree of clitoral sensitivity that they would prefer internal stimulation with occasional manual strokes of their clitoris—so literally, it’s 'different strokes for different folks!'"
Indeed, the only non-negotiable qualities one should look for in a vibrator are that it's "strong enough to be felt by our nerve endings, and made of a material that are body safe, durable, and easy to clean." Rowntree adds that safety is also paramount. "Don’t skimp on lube," she urges, "and don’t forget to clean up after to ensure hygiene and longevity [of your toy's shelf life]."
A wand vibrator is one of the most distinctive-looking and popular vibrators on the market. Frye-Nekrasova describes it as "a vibrator with a long handle and typically a round or oblong shaped head that the vibration is felt through."
According to sexologist and Lovers sexpert Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a wand is a great choice for those who enjoy non-penetrative stimulation that concentrates instead on their clitoris. It's also fabulous for those who "want a vibrator that is not 'phallic' as such and can also be used to stimulate other external body parts (like teasing your nipples or gently massaging your partner’s back, etc)." She adds that wands "are quite versatile―not to mention intense!"
Frye-Nekrasova also applauds the versatility of the wand vibrator, adding, "You can use them for direct stimulation of genitals; you can use them for body massages around the shoulders and the back; you can use them for any and all erogenous zones, such as the nipples and inner thighs."

"We would be remiss not to recommend this 'next gen' model of the toy that started the wand phenomenon," says Rowntree. "This version offers four intensities and four patterns, an easy-to-clean silicone head, plus cordless with plug-and-play option. Do bear in mind: this is NOT a waterproof toy, but that’s hardly a dealbreaker. The reviews you see from satisfied ‘Magic Wand’ devotees are not a coincidence!"

Frye-Nekrasova says that this option "is a great choice thanks to its size. Since it is a mini it is not a giant leap in size from a bullet massager, but it introduces a new design and power to the user. The size is also great for partner play because it is small enough to not intrude, but still offer powerful stimulation."
According to Frye-Nekrasova, "a bullet vibrator is a small, handheld, typically cylindrical, sex toy that can be used for direct, pinpointed stimulation on the body." To be even more specific, sexologist and sexpert for Lovers Marla Renee Stewart says that this type of vibrator is typically "small in size, less than 2 inches, and typically oval in shape."
And why is it called a bullet, exactly? Angie Rowntree says that it's precisely because of their traditional elliptical or cylindrical shape. However, she adds, "Nowadays, there are many types of bullet vibrators; some are a bit larger, some made for penetration, and some with attachments, so they've come a long way from the traditional small vibrating oval."
Rowntree goes on to explain that bullet vibrators, unlike G-spot and rabbit vibrators, are designed for external stimulation rather than penetration. "They are designed to provide targeted intense external stimulation," she says. "If holding a bullet vibe directly over your clitoris is too intense, try experimenting with indirect placement (like the top of the clitoral hood) or try holding it horizontally."
And if you're in the mood to get creative, there's a world of stimulating possibilities outside of the bullet's traditional uses. Frye Nekrasova suggests experimenting with using a bullet vibrator on other erogenous zones "such as the clitoris, nipples, perineum, and more for sexual stimulation. They can be used by just holding them directly on the area, rubbing them around the area, or using them over clothes."
Wondering if a bullet vibrator is the right sex toy for you? AASECT Certified sex therapist Shamyra Howard says, "A bullet is often recommended to people who have never used a vibrator before because it’s easily accessible, inexpensive, and provides fantastic clitoral stimulation." Meanwhile, Rowntree adds that this vibrator is a great option for those who are "looking for a toy that’s 'small and mighty' and not too intimidating to beginners, a bullet vibe is a great choice. Bullet vibes allow you to find all your sweet spots and really hone in on them."
Another advantage of bullet vibrators? Their subtlety. Howard points out that "they are immensely portable and discreet if you need to sneak in a quick pleasure break during lunch or pack for travel."

"Perfect for beginners and seasoned connoisseurs alike, the Desire Luxury rechargeable bullet vibe is sleek, powerful, and totally discreet," raves Rowntree. "You can enjoy the tapered tip or 'broad strokes' when it is laid horizontally. With 3 speeds and 17 patterns, you can find your fantasy–and feel it however you want!"

Looking for something a little more intense? Frye-Nekrasova says, "For advanced users, the Tango X comes with a real punch and strong vibrations that penetrate through the skin to stimulate the entire clitoris (even the internal portions). The silicone at the base of the vibrator makes it easy to hold the vibrator without the vibrations going into your hand and dulling the experience."
Rabbit vibrators are among the most popular sex toys on the market, but what are they and what do they have to do with rabbits?
"A rabbit vibrator is a classic sex toy that originally was designed with a long insertable portion for the vaginal canal and an outer clitoral stimulation portion that looked like bunny ears," explains Frye-Nekrasova. "Over the decades the designs have changed where some rabbits now don't have the traditional bunny ears, but they still have the dual stimulation with an insertable portion and an outer portion that touches the clitoris."
In short, a rabbit vibrator is a vibrator that stimulates both the G-spot (internal) and the clitoris (external) at the same time when in use.
"To use a rabbit vibrator you are going to insert the longer arm of the toy into the vaginal canal (be sure to use lube to ease and enhance the pleasure)," Frye-Nekrasova continues. "You will adjust how deep the insertable portion is so that the outer portion touches the clitoris. Some rabbits are designed so that the insertable portion is adjustable to ensure that it hits the right spots for your body." An adjustable function is also great for those who don't like deep penetration or are still getting used to penetrative play.
But if you're having trouble getting the logistics of this toy right, Stewart says that there are options when it comes to using it. The first, she says, is "to make sure that you put the penetrative piece inside first, start the vibration, and place the other part on the clit and start that vibration." If that doesn't work for you, she says that an alternative is to "use the clitoral piece to stimulate the clit, and then when you're ready, you can put the penetrative piece in and start that one up." Remember, practice makes perfect, and every body is different!
When it comes to safety, though, Rowntree says, "To use a dual action toy safely, lube up and let the swirling shaft tease your vaginal entrance or pleasure you internally while the clitoral stimulator delivers good vibes. Again, this is a toy for both penetration and clitoral stimulation, not designed for body massage or anal play."
And when you choose your lube, remember to pay attention to what it's made of! Stewart points out that most rabbit vibrators are made of silicone, so be sure to avoid silicone-based lubes in order to prevent your toys from degrading.

"Hats off to Lioness for creating a truly customizable toy engineered by women, for women," says Rowntree. "Its tungsten steel motor produces nice 'rumbly' and powerful vibrations, and the soft, medical grade silicone exterior is designed to make your clit and G-spot sing together, while allowing you to switch up the angle of penetration."

Marla Renee Stewart calls this vibrator "really well-rounded," explaining, "Once you insert this particular vibrator, the second stimulator can either be on your clitoris or on your mons pubis. Either way, the stimulation will be pleasurable."
The best G-spot vibrators can induce incredible pleasure for women who enjoy penetration, but first it's important to unpack what a G-spot is, how to find it, and how to use a G-spot
"The G-spot is one of the most talked-about erogenous zones," explains Howard. "Most people want to know where it’s located and how to stimulate it." But this desire brings up the oft-debated question: What is the G-spot, and where is it?
"The G-spot is said to be a sensitive area located at least two to three inches inside the vagina," Howard continues. "One way to stimulate the area is by using a finger in the 'come here' motion. New theories suggest that the G-spot is actually a part of the internal clitoris. Some people report intense orgasms when this area is stimulated."
Not only does this information help when engaging in partner play, but it's also useful in understanding how those of us with vaginas can bring ourselves pleasure. If you're interested in exploring G-spot pleasure, though, the first step is gently exploring your vagina to find where exactly your G-spot is.
"Everyone's G-spot is in a different place, so just because someone says they found it by going 2 inches in and 1 inch up, yours might not necessarily be in that space," Stewart explains. "With that said, once you find your g-spot, then you want to stimulate it by providing pressure with the vibrator while it's vibrating. You can move it around, move it in and out, stimulating the outside of the vaginal canal, too. However, purposeful pressure and stimulation is best coupled with erotic breathing to help you relax and get you the orgasm you desire."
Frye-Nekrasova adds, "To use a G-spot vibrator, you are going to want to apply lube to the toy and then insert it into the vaginal canal. You can insert it and just leave it while it vibrates, or you can also repeatedly thrust the toy in and out while vibrating for added stimulation."

Frye-Nekrasova calls the Rave a "great option" for partner play, explaining, "You can use it handheld with your partner or use the app to control it from a distance." Unlike most G-spot vibrators, this toy is designed to be used with a twisting motion for uniquely mind-blowing pleasure.

Shamyra Howard says that this vibrator is a great option and that it "provides direct G-spot stimulation for increased arousal and intense orgasms."
Stewart says that she specifically recommends suction toys for beginners. These unique products are designed to mimic oral sex by providing gentle (and often adjustable) suction and sometimes even air pulsations to the clitoris. In addition to more high-end, luxury sex toy options that feel like the real thing, she says that those who are on a budget or are unsure of what they like can " try something like a cheap traveling pulsator to see if you like it."
But what's the best way to use this toy, you ask? "For beginners with vulvas," she says, "I suggest using toys that are appropriate for their clitoral size and shape. Laying on your stomach and using a vibrator or suction toy is a great way to start. Once that feels good to you, then you want to go for the upgraded versions with more bells and whistles, such as the Womanizer Duo, that allows you to feel all the feels through penetration and the air pulse."

Angie Rowntree says that she "would be remiss to not recommend" this toy." She explains, "Aesthetically pleasing and designed to immerse you in sensual luxury, it features 'gentle air vibrations that can deliver sucking and massage sensations.' So if you want to skip Space Camp and go walk on the Moon tonight, go Womanizer!"

Dr. Vrangalova calls the effects of this toy (along with its sister-toy, the Sona 2 Cruise) "mind-blowing for those interested in trying out the sonic pulsator-type toys." However, she warns, "This has been known to lead many folks to squirt, so get ready for that."
If you're interested in expanding your sex toy repertoire or if you want a creative way of using sex toys with a partner, consider a remote vibrator. Frye-Nekrasova tells us, "A remote vibrator is a vibrator that is controlled by a remote control, which can be a small handheld remote or app-controlled from a mobile device." Thus, it's worth checking on how the vibrator is controlled before purchasing the product so that you can ensure that it meets your hardware needs (i.e., if you and/or your partner don't have smartphones, you shouldn't get a remote vibrator that's controlled via mobile app).
The world of remote vibrators is also vast and accommodating. Frye-Nekrasova assures us that "remote vibrators come in a variety of designs from clitoral stimulators to dual stimulation couples' toys to anal toys."
And why opt for a remote vibrator? Howard says that these toys "work really well with a partner controlling the motions. Several app-control vibrators work well on dates and for people in long-distance relationships."
"The We-Vibe Chorus is the original (and world’s top-selling) couples’ vibe," says sex and relationship expert Dr. Jess O'Reilly PhD. "It’s designed to be worn during P-V [penis-vaginal] intercourse, offering vibes against the G-zone internally, the clitoris externally, and the shaft of the penis or strap-on upon penetration."
"I also recommend the We-Vibe Bond," says Dr. O'Reilly. "This wearable ring can be adjusted to suit your size/tastes as it envelops the entire base of the penis and extends down below around the scrotal sac. It offers 10 intensity levels and can be used to tease and build desire from afar using the We-Connect app."
Vibrating panties are a specific type of remote vibrator that Frye-Nekrasova explains "are designed to sit in the underwear and stimulate the clitoris." She explains, "They can come with a specific panty or be designed to fit into any and all panties. You use them by placing them in the portion of the panties that sits against the clitoris or other parts of the vulva you want to stimulate." From there, she says, you or a partner "can control the functions with the remote that comes with the panties or the vibe."
Dr. Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., who is a sexpert for LELO and author of Becoming Cliterate & A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex, further elaborates that some vibrating panties are controlled via mobile app, and that many standalone vibrating panties (standalone meaning that the panties are not included at purchase) employ "a magnet or magnetic wings that attach to your underwear like the wings of some sanitary pads." Other times, she says, vibrating panties can be "integrated, meaning that they come with underwear with a discreet pocket to put the vibrator in. Most target clitoral stimulation, but some can be used for either external or external stimulation."

Dr. O'Reilly raves that this vibrator is "the ultimate panty vibe with deep, rumbly vibrations." Furthermore, she says, "It’s powerful, quiet, slim, and really discreet. You can control it from the toy directly or remotely from the We-Connect app (so there is no limit to the distance between partners). It’s whisper-quiet and has a tiny magnet that holds it in place (the toy goes in your underwear and the flat magnet sits on the outside, so it won’t slip around."

Dr. Mintz loves this product, recommending, "If you are looking for a specific clitoral vibrating panty, marketed as such, I’d recommend Lovesense Ferri."
Anal stimulation can be highly pleasurable for people of all genders, but it's important to be prepared before experimenting with your new anal toys―including anal vibrators.
"The first thing you have to do to use an anal vibrator is get your lube," says Frye-Nekrasova. "The anus is not self-lubricating so you always need lube. The next important step is to anal train to get your anus prepared and ready to anal toys. Once you are comfortable and your sphincters are relaxed you will apply lube to the toys and your anus and slowly insert the toy. When it is in place and comfortable, you can turn on the vibration settings."
If you're unsure about how to anal train, check out some of our favorite anal toys we've compiled, including beginner anal vibrators and trainer kits.
Frye-Nekrasova also reminds us, "It is important to note that it is not an anal toy if it does not have a flared base. Anal toys have flared bases to make sure they don't go all the way into the rectum and get lost requiring a trip to the ER." Rowntree seconds this point, adding, "If you want to enjoy vaginal penetration, do not use a toy designed for external use only (i.e. wand or bullet), and don’t ever use anal toys in the vagina. If you want to explore 'butt stuff,' definitely be sure to use toys designed for that purpose." Safety is sexy!

"For anal stimulation, you can’t go wrong with a vibrating butt plug," advises Howard. "Like all vibrators, these also have varying intensities and levels. Beginners would love the Rocks Off Teazer Petite Sensations Vibrating Butt Plug."

"For the more experienced folks, I recommend the Loki Wave (especially for solo play, since it has a nice long handle)," says Dr. Vrangalova.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
With that in mind, we've compiled a guide to the best sex toys from across the internet, with attention to the fact that not everyone experiences or seeks pleasure in the same way. We've also tapped doctors, sex toy founders, and sex tech connoisseurs for their advice on all things sex toy, so that you can feel secure in your purchases, engage in fear-free exploration, and have your best sexperience yet.
For me, masturbation is an important part of feminism and female equality. The sexual education in this country too often takes female pleasure completely out of the equation. When I was in middle school, my abstinence-only health teachers failed to teach me and my classmates about the existence of the clitoris or female orgasm. We were also told that sex ends with and only takes place for the express purpose of the male orgasm―a strategy that The Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine says "reinforce[s] gender stereotypes about female passivity and male aggressiveness" and "undermine[s] public health goals and the safe transition of young people into sexually healthy adults."
As a society, when we not only decentralize but erase female pleasure from conversations about sex, many women never realize that sex can and should be enjoyable for them, and they never discover what they do and don't like. And by normalizing sexual encounters that are unpleasant (or just plain boring) for women, we open the door to normalizing coercive and abusive sexual relationships, too.
There are also a number of health benefits associated with sex, masturbation, and female pleasure in general. “Both masturbation and orgasms have a multitude of physical and mental effects on the body that can provide pain relief," says Johanna Rief, Head of Sexual Empowerment at sex toy brand Womanizer. "Both acts release dopamine, reducing stress." She goes on to point out that masturbation even helps with PMS and menstrual discomfort: "The muscle movements during orgasm, alongside the fact that orgasming stimulates your metabolism and blood circulation, minimizes the painful sensations of menstrual cramping.”
Dr. Amanda Olson, pelvic floor specialist and President/Chief Clinical Officer at Intimate Rose, adds that "the process of arousal helps to bring blood flow to the entirety of the muscles and nerves in those areas as well as the lymphatic system, which is really helpful to the overall health of those structures. Bringing in blood flow brings in oxygen and helps with flexibility, pliability, and overall relaxation." The pelvic floor muscles, which provide support beneath important organs like the bladder, vagina, uterus, and rectum, are also strengthened by the contractions comprising the female orgasm, and Dr. Olson says that this pelvic workout helps maintain continence as well as the musculo-skeletal health our spines need for daily activities like "getting in and out of our cars and picking things up without experiencing incontinence or pressure."
Still not convinced? Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Lovehoney Sexologist & Relationship Expert, adds: "Masturbation, pleasure, and orgasm in particular, also promote more restful sleep—which has its own set of health benefits. Notably, those who rest well have better cardiovascular and mental health, alongside lower blood pressure and stress levels. Pleasure also has the capacity to boost your mood, which can improve cognition, focus and patience (which of course can benefit relationships)."
"I always remind people that there are a lot of different ways to wrap a present, and there are a lot of different ways to explore your sexual self," says Dr.Olson.
When you're looking for a sex toy, Cole reminds clients to "go [their] way and remember that there is no 'normal'!" Instead of getting hung up on those preconceived notions about what pleasure should be, she says that, when buying a sex toy, you should ask yourself a few main questions. "Are you going to be using it by yourself or with a partner? Do you want a toy that is internal, external, or both? Answering these questions will help you narrow down which type of toy to look for."
Beyond those basics, she advises to pay close attention to texture and quality. "I always aim for quality over quality. While you can get good quality for $30-50, always buy from reputable companies that provide transparency on materials and manufacturing. Choose a non-porous material like 100 percent silicone, metal, ceramic, glass, or wood. Materials like rubber and jelly can trap unwanted bacteria in pores which can lead to infections like thrush and bacterial vaginosis―all the things you want to avoid. If you would like to try something soft and skin-like, try silicone. Both glass and metal have a solid, smooth feel and are good for temperature play, meaning you can heat or cool them for extra sensation."
Bryony Cole tells first-timers not to complicate things: "If it’s your first toy, my tip for choosing is to start small and start simple!" Below, check out a few of our favorite gentle, simple-yet-versatile toys that are perfect for those who are just beginning to explore the world of sex toys.

You can choose Zumio products based on the type of sensation you prefer―whether that's "long and slow," "soft and gentle," "quick and fast," and so on. This particular model promises broad, even stimulation, and for that reason it's great for those still discovering where they most like to be touched.

This is one of Emojibator's "beginner vibrators," and is shaped like an eggplant to make your sexual experience more playful and lighthearted. According to reviews, it's also quiet, well-made, and has a surprising number of settings.
Kris Fretz, co-feounder of sex toy brand Emojibator, advises buyers to pay close attention to materials, shape, and texture when purchasing a new vibrator. "The materials and shape of the vibrator are often the most influential factors in how vibrators impact everyone differently," she says. "Personally, I’m more sensitive to the vibrator’s texture vs. intensity, so I look for toys that are made with medical grade silicone so they are safe for bodily insertion. Sometimes a toy can be made with other materials such as metal, and in those cases it’s important to not overuse the toy beyond the recommended usage time and spare your most sensitive areas from burning up!"
And if vibrators are your jam and you're looking for a more comprehensive list of the greatest ones on the market, check out our compilation of the all-time best vibrators, including ones that suit clitoral, g-spot, and anal stimulation, regardless of your experience level.

This toy, with its suction function, is great for those who want to simulate the sensation of receiving oral sex. Reviews warn that the toy isn't exactly silent, but it sounds like it's worth it. One satisfied customer in particular wrote, "Don't know how l lived without it."

I know I said I'm not a vibrator girl, but this particular product changed the game. Enough said.
While some people vastly prefer the clitoral stimulation that many vibrators provide, others are devotees of penetration and therefore opt for toys like G-spot vibrators and dildos. "Preferences simply vary from one person to another," says Dr. O'Reilly. "Just as some people love oysters and others loathe them, personal tastes are highly varied." If you're concerned about the messiness of penetrative toys, keep in mind our aforementioned clean-up tips, and keep an eye on what your toys are made of, too. "Silicone or borosilicate glass toys are good options, as they can be cleaned easily," Dr. O'Reilly reminds us. "ABS plastic and stainless steel are also good choices. Porous materials (jelly, plastic, rubber, PVC) are harder to clean, so you can always use condoms with these toys for ease of cleanup."

This piece sits inside your vagina and is curved to hit your G-spot just right. With 10 different vibration settings, this little toy can go a long way, and you can bet that the brand, plusOne, will do you right: It's been rated the #1 sexual massager brand by Nielsen.

This picture is worth a thousand words, but I'll add a few more: It's the closest thing to the real thing, for those who want a more traditional experience, as you can get. Nearly every reviewer on Lovehoney seems floored by how "realistic" the product feels inside of them.
Many women prefer to be stimulated by grinding against their hands or inanimate objects like pillows and furniture. This form of masturbation stimulates the clitoris indirectly, which is excellent for those who find direct clitoral stimulation overwhelming or even painful. "When you grind your lips against any object (from a vibrator to a lover’s pelvic bone), you’re likely stimulating the internal bulbs and legs of the clitoris. They’re comprised of erectile tissue―much like the penis, so it makes sense that the rubbing feels pleasurable," explains Dr. O'Reilly.
"Of course, almost any toy can be used 'off-label' for rubbing and grinding," she reminds us, but for an experience specifically catered to al your grinding needs, check out the pieces below.

This toy can be used over clothing and has optional vibration settings, so you can stimulate your clitoris and/or your vagina to whatever extent is most comfortable for you. It was also highlighted by Vice as an A1 option for humping and grinding―so long as you don't mind the large toy's lack of subtlety.

This vibrator is made to fit easily within the palm of your hand, and is designed with trans people in mind so that everyone, no matter their genitalia, can find a pleasure setting that suits their particular needs. One reviewer, a trans woman, gushes, "I've never wanted to play with a toy so often. Easy to clean, too. Highly recommended."
Sex toys aren't just for solo play, my friends! Dr. O'Reilly points out that "the mere presence of a sex toy often leads to new conversations about everything from desires and fantasies to boundaries and hesitations. These vulnerable conversations have the potential to deepen intimacy and connection. The novelty of a toy can also heighten passion, as it can offer a simple reminder to break your routine and try something new." Check out two A+ toys below, and if they leave you wanting more, take a look at our list of the best toys for partner play.

We've previously spotlighted this innovative vibrator, which is designed to strap into your vulva and deliver clitoral stimulation while allowing for penetration. You really can have it both ways, y'all.

This product is fantastic for those who don't want deep penetration, or who are experimenting with anal sex for the first time and want to ease into it. One customer review, who feared thwarted intimacy with her partner because of pain during penetration, even referred to these rings as her "sex savior." The rings slide onto the base of a penis or strap-on and can be added or removed with ease. Think stack rings, but sexy.
"Using remote-controlled sex toys is a great opportunity to explore eroticism throughout the day regardless of your location (for example, We-Vibe’s toys are app-enabled, meaning that partners can use their toys from any distance)," says Dr. O'Reilly. "They offer novel sensations and inspire playfulness which, in turn, creates stronger relationships because it improves openness and exploration."

There's a special pocket inside this pair of underwear so that you can secure this vibrator in place and let your partner (or yourself) control the sensations remotely. It's pleasure without taking your pants off! Who could ask for more?

This isn't your run-of-the-mill remote sex toy. The vibrations and sensations of one toy are meant to correspond with one another, so every time your partner moves around in or touches the touch pads on their device, you feel it in your own. In the words of Kiiroo's sexperts, this is enough to send each of you "over the edge."
According to a 2009 study published by Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, women who consensually engage in anal sex do so, first and foremost, to pursue pleasure―a point that is often overlooked and under-researched, resulting in what the authors call a "pleasure deficit." As a result, women are often made to feel ashamed for wanting to engage in anal stimulation and aren't sure where to begin.
Check out some of the best anal toys so that you can stimulate your senses, either alone or with a partner. Per Planned Parenthood's advice, though, "The anus doesn’t make enough lubrication on its own for comfortable anal sex, so it’s important to use plenty of lube. Go slowly. Stop if anything hurts and let your partner know how you feel — sex that’s painful or uncomfortable shouldn’t continue." This goes for all sex―solo or with a partner, no matter what part of the body you're focusing on!

For those who want to begin their journey with anal stimulation but don't know where to begin, this set provides three anal vibrator options of different sizes so that you can start as small as you need. According to both reviewers and the brand, this toy is ideal for those looking to "build up" to increased anal stimulation.

What one very satisfied customer refers to as "one of the bost anal toys on the market," these vibrating anal beads feature two separate motors, offering 15 different types of stimulation (!!) for your best anal O yet.
Dr. Olson reminds us that using sex toys does not necessarily need to lead up to penetration, sex, or even an orgasm. "Start slow by exploring the tissue in that area, and just gauge how your body responds to touch in a really slow manner, maintaining a nice, easy, steady breathing and pace," she advises. "It’s like being on a walk and thinking about different flowers or animals you notice one day as opposed to another. That thinking can occur with your sexual response, too: Maybe you can explore different types of lubricant and the goal can just be about seeing if you can relax completely, or steady your heartrate, or identify a new type of pressure that feels really good. Or maybe you notice something new today that doesn’t feel as good as it did before."
And for those who are buying a sex toy for the first time, or are overwhelmed by the incredible variety of what's out there, sex toy brand Zumio's Sextech expert, Bryony Cole, urges buyers to turn to authentic client reviews. "Reviews on the product site as well as on Reddit (r/sextoys) help you get a sense of how real people are enjoying the toys you are considering," she says.
This is an important and oft-overlooked aspect of using sex toys. If it's going anywhere near your genitals, it should be clean, my friends! Bryony Cole agrees: "Keeping your toys clean is important for toy lifespan (and your health!). Look for organic, water-based anti-bacterial cleaners that will be kind on your body and the sex toy. It’s always good to check your products, as some toy cleaners aren’t suitable. Ideally, opt for mild soap and warm water and you will be set."
Still don't know where to start? Explore options like this cleaning spray formulated specifically for sex toys, or these pH-balanced wipes that can be used on both toys and on your most intimate areas.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
"The Rabbit [went] viral by 1998, when Sex and the City saw Charlotte opting to stay home with her rabbit instead of deal with another bad date," she says. "These days, however, the market for dual action toys has radically expanded your options―and bunny ears are quite optional."
Indeed, rabbit vibrators now come in a variety of different shapes and sizes, and can be used during alone time or for partner play. Many are also more inclusive by offering strap-on and anal rabbit options, so that no matter what your sexuality, identity, or kink preference is, you'll undoubtedly find something that suits you.
Keep scrolling for the best rabbit vibrators according to sex experts and verified user reviews, and check out our guide on how to use a vibrator if you need a refresher on the logistics of it all.

LELO Soraya Rabbit Wave Vibrator $259 $167 | Amazon
This sexpert-approved vibrator boasts three motors and eight vibration settings for what Angie Rowntree calls "the ultimate blended orgasm." View Deal

Adam & Eve Butterfly Kiss $20 $13 | Adam & Eve
Reviewers recommend this heart-shaped option for both newcomers to sex toys and experienced toy users. Reviewers love it for its ability to deliver strong, consistent orgasms as well.View Deal

If you want a traditional rabbit vibrator, check out this one, which played a pivotal role in vibrator history. Rowntree explains that while rabbit vibrators and bunny-shaped clitoral stimulators hit the market in the 1980s, the toy "didn’t become popular with US consumers until around 1994 when Susan Colvin brought the Jack Rabbit toy design to her newly formed company, CalExotics." Behold, the classic.
Pros: sexpert-approved; thrusting; customizable vibration settings
Cons: isn't quiet
Customer Review: "The material it's made of feels so freaking soft. I've only used it twice and each time has been memorable. The thrust feels amazing and WHOA! Those little ears! This is my first Rabbit and I went big or home and this has made me a fan of Rabbit vibrators." -Adam & Eve

"The We-Vibe Nova 2 is a great rabbit vibrator for beginners, advanced users, and partner play," says sex educator and Lovehoney sex expert Javay Frye-Nekrasova. "The adjustable arm's flexibility allows for people to adjust it as they need regardless of experience level. The handle length allows for partners to take control of the toy and use it on their partner."
Pros: sexpert-approved; can be controlled via mobile app; waterproof; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: some customers say battery life isn't long enough
Customer Review: "Aside from the usual We-Vibe delights (great, easy to use app, and soft touch silicone), I am thrilled by how the shape and design really hit both the internal and external spots without feeling 'pokey'...I cannot recommend this baby enough." -Lovehoney

"Most great vibrators are made of silicone and this one is as well. If you're allergic to latex, no problem, as this vibrator does not contain any and it's phthalate-free, which means that it won't cause cancer," says Marla Renee Stewart, a sexpert for Lovers. "On top of that, it has a 50-minute run time if you want to have a long session and it has a 5-year warranty."
Pros: customizable vibration speeds and settings; sexpert-approved; good for all experience levels; easy to grip and use
Cons: some users who enjoy penetration find that it's not girthy enough
Customer Review: "My partner and I have never found a vibrator with settings that are gentle enough for me AND strong enough for them. This one has settings that are PERFECT for both of us!" -Lovers Stores

Rowntree loves this product, which she calls "cutting-edge." Furthermore, she says, "Lioness 2.0 is designed to deliver not only pleasure, but real biofeedback. The toy can be synced to their app and provide you with real data about your pleasure, because Lioness reads your pelvic floor movements (contracting and relaxing) as you reach orgasm." Talk about state-of-the-art!
Pros: high-tech; customizable; great for all experience levels
Cons: expensive
Customer Review: "This product is the bees knees. Able to track your orgasms and bodies responses to pleasure using 3 separate sensors. The app allows you to really get into the nitty gritty of what helps or hurts your orgasms. With tags like #smoked cigarettes or #got-high, even #stressful day, the Lioness is the cum nurse you never knew you wanted." -Lioness

"This sleek, modernized Rabbit is made from luxurious silky silicone that meshes with your body temperature," says Rowntree. "It still has 'vibrating pearls' that dance up and down the length of the shaft like the original Rabbit too, and the tip is also designed to hit all the right spots inside. The shaft and bunny ears have 3 speeds and functions that can be controlled separately so you can further customize your pleasure."
Pros: free of phthalates; customizable settings; sexpert-approved; silicone; waterproof; phallic part feels realistic
Cons: large and girthy, so some beginners find it overwhelming
Customer Review: "First off, it’s adorable. The color, the luxury feel of the silicone, the charger, everything. It’s fairly quiet; the beads are definitely louder than the vibrator. I had never used/owned a dildo before, and was made aware that this was uncomfortable for some women. When using it for me, I found it to be a bit uncomfortable at first, but with some lube it’s really fine. The beads are a bit intense, which I loved in use with the vibrator." -Amazon

"LELO’s Rabbit Wave is technically a 'triple action toy' with 8 vibrational settings, and three motors for the ultimate blended orgasm," Rowntree describes. "A 'non-bunny' Rabbit, the Soraya features a fully flexible arm with ultra-powerful vibrations for your clitoris–no matter what your body type. The Soraya's slightly curved shaft is also ideal for internal G-spot massage, as its 'WaveMotion technology surges in a finger-like motion' to deliver ultimate pleasure."
Pros: sexpert-approved; customizable; can be used hands-free; massage-like feel
Cons: big and girthy, so some beginner users find it overwhelming
Customer Review: "Wow, this truly is another level of toy. Absolutely worth the money—I don’t generally enjoy rabbit-type vibrators but this was a 10/10. This is coming from someone who for many years has relied on an old school Magic Wand. The fact that you can use it hands-free is a huge plus. Buy this!" -LELO

"If you have a small- to medium-sized clitoris and you like penetration, I suggest getting a rabbit vibrator like the Evolved Bunny Buddy," says Stewart, who explains that the toy "uses the ears to maximize the stimulation of the clitoris."
Pros: sexpert-approved; waterproof; phthalate-free; ten customizable settings; curved shaft for a realistic feel; anal-safe
Cons: some users ssay it's difficult to charge
Customer Review: "All of the settings are actually useful vs others where I would only use one. My new favorite. I'm a beginner and this has made me fall in love all over again. It hits all of the right spots and the results are way more than I expected." -Lovers Stores

Javay Frye-Nekrasova specifically recommends this option, saying, "For advanced users looking for multiple forms of stimulation the Womanizer Duo offers the best of both worlds with Air Pleasure technology and vibration."
Pros: non-phallic, so inclusive for all sexualities; high-tech; luxury; sexpert-approved
Cons: none identified
Customer Review: "I recently purchased the Duo for my wife. She has a little difficulty when it comes to orgasm with toys.
She was kind of hesitant about using this product. I told her, 'Let's use it for just a few minutes and see how you like it. If you don’t, we will not use it.' After 4 minutes I attempted to take it away and she stated, 'Don’t you dare move it'...Needless to say she is an extremely satisfied customer. Crazy intense orgasm." -Womanizer

LELO sexpert and NYU professor of Human Sexuality Dr. Zhana Vrangalova says that LELO’s Ina Wave 2 is "the way to go" for those looking for effective, high-quality "dual clit/vagina" stimulation.
Pros: quiet; doctor- and sexpert-approved
Cons: some users found the clitoral arm too firm
Customer Review: "Quite possibly the most impressive technological trifecta in the vibrator industry. This supple, ergonomically pleasing, and gently contoured fella does not waste time with moldings...It sticks to simple curved engineering harmony with premier materials and motors." -Amazon

If you're into double penetration during heterosexual partner play, this is the rabbit vibrator for you. Not only does it include a vibrating penetrative element for anal play (lube up!), but it also has a clitoral stimulator for triple the fun. Plus, reviewers say it's easy to clean and to maneuver while secured.
Pros: customizable, with two vibration speeds and five vibration patterns; made for mutual pleasure
Cons: some users say that the straps fit too tightly around the testicles (fit varies person to person)
Customer Review: "My wife and I have tried several toys designed to help her experience double penetration play without an extra in the bedroom. This by far has exceeded them all. She loves the vibration and the feeling of being filled in both holes. Built at the right angle and length for easy use and enjoyable for both of us." -Lovehoney

This rabbit vibrator is designed to pleasure the clitoris and g-spot of the person doing the penetrating. Rather than utilizing a harness like a traditional strap on would, this toy is secured within the vagina. When secured, the clitoral stimulator can reach the clitoris while the other end is used to penetrate a partner's vagina or rectum. Reviewers particularly recommend this product for satisfying female-female sex.
Pros: customizable, with twelve vibration speeds and eight vibration patterns;
Cons: not quiet
Customer Review: "Honestly a must for lesbian couples. We absolutely love it. It's not just good for us as a couple, but it works for solo use too. Only downside is that it can be a bit loud. However as a couple we found this toy really helped with our intimacy." -Lovehoney

Reviewers recommend this cute option for "newbies and non-newbies" alike. One person says that the toy is reliable in delivering consistent orgasms, while another points out that it gave her three in one night! Plus if you, like me, prefer consistent, smooth vibration patterns over ones that start and stop, this vibrator is perfect―all of its patterns are smooth.
Pros: good for all experience levels; affordable; works as a display piece; waterproof
Cons: some users wish the vibrations were more intense
Customer Review: This was my first toy ever and boy oh boy it is amazing! It hits everywhere perfectly. Gave me me first quirting orgasm ever (and many more since). I would recomend this to everyone." -Adam & Eve

If you enjoy clitoral, G-spot, and anal stimulation, and are looking to experience all three at the same time, consider this option from Happy Rabbit. One reviewer calls it an "orgasm machine," and another calls it the best vibrator ever. However, several reviews point out that you should always ensure that both penetrative elements are well-lubricated before use, and a few mention that this toy is not for beginners to anal play.
Pros: nine intensity patterns for the clitoral section and another nine for the penetrative shafts; long battery life; great for partner and solo play
Cons: may be too intense for beginners
Customer Review: "My wife was intrigued when she saw this in an email advertisement, as she was just starting to dabble with double penetration. Fast forward to over a year later, and the rest of our toys are sad and lonely, as she only wants to use this to have core starting, toe curling, hip raising orgasms. If you or your partner like anal stimulation at all, buy this toy. You won't regret it." -Babeland

Did you know that Playboy recently launched its own sex toy collection? And the line truly has something for everybody. This vibrator in particular uses a traditional rabbit vibrator design, but adds a third unique, flutter arm that's safe for both internal and external stimulation. The flutter arm itself has ten distinct rhythms and speeds, three thrusting speeds, and seven clitoral settings;
Pros: customizable vibration patterns; unique build; waterproof; free of latex and phthalates; editor-approved
Cons: made for deep penetration, so may be too long for some users
My Review: Unfortunately, I've often found that traditional rabbit vibrators' clitoral arms are too stiff to adjust so that they hit the right spots. This toy, on the other hand, is made to be customized, and its vibrations are powerful enough to stimulate all the right spots even if the arms move a little out of place during intense play. Plus, the flutter arm adds a unique, powerful kick to ensure that the job gets done no matter what.

This dual-stimulation vibrator has a bendable arm that allows you to use it for g-spot, clitoral, or dual stimulation, making it perfect for users of all experience levels, preferences, and anatomical differences. It's also waterproof, has ten levels of intensity, and includes a suction function that mimics oral stimulation.
Pros: non-phallic; inclusive; bendable; good for partner play and solo play; clitoral suction technology; customizable vibration levels
Cons: none identified
Customer Review: "My boyfriend and I are very pleased. It's difficult to find a good couple vibrator, but we both like this one very much. The surface of the material is great, very smooth and adapts well to the movements. The performance from the batteries did not disappoint, the vibrator has a lot of power and thanks to the many levels you can really vary it. What convinced me the most is that you can use it alone or with your partner, and in several positions." -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
But what sets a G-spot vibrator apart from its fellow sex toys?
"A G-spot vibrator is different from other vibrators because its primary focus is to stimulate the G-spot," says Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and sexpert for Lovers. "Some use vibration only, while some use thrusting and vibration for stimulation. Trying the different ones helps you to decide which vibrator is best for you."
Angie Rowntree, the founder and director of ethical porn site Sssh.com, adds that this type of vibrator is "designed with a curved shaft to arouse the G-spot in women" and is "close cousins of the dual action vibrators that aim to please your G-spot and clitoris simultaneously [a.k.a. rabbit vibrators]," but is particularly suited to those who enjoy penetration and/or who find the clitoral stimulation too intense.
But what is a G-spot exactly, and how do you find it? And once you find it, how do you know which G-spot toy is right for you? To answer these questions and more, we consulted sexperts, sexologists, and even employed our own personal experience to help you learn everything you need to know about the mysterious G-spot, how to stimulate it, and the best toys on the market for your most satisfying G-spot orgasm yet. For more specific guidance, you can also check out our guide on how to use a vibrator, which includes a section devoted to the G-spot variety.
The G-spot is the source of countless arguments, discussions, and pop culture phenomena. Some say it's an extension of the clitoris, some say that only certain women have one, and others claim it doesn't exist. The existence of the G-spot vibrator, however, along with the testimony of countless women, leads me to contend that there is, indeed, a G-spot, and it's worth learning about.
"The g-spot, also known as the Gräfenberg spot, was 'discovered' by a German doctor named Ernst Gränfenberg (hence 'g-spot') in 1953," Rowntree tells us. She goes on to explain, "The g-spot is located a few inches inside the front (anterior) vaginal wall. When aroused, it becomes swollen and can lead to intense orgasms and even squirting."
Stewart, on the other hand, says that the g-spot can be known as "the female prostate, the clitoral-urethral-vaginal (CUV) complex, the urethral sponge, and so on," and says that the g-spot is "simply the prostate―the thing that is connected to your bladder and urethra" while simultaneously admitting, "Technically, we could argue that all stimulation is clitoral stimulation because of the clitoris and its external and internal parts."
Confusing? Yes, we know. Female pleasure is unbelievably understudied, and therefore society's understanding of it is largely anecdotal. Stewart admits, "The g-spot can sometimes be contested because it is different on every single body and placed in a different spot on every single body." Rowntree, meanwhile, points out, "Some sexologists, especially the renowned Dr. Ruth, have expressed skepticism about its existence, and are also concerned that the pressure to find the g-spot and orgasm with it can cause performance anxiety that sabotages pleasure."
Indeed, many vagina owners (and their partners) feel like failures if they cannot bring about an orgasm through penetration. In reality, it's completely normal for women to have specific and differing needs when it comes to sexual pleasure, including a preference for clitoral rather than g-spot stimulation.
"There’s a whole world of pleasure points on a woman’s body, so never feel like you are limited," says Rowntree, "Explore what feels right for you and don’t worry about comparing how your body and pleasure works to what works for someone else."
But for those who do enjoy penetration (or who think they would), and are curious about finding their g-spot, there's a way of pinning that sweet spot down. Stewart says that this step is essential before finding the perfect G-spot toy for you.
"Everyone's G-spot is in a different place, so just because someone says they found it by going 2 inches in and 1 inch up, yours might not necessarily be in that space," she says. "With that said, once you find your G-spot, then you want to stimulate it by providing pressure with the vibrator while it's vibrating. You can move it around, move it in and out, stimulating the outside of the vaginal canal, too."
But remember: You won't feel anything if you're not in the mood! Throw on some porn or an erotic film and use some high-quality lube to get in the mood. Stewart also says that "erotic breathing [can] help you relax and get you the orgasm you desire."
"The type of vibrator you want to have is a vibrator that sits well inside of you and is compatible for the type of vagina you have," Stewart advises those who are just beginning their G-spot journeys. This is why the aforementioned self-exploration is so crucial. She explains, "You may have a more shallow vagina or you may have a longer vagina, so finding the perfect fit is necessary if you don't want to waste your time." Below, check out some of our favorite G-spot vibrators for early self-exploration and prime G-spot stimulation.

This is my personal favorite. Not only is it easy and intuitive to use, but it has multiple vibration settings, is completely waterproof, and never fails to get the job done.

"This vibrator provides direct g-spot stimulation for increased arousal and intense orgasms," says sex therapist Shamyra Howard. It also has simple, intuitive plus- and minus- shaped controls through which you can easily control the intensity of the toy's vibrations.

"For beginners, the Lovehoney G-Slim Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator is a great option," says Frye-Nekrasova. "The design allows you to stimulate the g-spot even if you aren't sure exactly where it is, because of the bulbous head design."

If you're nervous about the $100+ price tag of this toy, don't be. Review after review says that this toy is completely worth the money because of its powerful vibrations, customizable settings, and sleek material. One person even said that it changed her mind about penetration, which she hadn't enjoyed before!

We love the health and self-acceptance focus of this set. This g-spot vibrator comes with a botte of organic, hypo-allergenic lube, and it was developed with clinicians, therapists, and users to be a "healing" experience. Several reviews report a diminishing in penetration-related pain and friction after using this product, with one customer writing that the items' capacity to heal is "all that they promised to be and more."

This vibrator has eight different vibration settings, is completely waterproof, and is made of soft medical-grade silicone that's warm to the touch. Reviewers say that it's perfect for those looking to purchase their first vibrator as well as those who are more accustomed to g-spot stimulation.

This toy is designed with diversity in mind, featuring a "dual-ended" design that can be utilized for g-spot or p-spot exploration. Great for both solo and partner play, reviewers love its ergonomic design, describing it as sleek, sensual, and even healing.
If you're a G-spot connoisseur and know exactly how to bring yourself incredible penetrative pleasure, you may be in the market for a more advanced product. The options below employ cutting-edge technology, unique shapes, and novel movements and vibration patterns so you can bring yourself to a whole new world of stimulation.

"Need something to make you 'twist and shout'?" teases Rowntree. "The We-Vibe Rave throws your body a party unlike any other. With 10 unique settings and a luxurious silicone feel, you’ll also be happy to know Rave is rechargeable and app compatible too."

"For advanced users, the We-Vibe Chorus is my biggest recommendation," says Frye-Nekrasova. "It is a remote and app-controlled dual stimulator that allows for hands-free stimulation and can be used during partner play."

"If you're looking for just g-spot stimulation, the Lovers Night Rider is a fantastic pick. Not only does it have 12 vibrations, but the ridges on the outside stimulate the entrance to the vaginal canal which is one of the most sensitive parts of the vagina," Stewart tells us. "Plus, if you're a squirter, it's waterproof and submersible just in case you want to take it in the tub with you. What's cool about this vibrator is that it has a turbo boost for each vibrational setting, so you get that kickstart every time you move up a level!"

"KURVE features a patented 'dual-motor Treble and Bass technology' that really allows you to customize your experience fully," Rowntree raves. "It has a soft gel tip with a broad surface area and ergonomic contours that make finding your G-spot―or any desired spot―into an earth-shattering, orgasmic excursion."

This toy is curved at a sharper-than-usual angle in order to reach "unique pleasure zones" and "nestle in your g-spot." This is a tall order, indeed, but reviewers seem to agree that it's succeeded: It has a near-perfect rating on Lovehoney's site, and the review section features more claims of squirting than I have ever seen in a review section of any sex toy (and I read a lot of these).

This one-of-a-kind toy not only provides top-notch g-spot stimulation (it has four motors and is a total of ten inches long), but it also has a suction cup at one end complete with a fake tongue to be utilized all over the body (think: nipples). One reviewer enthusiastically writes, "Whoever invented this deserves the Nobel Peace prize for inventions."

This g-spot vibrator is shaped like a penis for those who enjoy such textures, and has eight different vibration settings. It has a suction cup base to optimize solo pleasure capabilities, but a reviewer also says that it's a great fit for partner play because it also fits well into a strap-on harness.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Plus, if you're nervous about having penetrative sex for the first time, remember that your focus should be on finding a partner who prioritizes your consent, comfort level, and preferences rather than on physically "preparing."
Over the years, that Reddit thread stuck with me. I've been haunted by the idea that people feel compelled to use household objects or unsafe DIY methods to achieve sexual pleasure because of concerns such as privacy and affordability. And, because the sexual education in the United States generally leaves much to be desired, women, in particular, are never advised against these dangerous methods—and are even encouraged to engage in them.
For that reason, I've contacted sexologists, doctors, leaders of sex toy companies, and other experts to unpack why you shouldn't use DIY or household items as sex toys and what you can do instead. No matter what your financial background, household environment, experience level, or other personal needs are, safe and affordable pleasure is always within reach.
"In a world where we are encouraged to save money, reduce waste, and to upcycle, I can see why for some the idea of making their own sex toy seems like a good idea," admits Bonny Hall, Global Product director of online sex toy retailer Lovehoney. "However, it really isn't! There is far more to a sex toy than just the shape, and using household objects is definitely a risk that is not worth taking."
Dr. Amanda Olson, a pelvic floor specialist and President & Chief Clinical Officer of Intimate Rose, says that there are several reasons this behavior is risky, the first having to do with materials. "Many materials can cause infection and injury to the vaginal tissue. When selecting materials many people are unaware of the required safety needs in materials and of their own anatomy," she says, adding that "additionally, looking for safety measures such as FDA-cleared silicone is important."
Hall, who plays a major role in sex toy development, agrees, informing us, "When we are creating sex toys, we are using materials that are body safe, such as silicone, ABS plastics, glass, and aluminum, to name a few. Each of the materials are tested in independent labs and verified for safe use. When you pick up a household object that was not designed to be used intimately, there is a risk that the material is not safe. This is also very relevant if someone chooses to use a food item that can also risk introducing unwanted bacteria into the body."
Indeed, Angie Rowntree, founder and director of ethical porn site Sssh.com, says that "your local Emergency Room staff thanks you in advance" for sticking to medical-grade, body-safe materials rather than experimenting with common-yet-dangerous objects such as "veggies, cellphones, [and] staplers."
Beyond potentially unsafe materials, Dr. Olson adds that when it comes to using food or DIY contraptions as sex toys for penetration, "they may create something that breaks or lodges into the vagina that requires assistance removing." Pieces of vegetable, for instance, may become lodged near the cervix, while hand-carved wooden objects may result in painful, hard-to-reach splinters.
Plus, Dr. Olson warns that "if [you] create something that is too large for [your] vaginal opening," it is possible to "injure [your] pelvic floor muscles or vaginal tissue." Professional, medical-grade sex toys, on the other hand, are constructed in a variety of lengths, girths, and textures, so you can choose a completely body-safe option that suits your preferences and experience level.
Finally, when it comes to anal stimulation, the risks of using a DIY or homemade toy are especially severe. "Our rectum is a vacuum," Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexologist and sexpert for Lovers, reminds us. So if you use an object or dildo on your rectum that isn't specifically designed for anal penetration, the object "will go in and have a hard time coming out."
Hall says that professionals at Lovehoney call this "the 'prevention of retention' rule," and they spend a great deal of time on it during the research and development stage. "It is about ensuring that all toys can easily and safely be removed from the body," she says. "This is incredibly important for anal play where we ensure our plugs and pleasure toys have strong, flared bases. It is also key for the design of the Kegel and Love Eggs that require a secure and strong pull loop to remove them quickly and easily. Very few household objects will have these elements of design."
Below, check out a few products that these experts recommend in particular for those who wish to explore new sensations but aren't sure where to begin. And remember to lube up—especially if you're engaging in anal play!

Dr. Olson advises that consumers read reviews of "existing sex toys and [to] analyz[e] their own needs and desires. They can explore how their body responds to different stimuli during self pleasure and search for a toy to replicate that." She recommends this toy, in particular, for exploration, saying, "The Intimate Rose Vibrating Wand is FDA compliant and can be used in many ways including as a sex toy and is safe to use."

Bonny Hall recommends this egg vibrator for its strong pull loop that makes for easy insertion and removal. Toys like this are great for both pleasure and kegel exercises, making them ideal for beginners and experienced users alike.

This, too, comes highly recommended by Hall as a product for pleasure and pelvic health. It features a long, sturdy loop so that you can adjust and remove it from your body with ease.

If you enjoy anal stimulation, look into products like this one, from luxury sex toy brand We-Vibe. Hall recommends this item for its high-quality materials and flared base, so you can engage in solo or partnered anal play without worrying that the object is going to get stuck in your rectum.
Let's face it: Sex toys can be expensive, particularly if they're remote-controlled and/or luxury toys. For that reason alone, it's understandable that one might be tempted to reach for something in their home or their fridge—or to make something themselves—rather than invest. However, keep in mind that medical bills ultimately cost far more than a good sex toy. Plus, your comfort, safety, and health are always worth investing in.
If you're still concerned about costs, there are also a number of safe, affordable sex toy options out there. Bonny Hall also reassures, "At Lovehoney, we have curated a product range that has something for everybody, at every price point, to ensure that you don't have to resort to the risk of homemade sex toys."
Keep scrolling for some of the best budget options.

Heaps of reviews say that this vibrator is excellent for beginners. Plus, its compact size makes it great for travelling, exploring one's genitalia, and targeted stimulation.

According to reviews, not only is this vibrator very small (read: subtle!), but it also packs a surprising punch. Users caution that it does have a 30-minute battery life, though, so be sure to keep it charged.

This anal prober comes with two head options, which is perfect for people who are looking to begin experimenting with anal stimulation. One customer raves at what a great deal this toy is, commenting that "the design of the toy makes sure you feel a lot of extra sensations."

This is a fantastic dildo for the price, especially considering its attention to detail in mimicking lifelike sensations. Reviewers love it for its girth and its stimulating veins.
The environmentally conscious among us may be tempted to use household items as dildos because of concerns about throwing toys away. Indeed, you should throw away your toys if they begin to smell and should avoid using silicone lube with silicone toys, because the lube can cause the toy to break down. However, you can dramatically increase the shelf life of your toy by taking good care of it. Bryony Cole, a sextech expert for toy brand Zumio, advises, "Keeping your toys clean is important for toy lifespan (and your health!). Look for organic, water-based anti-bacterial cleaners that will be kind on your body and the sex toy. It’s always good to check your products, as some toy cleaners aren’t suitable. Ideally, opt for mild soap and warm water and you will be set."
Plus, there are a number of glass and metal sex toy options that don't break down over time and have a longer lifespan than their silicone counterparts. Below, check out some of our favorite sex toy cleaners as well as glass and metal sex toys so you can look out for your pleasure and the environment at the same time.

This fragrance-free, paraben-free option is formulated to clean all toys, no matter what they're made of. Plus, it's vegan, cruelty-free, and certified by PETA!

I have this cleaner, and it's so easy to use. Reviewers agree, with one saying that it "lathers so nice I sort of wish it was a body wash."

This dildo is a work of art, and reviewers love it for both its beauty and its functionality. One says that its tentacle "is shaped like a tongue," making it ideal for both clitoral and g-spot stimulation.

Njoy products are some of the most famous, top-notch metal toys that money can buy, and this option is the OG model. Customers love it as-is, heated up (slightly—be careful!), and cooled down after some time in the fridge. The possibilities are truly endless.
Many people feel nervous about ordering sex toys because they live with their families of with neighbors or roommates who would judge them for using sex toys. Living situations like thse understandably intensify the urge to use a household object as a sex toy, but Dr. Olson reminds us that doing so, as aforementioned, can cause, "infection of the tissue, injury to the cervix [and] possible injury to the external anatomy (vulva) or the vaginal tissue itself."
If you're nervous about having an unwanted, uncomfortable conversation upon ordering a sex toy, look into brands like Lovehoney and Babeland, which use unassuming boxes and return addresses when they send their products. You can also invest in subtle sex toys that don't look like toys at all, including the ones below.

Emojibator strives to make emoji-inspired toys that don't look like traditional sex toys in order to prevent beginners from feeling intimidated. And just because this vibrator isn't adorable, doesn't mean it isn't effective—one reviewer refers to it as their absolute favorite toy, calling it "a must-have for your pleasure."

Another fabulous option from Emojibator, this strawberry-shaped toy fits in the palm of your hand and provides both vibration- and suction-based pleasure. Whether you take it with you on the go or leave it out in your room, when it comes to this berry's function, the world will never know.

Wear this vibrator around your neck, and everyone will assume it's a modernist statement necklace. For the daring, it's also a sexy way to flirt with your beau: Wear this toy around your neck to dinner, and they'll be stunned to distraction. Several reviewers refer to it as "discreet" yet effective, and one says that it's perfect for on-the-go pleasure or travel.

This vibrator is tiny, discreet, and so fun. The lipstick shape is perfect for sticking in a handbag, and although it's small, it packs quite a punch. Its reviews are far more focused on its effectiveness than on its appearance, with one customer writing, "I was so surprised by how strong this little thing was. It is actually more powerful than my bullet!"
Many people have strong creative urges, and sometimes one's creative urges align with their sexual ones. However, certified sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova reminds us, "There is a lot of research and education that would need to be done about toy materials to make sure you are creating a body-safe dildo [or any sex toy], so if you don't want to essentially become a chemist and engineer you can purchase a product made to allow you to create dildos at home."
These safe DIY products include penis casting kits, which Angie Rowntree adds is "definitely a fun date night and very simple to use, and the result is a body-safe silicone dildo that can even be tricked out with vibration if you want. Additionally, they make this kit in a variety of skin tones, or even fun 'glow in the dark' blues or greens."
A number of brands also allow you to customize your sex toy via colors and add-ons before you order it, so you can have customized, creative experience without hurting yourself in the process.

Angie Rowntree recommends DIY dildos "as long as you use an appropriate kit and follow the directions. We love the ‘Clone a Willy’ silicone penis casting kit." Frye-Nekrasova also recommends this kit if you're interested in making your own dildo at home.

Like the original kit, this product promises to make a vibrating replica of any penis—but this model also allows you to clone their testicles. Reviewers caution that the process is messy and that the person with the penis needs to maintain an erection throughout the cloning process, but in the end, it's a fun and fruitful activity between partners—so long as you both maintain a sense of humor about it.

If vaginas are more your speed, never fear! This kit, like its penis counterpart, promises to clone any vagina. Nearly every review talks about how fun this kit is to use with a partner, which makes it a great option for an out-of-the-box date night.

This dildo is completely customizable online, so you can pick the color of your toy's head and base, plus you can choose a number of add-ons and accessories. Reviews say that it's an excellent choice for g-spot and anal pleasure.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
]]>First and foremost, Frye-Nekrasova explains that "a luxury sex toy is a high-end sex toy that lasts a long time and typically offers great pleasure. What makes a sex toy luxurious is the materials used to create it." But this doesn't mean that your sex toys need to be solid gold or diamond-encrusted to be considered luxurious. In fact, she says, "Luxury sex toys tend to be made of the best materials for the body, such as medical-grade silicone."
Futhermore, a sex toy might be considered luxurious if it features unique or complex technology. Frye-Nekrasova adds that luxury options "usually have more power if they vibrate or have other motorized functions, like dual motors and capabilities to control them separately."
And what about the world of intricate fantasy dildos and 18 karat gold cock rings that cost the same as a year of university tuition? "Some luxury sex toys are just for show," explains Frye-Nekrasova, "meaning they are impractical or not safe or pleasurable, it's more so about the look rather than what it can do."
If you're planning on incorporating a luxury sex toy into your pleasure repertoire—whether it be for solo time or for partner play—read on for our expert tips and picks for the best luxury sex toys money can buy.
Why buy a luxury sex toy when you can settle for a cheaper option? In my opinion, you should never settle if you can help it—especially when it comes to buying an item that will be touching such sensitive parts of your body—and Frye-Nekrasova agrees. "Someone would buy a luxury sex toy for various reasons," she says, such as "to spoil themselves, [or] because they want something that is good for their body— something that will last a long time or a toy that does more than just the basic vibration."
She goes on to emphasize the quality of the materials and features on luxury options. "Luxury sex toys are absolutely worth it because they are made with better materials and last longer than something you may get cheaper," she points out. "They also tend to have more features that you explore different stimulations to find what you truly enjoy and find pleasurable."
And while she admits that when it comes to choosing between luxury or budget options, "the biggest difference is going to be the price point," she argues that, "Luxury costs, but in the end it is worth it because higher price point products tend to have a much longer life, regardless of if they are used every day, multiple times a day, for hours on end." Thus, if you're looking for your new go-to sex toy and enjoy using toys every day or even a few times a week, a luxury option might be your best bet.
Worried that you won't be able to find the luxury sex toy options? Frye-Nekrasova reassures us that the shopping experience for luxury toys "is not really different" from shopping for any other toy, "in the sense that sex shops carry luxury products just as they do non-luxury products." It's not necessarily about finding a specialty sex shop—it's about looking for toys made from safe, high-quality materials, that feature a variety of customizable functions, and/or that are durable, waterproof, and long-lasting.
The vibrator is one of the most popular types of sex toys of all time, so why not make the experience lavish? These options come with a variety of unique settings, vibration patterns, and other features that are bound to bring your sexploration to the next level. Just be sure you know how to use a vibrator safely and effectively before you embark on your luxurious pleasure journey.

"My biggest recommendation is the Womanizer Premium 2," says Frye-Nekrasova. "Nothing is more luxurious or leads to more exceptional levels of pleasure."

Temperature play is an excellent means of experimenting with new sensations, whether you're getting to know your own body, engaging in teasing with a partner, or beginning to dabble in kink.

Although this machine is, by all accounts, quite loud, customers enjoy it for both solo and voyeuristic partner play. One review reads, "Overall, I would thoroughly recommend this product to woman wanting to explore their own needs and desires," adding that it's also great "for couples who want to explore teasing play and intense orgasms."

This g-spot vibrator has a suction sleeve attachment in addition to a real Swarovski crystal embellishment—just in case the Cleopatra-inspired design, eight vibration modes, and heating function aren't luxurious enough for you. One verified buyer raves, "I liked the velvety softness and charges nicely. You won’t be disappointed. The price is worth it."
Dildos are brilliant for those who enjoy penetration, but these toys have advanced far beyond the traditional, simple phallus shape. Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, can be made from a variety of different body-safe materials, and incorporate exciting, unique technologies. Check out our favorite luxury options below, along with our experts' tips on how to use a dildo.

This dildo offers "three inches of thrust," up to 140 strokes per minute, and can be bent up to 90 degrees so that no matter what your favorite angle is, you can hit it without any trouble. One five-star reviewer says that he was looking for a toy that would give his wife multiple orgasms, and this product did just the trick.

For those who enjoy vibrations and lifelike textures in their sex toys, this dildo is an excellent option. Multiple reviews rave about its effectiveness, with one particularly enthusiastic customer entitling their review "OH MY GOD" and going on to say, "Honestly one of the best purchases I have ever made. Perfectly designed and feels just like the real thing if not better."

The hefty price tag on this item is backed up by dozens of reviews that describe mind-blowing, unprecedented orgasms. One simply states, "G-spot and girth enthusiasts, this is a must-have."

This metal toy promises waves of tingling, "sparky" pleasure. One helpful review reads, "This toy is an absolute must buy for any e-stim lover new to experienced. Do not let its modest size fool you, this dildo is simply amazing." The user also says that the toy works well for anal stimulation, describing, "With each pulse your muscles will contract around the toy. As the toy goes deeper, the shocks fade but as it comes out again they intensify."
Whether you're a person with a penis or your partner is, never fear—there are a number of sex toys made for your pleasure, whether you're interested in solo or partner play.

For people of all genders who have a penis, Frye-Nekrasova recommends the Arcwave Ion, calling it "the epitome of luxury and one of a kind," describing that "it uses Pleasure Air Technology to stimulate the frenulum (the sensitive nerve endings on the underside of the penis)."

This toy was made with accessibility in mind, featuring "easy-to-use buttons" that are great for people with mobility issues. It has an excellent online rating, as well, with one customer raving that "it's like nothing you will of ever seen or used before."

For heterosexual couples, this set is not only luxurious, but it's pretty high-tech, too.
Not a technology whiz? No problem. One customer reassures, "The app is very easy to connect and you can add your partner to each toy so they can control it too. You can even connect it to music and just have the toy/ app running while you use your phone for other things."

This sleek, high-quality option fits around fingers for digital stimulation or the shaft of a penis during penetration, and it vibrates in order to provide pleasure to both the penis and the clitoris simultaneously. It's a toy that, in the words of one customer, is "really fun for everyone."
Sex toys aren't just meant for solo masturbation. There's a whole world of sex toys for partner play that can enhance emotional and physical intimacy, spice up your sexual routine, and even help you get to know new a partner. And, if you're going to introduce a new toy to your boo, why not show off with an ultra-luxe pick (or two)?

"If you are looking for luxury couple's toys, I suggest We-Vibe," says Frye-Nekrasova, who says that the Moxie is one of her absolute favorites.

This is Frye-Nekrasova's other favorite toy from We-Vibe, and reviewers seem to agree with her. One says that it's "the best couples toy [she and her partner] have ever tried," while another five-star review marvels "I've never seen a sex toy like this."

This toy is not only perfect for two partners with vaginas, but it's also remote-controlled and has multiple speed and vibration options. It has a five-star rating, too, with one reviewer gushing, "If you love rabbit vibrators and that dual stimulation sensation and are looking for a way to please both you and your partner at the same time then look no further!!!"

This vibrator is designed to be hidden in a pair of underwear, and is completely controllable via a smartphone app for long-distance and/or clandestine partner play. It has a near-perfect rating, with on review reading, "Naughty and intense but discreet. The thrill of wearing it in public is delicious."
Your rectum is one of the most sensitive parts of your body, so when you're looking for the best anal toys, why not indulge in a luxury option? And while you're shopping, remember to always, always use plenty of lube when engaging in anal play! The rectum, unlike the vagina, is not self-lubricating, so if you want to have your safest, sexiest anal session(s) yet, you're going to need it.

Owners of the original Bess vibrator rave that it is "a nice starter for any beginner" and "the best vibrator [they've] ever owned," featuring a 10,000-revolution-per-minute motor. Now, ZALO has revamped the vibrator to include a heating function and an anal bead attachment, so you can bring the party to the back, too.

Frye-Nekrasova says specifically recommends We-Vibe, along with other sex toy brands like Womanizer and Arcwave, for its "commitment to high quality materials and research and development to maximize pleasure." Indeed, this vibrating anal plugis made from safe, high-quality material, is waterproof, can be controlled via app, and has a two-year warrantee.

This remote-controllable anal toy has ten different vibration settings and is suitable for both male and female anal pleasure. One customer calls the product "unparalleled" and says that the higher price tag "is worth it to be able to control it without touch, and [for] the fact that the remote also vibrates."

This luxury toy has 30 different customizable combinations, five levels of intensity, and is made from high-quality silicone. It's also wearable and designed for users of all experience levels. One reviewer calls it a "great starter to using anal toys," and goes on to recommend, "Tip for beginners: it’s easier to put in when it’s turned and buzzing!!! Love this as a starting size; it’s also a discreet size. Great settings range, can be really powerful."
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Angie Rowntree, founder and director of ethical porn site Sssh.com, says that while many dildos are phallic and designed to look like penises, "dildos ultimately come in many different shapes and sizes, and some can be more 'abstract' or even fantastical looking. They can be made of different materials, and they can also be slightly curved, to help stimulate your g-spot or prostate."
We've already scoured the internet for the very best dildos on the market today, but if you're wondering, on a more fundamental level, how to use a dildo—or even how to up your dildo-play game—you've come to the right place. Keep scrolling for some of the best, expert-approved tips on how to properly use a dildo, alone or with a partner. Once you have the right tools in hand, the possibilities are truly endless.
Buying a dildo can be an incredibly daunting experience, what with all of the shapes, materials, and kinks that buyers can fall into a rabbit hole looking into during their shopping experience. For that reason, we've asked experts to demystify the dildo shopping experience so that when you're browsing online or at your local sex shop, you can do so with the utmost confidence.
Rowntree points out that, first and foremost, you should "make sure your toy is made from quality materials and designed for penetration." You should never assume that an object is safe to insert into your body unless the package or instructions expressly says so.
Then, when it comes to materials, Lovehoney sex educator Javay Frye Nekrasova breaks it down, explaining that "there are really four main material types for dildos: Silicone, metal, glass, and plastic. It is recommended to stick to non-porous materials, as they are easier to clean, so your glass and metal are top choices, followed by silicone, and then plastic."
Choosing a dildo based on material can also vary based on your wants and needs. She adds that "choosing the right material will also depend on how you plan on using the dildo. If you are going for anal use more flexibility is recommended so silicone and plastic are better options for this. For vaginal use, any material could work, depending on what you personally enjoy and are looking for. Direct, pinpointed stimulation can be achieved with metal, as they generally are designed to offer that focus on the g-spot. Glass dildos are great for people looking for multiple forms of stimulation like from the design and additions...If you want something that feels more like having a partner than realistic dildos, silicone or plastic are the way to go."
And if you're worried about sizing? Sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a designated sexpert for Lovers, says to start small, noting that the size of a dildo "is really dependent on peoples' penetration experiences. So if you're not used to dildos, whether vaginal or anal, trying smaller sizes might be best."
"It can seem overwhelming," Frye-Nekrasova says, aware of all these circumstances that go into picking a toy, "but at the end of the day, it is all just a matter of going for what you enjoy. So start by paying attention to what you actually find pleasurable and then pick your dildo to meet those aspects you already enjoy." Remember: Sex is supposed to be fun!

Frye-Nekrasova calls this glass dildo "a great example" of an easily cleaned glass dildo capable of providing stimulation on multiple levels.

Like its glass counterpart, this stainless steel option is beaded and therefore offers a number of opportunities for internal stimulation. Multiple review recommend popping this product into the fridge for fun temperature play, with one verified customer noting that doing this had their girlfriend "begging for it again and again."
Dildos come in remarkably long, girthy sizes, but don't feel like you need to measure up to the six-, ten-, and 12-inch options out there. Keep in mind that the average length of an erect penis is about five inches, so, even if you're sexually active, it is absolutely normal for you to be overwhelmed and even physically incapable of handling the entirety of an eight-inch dildo. For optimal comfort, start small and pay attention to sizing when you buy your sex toys.
And, if you're determined to take on the larger dildos of the world, Frye-Nekrasova has you covered. "To ensure you are comfortable using a dildo, take your time," she advises. "You don't have to shove the entire length of the dildo inside of you—you can work your way up. Do what you feel comfortable with."
It's easy to overlook sex toy care, but properly cleaning your sex toys will help them last longer and, most importantly, keep you safe from bacterial infections. Frye-Nekrasova even refers to cleaning as the very first tenet of sex toy safety, specifically stating that "washing with a toy cleaner or unscented mild soap is how you should clean all toys."
Furthermore, she adds that sex toys are not communal items, telling us that dildos should never be shared and that "you should not use the same toys between partners. Buy a new dildo for every relationship, and get different colors for you and your partner(s) to ensure you are using yours."
Lube is an underrated product that belongs in everyone's sexual toolkit for its ability to both ease penetrative sex and enhance pleasure. Frye-Nekrasova echoes this point, calling lube "crucial" and pointing out that, in addition to increasing pleasure, using lube "help[s] to minimize the chances of tears or fissures."
Rowntree agrees, adding, "Even if you get plenty aroused, lube can create a new and wonderful sensation and reduce friction and lube is absolutely non-negotiable if you are exploring anal play."
However, it's important to pair your lubricants with your sex toys properly. For instance, she warns that silicone lubes can degrade silicone toys, including dildos, and advises that "if you are worried about it, stick to water-based lube, as it is safe for all toy materials."
Many dildos come with suction cups at the base so that you can ride them at your leisure during solo play. These toys, when made from high-quality materials, are extremely convenient, because they can adhere to just about any hard, flat surface, like floors and walls.
Rowntree advises, "If you do enjoy playing in the shower, and you want to ride solo, or have a hands-free experience, a suction cup dildo can (usually) keep the toy in place while you go to town. As always, use good common sense and caution in case the suction cup should loosen during the course of play. And let’s just say you should definitely avoid putting the suction cup dildo on a door that someone could easily open while you’re in the middle of play time."
One might think that vaginal and anal toys are interchangeable, but that's far from the truth. "If you're going to do anal sex," says Stewart, "you'll need a dildo with a wide base because our rectum is a vacuum and it will go in and have a hard time coming out. However, this is not necessary for vaginas because the cervix prevents dildos from going into the uterus."
And if you're a beginner to anal stimulation? Rowntree says that when it comes to anal penetration, it's best to "start smaller and work your way up and stop if you feel any discomfort."
Sex toys are treasured in the world of masturbation for a reason: They're great for exploring oneself and discovering one's pleasure preferences. And while you can, of course, go the traditional route by thrusting a dildo in and out of your vagina or anus to simulate partnered pleasure, there are a variety of creative ways to use a dildo that can spice up your self-care routine.
"When masturbating, you can insert the dildo while you read erotica and go at your own pace," recommends Stewart. "You can also use dildos that have suction cups and place it somewhere you can try and control your own penetration. Even placing a dildo in a sex pillow can help facilitate how you like to be penetrated."
Frye-Nekrasova adds, "A creative way to use dildos for masturbation is as a practice tool for oral sex. If oral is an arousing activity for you, then performing oral on a dildo can be a great way to get in the mood for masturbation."
In short, when it comes to masturbation, feel free to use dildos in any way that turns you on, so long as you're safe, comfortable, and prepared.

Stewart recommends this suction cup dildo for the solo play she suggests. Users seem to agree with her, lauding the toy's startlingly "realistic feel."

This is Stewart's top recommendation for sex pillows, and its online rating is just about perfect. Users say it's easy to clean, fun to use, and a great addition to any sex toy collection.
Like all sex toys, dildos can be used for more than just a solo session. Incorporating sex toys into partner play can be a great way of building intimacy and exploring sexual preferences with your partner, and for those who love penetration, dildos are the perfect addition to any partnered sex sesh.
"Let’s just say the erotic imagination is a wonderful and powerful thing," says Rowntree. "You might put on a show for your partner and tease them, pretending that the dildo you’re pleasuring yourself with is their penis or use it as part of an erotic power exchange scene. As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, go ahead and listen to what your bodies and minds are calling out for."
Dildos can also be used to gently instruct a partner on how you like to be touched. Try using on yourself in front of your partner as a means of foreplay and saying something like, "I want you to touch me like this." Frye-Nekrasova agrees, saying that dildos are "perfect for explor[ing] new positions."
Plus, incorporating sex toys into the bedroom is a great way of maintaining sexual boundaries within a relationship. Frye-Nekrasova explains, "They are a great option if a partner is not in the mood for sex using their physical body but they still want to provide you pleasure."
Strap-ons are dildos that attach to the wearer—either by a harness or by a g-spot stimulating attachment that sits inside the vagina—that are used to penetrate the receiver in the vagina or rectum.
"Strap-ons can seem intimidating, especially since for many people they are only viewed as something used by LGBTQIA+ couples," admits Frye-Nekrasova, "but strapons are for any and everyone. They have so many varied uses. Strap-ons can be used for pegging, double penetration, practicing your stroke game, sexual activity without touching genitals, and so much more. They also come in a variety of different forms, from actual harnesses to underwear to strapless strap-ons."
And if you're sold on strap-ons or simply curious, but unsure of how to broach the topic with your partner? Frye-Nekrasova says, "The first step in getting used to strap-ons is getting good at communication. For most people, while using a strap-on they don't have the dildo anatomically attached to them so they can't fully feel what is happening, so you have to listen to your partner and communicate with them to ensure you are using it in a pleasurable manner."
As with all sex acts, use of a strap-on is based first and foremost on enthusiastic consent, so be sure that both the giver and receiver are comfortable vocalizing their feelings with complete honesty and listening to the other with complete openness.
In terms of logistics, Frye-Nekrasova writer, "The second step is getting the right products. You want a harness that is comfortable for you whether it be a traditional harness, strapless, or underwear harness and then you and your partner need to decide together on the dildo that will be used." There's an incredible amount of variety out there when it comes to strap-ons, so if this is something you and your partner are interested in, there is undoubtedly an option out there for you.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
]]>But all of this time, along with the basic nature of the dildo, means that there's been plenty of space for innovation and versatility. Now, dildos come in a huge variety of shapes, sizes, and consistencies, and can be used for partner play, kink, anal play, and more. "Dildos can be made from different types of materials, including silicone, glass, stainless steel, wood, etc," notes Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and sexpert for Lovers. "In addition, they can vary in how they are shaped. They can be made for shorter penetration, longer penetration, or even curved to aim towards the g-spot."
This means that if you're interested in using a dildo, the possibilities are endless: There's no one-size-fits-all toy, and exploring different options will help you find what's comfortable and pleasurable for you. Lovehoney sex educator and pleasure expert Javay Frye-Nekrasova encourages people to look into the many different kinds of toys out there in order to discover what they like best. "If you know that you enjoy penetration and the fullness feeling of being penetrated," she says, "you can just explore different-sized dildos to find the one for you."
Still, while all of this is fantastic news for sex toy enthusiasts, it also means that there is a daunting number of options out there that can easily overwhelm the casual dildo shopper or the sex toy beginner. With that in mind, we've consulted sex educators, therapists, and other experts about all things dildo so that you can go into your shopping experience educated, prepared, and excited about all the pleasure possibilities before you.
On a basic level, Javay Frye-Nekrasova defines a dildo as "an insertable toy used for penetration. it can be used for vaginal, oral, or anal penetration. They can vary in terms of shape and design, but generally 'dildo' is used to describe penis-like insertable toys." Therefore, she says, "The first step in knowing if a dildo is a good fit for you is determining how you feel about penetration. If you don't particularly enjoy penetration then a dildo might not be the best for you."
But not all dildos are made alike, of course. Marla Renee Stewart recommends that, when shopping for the best dildos, users keep in mind the kind of stimulation they like and the sorts of sex acts they'd like to use the toy for. Below, we've looked into the best dildos for various types of penetration and experience levels. We've also kept quality in mind, settling for no less than the best, safest dildos around (and yes, homemade sex toys are always a bad idea).
Stewart echoes our concern, advising, "Make sure that you use a quality dildo with body-safe material. Because sex toys are not regulated, it's easy to get a dildo that is toxic, so make sure that you look at the products and what they are made out of." She also reminds us to use lube when engaging in dildo play in order to "make penetration easier and avoid many micro-tears."
In terms of material, both Stewart and Rowntree say to buy from reputable sex toy shops and to ensure that the toys are, according to Rowntree, "body safe and designed for the purpose of penetration. If in doubt, ask the manufacturer." These materials can include body-safe glass, latex, wood, silicone, or metal, though Stewart says, "Silicone is the only material that is a little bendable, so if you want something really hard, then using any other type of material should be good. If you like a little give, silicone is great for that."
As with all things sex (and life), when it comes to dildos, there's no need to bite off more than you can chew. Frye Nekrasova advises, "It is best to start with a smaller girth and work your way up," suggesting items that are on the conservative side in terms of length and girth.
Best Suction Cup Dildo for Beginners
"The Lovehoney Realistic Slimline Dildo is a great option to start with," says Frye-Nekrasova. "The circumference is only 4 inches and then you can move up as you feel comfortable and ready."
Pros: great for beginners; strong suction cup; affordable
Cons: some users wish it was made from a softer material
Customer Review: "This is a really good product that is able to be used in many ways. It has a really good shape and realistic texture. The suction cup is sturdy and also fits perfectly into the rings for strap ons. Overall a really great purchase that made me and the Mrs happy." -Lovehoney
Best Non-Phallic Dildo For Beginners
Remember: Penetration doesn't always mean penis! "If you do enjoy some types of penetration such as fingering or less girthy items, then using something like a Desire Luxury Beaded Dildo can be a great option for penetrative stimulation," Frye-Nekrasova suggests.
Pros: free of latex and phthalates; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation; works with all types of lube; fully submersible
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The coldness of the metal, its weight and the shape all add to build a deep orgasm. So awesome." -Lovehoney
While dildos come in all shapes and sizes, and don't necessarily need to resemble penises, Frye-Nekrasova admits that lifelike dildos, which she says "are shaped to resemble and feel like anatomical penises," are "what people generally think of when they hear the word dildo."
Still, like penises themselves, these dildos come in different sizes and textures. "Some have veins, some are designed to be like circumcised penises, and others like uncircumcised penises." You can even buy dildos modeled after real-life penises (like those of porn stars)!
Best Based-On-Real-Life Dildo
This versatile dildo features a strong suction cup, is eight inches, and has an impressive girth. However, reviewers warn that it's certainly not for beginners. Consider this dildo if you love the full feeling of intense penetration, or if you're looking to "stretch" out of your comfort zone." Just be sure you use plenty of lube!
Pros: very realistic; warms to body temperature while in use; strong suction cup
Cons: may be too big for beginners
Customer Review: "Great texture, the size is girthy without being TOO big, and it feels high-quality. Personally, I would prefer if it was maybe one to two inches shorter, as the eight inches is a little too long for me, but that's an easy thing to work around. Would definitely recommend for people who enjoy feeling full." -Babeland
Best Testicle-Emphasizing Dildo
Many people who like penises enjoy playing with their partners' testicles, and this dildo emphasizes that aspect of the male anatomy. It has a near-perfect online rating: Customers are especially pleased with the strength of the suction cup, though they do note that the dildo is not intended for beginners.
Pros: phthalate-free; realistic; strong suction cup
Cons: may be too big for beginners
Customer Review: "I can honestly say this was a good investment for my toy collection. Tried it the first night after delivered, Ohh my did this dildo give me some wild anal and prostate orgasms. I love this stuck on the shower wall for my best results and anal play. Strong suction cup stays put without slipping no matter how hard you ride this toy. Highly recommended for intermediate and advanced anal play and pleasure. Not for a beginner though." -Adam & Eve
Some of the best dildos have suction cup bases that allow them to stay in place during use—a quality especially typical among silicone dildos. Frye-Nekrasova approves, saying, "You can put it in the shower, on a chair, on a mirror, directly on the floor, virtually any hard surface. This can give you peace of mind while using the dildo and cut out some of the workout of having to manually thrust the dildo in and out." Check below for some of our favorite options for hands-free, wrist-cramp-free fun.
Best Glow-In-The-Dark Dildo
Stewart specifically recommends this glow-in-the-dark dildo, which, according to reviews, is soft, feels realistic, and has strong enough suction to stay in place during even the most passionate play.
Pros: strong suction cup; safe for both g- and p-spot stimulation; realistic feel; easy to find in the dark (glows)
Cons: very girthy and relatively long, so may not be suitable for beginners; can't be paired with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "This piece is absolutely stunning out of the box. The translucent silicone beautifully diffuses the photoreactive glowing core and the dual density properties is great for anyone looking for a softer, more giving experience without compromising structural integrity. I definitely recommend this piece for anyone looking for a realistic feel with a fun, glowing color." -Lovers Stores
Best Girthy Dildo
Reviewers love this toy for how veiny it is. Its texture, along with its width, make it quite realistic, and it even comes in three colors.
Pros: realistic feel; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation
Cons: may be too girthy for beginners
Customer Review: "The width and firmer structure makes it realistic." -Babeland
Dildos aren't just for solo play! They can be used to penetrate or to put on a show for a partner as well. Some dildos are even made for simultaneous dual penetration, which is perfect for dual vaginal stimulation, dual anal stimulation, or simultaneous anal and vaginal stimulation. The possibilities are endless, and aren't limited to any one sexual preference!
Best Flexible Double-Ended Dildo
Stewart recommends double-sided dildos like this one in particular, suggesting, "You and your partner can experiment with different positions where both of you are being penetrated."
Pros: flexible; waterproof; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Great size—my new favorite toy!!" -Lovers Stores
Best Phallic Double-Ended Dildo
"Double-ended dildos like the BASICS Double-Ended Dildo can be used to enjoy anal sex together where both partners are enjoying anal stimulation," suggests Frye-Nekrasova. This also works great for vagina-vagina sex during which both partners would like to enjoy penetration.
Pros: great for stimulating both partners simultaneously; gender-inclusive; phthalate-free; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation; submersible; great for double penetration; flexible
Cons: some wish it was girthier
Customer Review: "Bought this for a bit of different fun, it’s extra long and flexible enough to use in many different positions! Feels great on opening the package and has 2 different size ends. Can be used for just one person and one hole to really get deep or both holes at the same time and really get involved!" -Lovehoney
According to Angie Rowntree, "A strap-on is a dildo that is affixed to a harness of some kind in order to allow the wearer to penetrate their partner." She goes on to note that "while many people associate strap-ons with lesbian sex, strap-ons are also used by heterosexual couples who want to explore male pegging and/or prostate stimulation, or anyone who wants to penetrate or be penetrated by their partner in this manner." So, if you or your partner are interested in experimenting with strap-on play, you're not alone!
Marla Renee Stewart agrees, assuring, "Anyone can work a strap-on no matter your genitals. It's all about having the right fit for your harness and making sure that you are comfortable in the harness. Typically, finding a harness that can be firm, stay in place, and comfortable is great. You also want one that would be easily washable, wearable, and fits your dildo as you like."
Best Traditional Strap On Dildo
There are over 260 reviews of this strap-on kit, and almost every single one raves about it. Not only does the kit come with everything you need to start your strap-on experience, but the dildo itself is curved for optimal g-spot and p-spot stimulation. One reviewer simply says, "Absolutely. Get it. Get it right now. Right the f*k now."
Pros: safe for g- and p-spot stimulation; great for beginners; easy to use; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: some wish the dildo was girthier (but you can swap this one out for one of your own)
Customer Review: "The harness fits really nicely and easily adjustable. It didn’t take long to figure it all out. I definitely recommend lube to go with this. But the dildo itself is really good for starting out and we both enjoy wearing it and using it on each other. Sometimes if you’re really thrusting hard it can slip out, but rarely has this been an issue. Easy to clean, too. Definitely recommend." -Lovehoney
Best Strap On Dildo That Stimulates Both Partners
This dildo is designed to sit inside the vagina for g-spot stimulation while the wearer penetrates their partner. This mutual pleasure can enhance any sex session. One customer agrees, writing, "Love feeling like I'm connected to my partner and love the wireless control." For those into girthier, longer dildos, this product also comes in an XL size.
Pros: gender-inclusive; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation; vibrates; allows for simultaneous pleasure for both partners
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Excellent product! The ability to mix the three vibrating parts creates really interesting sensations." -Babeland
Just because it's a dildo, doesn't mean it needs to look like a penis! Frye-Nekrasova points out that many people enjoy non-anatomical dildos, "which can be more ergonomic or abstract in design and color but still have an aspect to them that allows for focused stimulation when inserted, such as a bulbous head or tip." Many of these dildos include "glass and other non-porous, harder material dildos," along with "ones that have a specific curvature for pinpointed stimulation and intricate designs for enhanced stimulation."
Best Glass Dildo
This toy has a near-perfect online rating, with one promising review stating, "If you're new to glass this one is a great one to start with."
Pros: decorative; great for temperature play; safe for g- and p-spot stimulation
Cons: some users wish it was girthier
Customer Reviews: "Used in many and varied places, for both male and female pleasure. Easy to use, when cooled or warmed in water this provides other pleasures that silicone or plastics can’t simulate. Easy to clean and both ends provide size variations to allow for increased pressure. Lovely design." -Lovehoney
Best Luxury Metal Dildo
Njoy's stainless steel toys are highly popular for their quality and their ability to deliver on promises of ecstatic pleasure. A variation of the brand's famous Pure Wand, this option is optimal for both g-spot and anal stimulation. In the words of one reviewer, "If you're hesitating...put this toy in your cart right now!"
Pros: safe for both g- and p-spot stimulation; easy to clean; can be paired with any type of lube; great for temperature play
Cons: hard, so not as suitable for those who want a soft, skin-like feel
Customer Review: "Njoy is everything. The Eleven is worth every penny and a must have for anyone who loves extreme g-spot pressure, enjoys getting fisted, or wants to be able to experiment with hard materials. The curve is heaven. Either end is usable, with the small end having a bit of ridging which either makes for an ergonomic handle or a sensuous texture when inserted. Swooning just thinking about it." -Babeland
A g-spot stimulator is penetrative, so can it be classified as a dildo?
"Technically yes and no," answers Frye-Nekrasova, who says that vibrators designed specifically for g-spot stimulation are not dildos, whereas those designed for "deep penetration" are, in fact, dildos. "In terms of vibration, there are vibrating dildos and you can find a wide variety of anatomical-looking vibrating dildos as those are most common."
Still confused about what to ask for when you're shopping for your toy? Rowntree reassures, "If you go to a sex toy shop and ask for a 'g-spot dildo that vibrates,' undoubtedly someone will be able to help you. Don’t worry: there are no dildo police who would withhold pleasure if you’re having a hard time figuring out what it is that you want."
Quietest Vibrating Dildo
Reviewers love this dildo, but they note that the girth is "quite something"—so beginners, proceed with caution (and time and lube)! For those comfortable with substantial size, though, this is a great option. Another review reads, "If you are looking for something to make you orgasm every time, this is the one."
Pros: free of latex and phthalates; fully submersible in water
Cons: some users find it too girthy
Customer Review: "I have found this product to be one of the best toys I have personally tried. It has a great range of different settings and isn’t noisy at all!!! Have never had a better orgasm from a vibrator!! Plus the design is so cute! BUY IT!!!" -Lovehoney
Best Remote-Controlled Dildo
This remote-controlled vibrating dildo is great for convenient solo or partner play. One happy customer writes, "This has quickly become my favorite. I like the vibration and movement as well as the material. My girlfriend says it is comfortable to wear in a harness and can enjoy the vibration as well. It was a great purchase."
Pros: waterproof; can be controlled remotely; great for partner or solo play
Cons: can't be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "This has quickly become my favorite. I like the vibration and movement as well as the material. My girlfriend says it is comfortable to wear in a harness and can enjoy the vibration as well. It was a great purchase." -Babeland
Dildos can be great for those who enjoy anal stimulation—particularly that which mimics penetration by fingers or a penis. However, not every toy is an anal toy. According to Angie Rowntree, who also reminds us to never insert toys into the vagina after using them to engage in anal play, says, "Anal toys, including dildos, are usually clearly denoted by the manufacturer, and generally speaking will also have a 'flared' base for safety." This flare, notably, is made in order to prevent the toy from getting sucked into the rectum. In fact, Marla Renee Stewart calls the rectum "a vacuum," and that sex toys without widened or flared bases "will go in and have a hard time coming out."
Furthermore, many anal vibrators and anal dildos are better suited for anal play for other reasons. "Dildos with more bend and flexibility to them do well for anal play as the positioning of the body," says Javay Frye-Nekrasova. "Dildos that are smaller in terms of girth are better for people just getting started in penetrative anal play and this is because the anus has muscles called sphincters that have to be trained to stretch for more girth."
Best Suction Cup Anal Dildo
This minimalist suction cup dildo is excellent for beginners, with a modest girth and a reasonable length suited for those interested in exploring anal play for the first time. Reviewers say that the suction cup works great, particularly in the shower, and that it's easy to clean.
Pros: safe for g- and p-spot play; suction cup makes for easy use; made from soft silicone; great for beginners
Cons: can't be paired with silicone lube; some users wish it was girthier
Customer Review: "This stands out as a great toy for beginners. The shape and suction cup are pretty perfect for exploring anal or for a quick play. The suction cup works nicely and the length of the toy is just right for making use of it. Not much warmup is required but complete beginners may need a little something to get started as it isn’t tiny. Where this really shines for me is once you’re used to this kind of toy you can use it with no preparation and the suction cup makes it pretty versatile; you can get quite a bit of play in before you feel like you want a larger toy or another activity." -Lovehoney
Best Curved Anal Dildo
Did you know that some of the best dildos on the market are made from body-safe materials other than silicone? Njoy's popular, luxury products are great examples: Reviewers love the weight, sensation, and contours of this "phenomenal" stainless steel toy.
Pros: can be paired with any type of lube; great for g- and p-spot stimulation
Cons: expensive
Customer Review: "This toy is phenomenal. Using it for p-spot play. The metal toys in the Le Wand series are all weighted solid metal. The Hoop is smooth and seamless. I used it with very little lube as the metal generates very little friction, so it's easy to insert and remove." -Lovers Stores
Frye-Nekrasova describes fantasy dildos as those "designed to look more like dragons or aliens or other sci-fi/fantastical creatures." And there's nothing new about this sort of fantasy: One need only look to classical mythology, like Greek myths of gods seducing women while in the form of animals, as well as art like Katsushika Hokusai's "Dream of the Fisherman's Wife," to understand that people have long found sexual appeal in a variety of fantastical places, both within and beyond the natural world.
Lucky for out generation, fantasy dildos are widely sold across sex toy retailers. According to Frye-Nekrasova, "These dildos come in a wide variety of colors and designs from super girthy to sparkly to a combination of shapes and sizes in one," so you can pluck your fantasy from your imagination and bring it straight to your bedroom.
Easiest Fantasy Dildo to Use
This dildo is, of course, designed to be beautiful, and reviewers love it, writing that it's a gorgeous display piece. But it's also effective, easy to clean, and even has a handle subtly built into its design to make for easier play.
Pros: great for beginners; great for temperature play; pairs well with all types of lube; decorative; easy to clean
Cons: some users wish it was girthier and longer
Customer Review: "I honestly loved this guy! The beaded grooves make this such an amazing toy! If you like temperature play, you should definitely put it in the freezer for a bit then go have some foreplay—you will be on cloud 9!! Cleaning up is such a breeze, too. My favorite detail on it is the spot for you to hold it while using it! Perfection for sure. This is a must-buy!" -Lovehoney
Best Decorative Fantasy Dildo
Reviewers are crazy about this item, saying that its ridges and unusual shape make it perfect for enhanced stimulation. Users advise heavy lube usage, however—especially for extended play. The brand also makes dildos shaped like aliens, centaurs, dragons, clouds, and more.
Pros: decorative; affordable; made from soft silicone
Cons: can't be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "All I can say is, wow! Yeah, it's great using it as a vaginal toy, but when she uses it as a stimulator for backdoor play before it's my turn, she loves it! Her being fairly new to butt stuff, she says it really helps her feel more relaxed before our fun begins. And those ridges and nubs along the shaft massage and stimulate her rear to the point she's had a couple climactic O's, so she says." -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Dr. O'Reilly goes on to point out some of the benefits of the best sex games, including "learning more about one another’s desires, boundaries, fears and fantasies; seeing one another in a new light and make new discoveries; creating tension and excitement to fuel passion; exploring new fantasies, scenarios, positions and sexual exploits; [and] laughing and enjoying one another’s company."
Ahead, we've spoken to sex experts and educators about the importance of sex games, how to incorporate them into your sex life in a safe and fun way, and, of course, about which sex games should be added to your shopping cart ASAP.
Sex games often involve prompts that call for one or both partners to divulge certain thoughts or preferences, or to engage in certain sex acts. Given these circumstances and the desire to keep the atmosphere light-hearted, it's easy to feel pressured into doing something one doesn't want to do. Dr. O'Reilly reminds us, however, to "always have a PASS card on hand. If the game doesn’t provide one, you can make one. Take it out at the beginning and leave it on the table knowing that you can use it—without judgment—anytime."
If a literal card isn't your style, Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexologist and sexpert for Lovers, suggests saying something like, "I don't think I'm ready for that today, but let me think about it and if we play again next month, I'll be more ready to possibly take it on. Now choose something that I'm ready for..." Angie Rowntree, founder and director of ethical porn site Sssh.com, adds, "In a scenario where you are playing a game together, you need only say something like 'Let’s pick another card' or 'Let me spin again.' If your partner asks you why, there’s nothing wrong with saying 'I’m just not comfortable going there but let’s keep playing.'"
And if your partner is being a bad sport? Rowntree doubles down, saying, "Don’t ever feel bad about sharing your boundaries and hard limits, because consent is key in any sexual exchange." Your partner(s) should be invested in ensuring your pleasure and comfort, and Dr. O'Reilly says that if your partner continues to coerce, guilt, or otherwise gaslight you into doing something you don't want to do, "consider focusing on the relationship itself—on your own or with a therapist who can help you to address the ways in which you communicate and support one another."
Sex games can be an excellent way of getting to know a new partner, or of capitalizing on the levity that often comes with casual and short-term relationships. "For couples who might not be familiar with each other’s preferences, games that get you asking questions are great," agrees Rowntree. "If nothing else, you get some laughs together—but really, games are a great way to learn new things about each other and explore new territory free from the inhibitions that might have prevented you from asking them to 'go there' or 'do that.'"
Below, check out some of our favorite sex games to pull out the next time you call up your casual boo.

Sex educator Tara Jones specifically recommends this product, which, per the brand, is made for partners at any and every stage, "whether you've just met or you've been together for years."

"Silly, funny games are great for groups or newer couples who want to ease the tension and enjoy the ride," says Dr. O'Reilly. "This one is a great option if you’re down for a good time."

Stewart calls this game "spectacular" for its ability to prolong foreplay, and says that its light-hearted exploration makes it "very good for lovers who like to play sexually with friends, as well as those who are in a short-term relationship."

"If you like poker and you enjoy pleasing and be pleased by your partner, this game is for you," says one review. Sounds like this game is for most of us, then.
Sex educator Tara Jones tells us that she always recommends sex games for long-term couples as a way of reigniting or keeping alive a sense of passion.
"There are two types of sexual desire," she explains, "spontaneous desire during which you become horny and then decide to act upon it or not, or responsive desire where arousal is felt after the sexual interaction has begun. For example, an instance where you weren’t horny before kissing but now that you and your partner are making out, you’re in the mood. In long term relationships, responsive desire becomes more and more common, and without random bouts of horniness, there needs to be more of an effort to remember to initiate sex at all. Proposing playing a sex game is a thoughtful way of letting your partner know you’re still interested in them sexually, even if you don’t randomly jump their bones."
Stewart agrees, referencing three primary benefits for couples engaging in sex games: "They help you to spend quality time together and get to know each other in a different way;" they release hormones that help you "chemically and emotionally bond with your lover'" and those increased bonds "facilitate you into being more physical with your lover."

"Inspiration games offer suggestions to help spice things up (perfect for long term couples)," says Dr. O'Reilly. "I like this scratch card version."

Stewart specifically recommends this game for long-term couples, commenting, "This card game is good because it helps you to have sexual goals with your lover, especially if you've been in a rut. It has 30 days of daily activities that you and your partner can initiate. It has really great reviews and it helps you to look forward to something each and every day!"

Rowntree recommends this game for couples who are looking to heighten the emotional and physical intimacy. "Our Moments is great for couples regardless of how long you have been together," she explains, "because the game is structured around asking questions to foster intimacy—many of which you might not have even thought to ask in the course of your usual small talk."

There are certainly a number of questions about emotional intimacy in this popular, TikTok-famous deck, but according to one customer, "80%-90% of the questions are sexual."
If you're interested in trying something new, like kink, group sex, certain sex toys, or role-play, it might be nerve-wracking to come up with a new sexual repertoire all on your own. Games, therefore, are a great way to start to gain inspiration and try new things with your partner.
Games are also excellent if you know you want to get raunchier, but aren't sure how. "Sex games present a chance to do or experience things that you or your partner might not have even thought of, or considered otherwise," says Rowntree.
Below, some of the best games for the sexually adventurous.

"If you want a game that will help you to push the boundaries and experience new sensations with lots of variety," says Dr. O'Reilly, "consider the Dirty Deeds." Angie Rowntree adds that this game is great when you or your partner "want to try something a little kinkier but don’t want to overwhelm all at once."

Dr. O'Reilly also recommends this unique game, which she says "encourages you to slow down, set the mood and be in the moment."

According to Rowntree, this game "will excite your inner nerd with the multi-sided die—but trust us: the 'quests' you’re going on in this game are much wilder than your regularly scheduled tabletop session. With 96 foreplay options and 24 sex positions, you’ll be up all night long, so use lube and hydrate!"

Designed to inspire threesomes and other forms of group sex, with reviewers raving about its gender and sexual orientation inclusivity along with its irresistible fun.
Foreplay is somewhat game-like in and of itself, being that it's characterized by teasing, but it can often be rushed or passed over. For that reason, Jones finds sex games to be a great way of prolonging anticipation.
"Foreplay is all about delayed satisfaction, and that anticipation can be so sexy when you view it as a crucial ingredient in the sexual interaction instead of something to be rushed through," she says. "Anticipation lives in the excitement phase of the sexual response cycle, the first stage preceding orgasm. It’s the key to breaking out of a routine, which in the context of sex tends to be all about getting to the goal (or climax) as fast as possible. Instead, we want to slow it down, and savor each moment. Games can be a great way to do that!"

Marla Renee Stewart says that this "is a good game for folks who like a little snack with their sex. This game is for both long-term and short-term couples because it helps people get to know each other in a fun way with foreplay. And per the reviews, the candy tastes great, too!"

Dr. O'Reilly suggests the incorporation of "intimate conversations" into your foreplay games, explaining that "games that get you talking about feeling, fears, dreams, fantasies and vulnerabilities are a great place to start whether you’re in a long-term relationship or you’ve just met. Use Your Mouth is perfect. It’s created by a therapist & sexologist and receives rave reviews."

This game has 4.8/5 star rating, with review after review extolling the game's ability to organically produce conversations about sexual preferences, turn-ons, and kinks. One reviewer writes, "Sex is difficult to talk about for some people and the cards are a good way of getting the conversation started" regarding the truth cards, while another adds, "As for the dares, we only got through a few, so that should tell you how good they are."

Tara Jones loves the idea of using trivia as a sex game, pointing out that it "requires minimum planning, during which your partner may only take steps towards you if they answer each question right, and once they reach you, they may do what they like."
Foreplay is fantastic, but there comes a point when it's time for the main event. And if you're looking to turn that into a game that you'll remember for ages to come, try a game like the ones below.

Customers love this game for its out-of-the-box prompts. One wrote, "Super fun game that helped me and my partner connect even further and made oral even [more fun] than before."

"Feeling like you need an erotic escape without hitting the airport or filling up the gas tank?" asks Rowntree. "The Sex Around The World Couples Board Game presents you with 36 unique sexual experiences to try that are taken from cultures around the world and also throughout human history."

Rowntree recommends this card game for those interested in discovering more sex positions, explaining that they "give you various scenarios (i.e. she wants a g-spot orgasm, we want a quickie) and then plenty of tips for “nailing” each position so you both end up satisfied."

Rowntree highly recommends this game for couples who are "really into oral," and reviewers seem to agree. One even writes that they had so much fun playing this with their partner, they didn't sleep all night.
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
]]>"One of the most common misconceptions is that something is wrong with people for engaging in kinks in the bedroom and within their relationships, but that isn't true," says Lovehoney sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova. "Kink gives people an opportunity to explore themselves and their relationships on many different levels."
Kink is essentially any unconventional sexual practice and includes everything from bondage to roleplay to dominant/submissive experimentation. And contrary to popular belief, kink doesn't necessarily need to be all that out of the ordinary.
"In general, we still do not live in an entirely sex-positive society," says Angie Rowntree, Founder & Director of ethical, sex-positive porn site Sssh.com. "The definition that I’ve adopted to explain sex positivity is, 'All sex is good sex as long as it’s consensual and pleasurable.' This simple definition challenges some of the biggest misconceptions about kink—namely that kink is weird, strange or perverted (this is a word I particularly dislike!)."
If, like many of us, you've indulged or thought about indulging in kink in the bedroom, then you've come to the right place. We got in touch with a slew of sexperts equipped to answer all your most pressing questions about the best sex toys for kink, how to have a conversation with your partner about kink, and how to get started.
Many people see BDSM and/or kink as purely sexual and lacking in affection, but this misconception couldn't be further from the truth.
Indeed, Frye-Nekrasova agrees, pointing out that care, communication, and trust are "deeply ingrained in kinky activities." She elaborates, "When you are safely and properly engaging in kinky activities, you have communication about what is and isn't okay between partners. There is communication in place so that everyone is heard throughout the experiences, and there is trust: Trust that someone will not take advantage of the situation or you, trust in knowing that the situation will play out as previously discussed, and trust in the partner."
Dr. Holly Richmond, who is a Dame Clinical Board medical advisor, somatic psychotherapist, licensed marriage & family therapist, and certified sex therapist, agrees that kink seamlessly blends into any consensual, affectionate, and loving relationship, and refutes the assumption that kink is necessarily dangerous, saying that, when coupled with thorough communication, "kink is the opposite of dangerous. Kink is thoughtful, transparent, and consent-driven. Because of copious amounts of clear communication, the possibilities for pleasure are endless."
She goes on to point out that for long-term couples, kink can be an essential aspect of partners' sexual repertoire, because it "offers the novelty that keeps things hot. Novelty is the seat of human desire, and for the couple in long-term relationships, finding things that are new or provide a sense of adventure in the bedroom (or elsewhere!) isn’t always easy. Kink is an ideal solution for bringing freshness back to a solid relationship where things have, perhaps, gotten a little stale."
Although kink is fabulous when safe and consensual, as with all sexual activities, it's important to practice safety and to consistently check in with one's partner(s) during sex—especially with acts like pain-play, BDSM, and role-play.
"Submission never means 'non-consensual' or 'reluctant,'" says Rowntree, encouraging partners to communicate with complete openness before, during, and after sex, and suggesting that those interested in "serious BDSM play" take classes and connect with the BDSM community in order to thoroughly educate themselves on ensuring safety.
One well-known way of establishing sexual boundaries within kink, for example, is using safe words.
"When people play with power and sensation in a sexual, body-based way, safe words ensure that the sensations are always pleasurable rather than hurtful. For some people, pain is part of their sexual repertoire, but pain is also an essential part of how they experience pleasure. Anything that feels hurtful or especially uncomfortable—physically or emotionally—has the capacity to be paused or stopped with a safe word," says Dr. Richmond. "Be sure to choose a word that isn’t “stop” or “no” since those are often part of power dynamics or role-playing scenes. My clients tend to choose a word that is unlikely to come up in a sexual scenario, like 'violin,' 'poddle,' or 'sidewalk.'"
Sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, M.A., sexpert for sexual wellness brand Lovers, adds that safe words don't even need to be words—especially if your kink of choice involves gagging or if you have difficulty verbalizing yourself during sex. She suggests, "You can do things like hold your hand out, a fist up, or even tapping out."
Finally, be sure to communicate with your partner(s) after sex as well—particularly if you really liked or disliked something that they did. This both keeps you safe and guarantees satisfying, uninhibited play in the future.

Dame The Power Trip Kit $240 $218 | Dame
This sex toy kit has it all: A g-spot vibrator, an external vibrator, and a bottle of premium lube to facilitate your (or you and your partner's) first foray into sex toys.View Deal

Lovehoney Oh! Feather Tickler $10 $4 | Lovehoney
Whether you're just discovering BDSM or you're beginning to explore roleplay, a feather tickler like this one is a must-have.View Deal
The world of kink is vast, and can be accessible to all people, regardless of their level of experience, so long as one moves at a gradual pace that ensures the comfort and safety of all parties involved.
"BDSM/kink is a large encompassing genre of sexual practices, and there’s plenty of space to explore for adults at all levels of experience," Rowntree confirms. "For instance, blindfolding a partner with a scarf, or tying their hands together - that is kink. Tickling them with a feather is kink, but so are the more elaborate forms like rope bondage, suspension, flogging, etc, which should never be attempted without proper training."
So if you and/or your partner(s) are new to kink and want to start with something on the tame side, check out some of our favorite products below that are perfect for the kink-curious.
Best Set for Sex Toy Beginners
Dr. Richmond advises, "As you begin to explore, remember bigger, faster or stronger is not always better!" Thus, she specifically recommends this kit for beginners for its ability to help partners gently explore each other's preferences and for the fact that it includes a natural, aloe-based lube for safe, smooth fun. It also includes two of Dame’s most popular vibrators, one of which is meant for g-spot stimulation while the other is meant for clitoral stimulation (but is also gender-inclusive and can provide external pleasure to any and every body).
Pros: expert-approved; three products for the price of one; inclusive of all anatomies; beginner-friendly
Cons: vibrators are made from silicone, so are not compatible with silicone-based lubes
Customer Review: "Extremely happy with this!!! It is very comfortable; the material is extremely soft and it's easy to hold. It reaches all the right spots, great for solo or couple play. Has definitely added an extra level to the bedroom for my partner and I." -Dame
Best Feather Tickler
As Rowntree mentioned, a feather tickler is a great gateway to kink. Being that it doesn't induce pain of any sort and is non-penetrative, it's a fairly innocent, playful way of thinking outside the box when you're between the sheets. For users of all experience levels, it’s a great way of heightening anticipation through teasing, and it can heighten sensation when used in tandem with sex toys or with partnered sex itself. It comes in both purple and black, and has an eight inch long handle that reviewers say is comfortable to hold.
Pros: great for beginners; affordable; easy to use; expert-approved
Cons: some users wish it had a longer handle
Customer Review: "My wife and I enjoy using this when giving each other a massage. Feels great when blindfolded. Is super soft to the touch, and the short handle makes it easy to hold. Would highly recommend to couples."
Best Beginner Set for Sensory Play
This kit includes a clitoral vibrator, a soft blindfold, a menthol pleasure balm, and a cute, unassuming silicone carrying case that makes it perfect for a weekend getaway. In particular, reviewers laud this kit for its quiet yet tremendously effective rabbit vibrator, which is made from silicone, has a battery life of 60 minutes, and is USB-rechargeable. The pleasure balm, meanwhile, is made from a number of natural ingredients including cocoa seed butter, shea butter, grapeseed oil, and sweet almond oil.
Pros: great introduction to temperature play, comes with a carrying case; three sex products for the price of one
Cons: vibrator is silicone, so is not compatible with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "This kit is great and the packaging is lovely, would make a brilliant gift. The bullet is really powerful and the balm is absolutely amazing, really increased the intensity of the orgasm. The storage case is fantastic and could be used for so many other things." -Lovehoney
Best Set for Bondage Beginners
According to one reviewer, this set is ideal for beginners. They said that their partner, a bondage "first timer," was comfortable with both the feel of the collar and cuff as well as the length of the chain. You can also rest assured that the collar and cuffs contain metal that’s completely nickel-free, and both can be detached from the matte black chain if that makes the wearer more comfortable. Finally, it’s completely adjustable, so the wearer can decide what makes them feel safest—and what turns them on the most.
Pros: good for beginners; adjustable; made from nickel-free metal; detachable
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Cuffs and collar were very comfortable. The chain length also provided comfort to my partner who is a fist-timer at bondage." -Babeland
Spanking and flogging are probably among the first sex acts you think of when you think of kink. These acts can be immensely pleasurable for both the giving and receiving parties, but they still have a reputation as violent.
"Probably the biggest misconception is the way in which safe, sane and fully consensual BDSM play has been equated with abuse or violence, or that BDSM is only about sex," says Angie Rowntree. "Many people simply do not understand what BDSM is."
If you're interested in spanking or being spanked, try starting with using your hands to lightly smack your partner—with their consent, of course—once things have begun to heat up. Marla Renee Stewart also suggests taking classes on sexual flogging and spanking in order to master a technique by which you avoid hurting your partner.
"Once you feel good about that, you can move on to a spanking instrument," she says. Keep scrolling to check out a few of our favorites.
Best Flogger for Impact Play
Stewart specifically recommends this flogger, saying, "Using a flogger can be pretty good, too, because some floggers are softer and you can hit harder with your lover feeling that it might not be as hard." This is because of its soft polyester tassels, which don’t necessarily need to sting the receiver upon impact (depending on the level of force applied) and can also be used for gentle stroking, tickling, and teasing. The flogger also features a comfortable handle that’s easy to grip.
Pros: good for all experience levels;
Cons: some, more experienced users wish it was more intense
Customer Review: "Was soft enough for easing into a new experience but still offers some sting when needed. Handle is well made and has a good grip." -Lovers
Best Riding Crop for Impact Play
Riding crops, like floggers and paddles, are used for spanking and stroking. Unlike floggers, however, riding crops are made from firm leather or polyester and have little to no give, making them perfect for those who enjoy intense impact play (like spanking) and are a little more experienced. This particular crop is another of Stewart's recommendations for when you "start experimenting," and is 10 inches long and made from vinyl and ABS plastic. It has a five-star rating on Lovers’ website and is affordable to boot.
Pros: great length for customizable play; expert-approved; made from durable material
Cons: not as soft as real leather
Customer Review: "This works great. Me and my girl have a average size flogger, that she loves but I find it’s too long to use during sex. I found this to be a great length for multiple points of contact as well it’s a slight sting that makes her crave more. Highly recommend." -Lovers
Best Paddle for Impact Play
Paddles, like riding crops, are made from firm leather or vinyl and, because they have less give than floggers, they result in a harsher sensation when used for spanking. Many paddles also have textured text on them so that they leave temporary marks on the receiver’s skin—in this case, the word BABY, which is written backwards on the paddle so that it displays properly on skin. The paddle made from durable vinyl and even features a wrist strap for the paddler so that it doesn’t budge during use.
Pros: long handle; features a wrist strap; great for kink play
Cons: inflexible handle
Customer Review: "Spanking good time—It made quite an impression on me." -Babeland
Best Underwear for Kink and BDSM
Looking to invite some spanking? Then check out this flattering pair of underwear, which provides full coverage in the front but has a completely exposed back made specifically for easy spanking and/or anal play. Reviewers also say it’s incredibly flattering, with one pleased customer calling it "the sexiest butt lift money can buy." The underwear is made from flexible latex—perfect for kink play and for that classic BDSM look, though, of course, not intended for longwear.
Pros: flattering; makes kink and sexual play more convenient
Cons: not suitable for those with latex allergies or for use with oil-based lube (oil based lube can degrade latex)
Customer Review: "These do a great job of showing off your butt in a sexy way. I got a size up so they were easier to get on and, of course, off." -Lovehoney
Angie Rowntree cites "blindfolding a partner with a scarf, or tying their hands together" as a great form of kink for people of all experience levels.
"If you’re looking at 'beginner' BDSM sex toys," she continues, "try out some handcuffs (they make soft, adjustable ones with velcro restraint so no worrying about a lost key!), or a sexy satin blindfold to experience sensory deprivation, or explore impact play with a paddle or riding crop. You can frequently find 'beginner bundles' of BDSM toys in many sex shops."
Best Restraint System for Kink and BDSM
"We love Sportsheets for safe and discreet 'under the bed' BDSM restraints," says Rowntree. The brand offers a number of restraints for tying up arms, legs, or both, but this particular option is perfect for those who want to keep their restraints out— while also keeping it subtle. They can be set up with any bed of any size and stored beneath the sheets or beneath the bed frame itself. Plus, they're easy to set up and remove, making them the perfect on-the-go toy for the kinky couple.
Pros: adjustable; portable; subtle; easy to set up and use; expert-approved; fit all mattress sizes; include quick-release clips
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "It is easy to fit and discrete to leave in place permanently—just push the straps back under the mattress. It fitted my king size bed fine. The straps and cuffs look well made and durable—and don't look like the should break easily. The cuffs are comfortable enough to use quite tightly, and pull against, without causing injuries. It was certainly a turn on to see the cuffs out on the bed ready for use, and using it was even more of a turn on. It is also possible to manage a few different restraint positions with it, depending on how you position the restraints in relation to the mattress and also how the person is positioned. It all this was a really good buy, and one that I think will get a lot of use and should last a while." -Lovehoney
Best Handcuffs for Kink and BDSM
If you’re interested in solely restraining your wrists (or your partner’s), or if you want to experiment with bondage that doesn’t involve being tied down to the bed, consider a comfortable pair of sexy handcuffs. "If you want to dip your toys in bondage I always recommend [these] furry cuffs as a starting point," says Frye-Nekrasova. "The key to picking toys out as a newbie is materials and softness. If you don't know yet the form or intensity to use with toys, using a softer material is better." Indeed, this pair is plush and comfortable, latex-free, and comes with a quick-release lever.
Pros: expert-approved; has a quick-release lever; secure lock; comfortable; adjustable; affordable
Cons: some users found them heavy
Customer Review: "This is an easy way to add some adrenaline into your sex life. I really like that there’s a safety lock so you can easily set yourself free if need be. I would recommend this to someone who is new to bondage and isn’t sure where to start!" -Lovehoney
Ball Ball Gag for Kink and BDSM
Ball gags are often enjoyed by people who are more experienced with bondage. They’re worn over the mouth, with the ball in one’s open mouth, so purchasing one that’s comfortable, high-quality, and safe should be top priority. According to reviewers, this option from Lovehoney is breathable, that it’s comfortable for longwear (relatively speaking), that the high-quality strap stays secure, and that it's "perfect for all experience levels." One person also notes that the strap never gets caught in their partner's hair—something that should assuage the concerns of long-haired people everywhere.
Pros: comfortable; breathable (there are three holes in the ball)
Cons: can induce drool
Customer Review: "I have searched for a long time to find a ball gag that not only allows you to breathe but is also very comfortable for your lips. I find a lot of ball gags pinch or scratch at the sides of your mouth but this one was perfect." -Lovehoney

Just as a blindfold or a pair of handcuffs can increase the temperature and enhance sensation in the bedroom, orgasm deprivation or delay can increase urgency when you're with a partner. This adjustable, modern-day chastity belt is designed to prevent vaginal and anal play, so that by the time you and your partner are ready to get going, you're both positively aching for it. The item also comes with optional chastity locks for added security, and it’s padded for optimal comfort.
Pros: padded for comfort; optional locks; adjustable waistband; heart-shaped detail for teasing
Cons: leather is stiff in the beginning, before repeated/prolonged wear
Customer Review: "I had been searching for a chastity belt for a while. I was looking for something leather and feminine which was proving hard to find. This is a great real leather piece and is very good quality for the price. After reading the size description I was worried it may be too big (I’m a size 10) but when I tried it on it fit perfectly and could be made smaller so would definitely work for a size 8. It’s comfortable and the leather is smooth. It’s easy to put on and looks amazing. The little peek a boo heart shows just enough skin but doesn’t allow any stimulation as it’s too high. Perfect piece for anyone who wants to introduce teasing into their bedroom play. " -Lovehoney
Nipple play is a great way to get started with kink, since nipples are erogenous zones that you've likely already had experience stimulating. If you're interested in exploring beyond standard caressing and sucking, try nipple toys to experiment with different sensations. "If you don't know yet the form or intensity to use with toys using a softer material is better," suggests Frye-Nekrasova. Then, feel free to experiment with clamps, silicone toys, and other products, like the ones below.

Frye-Nekrasova recommends these soft, easy-to-use nipple suckers for beginners to nipple play. They're made of smooth, hypoallergenic silicone to ensure comfortable, seamless fun, and are especially easy to use when paired with lube (so long as it’s not silicone-based lube, which degrades silicone toys). For best results, Lovehoney recommends that users apply water-based lube to the rims of the nipple suckers and then secure them to the nipple for up to ten minutes before removing. After removal, the nipples will be highly sensitive, amplifying the pleasure of touch.
Pros: comfortable; soft; hypoallergenic; easy to use and clean; enhance sensation
Cons: some users found them difficult to keep on; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "These little devices are a game changer. I like to pop them on whilst my partner is giving me oral for extra stimulation and they also help my nipples stay erect for longer." -Lovehoney
Best Beginner Nipple Clamps
Clamps are great options for those who are more experienced with nipple play or who prefer pinching sensations over stroking and sucking. These clamps are among Frye-Nekrasova's top recommendations, and they’re also beloved by reviewers. Not only do customers say that they enhance pleasure and make nipples more sensitive to touch, but they also enjoy how cute their heart-shaped charms look. Rounded out and designed to be gentle, they’re also completely adjustable, hypoallergenic, and are made from nickel-free metal.
Pros: adjustable; gentle; hypoallergenic; expert-approved; nickel-free; secure once on
Cons: some users say they can be tricky to get on
Customer Review: "These are super good for beginners, they are really easy to use and adjust so you can find the perfect amount of pressure. They absolutely heighten orgasms! They're also really discreet and look cute on, I found that they were very unintimidating. The silicone is really soft too." -Lovehoney
Best Adjustable Nipple Clamps
These nickel-free metal nipple clamps are also great options for those who like intense nipple play—particularly those who like a more traditional BDSM look, considering the long, chunky chain that attaches the two clamps. Their tips are lined with rubber that’s easy to slip on and off so that users can determine the texture and intensity of the pressure, and the tension level is adjustable as well. Reviewers are very enthusiastic about this product's efficacy, writing that it’s comfortable, easy to adjust, and great both beginner and advanced nipple clamp users.
Pros: great for all experience levels; adjustable; removable rubber covers; top-rated
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The material used is soft, making them comfortable. The spring pressure is strong enough so they stay in place, but the screw can be adjusted to reduce or increase pressure." -Adam & Eve
Best Nipple Clamps for Experienced Users
Many people who enjoy the pinching sensation of nipple clamps also enjoy pairing them with a clitoral clamp, and this toy combines both into one. Each clamp is covered in soft rubber to avoid irritation, and all three are completely adjustable so that you can customize your experience. The clamps are united by metal chains that culminate in a single rins, all of which are made to be dense and heavy to optimal stimulation. Those who want to heighten pleasure even further can pull on the central ring (or ask their partner to), which stimulates all three areas at once.
Pros: comfortable rubber clamp covers; stimualtes three erogenous zones at once
Cons: may not be suitable for beginners
Customer Review: "I love this the chains are pretty long but you can always take some links out of use them for pulling on. The clamps are soft and steady and stay on great. I love that they are adjustable." -Adam & Eve
Whether you're an aspiring kink connoisseur or you're already a BDSM sexpert, it's important to pay attention to the quality of a toy before you try it out. Below, we've listed some of the best, most highly rated toys for the kink-advanced.
Best Sex Sling for Kink and BDSM
Sex slings and swings allow users to access new angles and positions that might be uncomfortable or unsustainable on a bed. They’re also great for achieving faster, deeper g-spot stimulation during sex, and this one is easy to install in any room—simply hook it over a sturdy door, and you’re ready to go. Reviewers rave that it’s comfortable and easy to use, especially considering its foot straps, hand grips, and padded seat. Plus, it supports up to 325 pounds and can be adjusted to suit any and every body.
Pros: adjustable; comfortable; easy to use; easy to install (no hardware required)
Cons: needs to be used on a sturdy, solid (not hollow) door
Customer Review: “Takes all the weight off your lower back so there's no strain. Also it's really fun to sit in there! I could take a book in there." -Babeland
Best Electrostimulation Toy for Kink and BDSM
When you think of impact play, you likely think of traditional floggers, paddles, and whips, but many kink and BDSM enthusiasts also enjoy electrostimulation play, which mimics the sensation of having small electric shocks. This leather spanking paddle combines impact play with electrostimulation by incorporating three metal conductor pads into the paddle, which safely administer a topical electric current to the receiver. Reviewers say it’s great for both experienced users as well as those who are new to electrostimulation, and that it’s great for foreplay.
Pros: good for different experience levels; can be used as a normal paddle and for electrostimulation; easy to clean
Cons: some users say it can be confusing to set up; should not be used on those who have heart conditions or are pregnant
Customer Review: "This literally awoke every nerve ending, every time the plates and paddle came in contact with my buttocks it gave a short but deeply erotic tingle that ran through my skin and gave me immense pleasure. It is not recommended using this particular paddle for heavy spanking but instead alternating the level of power...Overall, this has to be my favorite ElectraStim toy. I love the versatility and how this amazing piece of equipment can turn from an ordinary paddle to a paddle of electric ecstasy in just a few seconds...As with all ElectraStim equipment, you must be extremely careful when using, the paddle for example cannot be used above the waist or with people who have heart conditions or who are pregnant...Be it a heavy BDSM session or some erotic foreplay, this amazing paddle brings highly stimulating sensations into the bedroom and is not to be missed out on." -Lovehoney
Best Collar and Leash for Kink and BDSM
Leather collars and leashes are among the most popular and iconic sex toys for kink and BDSM play, and a great addition to the sex collection of anyone involved in intense dominant/submissive roleplaying. This option is made from studded black leather that’s lined in order to be comfortable for the wearer. Crucially, it’s also adjustable, featuring Velcro strips that are easy to use so you can quickly adapt the collar to fit just right. Reviewers love how comfortable and durable the piece is, as well as how long the leash is (42 inches!).
Pros: comfortable; lined; adjustable; durable; long leash; gender neutral
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Strong and gender neutral: I like that it is not too masculine or feminine and it holds together well. It is also adjustable for different neck sizes." -Lovers
Best Massage Candle for Kink and BDSM
Another exciting way to spice up a relationship in the bedroom is to use massage candles. These hypoallergenic, body-safe candles allow one partner to drip hot wax onto the other, resulting in a stimulating sensation that doesn’t leave a burn or lasting mark (any redness should go away in 12 to 24 hours). Then, the wax can be used as massage oil once it cools down. To use these, all you need to do is hold the candle about 18 inches away from your partner’s body and let it drip.
Pros: affordable; highly rated; latex-free; wax can be used as massage oil
Cons: leaves a temporary mark; wax can't be used as lube
Customer Review: "Using these whilst tied up is amazing! Having no idea where the wax is going to fall and sting really helps add to the excitement. The candles leave a nice red mark that lasts for a good few minutes. This looks amazing from both the subs and doms position...As for cleaning up afterwards, It could not be any easier! All you have to do is peel it off your skin. We did have a little trouble when some wax landed on our bed sheet, but all you can do for that is be more careful next time." -Lovehoney
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
If you know that you're interested in kink, it might be nerve-wracking to bring your desires up to a partner that you've heretofore had more traditional sexual encounters with. There are communicative, positive, and fun ways to talk about your fantasies, though—without making your partner feel attacked or defensive.
"It is most effective to share what you like and what you would like to explore, rather than pointing out aspects of the sexual relationship that you don’t like or are bored with," says Dr. Richmond. The goal is to help your partner stay engaged rather than get defensive. Leading with curiosity and kindness almost always ensures this."
For instance, she recommends opening the conversation by asking one's partner if there is anything they would like to try. "By asking them what they are interested in exploring, you will also have a chance to share," she explains. "For example, 'I’ve been really enjoying when we’ve played with different toys, and was thinking I'd like to try _______. What do you think? What are you enjoying most about our sex life right now? Is there anything you’ve been wanting to try?'"
In the same vein, Stewart suggests bringing the subject up casually or teasingly, with phrases like, "I love how strong your hands are. I think they would be great giving me a spanking. Don't you think?"
You can even explore the possibilities within kink together, by looking through kink activities or kinky porn online together. Javay Frye-Nekrasova points out that Lovehoney's Instagram posts a number of kink ideas, and that "you can send them to your partner to start the conversation and gauge their interests all while showing them different toys and products you would be interested in using with them." She also recommends taking a BDSM Test "to figure out what exactly you both are interested in and where you align or differ in terms of kinks."
"The purpose of lube is to enhance sexual experiences by offering more wetness and slickness," explains Javay Frye-Nekrasova, a Sex Educator and Pleasure Expert at Lovehoney. "This is particularly important for sexual activities that can cause friction. Lube can reduce friction and minimize the chances of microtears or pain during sexual activity." This means that people who are struggling with vaginal dryness and/or looking to try anal toys should absolutely look into purchasing a high-quality sexual lubricant.
That being said, there's a daunting number of sexual lubricants on the market, and an incredible variety of lube types. For that reason, we tapped Frye-Nekrasova's expertise in order to demystify all things lube so that you can learn about how to use lube, what type is best for you, and how to make your lube experience more sexy than slip-and-slide.
Sex can't always be spontaneous, nor should it be. When you're with a partner, feel free to explore sex games, toys, and lubricants together that enhance your experience, make you feel more comfortable, and ensure that you both stay safe. When it comes to lubrication, Frye-Nekrasova stresses that using lube is "crucial for anal sex. The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so you need lube for any type of anal play." This also applies to people experiencing vaginal dryness, as having penetrative sex when one's vagina is too dry can cause pain, tearing, and damage to the vaginal lining.
Still not convinced that lube is right for you? "Lube also works to add stimulation," continues Frye-Nekrasova. "When you are well lubricated, you can better experience all the pleasurable sensations."
Plus, lube doesn't need to be limited to just the vagina and rectum. "Lube can be highly beneficial during nipple play," says Frye-Nekrasova. "Cooling or warming lubes can help get nipples hard for play and make it easier to put on nipple clamps since the nipples are hard." So, think outside the box! Experiment with lube on you and/or your partner's most sensitive, touch-hungry spots, no matter where they are.
Using lube for the first time can be overwhelming, especially since our middle and high school health classes rarely give us an education in this oft-neglected subject in sexuality. But don't worry: We understand, and we've got you covered.
"First-time lube users should keep in mind where on their body they are using the lube and what they are using it for," says Frye-Nekrasova. "Not all lube types can be used with all toy materials and condom types. It can seem overwhelming at first, but remembering that water-based lube is a universal lube can make picking a lube easier. The most important thing to keep in mind in terms of ingredients and applications is that you don't want to use oil-based lubes with latex condoms. You don't want to use silicone lube with silicone sex toys."
Worried about sensitive skin? Frye-Nekrasova has an answer for that, too. "If you start to break out somewhere that you applied lube—this can be hives, little bumps, rashes, anything abnormal for your skin—you should probably discontinue use of that lube," she explains. "If there is a burning or redness from lube, then you want to stop using that specific lube as well. It's difficult to know which specific ingredient might be causing the reaction so be sure to pay attention to ingredients listed on the bottle and see if there are any repeats between the lubes."
And if you're like me and hate a mess, there are also lubricant options that evade the need for an extensive clean-up. Opt for a water-based or non-staining lube, suggests Frye-Nekrasova, because "sticking to water-based lube betters your chances of a mess-free experience. Silicone, oil-based, and hybrid lubes tend to be messier and more likely to stain." But, she adds, if you enjoy or require silicone- and/or oil-based lubes, "you can put down a towel or a blanket for sex, like the Liberator Fascinator Throw."
Water-based lubes are great for both penile and anal stimulation, driving Frye-Nekrasova to call this lubricant type a "safe bet" that's especially popular among people with vaginas. "For vaginal sex, the lube choice should fall to the person with the vulva," reminds Frye-Nekrasova. "Vulvas can be easily disturbed or upset by what is put in them, especially the pH, so you want to ensure it is a lube that they enjoy and doesn't irritate them."

Reviewers positively rave about this option, citing that it's long-lasting, thick enough for "rigorous play," and, in one particularly spirited case, "ASMR for my vagina." I cannot conceive of a more compelling endorsement. It’s also from eco-certified botanical ingredients that moisturize skin, like hyaluronic acid, jujuba fruit extract, and panax ginseng root extract. This formula results in a thick consistency similar to that of silicone-based lubes, but because it’s not made with silicone, you can use it with condoms and silicone toys without issue. Win-win.
Pros: compatible with toys and condoms; good for beginners; thick; made with natural ingredients
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Really good quality, can't believe is water based with that texture, 100% recommend." -Babeland

PlusOne doesn't just sell (beloved) sex toys for partners and solo play alike—they also boast this water-based lubricant, which reviewers call "silky smooth," comparing its luxurious texture to that of thick, silicone-based products. However, since it’s water-based and is not made from silicone or oil, it’s compatible with silicone toys and latex condoms—though it can’t be used with polyurethane condoms. It’s also free of parabens and glycerin, is easy to use and to clean, and doesn’t stain sheets or clothing.
Pros: doesn't stain; compatible with toys and latex condoms; free of parabens and glycerin; expert-approved
Cons: not compatible with polyurethane condoms
Customer Review: "I bought a bottle out of pure curiosity... and I sure was surprised!! This stuff is amazing! It's different then any other lube I've used. It doesn't get sticky like almost all of the other lubes do. Very unique liquid that has a silky satin feeling that lasts. If it drys, add just a tiny bit of water and—wow! Just as slick again." -PlusOne
Just because water-based lube works well in a variety of situations, doesn't mean that it's the end-all-be-all! Silicone- and oil-based lubes also have their advantages, depending on the situation, and Frye-Nekrasova concurs. "You generally want to use long-lasting lube for anal play, so silicone lubes work well in this instance."
And if you're concerned about transitioning into silicone-based products, she has helpful logistical advice: "Less is more when it comes to silicone lubes, so you don't have to pour the whole bottle. Just use a decent amount for your activity and reapply as necessary rather than starting with an abundance of lube, because that is a guaranteed way to create a mess."
Heavy-handed? Same. In that case, she suggests "using lubes with a pump rather than ones you have to pour can also help minimize mess."

Frye-Nekrasova calls this option a "great silicone anal lube," and reviews confirm this option's long-lasting nature and "silky feel." Per the “back door” reference in its name, it’s made with anal play in mind, so you can rest assured that its formula is thick enough to ease penetration without uncomfortable friction or pain—but it’s ideal for vaginal play as well. Made with soothing jojoba oil, the formula is made to last all day long so it can also be used for longwear toys like butt plugs.
Pros: expert-approved; thick formula; long-lasting; made with natural ingredients
Cons: silicone-based, so is not compatible with silicone sex toys
Customer Review: "Great product for anal play. As a beginner to anal play, this product was smooth and silky to the feel. Made intercourse much more enjoyable than any other products we have tried. Lasted much longer without reapplying, which is an added bonus. Price is a little high, however for the quality of product, [it's] within reason. I would pay more for a great product that lasts longer without reapplying. Honestly, I did not notice that it took the initial 'pain' away, however once I relaxed it was enjoyable. Consistency of lube is somewhat thick gel-like to me, but doesn't leave a residue like other brands." -Lovehoney

Reviewers love this item from classic lube brand K-Y (you definitely saw their commercials during the early 2000s), calling this lube smooth, silky, and advising that a little goes a long way. Customers also note that it leaves skin feeling smooth and moisturized rather than sticky, and that it’s easy to clean up. While it’s not compatible with silicone sex toys, it’s perfect for use with metal or glass toys, or for vaginal or anal sex. It’s also free of fragrances, parabens, glycerin, and hormones.
Pros: fragrance-free; thick formula; natural feel; easy to clean up; long-lasting
Cons: not compatible with silicone sex toys
Customer Review: "Feels more natural than the water based products. Highly recommend!" -Adam & Eve
Oil-based lubes tend to be thicker and more slippery than their water-based counterpart—but that's not at all a bad thing. Frye-Nekrasova says, "Thicker, more gel-like lubes work great for anal play as they provide more cushion." For anal play, vaginal dryness, and even nipple play, the smooth, thick nature of oil-based lube might be a perfect fit.
However, Frye reminds us to never use oil-based lubricant with latex condoms. "It can break down the condoms," she cautions. Therefore, if you're using an oil-based option, make sure that you're using another means of birth control (if you're not trying to conceive) and that you and your partner have recently been tested for STDs.

This plant-based option is a consistent favorite on lists of the best lubes around, and with good reason. One customer, who suffered from "severe vaginal dryness" for years, was encouraged by her gynecologist to try oil-based lubricants, and after trying this particular one, her "life [went] back to normal." And it’s no wonder— the formula incorporates multiple certified organic ingredients, including sunflower seed oil, shea butter, beeswax, sweet almond oil, cocoa seed butter, and Vitamin E, all of which go a long way in moisturizing sensitive and/or dry skin.
Pros: uses natural ingredients; nourishing; long-lasting
Cons: can't be used with condoms
Customer Review: "I’m glad I found this product, for the first time in a long time we were able to make love. Menopause has caused me to experience severe atrophy & nothing had been happening in the bedroom but sleep. We are thankful that we found this product." -AH! YES

This coconut oil-based lubricant is made with organic ingredients, the most prominent of which is coconut. It’s designed for both pre-sex lubrication and for use as a sensual massage oil, and features a relaxing vanilla fragrance. It’s also edible (and has a vanilla taste!), is free of parabens, sulfates, and silicones, and is cruelty-free. It’s thick enough for comfortable anal sex, and reviewers love the way it smells and feels. Those who used it as a massage oil also loved its taste.
Pros: made with organic ingredients; popular smell; edible; cruelty-free; free of parabens, sulfates, and silicones
Cons: some users say it's hard to clean up
Customer Review: "This is a game changer. I'm pretty sensitive with lube products and have tried many others- this one is the only one that doesn't make me burn or itch. Also love that it's travel size!" -Revolve
Like skincare and beauty products, lubes can contain ingredients that irritate sensitive skin or throw off the delicate chemical balance of your genitals. "If it is someone with a more sensitive vulva, going with organic lubes tends to work well," says Frye-Nekrasova. "It is also important to keep in mind one's body. If you typically have sensitive skin, then maybe go for more natural lubes." Below, we've compiled some of the best natural options, for those who are uncompromising on synthetic-free sex.

Frye-Nekrasova specifically recommends this natural lube, whose active ingredients include hibiscus, vitamin E, plant cellulose, and green tea, all of which moisturize the skin while facilitating long lasting fun. Because the formula is water and aloe vera based and doesn’t contain oil or silicones, it’s also compatible with all toys and condoms. It’s also vegan and cruelty-free. Several reviewers, many of whom write that they have sensitive skin, say that this is their go-to product for pain-free vaginal and anal sex.
Pros: cruelty-free, vegan lube; works on sensitive skin; expert-approved; made with natural ingredients; safe for use with all condoms and sex toys
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "I really enjoy using this lube. I have used various lubes but sometimes I get an allergic reaction. Sliquid has a medium slick consistency that is neither too sticky nor too runny. This lube does not dry up too fast as compared to other lubes I have tried, removing the hassle of reapplying. It can also easily be washed off after use. It is odorless and does not have any taste. My go-to lube!" -Lovehoney

This luxury lube, which is infused with Vitamin E, has a devoted fan base. Its Amazon page is rife with reviews calling it the "best lube ever" and lauding its discreet packaging, long lasting formula, and "magical" ability to enhance sex that left one customer's wife "speechless." It's a silicone lubricant, though, so be sure not to use it with silicone toys. It’s also unscented and flavorless, and can be used underwater without being rendered ineffective—perfect for having fun in the bath or shower.
Pros: long lasting; doesn't stain; isn't sticky
Cons: not compatible with silicone sex toys
Customer Review: "After using many different brands of lube over the years I can say this is the best one I’ve ever tried. The difference was immediate and I need way less of this product than others. Way less. No sticky, gross mess, no smell, no taste. The bottle is small but after realizing how little is needed, that’s okay. Things just aren’t the same for women after menopause and this product really solved that problem. It feels natural." -Amazon
Cannabidiol, more commonly known as CBD, has exploded in popularity in recent years, and companies have infused everything from coffee to lotion to facial care with the hemp-based compound. And, to no one's surprise, CBD-based sexual lubricants have also hit the market.
According to Harvard Medical School and the European Journal of Pain, CBD has the power to aid with anxiety and chronic pain, which makes it an ideal ingredient in lubricant. If you're experimenting with anal sex for the first time, using lube to combat pain caused by vaginal dryness, or simply nervous, CBD-based lubricants may be just the solution for a relaxed, pleasurable experience.

This water-based lube is also paraben free, petrochemical free, and compatible with latex. Plus, it promises to never stain sheets or clothing. One reviewer, who has a condition that makes sex painful, writes, "This lube has given me my libido back. It gives me almost instant pain relief. It’s so good I have a subscription." And if you’re concerned about the CBD element of the product, rest assured—the CBD has been tested by third party labs to be safe, water-compatible, and fully absorbable.
Pros: enhances pleasure; lab-tested
Cons: some users found it didn't enhance sensation enough
Customer Review: "I have recommended this lube to 3 friends now. I literally love it so much. I've ordered around 5 so far. Also, I have interstitial cystitis and I swear this lube helps me to have sex and not experience the pelvic floor cramping after." -Kush Queen

"Relaxation makes all the difference when it comes to anal stimulation," says Emojibator's Director of Marketing, Vanessa Smith. For that reason, she stands behind this fragrance-free, water-based lube, and reviewers tend to agree with her. Several customers point out that this lube is far from greasy and is a breeze to clean. Plus, the formula is made so as not to stain sheets or clothing, and is contained within a twist-style bottle that makes for easy, accurate application. One customer also noted that it intensified her and her partner’s orgasms.
Pros: water-based, so compatible with all toys and condoms; fragrance-free; intensifies pleasure; expert-approved
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Hands down the BEST lube I have ever used. I have a huge gripe with lubes that dry out super fast and feel tacky. This lube is SUPER slick without causing stains or big messes, and feels like heaven during cis penetrative sex!!!!" -Emojibator
Many people enjoy when their partner applies heat or coolness to their bodies during sex or foreplay, and there's a reason for that: The nerve endings in your erogenous zones are quickly and intensely stimulated by heat and coolness, which can cause intense pleasure. Many temperature-play lubricants and gels also create tingling sensations for both partners, and particular impact the clitoris, so that you can experience your most intense orgasm yet.

This option is infused with menthol, resulting in a tingling sensation that reviewers say intensifies stimulation.This enhances pleasure for users of all anatomies—but should only be used externally. All you need to do is apply the product (in moderation!) to your clitoris, labia, or penis about 10 minutes before play, and voilà! This water-based, non-greasy formula also comes in a user-friendly bottle featuring a pump that’s a breeze to use—especially in the heat of the moment.
Pros: easy to use; intensifies pleasure; great for all anatomies
Cons: some users wish the tingling sensation was more powerful
Customer Review: "My go-to orgasm gel. I have tried a couple of different ones and this one by far is the best one. Changes from hot to cold builds up more sensation. Doesn’t cause irritation either like others I’ve used in the past." -Lovehoney

This toy-friendly, condom-friendly, water-based lubricant has nothing but four and five star reviews. And because it features two full bottles of lube, one of which is warming and the other cooling, you can customize your temperature experience based on your and your partner's comfort level. It also doesn’t stain and washes off easily with water, and is formulated without any gluten, silicone, glycerin, parabens, or hormones. Some customers warn, though, that the sensations are intense, so a little goes a long way.
Pros: affordable; two for the price of one; compatible with all toys and condoms
Cons: may be too intense for beginners
Customer Review: "I use these for anal and vaginal play. The heat is nice—not too hot. The cold is like playing with ice." -Amazon
If you want to make oral sex easier or more beginner-friendly, or if you plan on incorporating both oral sex and lube usage into one session, consider a flavored lubricant. It'll heighten your enthusiasm while you're pleasuring your partner, and they will be absolutely ecstatic to see that you're enjoying yourself.

Several satisfied customers write that this lube is delicious, and the company itself promises to turn your partner's body into "a moveable feast." Never did I ever think I'd be considering edible lube and an Ernest Hemingway reference in the same few seconds, but I'm here for it nonetheless. It’s made with oral sex in mind, but it’s also safe and effective for both vaginal and anal play. Plus, even though it’s formulated to taste sweet, it doesn’t contain any sugar.
Pros: water soluble; easy to clean; popular taste; odorless; free of sugar and parabens; compatible with all condoms and toys
Cons: some users found it sticky
Customer Review: "This lube is actually really tasty. It’s not super sweet and artificial tasting like most flavored lubes tend to be." -Adam & Eve

Multiple reviewers said that this tastes exactly “like it should,” without any of that chemical or overly sweet taste that consumers of flavored lube fear. It's also non-staining and water-based to boot, so you can use it with a variety of sex toys and condoms. Users say that it’s easy to clean up and lasts a long time, whether it’s used for anal sex, vaginal sex, or as an edible massage oil. It also comes in other flavors like strawberry, cotton candy, birthday cake, and mint chocolate chip.
Pros: compatible with all sex toys and condoms; refreshing flavor; free of sugar, hormones, and parabens; long-lasting; a little goes a long way
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The flavor is delicious and not too overwhelming, and the texture is smooth and non-sticky. It definitely enhanced our intimate moments and made them even more enjoyable." -Amazon
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Every lubricant on this list has been selected by Marie Claire's E-Commerce Writer, Gabrielle Ulubay, or has been recommended by a sex expert, such as a gynecologist, sex therapist, pelvic floor specialist, or another professional with verified, substantial experience in the sexual wellness field. Every single lubricant has a body-safe, high-quality formula, has been rigorously tested for safety, is made by a well-established brand, is sold by reputable vendors, and has been tested by our editor, by sex experts, or by reviewers to guarantee efficacy. The best lubricant for you depends on your needs, preferences, and on what you're using it for (i.e., do not use silicone-based lubricant with silicone sex toys, or oil-based lubricant with latex condoms). We've taken all of these factors into consideration when compiling this list.
Still, this doesn't mean that pleasurable anal sex is beyond reach! Keep scrolling to check out our best tips, tricks, and anal toys for a safe and overall booty-ful experience.
Zachary Zane, a sex columnist and sex expert for P.S. Condoms, recommends that if you're new to anal stimulation, you ease into it. "You definitely would like to start with something small," he advises. "A tiny butt plug or prostate massager is great for folks new to anal stimulation. I'd get a toy made from silicone instead of metal since silicone toys typically have a little bit more 'give.' Once you start getting comfortable with the butt plug, you can graduate to dildos, anal beads, anal hooks, and the like."
Meanwhile, Vanessa Smith, Director of Marketing at sex toy brand Emojibator, boils beginner anal exploration down to three key requirements: Communication, lubrication, and relaxation. "Get comfortable discussing anal play with your partner(s) and make sure they are too. If you're on your own, get comfortable thinking about it (and you can talk with yourself before/during/after play)," she says. And, on a logistical level, she adds, "Make sure you empty your bowels before indulging in any kind of anal play," so that you don't have to have any especially challenging conversations with a partner.
In terms of lubes, Smith says that this step is absolutely essential. "Remember: lube, lube, and more lube (but not numbing lube)! You want to be able to tell when something feels off or painful, so avoid numbing lube." In particular, she recommends Emojibator's Phuksaus Water-Based Premium Lube and/or their Phuksaus CBD Pleasure Gel.
Finally, try to relax and remember that sex is supposed to be fun! Smith advises that, whether you're alone or using a sex toy with a partner, you should try stimulating other erogenous zones while exploring anal play. "Make sure you're aroused when trying anal stimulation," Zane agrees. "You can stimulate your vagina or penis while using [a] toy in your rear end. And do your best not to clench. Lastly, take, big deep breaths! Try to relax!"
"Relaxation makes all the difference," Smith admits, and suggests trying anal stimulation in the bath or shower. The setting will help assuage any anxieties about making a mess, and Smith says that "warm water can help relax the muscles even more."

Happy Rabbit Small Rechargeable Vibrating Bunny Tail Butt Plug 4 Inch $30 $9 | Lovehoney
Not only is this vibrating anal plug perfect for beginners, but it's also playful-looking and a breeze to clean. View Deal

CalExotics Dr. Joel Premium Prostate Massager $30 $23 | PinkCherry
Beginners love this massager for how it gently probes the p-spot without stretching the rectum uncomfortably.View Deal
There are many anal toys made with beginners in mind, and we've rounded up some of the best. Per Zachary Zane's advice, you should start small and consider thin, silicone toys, or relaxing tools like prostate massagers (just because women don't have prostate glands, doesn't mean they can't enjoy these). In a similar vein, Vanessa Smith recommends anal beads, plugs, and training kits made for beginners.
But before you add a drawer's worth of anal toys to your cart, remember to explore the rectal area yourself (or with the help of a partner) first! "Start small by using just a finger with lots of lube then move up to toys," Smith agrees. After all, silicone's great, but there's nothing quite like skin-on-skin.
Best Anal Trainer Set for Girth
This kit comes with three plugs of steadily increasing lengths and widths, so that you can calmly, carefully explore anal play without hurting yourself. Several reviewers, who identify as beginners to anal play, cite this set as "perfect," "amazing," and "comfortable."
Pros: made for beginners; something for everyone (of all experience levels); affordable; easy to clean; three toys for the price of one
Cons: some users don't find the plugs flexible enough; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Neither my boyfriend nor I had tried anal play before—this kit was very easy to use, comfortable, and soft. Great for beginners. Both my boyfriend and I tried it, it cleans very well as well." -Bellesa Boutique
Best Prostate Massager
This toy includes 10 vibrations and is completely waterproof, so you can experiment slowly in the tub. Featuring a convenient finger loop, the product gives "beginners and experts alike the opportunity to explore new sensations whether solo or with a partner."
Pros: 3 vibration speeds and 7 vibration patterns; waterproof; free of latex and phthalates; remote-controlled
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "This little thing is really great. It’s perfectly shaped, it wiggles, and it vibrates! What more can you ask for?" -Lovehoney
Best Customizable Anal Trainer Set
True to form, this silicone set is accessible, washable, and "makes it easy to work your way up." Reviewers love the number of toys that come in this set, saying that it allows them to gradually work they way up to girthier toys at their own pace.
Pros: easy to clean; intended for beginners; five toys for the price of one
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "These make AWESOME anal sex easy! I now prefer anal over vaginal sex! Amazing!" -Bellesa Boutique
Best Instructional Beginner Anal Kit
We love safe sex and educated decision-making, which makes this the set of our dreams! Not only does it come with multiple anal toys and lubricants, but it also features a "Guide to Anal Massage & Pleasure."
Pros: made for beginners; educational; non-intimidating; comes with a lot of products
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Best buy ever. Perfect for the beginner in all of us. Good weight, soft and pliable to use. Great instruction and information booklet." -Lovehoney
Not sure what an anal plug is or what it can do for you? Vanessa Smith has got you covered: "Anal plugs come in all sorts of styles and materials," she explains. "Vibrating anal plugs can help relax the sphincter muscles and stimulate the g-spot or p-spot," which, she points out, makes the toy perfect for beginners.
Best Glass Anal Plug
Looking for a feminine touch? This 4-inch plug boasts a beautiful rose shape that one customer calls "a classy look."
Pros: great for temperature play; pretty; compatible with all lubes
Cons: may not be long enough to suit users who like deep penetration; fragile (made of glass)
Customer Review: "The shape and design is perfect and quite comfortable. Obviously the glass is perfectly smooth and 100% the way to go. The rosebud itself is visually stunning! It makes me feel super feminine and my boyfriend also likes that it’s easy to hold on to. We both really like it! It’s hot! You should get one." -Bellesa Boutique
Best Steel Anal Plug
This stainless steel toy looks a little intimidating at first, but never fear: Multiple reviews assure that it is small-to-medium sized, which makes it great for anal-intermediates.
Pros: great for temperature play; long-lasting; great for all experience levels; free of latex and phthalates; easy to clean; compatible with all lubes
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "First, it’s gorgeous to look at. The design of the head, the handle, the shaft and stainless steel are very attractive. And very easy to clean. Second, with lube, it’s very easy to insert. I pretty much unboxed it, cleaned it, lubed it up and inserted it. The birth of the head hurt a little, so I backed off, let the ache go away and tried a second time. It went in with no problem...Third, I love the fullness and the weight this plug brings...The handle fits nicely between my cheeks and the plug stays in place nicely." -Lovehoney
Best Decorative Anal Plug
One bubbly buyer referred to this toy as a "bootylicious" option that works for solo stimulation, partner play, and even as a wearable toy.
Pros: fun; great for all experience levels; great for partner play; twelve different vibration settings
Cons: may not be long enough to suit users who like deep penetration; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Don’t let this toy fool you! The toy is totally washable and it was so much fun surprising my partner with a fun Bun-Bum! Love it and will recommend to anyone wanting to spice it up or just wanting to add to their collection!" -Lovehoney
Best Anal Pump
If you'd like to try an anal pump but want to take your time, this product may be your best bet. One customer advised that it took a few pumps for them to "feel anything," which assures wary buyers that this toy allows users to take pleasure into their own hands.
Pros: great for beginners; great for partner play; great for all experience levels
Cons: some users find it difficult to clean; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I was looking for a toy that I could use to help me train to use larger plugs, and this was the perfect solution. It is very easy to use and not too intimidating. The initial feeling of it is rather neutral, but as soon I pumped the size increase was very noticeable. The control over the size of the balloon is great as it allows a steady increase that helps you be able to expand bit by bit." -Lovehoney
Not only are vibrators all-around fan favorites in the world of sex toys, but they're also great for those who are just getting started with anal. "Vibrating anal plugs are especially great for beginners," says Vanessa Smith, "because the vibrations help relax the muscles while providing extra pleasure to the sensitive nerves in and around the anus."
Best Vibrating Anal Plug
This toy is recommended by reviewers as an ideal first anal toy. One person in particular gave the item a 5/5 star review, and still said, "if I could give more stars I would."
Pros: great for beginners; easy to clean
Cons: some users find it too girthy; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I must say, I was pretty shy when it came to anal stimulation. But it is a really good beginner's toy. The feel is soft and the vibration is smooth. Would recommend." -Bellesa Boutique
Best Slim Prostate Massager
This vibrator has a host of devoted fans, who call the toy their "new best friend" and "best buddy," and even recommend using the toy on a partner.
Pros: great for partner play; great for all experience levels
Cons: some advanced users may prefer a girthier toy; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I am new to finding my prostate and I have not been lucky with all the items I have tried but this black beauty got the job done.plus I love that it vibrates different speeds and it is slim so I don't feel uncomfortable during or after putting something in my butt." -PinkCherry
Best App-Controlled Anal Plug
This toy is ideal for both beginners and experienced users and, in the words of one thorough customer, it "allows you to take your pleasure into your own hands with the intuitive app and adjustable curved head."
Pros: great for all experience levels; mobile app allows for easier play
Cons: not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "A wondeful toy. Incredible quality and feels amazing in your hands and inside. Can even be used on a female too. The vibration patterns are really good. Strong and a nice variety of vibrations. Getting it in is no issue, lovely and smooth, just remember to lube up a lot."
Best Beaded Vibrating Anal Sex Toy
This highly original toy produces bubbly, pop-like sensations that reviewers say ease tension and produce a pleasurably full feeling in the wearer.
Pros: unique sensation; waterproof; great for beginners; 7 vibration settings
Cons: short battery life; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Anal beads and a plug vibrator—they thought of it all! The 'bubbles' definitely give a pleasurable sensation. The space between each bubble will create a popping feel with each bubble that enters or exists. The vibration gives a nice ease and relaxes any tension. Shower friendly—a plus!" -Babeland
What makes anal beads ideal for beginners and those in search of gradual anal stimulation? Great question! "Anal beads start very small at the insertion point and grow slightly larger and larger as you get closer to the end," answers Smith. This way, you or your partner can work your way up, bead by bead, and stop with ease if the pressure becomes overwhelming.
Best Beaded Anal Dildo
Straightforward and easy to use, customers confirm that this beaded anal dildo is most ideal for anal experts who are accustomed to penetrative rectal stimulation.
Pros: easy to clean; easy to use; suction cup base makes it possible to ride it; free of latex and phthalates; submersible
Cons: girthy, so may be more ideal for experienced users; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "Well-designed, soft and most importantly, for hands-free play: the suction cup at the bottom of this "tower of pleasure" stays firmly affixed to bath tub tile. The graduated size increase is well-planned." -Lovehoney
Best Anal Beads Set
Reviewers say that this set of beads is perfect for beginners (so long as users start slow and use plenty of lube), but that they're also ideal for users with all levels of experience.
Pros: great for beginners; loops at the end for easy use; durable
Cons: ridged beads may be more time-consuming to clean; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I was skeptical at first, but the string of beads is actually pretty long and the balls immediately had a powerful effect on me. But I’m very surprised in a good way. It was a hot experience and that was definitely not the only one." -Satisfyer
Best Bejeweled Anal Beads
This set of beads is ideal for beginners, because it is on the smaller side and its beads start small at the tip before gradually increasing in size. The jewel at the end of it is also designed to "make playtime fun" and, it appears, a little more glam than usual.
Pros: great for beginners; fun design
Cons: small, so suited for beginners more so than advanced users; not compatible with silicone lube
Customer Review: "This little booty blinger might be small but it really does feel good. It's naturally limp and takes a bit of effort to get it where it is supposed to go but it does feel nice when it's in place. You can wear it out and about, it won't pop out. The jewel on the end is an added bonus!" -Amazon
Best Thin Anal Beads
Not only does this toy boast effectiveness and safety for experienced users and beginners alike, but it is also "designed to fit comfortably between your cheeks for extended wear."
Pros: suitable for all experience levels; made for comfort
Cons: beads are all the same size, and some users prefer a gradual increase in size; not compatible with silicone lube; some advanced users wish it was girthier
Customer Review: "The Casanova is a great toy for beginners. It’s smooth design delivers the feeling of release as they are pulled out during orgasm." -On Her Back
Whether you or your partner are into strap-ons, double penetration, or traditional dildos, there are a variety of toys out there that are sure to please. And remember: If you're new to anal sex, start slow! There's no need to rush into any sort of sex act, nor is there any need to engage in the act at all if it's something you're not comfortable with.
Best Strap-On Anal Dildo
This strap-on dildo is double-padded with velvet, which is not only sexy, but optimal for both you and your partner's comfort.
Pros: comfortable for both partners; suited for beginners
Cons: dildo is small (made for beginners), so users who like deeper penetration may want to substitute the included toy with a larger one
Customer Review: "The harness itself is durable and adjustable to fit any size waist. I am more top heavy than bottom heavy and I thought it would be a problem in the tummy area but NOPE! I had some access strap (material) so I kinda looped it in. The dildo is a great size for starters, but you can tell you would have to upgrade the dildo [as you work your way to larger sizes]." -Amazon
Best Triple-Stimulation Anal Dildo
If you're looking for stimulation to your G-spot, rectum, and clitoris, this is the toy for you! Described as "exhilarating," it aims to produce the elusive "trigasm" and, according to dozens of satisfied customers, succeeds.
Pros: unique sensation; soft, comfortable texture
Cons: more suited for experienced users than beginners
Customer Review: "The first time I used this with my partner, I came harder than I have in recent memory and for longer than I ever have before. It is a bit of a process getting it to sit properly but well worth the orgasms. We are relatively new to anal play so this is a super fun way for us to experiment. My partner loves this toy just as much as I do and we have played with it multiple times since purchasing. Would definitely recommend to anyone looking for something new and exciting to try." -Bellesa Boutique
Best Glass Anal Dildos
According to customers, this toys "curves in all the right places" and is exceptionally easy to clean. Plus, the set is gorgeous, and you get two toys for the price of one.
Pros: easy to clean; great for temperature play; two toys for the price of one
Cons: fragile (made of glass)
Customer Review: "I recently purchased this glass dildo set and I am extremely satisfies with its features. The dildos can be used both cold and warm, which allows for a versatile experience. Plus, the set provides a variety of sensations, given that both dildos are double ended." -Lovehoney
Best Steel Anal Dildo
I am flabbergasted by the absolute adoration emanating from this toy's reviews. It is referred to as, among other things, "a must-have," "the greatest sex toy of all time," and a product responsible for an orgasm that one reviewer "didn't think [she] was capable of."
Pros: great for all experience levels; great for temperature play; easy to clean; not compatible with silicone lube; also works for g-spot stimulation
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Wife’s favorite now. She said it just works into right spots. Gave her best orgasms ever. This was real deal!!" -Lovehoney
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
"Sex toys can enhance all sexual relationships―with yourself and with a partner, confirms Dr. Jess O'Reilly, sexologist and relationship expert at sex toy site Lovehoney. "The mere presence of a sex toy often leads to new conversations about everything from desires and fantasies to boundaries and hesitations." And, as we all know, honesty and vulnerability enhances all relationships. This is why sex games, such as sex card games, are also incredibly effective at deepening emotional and physical intimacy.
Sex toys can also bring a bit of spiciness to an otherwise bland sexual routine. If you're in a long-term relationship or if you're just looking to learn more about what makes you and your partner feel good, toys serve as an excellent (not to mention fun) teacher. "The novelty of a toy can also heighten passion, as it can offer a simple reminder to break your routine and try something new," Dr. O'Reilly agrees.
Still, whether you've never used a sex toy with a partner or just need to expand your inventory, it can be difficult to know where to begin—there are a lot of sex toys for couples out there. For that reason, we've rounded up some of the very best sex toys to bring to bed with your partner for your deepest connection yet.
Many people become nervous or even defensive when it comes time to talk with a partner about bringing toys into the bedroom, but this initial conversation (or conversations) doesn't have to be so anxiety-inducing, so long as each partner is honest, empathetic, and open to listening.
"When broaching the topic of introducing toys with your partner, it’s important to talk about what and how you are feeling," says Ashton Egner, communications manager at sex toy brand Kiiroo. "The key for any couple is communication. If you don’t talk about your sexual wants, needs, and desires your partner will never know that you want to incorporate toys into your sexual relationship."
Furthermore, it's important to be introspective about why you want to use sex toys during partner play. "Explaining why you think introducing toys into your relationship will ignite things in the bedroom will provide your partner with a better understanding of your desires."
Still nervous about bringing the topic up? Consider doing a bit of research before you put your thoughts and feelings out in the open. "Educating yourself with articles or podcasts from other people who have been through the same situation will help you go into the conversation with a background on why you may be feeling the way you do―decreasing the chances of your partner feeling negatively toward your request," Egner affirms.
So you've done your thinking, performed your research on how to use a vibrator, and had a wonderfully open conversation with your partner, which begs the question: What now?
"Once you’ve established what exactly you’re craving with your partner, the next step is to choose the type of toy that will please one or both of you," Egner suggests. "The first place to start is with something simple such as a vibrating toy, and if you like the sensation, start to look at the different types of toys available on the market today. We all have different bodies, and we all have different sensations that tease and please us. Once you are able to communicate that desire, it will be easier to start experimenting from there."

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If you have a clitoris, you're no stranger to the intense sensations that touching it can produce. It is, after all, the only human organ built first and foremost for pleasure! It's no wonder, then, why so stimulators and even penetrative toys are made with the clitoris in mind.
The most popular of these clitoris-focused toys are vibrators, but remember that not all vibrations are alike, and not all toys stimulate the clitoris in the same way! Egner encourages couples to explore what makes them feel best, both in terms of vibration type and where they like to be touched, before finally settling on a toy. "Once a couple has figured out if vibrations are something they enjoy, then they can start to explore the more premium sex toys that can be used during foreplay, or while being intimate," she says. "The possibilities are endless, however, it’s important to figure out what is best for you, your partner, and your relationship."
And, as you'll see from the options below, when it comes to types of toys, the possibilities are endless, ranging from vibrating panties to remote vibrators and everything in between.
Best Clitoral-Stimulating Sex Toy for Couples
This all-star vibrator can be secured onto your vulva so that it stimulates your clitoris without getting in the way of penetration. Win-win. One reviewer even said that it gave his wife what she called "the longest sustained orgasm of her life."
Pros: woman-owned brand; great for solo and partner play; hands-free
Cons: can be challenging to keep in place while in certain sex positions
Customer Review: "Oh YES! Love it. Sometimes you need a little touch on there to keep it in place but it’s fantastic! Highly recommend." -Dame
Best Foreplay Vibrator for Couples
This little gem comes with an optional tether and attaches to one's fingers with ease. According to reviews, it's also small and quiet enough to be carried around and used with subtlety. Press it against your partner's chest, genitals, rectum, or other erogenous zones to add a bit of spice to your finger fun.
Pros: quiet; great for all experience levels; great for multiple parts of the body
Cons: some users wish there were more than three vibration settings
Customer Review: "Comfortable to use, without getting in the way, semi-quiet so no super loud, annoying & distracting buzzing sound. Soft/smooth, glides nicely, great quality, and 3 varying speeds for just the right amount of pleasure." -Dame
Best Internal Rabbit Vibrator for Couples
Designed "to enhance the sensations of sex for couples," this innovative rabbit vibrator sits partially in the vagina, while the other half of it sits on your clitoris. This way, once the vibrations get started, both you and your partner can feel the waves.
Pros: waterproof; made for mutual pleasure; made for dual stimulation; can be used for solo masturbation; eight vibration settings; waterproof
Cons: some users say there's a learning curve to it in the beginning
Customer Review: "Big fan of this device. The product description is correct when it says your partner can be inside you while the device is inside you too, which heightened our pleasure. I also recommend using it during anal." -LELO
Best Vibrating Panty for Couples
Get subtly sexy with this wearable vibrator, which comes complete with a pair of lace panties designed for the device to fit right in. Dr. O'Reilly fully endorses the use of such toys, encouraging couples to "consider using a wearable toy to tease your partner throughout the day by sending small vibrations – a playful preview of what’s to come."
Pros: expert-approved; subtle; great for adding sexual variety; discreet; three vibration speeds and 10 patterns
Cons: vibrations not strong enough for some users
Customer Review: "The vibrator is entirely waterproof and fully rechargeable via a simple A/C adapter. The toy has a silky smooth silicone exterior with a matte finish. The controls are intuitive and easy to use, to deliver moderately strong, buzzy vibrations throughout the toy. Despite it’s strong motor, it’s surpassingly quiet, and would be a great toy for a gal living at home or in a dorm. Although the vibrations weren’t powerful enough for me, they would be wonderful for anyone who’s new to toys or prefers a lighter to moderate, buzzy vibration." -Slutty Girl Problems
Sex toy articles tend to focus on vibrators and clitoral stimulation, but there are toys that stimulate penises, too! Many provide simultaneous stimulation to the clitoris, but, even if you're not a penis-owner, it can be just as much fun to watch your partner have a good time as it is to have a good time yourself.
Best Strokers for Couples
The soft plastic rings in this set are meant to enhance stimulation to the penis, and are great for people who want to give some love to the base of the penis without opting for deep penetration. Users recommend using a water-based lubricant with these toys for hours of "slippery fun."
Pros: made for mutual pleasure; can make penetration more comfortable
Cons: contains latex, so unsuitable for those with latex allergies
Customer Review: "Texture is softer and more pleasant than expected. Colors are as seen in photo. Reversible for more or less sensation. Wife had as much or more fun than myself." -Lovehoney
Best Cock Ring for Couples
This ring, small enough for beginners, fastens to the base of the penis and has an extension that stimulates the clitoris so that when it vibrates, both partners reap the benefits. Dr. O'Reilly recommends cock rings as a great option for couples that are just beginning to explore the world of sex toys. Such rings, she says, are "inexpensive and available at most drugstores. These can be used while having intercourse—regardless of the genders involved."
Pros: expert-approved; made for mutual pleasure; 20 customizable vibration functions
Cons: made of silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "It's the best vibrator I (male) had, among more than a dozen different brands and styles. The power and vibrations are great, I mean super on point. Most other vibrators have patterns that suddenly get too fast or seem all over the place, or some have patterns that are dull, but this one is a gem. A huge bonus is also it's noise level, some vibrators, even the bullet ones, make a lot of noise with much less power. This one makes noise exactly as you would expect and never gets loud." -Lovehoney
Best Music-Activated Sex Toy for Couples
Dr. O’Reilly highly recommends this music-activated toy. She says, "Music (and sound in general) has the capacity to significantly affect mood. The contagion hypothesis suggests that we mimic what we hear in our environment, so when you listen to music that evokes a sense of relaxation, adventure or closeness, it follows that you might feel more of the same."
Pros: sensory experience; expert-approved; submersible; easy to clean
Cons: relatively short battery life (40 minutes)
Customer Review: "I think I am quite open minded and knowledgeable on sex toys that are on the market but never knew something like this existed...This bullet, sits inside a very flexible ring that feels comfortable and not like it could do damage if left on for a while. As it’s closer to the shaft and you can actually feel it, it gives the male more pleasure than most on the market. What makes this one stand out is the accompanying remote control. Yes I know, quite a few come with remote controls for you to chose settings etc, but this one - you switch it on, make sure it’s paired and place it next to your music and let it work wonders on you." -Lovehoney
Best Sex Toy Set for Long-Distance Couples
Did you know that bestselling sex toy brand We-Vibe sells sets that are specially made for long-distance couples. In addition to this set, which comes with a toy for a penis and one for a clitoris, they also have clitoris-clitoris and penis-penis sets. And, of course, all of their toys can be controlled via mobile app, so you can participate in your partner's pleasure no matter where you are.
Pros: can be controlled via mobile app; made with long distance couples in mind; two toys for the price of one; over 10 vibration intensity levels; comfortable
Cons: some users find the vibrations loud
Customer Review: "The size is perfect, and it comes with a little magnet to keep it in place. I had a hard time pressing the button while using it, but then I just used the app to control it and problem solved! It’s super quiet, so you can wear it anytime/anywhere which is my favorite!" -We-Vibe
Strap-ons can be used in a myriad of situations, but are especially popular among queer women as well as men who enjoy anal stimulation (many men, of all sexual orientations, do!). And we have good news: If you have a vagina and are interested in a strap-on option that pleases both you and your partner simultaneously, there are a number of products out there for you and your person to explore to your heart's content.
Best Lightweight Strap-On for Couples
For those who want to keep it simple, opt for this sleek, basic product, which comes in both black and matte purple. One enthusiastic reviewer said this was her favorite strap-on, that it was easy to use, and that she even bought a second one so she could keep it at her partner's house!
Pros: easy to use; easy to clean; lightweight; only one piece; comes in two different sizes; safe for p-spot and g-spot stimulation
Cons: made from silicone, so cannot be paired with silicone lube
Customer Review: "I honestly don't know why this strap-on doesn't have more reviews. It's been the best strap-on I've ever used. It's so easy to pull off and on—no complex harnesses. The dildo is the perfect size and feels good. I even bought one to keep at my partner's house. We both love it!" -Babeland
Best Lingerie Strap-On for Couples
If you're not into the S&M look of most strap-on harnesses, opt for a delicate, lacy lingerie option like this one from Lovehoney, which one very satisfied customer said "felt like lingerie but naughtier."
Pros: aesthetically appealing; easy to use; subtle; soft, stretchy fabric; crotchless
Cons: dildo/vibrator not included
Customer Review: "In an effort to please my man, I have purchased several different strap-ons. These are the most comfortable, versatile and sexy option we have tried. We can do anything and everything in these comfortably. Absolutely LOVE these!!!" -Lovehoney
Best Strap On For Double Penetration
Many people enjoy the intensity of double penetration―including one ecstatic reviewer, who calls this toy the "magical orgasm wish giver"―and this product provides just that and more with both its hardware and its vibration settings.
Pros: free of latex and phthalates; highly rated; flexible; water-submersible
Cons: made of silicone, so not suited for use with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "As we both enjoy anal play we thought this would be worth a try so that it would be more pleasurable as you get two for one! It’s comfortable to wear and easy to use, just add a bit of lube and away you go. Can be a bit fiddly for the first use but you then get the hang of it and unlocks levels of pleasure you didn’t know there was!" -Lovehoney
Best Strap On For Mutual Penetration
This toy does everything: Traditional strap-on capability, g-spot stimulation, and clitoral stimulation all at once, and that "hits all the right spots" for both partners, based on reviews.
Pros: waterproof; 15 vibration modes; has a travel lock; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: some users say it's difficult to manipulate the clitoral head
Customer Review: "I initially tried this on myself. It’s really REALLY good and one end can be held securely like a handle type. Tried both with vibrations and without and both were fantastic. When using with my partner it took a bit of working out to get the angle right so it stayed in the ‘giver’ but it’s easily and quickly done. Every body is a different shape so it’s great that it’s easy for us to switch it when we want want to." -Lovehoney
In a long-distance relationship, or just looking for more sexy reminders of your partner when you two are apart? "Using remote-controlled sex toys is a great opportunity to explore eroticism throughout the day, regardless of your location," says Dr. O'Reilly. "They offer novel sensations and inspire playfulness which in turn creates stronger relationships because it improves openness and exploration."
If you're new to remote-controlled toys, O'Reilly suggests exploring control dynamics. "Especially for those accustomed to routine, remote-controlled sex toys are a great opportunity to experiment with new roles...Take turns teasing each other and exploring new levels of anticipation." She also suggests getting creative with time. "Remote-controlled toys really allow you to play with the building anticipation and prolong your partnered experience."
Best Remote-Controlled Cock Ring for Couples
Use this ring during sex like a traditional cock ring, or incorporate it into foreplay to drive your partner crazy before the main event. Dr. O'Reilly suggests that, with toys like this, partners "play with intensity settings, starting off slow and building to a climax. You may also want to tease by depriving them of vibes as you edge them to heightened pleasure."
Pros: three vibration speeds and seven functions; expert-approved; hands-free; made for mutual pleasure; free of latex and phthalates; submersible
Cons: relatively short battery life (one hour)
Customer Review: "I prefer toys me and my husband can use together. This is amazing. It not only is rechargeable which is phenomenal. It can also be used as a constriction ring with a bullet or a bullet alone. So my husband can play with me and then we can play together. We both very much enjoyed it." -Lovehoney
Best Warming Sex Toy for Couples
According to reviewers, this love egg is great for those who like moderate penetration, but prefer clitoral action. With a relatively short insertable length, the egg comfortably sits in the vaginal canal without reaching all the way in the way that many dildos and g-spot vibrators do.
Pros: waterproof; nine vibration modes; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: relatively short charge life (60 minutes)
Customer Review: "I love love love this! It just got delivered today and I just had a sneaky little me session, and I have never felt such an intense orgasm ever!! It’s standard for the to have three to six orgasms in one session, but holy God my whole body was literally shaking from this!!" -Lovehoney
Best P-Spot Vibrator for Couples
Think: Remote g-spot stimulator, but for your rectum. Reviewers consistently laud this toy for the intense pleasure and ease of use that it offers to those who are just beginning to explore anal stimulation.
Pros: great for users of all experience levels; gender-inclusive; great for long-distance play
Cons: occasional connectivity/app issues; made of silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "This product is fun for both partners being both the wearer and the controller. Especially exciting when used in public. Design is easy to insert and comfortable to wear for longer periods of time. Recommend using a good long lasting lube such as Sliquid Silk when inserting. The device is less filling that others but makes up for that in vibrating power. Vibrating power and different patterns are amazing." -We-Vibe
Best G-Spot Vibrator for Couples
Let your partner control the vibrations of this G-spot massager using an app of their phone for an easy, interactive long-distance sex session. Scores of reviewers laud this toy for its subtlety, saying that it can be worn and used "whenever and wherever," and while I can't condone masturbating at work, I can endorse this fun addition to any couple's sexual repertoire.
Pros: two-year warranty; waterproof; two-hour battery life; 10 vibration modes; quiet vibrations; easy to use
Cons: occasional connectivity/app issues; made of silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube
Customer Review: "My wife's favorite toy. Great level of vibration with a good variety of patterns. Great to use internally or on the clitoris. Has just the right level of vibration to be very orgasmic. Easy to charge." -We-Vibe
There are countless people who can attest to the joys of sexual stimulation to the nipples, and this anecdotal evidence has been validated in a number of studies. In a particular 2011 piece by researchers at Rutgers University, researchers found that, in a sexual context, nipple stimulation sends sensory signals to the same part of the brain that processes stimulation to the clitoris, vagina, and cervix.
If you already love the feeling of your partner touching your nipples (or vice versa), check out some of these nipple-focused toys that can bring your exploration to the next level.
Best Nipple Sucking Sex Toys for Couples
These nipple suckers are great for beginners, and have a fun added twist: They change from purple to bright pink as things heat up, and reviewers assure us that they fit on comfortably while providing just enough suction to remain firmly in place.
Pros: affordable; color-changing; free of latex and phthalates
Cons: suction strength may be quite strong for beginners
Customer Review: "I absolutely love this, have always been a big fan of nipple play! These are sensational and gentle which is perfect if you are not looking for too much. I love the fact they change color—also just a cute little perk." -Lovehoney
Best Sex Toy for Couples for Temperature-Play
If you're looking to play with different temperatures and physical sensations, check out this hydrating, stimulating lip balm made from natural ingredients. It's 100 percent body safe, so it can be used to enhance stimulation to the nipples, genitals, and any other body part (including lips!) explored during foreplay. Reviewers also love it for its lip-plumping qualities and enjoy wearing it in and outside the bedroom.
Pros: easy to apply; hydrating; body-safe
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "Absolutely love this! Definitely worth it in & out of the bedroom. Love the way it plumps & moisturizes my lips & my boyfriend loves it too!!" -Amazon
Best Nipple Pump for Couples
This looks a bit like a pump for breastfeeding, but do not be deceived! The toy has seven different settings that can be used during foreplay to heighten sensitivity, or during sex to intensify the moment. According to users, the product provides a great deal of suction, so be sure you're ready!
Pros: splash-proof; free of latex and phthalates; seven different modes
Cons: silicone, so not compatible with silicone-based lube; loud
Customer Review: "WHOA! This totally took me to a whole other level of solo play! My nipples were nice and sensitive and ready for anything. This is NOT for beginners and it gets intense but I was so hooked that I wound up using it 3 times the night I got it. I only stopped to give my nipples a rest (plus I exhausted myself lol). My only complaint is that it's noisy, but its a trade off for what it does. Don't pay attention to the negative reviews—I am particular and this is a WINNER! Worth every penny!!" -Lovehoney
Best Nipple Clamps for Couples
According to reviews, these nipple clamps have just the right amount of give so that they can stay on without causing the wearer pain, and the optional vibrations provide the best added titillation (see what I did there?).
Pros: waterproof; easy to use; customizable pressure; latex-free; also safe to use on the clitoris, perineum, frenelum, and other erogenous zones
Cons: some users wish there were more vibration settings
Customer Review: "My previous partner was not into nipple play, so when my new partner asked me to stimulate her nipples, it was new to me. So, doing the research, these looked as if they would provide stimulation for longer and more intensely than I could. And so it proved to be: The intensity and length of her orgasms with these on and a suction vibrator on her clit is awesome to behold. Far more effective than the non vibrating slider style clamps we also bought to try out." -Lovehoney
If you want to get a little kinky or think outside the box with a partner, you're not alone! And Dr. O'Reilly stresses the importance of divulging your fantasies to a partner, especially if your relationship with that person is also emotionally intimate. "These vulnerable conversations have the potential to deepen intimacy and connection," she tells us. As long as there's consent all around, there's nothing wrong with trying something new or spicing up your relationship!
Best Beginner Bondage Set for Couples
If you're looking to try out some light bondage but aren't looking to risk physical discomfort, consider this soft, stretch-to-fit satin blindfold and restraints set in "very sensual and sexy" maroon.
Pros: three items for the price of one; soft; great for beginners; comfortable; easy to use
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "I'm very impressed with the Enchanted Starter Kit. Great color; very sensual and sexy." -Babeland
Best Fingering Sex Toy for Couples
Make finger stimulation a little more interesting with these ribbed, textured toys. Dr. O'Reilly recommends using bare fingers as a starting point for all partner-on-partner stimulation in order to "determine where and what type of stimulation you and your partner might like," and progressing from naked fingers to toy-enclosed ones can be an excellent progression for those who enjoy ribbed and/or firm means of stimulation.
Pros: great for beginners; inclusive of all sexualities and anatomies; two toys for the price of one; free of phthalates; submersible; can be used on a number of different body parts; flexible
Cons: some users say they are too big for slender fingers
Customer Review: "I purchased these because I have extra long nails so when I am giving finger play it can sometimes feel uncomfortable & sharp. These rubber sleeves fit over my nails & reduce discomfort. You can also place these over mini silver bullets for extra fun." -Lovehoney
Best Sex Pillow for Couples
This firm, comfortable pillow is designed to support you when you and your partner need to adjust the angle for things to hit just right. It's also inconspicuous enough to blend into your bedroom decor when playtime's over. Described by customers as both firm and durable, this pillow is ready to weather all of your sexual adventures.
Pros: subtle; easy to use; can be used in many different ways; durable; soft fabric
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "The Pillo offers a little bit of lift, great for both you and your partner when going down! Definitely enjoyed!" -Dame
Best Bondage Rope for Couples
This unique bondage rope comes in fun colors so that it's as non-intimidating as possible, and the package even includes an instruction manual on how to tie comfortable, safe knots. One reviewer attests that the ropes feel great on skin, too, so you don't need to worry about chafing, scratching, or pulling. Just sit (or lay) back, relax, and have a great time.
Pros: soft; easy to use; long; versatile; easy to tie and untie; hypo-allergenic; comes with a knot-tying instruction manual
Cons: none found
Customer Review: "I'm stoked to have this be my first bondage rope. The colors are stunning and so expressive. The material is soft, yet super strong, and it's a great length so you have endless possibilities!" -Emojibator
For more, visit our Sexual Wellness section, where we unpack topics around consent, kink, sex toys, and more so you can have your safest and very best sexperiences yet.
Cheap dates (that don't feel cheap) aren't just for people in those early stages of relationships. Long-term couples still need a steady supply of good date night options, especially if they're sticking to a budget or just not into fancy schmancy expensive dinners. To help out literally anyone looking to have a fun date night on a budget, we've put together the ultimate guide to dating that's actually affordable. Plenty of these date ideas don't require more than $20, but most of these won't cost you a penny. From creative second-date options to outdoorsy adventures that only require a little bit of spare cash and the right attitude, these are the best inexpensive date ideas.
Food trucks are a great way to have amazing food on the cheap and explore your city or walk around a new neighborhood. Win. Win. Win.
Wake up early and hit the neighborhood garage sales. Give yourselves a small budget (say, $10 each) and see who can haggle their way to the most treasures by the end of the day.
Pick a book you've both been dying to read and set a time to sit down with a glass (or three) of wine and discuss your ~thoughts~.
The couple that gets zen together, stays together—or at least avoid the kinds of drama and fights that make staying together much more difficult. If you're stuck indoors with your S.O., take the opportunity to cultivate a meditation practice together.
Even if you can't adopt a pet, you can still bring a little joy (and some sweet ear scratches and belly rubs) to an animal in need by visiting your local animal shelter.
You and your S.O. already fit together like matching puzzle pieces, right? Why not get inspired by that cutesy metaphor and do an actual jigsaw puzzle together?
You already spent plenty of your parents' hard-earned money on these hardbound keepsakes and, once enough time has passed, they're actually really funny and adorable to reminisce over. Meet up with your most funny/embarrassing/brag-worthy yearbooks and take a trip down memory lane together.
Get your Mary Poppins on and make the most of a beautiful day by flying kites in a local park.
Embrace your inner kid and build a blanket (and/or pillow) fort inside for a cozy, low-key date night.
Whether you go for a traditional outdoor picnic or put down a blanket inside (or on your balcony or roof, if you have access), a picnic is a great way to shake things up on the cheap.
While certain museums have steep ticket prices, many hold free or discounted days or hours during weekdays so you can get cultured on a budget.
Sometimes there’s simply too much good TV to stay up-to-date during the week. Instead, pitch a binge-watch day, where you and your boo dress cozy, make snacks, and finish all the episodes in one go. You really need to catch up on Succession anyway.
You never know when you'll find your next one-of-a-kind furniture piece, so spend a few hours perusing a dedicated antiques mart or thrift store. There's a good chance you'll find some kooky clothing options there too.
Relocate your date to the nearest ferry if you want a change of scenery. Aim for an unexplored area for a longer day trip, or try a short round-trip ride for a first date where you're still—literally and figuratively—testing the waters.
Without having to spend a penny, walk around and check out the pretty window designs of local stores. For the S.O. who hates shopping, the activity will be the walk and conversation while you ogle the storefronts.
Want to relax, but don't have a pool/the weather's not cooperating? Opt for this luxurious version—whether it's accessing a local facility for a couple hours or going somewhere a bit more out of the way if it's cheaper.
There may be free courses and classes available locally, or if not, see if you can find something online. This offers a fun way to be together and expand your mind—from learning to play a musical instrument to watching a cool motivational speaker.
Some of the most fun and experimental stuff is available at pop-ups. Whether the owner's just starting out or testing the market for a new type of food/drink/item, these "here today, gone tomorrow" mobile stores are often inexpensive. Either way, it's a fun-filled experience seeing what's out there.
You don't have to go to Paris to grab a fabulous photo op. Whether it's going to a roof deck or observation tower, or even heading out of your area to look at the skyline, go out of your way to see things from a new perspective.
Paint and sip bars are a fun experience, but they can sometimes get pricey and you don't always have control over what you make. So recreate something similar at home, whether it's a fun DIY project you guys have been thinking about, to buying a brush and a small palette to make something for the wall.
We're always so busy running around that it can be fun to take a leisurely mode of transportation to nowhere in particular. Sightsee on the cheap, head to a new place, or just sit and snuggle while you let you mind wander.
Love picnicking? Go exploring for a new perfect spot. Enjoy grabbing coffee together? Try a just-opened cafe. The vibe might be new, but the activity has all the fun memories and shared experiences you need. Plus, you just might find a new favorite spot.
Granted, not every library sports the spectacular views like this one in New York, but it's a totally fun (and underrated) place to go. Listen to a local speaker or take a class! Participate in a book club or group reading! You know, borrow a book or movie! You'll find stuff to do, promise—especially if the library is connected to a school or university.
Whether indoor or outdoor, playing paintball with friends, strangers, or just the two of you can be a fun, enjoyably messy activity—especially if you're both competitive. Check out local offerings, which can be as low as $10-30 if you bring your own paint. Just, you know, go easy on the loser!
Is there somewhere you'd like to go? Some milestone you want to achieve together? Or, if the relationship is new, share what you both want to get out of this year and offer support for each other's hopes and dreams.
Recreate your own spa experience by drawing a bubble bath, lighting a few candles, and throwing in a soothing massage. Bonus points if you can get your partner to put on a face mask.
If your relationship is at a point where you're exchanging L-bombs, lean into the romance vibes and write each other heartfelt love letters. And if it's not, write each other heartfelt like letters, even if it just means explaining what caught your eye in their Tinder profile.
Head to the stands to cheer on your favorite team and devour some hot dogs.
For an awesome time at an arcade, all you need are some quarters. Make things more interesting by betting a drink on the person who can win the most prizes.
Drop a dollar on a lottery ticket and spend the evening imagining what you'll do with your winnings. You can plan dream vacations, describe your ideal mansions, or take a turn for the real and open up about the student loan debt you still need to get out from under—whatever feels right.
Karaoke is a guaranteed fun night, even if you can't hold a note to save your life. Stick to duets like 03 Bonnie and Clyde and What's My Name? for a great time.
Set up a tent in the backyard, roast some marshmallows, tell spooky stories by a campfire—you got a romantic, at-home camping experience. Or live the #vanlife by decking out your backseat as a cozy, indoor-outdoor hang. Either way, it’s the thrill of the outdoors without leaving home, minus the bug bites.
S.O. with a heart of gold? Find a local charity, like a soup kitchen or a pet shelter, and volunteer for the day. Studies say that acts of generosity increase well-being and happiness, and couldn't we all use some more of that?
When's the last time you actually put your phone down and looked up? Grab a blanket and try to find your favorite constellations. If you need some guidance, you can download apps like Star Tracker.
Most local brewery or winery tours are free, and you'll leave with knowledge you can impress your friends with—and you'll get some free sips of booze, obviously.
Spend an afternoon sharing your talents and hobbies. You can demonstrate your musical chops by giving your date a guitar lesson while they show you how to throw a free-throw. Or vice versa.
Find a poetry reading, or performances of works by a specific writer, by searching local book readings.
Yes, the shoes are disgusting, but you'll have a great time and a little friendly competition never hurts.
Test your sense of adventure by renting a kayak, canoe, or paddle boat at a local lake or beach. Rentals should be around $20, and you'll definitely get a good 'gram.
Two words: cotton candy. If there's a carnival in town, bring your date for a few rides on the Ferris wheel.
Learning about the books that made someone who they are can be a great way to get to know each other’s likes and dislikes. Heading to a bookstore and browsing the pages is totally free, and a little more active than just a coffee shop. Plus, maybe they also had a childhood Harry Potter obsession so you can feel OK coming clean about yours.
Go on a cookie or chocolate factory tour together to solely pay attention to the free samples.
Take a moment to decompress by grabbing a bottle (or two) of wine and snacks for a cozy night in.
There’s nothing more wholesome than an ice cream date. Get a cone, pick some toppings, and go for a stroll around a park for just about the cutest date idea in the world. Also? Ice cream!
All you need for this date is a tank of gas and a companion.
Switch up your weekend routine and head to a dive bar for a few rounds of darts and cheap drinks. Okay, and also some Fireball shots.
Old, black-and-white foreign films are romantic, and usually the tickets are slightly reduced for art-house flicks. There also might be a movie being shown in a park if the weather's good enough.
Is there anything that says fall romance quite like apple/berry/whatever's in season picking together? We didn't think so.
Outdoorsy types can get their workout in with a morning hike on the nearest wilderness trails. Endorphins + scenic views = a good time.
When you just want some light-hearted entertainment, scoop up tickets for a comedy club amateur night or improv show. You can't guarantee that the jokes will always be on point, but when tickets are only $5, you're not risking much.
Don't want to blow your food budget on eating out? Pick a recipe and team up on the chopping, sprinkling, and stirring.
Even if you don't make it right to the front and center of the pit area, you can still sit on the grass and stargaze. Pack a blanket and enjoy the good music.
Pretend that you're both PGA champs on a putt putt course and see who can come closest to par. Loser buys dinner.
If you and your date are both of the activist persuasion, spend time together and make a difference by volunteering to get out the vote, get signatures for a candidate you like, or attend an event for a cause you care about. Sharing passions is a great way to build intimacy.
Local galleries tend to have public events for acquiring new works, as well as free nights on weekdays. You'll get to mingle with interesting, like-minded people while also scoring some free wine. #Cultured.
A friendly date night at home with board games (or a group date—the more the merrier!) are perfect if you're feeling lazy. Order in pizza and let the games begin.
For a feast on a budget, organize a potluck dinner as a double or triple date. It's a win-win-win for everyone.
Local parks and public gardens often offer volunteer hours in the Spring and Fall where you and your date can get your hands dirty while giving back to the community. Plus, it’ll be amazing to come back a few months later to see that your seeds have fully bloomed—just like your relationship.
Get your palms or tarot cards read by a psychic. You'll both probably find some predictions you'll laugh about.
If tandem bikes aren't really your cup of tea, rent or ride your own bikes for a leisurely lap around a park or over a nature trail. It can be as little as $20 for the whole day.
Let the thrill of a rock climbing wall help kick up your endorphins. Plus, you can practice your teamwork getting to the top together.
Recreate the days of your youth (or a fun '80s movie) by taking a few laps around a roller skating rink. If you don't have the greatest coordination, expect a few bruises and falls, but that won't make the skating any less fun. Hand-holding is likely.
The smell of cookies or a cake wafting through the air, the treat you get afterwards—baking is its own reward, and a wonderful opportunity to spend some time together without breaking the bank. No judgment if you just go the route of frozen cookie dough—less work, still delicious.
Sign up together for trivia night at a local bar to see how well you can recall random facts. Winners usually leave with a cash prize, meaning that you could share a winner's pot (or save it for your next date night).
Play tourists for the day and check out where the masses armed with cameras (and selfie sticks) are heading.
Chess is a great indoor activity that you probably already know the rules to but that you can become really good at by checking out some masterful tips on YouTube. Get sophisticated with your date by playing a game, and maybe even learning some badass moves. It’s a real queen’s gambit of a date move.
Gain some new moves by having a living room dance class. YouTube the steps you’ve always wanted to learn—be it a tango, a TikTok trend, or a Texas two-step—and spend some time learning it together. You can learn a new skill, break a little sweat, and have something to laugh about when you inevitably start out a little clumsy.
The best thing about breakfast is you can make it super fancy on a small budget. Crafting a yummy brunch at home lets you show off your culinary skills, avoid long restaurant lines, and stay in your PJs. Plus, no additional charge for adding in the endless mimosas.
Why fight the after-work masses when you can mix up a pitcher of your favorite mixed drink, bust out the fancy glasses, and have a chill outdoor happy hour on your patio or in the backyard? It’s a way to wind-down the day and get to know each other without having to worry about who’s getting the tab at the end of the night.
Grab some coffees, pick a neighborhood that means something to you, and take your date around to the best shops, hang-out spots, and park benches that you love. It’s more active than just a sit-down date, but still allows for plenty of talking and walking time. Plus, ample opportunities for casual hand-holding.
Teamwork makes the dream work. If you've been meaning to revamp your space, why not make it into a project with your significant other? An extra set of hands means you will get the job done quicker, plus that's extra time spent with your honey.
A yoga class is always more fun (and way less awkward) when you know someone also attending. Either check out a yoga class together (plenty of parks and rec centers offer or affordable classes) or try a couple-specific yoga session. Those fun couples' poses could be an interesting way to get your body moving.
There's nothing like a little friendly competition to get the sparks flying. Dust off your piggy bank for some quarters, head to your local dive bar, and get to shooting pool. Make it a little more exciting and have the loser of the game buy the next round of drinks. You can even play dumb and act like you don't know how to hold the pool cue (*wink, wink*).
While we don't necessarily recommend buying a house together straight away, we do recommend checking out a local open house as a fun, free date idea. Check out listings in your area, find one that excited you both, then act as prospective buyers. We're sure this date will illicit some important convos about your future, too.
Wake up early on Saturday or Sunday, grab a coffee, and head to your local farmers' market. You don't actually have to buy anything, but if you do, take comfort in knowing that the prices at the farmers' market are typically less than at the grocery store. And you're supporting small businesses!
If you live in a bigger city, there's a good chance you can find a guided walking tour, either for free or pay-what-you-wish (just make sure you bring some cash or your tour guide). It's a great way to get our of your neighborhood and learn more about your hometown from someone who is enthusiastic about it. Plus, you can scout out even more date spots.
Weather permitting, a cozy bonfire is a great (free!) way to spend time with your significant other. A roaring fire under the stars with a few blankets is the perfect excuse to snuggle up to one another. If you really want to impress, grab a few provisions for s'mores and hot chocolate.
Pull a Leslie Knope and put together a scavenger hunt for your significant other. You can place clues in significant locations to your relationship, like where you two met or your first date spot, and test their memory. This one may take a bit of additional planning, but it's a thoughtful date we guarantee your loved one won't forget any time soon.
Hear me out—this isn't a great date for everyone, but if you love to be active, a run could be a fun, free way to spend more time together. Take your partner on your favorite running route or have them show you theirs. It might be nice to know a little more about your partner's daily routine.
If your partner loves to game, ask to join them in their next session. We promise you don't have to actually be good at video games to enjoy playing them with your beau. For the ultimate co-op experience, we recommend playing It Takes Two, available on all major gaming consoles. Just don't blame us if your teamwork isn't as great as you thought.
Plenty of zoos have free entry or days when admission is discounted or free. Head to your local zoo for a date surrounded by furry creatures. You'll definitely get your steps in and you may even learn a thing or two about your favorite animals.
When in doubt, check Groupon out. The site has everything from bowling and mini golfing to sky diving and pottery classes all offered at steep discounts. You can even use Groupon for discounts at fancy restaurants and bars. Definitely peruse the site before you shell out lots of money on your next date.
]]>Pleasure means more than just orgasms, of course. But while deepening your intimacy with a partner can be a priority for any day of the week, Valentine’s Day does offer the chance to talk about pleasure and sex in an open, honest way—something that, unfortunately, isn’t the case (yet) for much of the year. For the coupled-up among us, February 14th could be seen as a whole holiday dedicated to celebrating and strengthening your connection with another person. Sure, for some people, that might look like a swanky prix fixe dinner and an elaborate flower display. For others, building intimacy can be as low-key as trying out a new recipe to cook together, or playing a game that helps you better know your partner. (For a fun and free experience, check out Gottman Institute’s Relationship Quiz to test your knowledge of each other.)

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]]>Marie Claire: Can you describe how non-monogamous relationships generally work?
Rachel Krantz: You have a wide spectrum: At one end, you might have a couple that only occasionally engages in threesomes together, or people who are swingers who only do things together as a couple. Then you have people who might be in what’s called a primary-secondary model of non-monogamy, which is kind of like an open marriage, an open relationship, where there’s one primary relationship, the person you likely spend the bulk of your time with, the person you might cohabitate with or have children with. They might have certain privileges that the secondary partners would not have. You also have nonhierarchical polyamory, sometimes called “relationship anarchy,” and that’s the idea that we should avoid these kind of hierarchies and power structures, and that each relationship is unique and different and you need to communicate your boundaries and needs and navigate that with each individual, but there shouldn’t be these rules you’re imposing on other people. And of course there are all kinds of things in between.
MC: For the book, you did a lot of reporting to give broader context beyond your personal experience. Were you surprised by what you learned?
RK: One thing that surprised me was just how little money there is for sex research, how little we know about what is happening in the brain when it comes to desire, monogamy, non-monogamy. A lot of the sex researchers I talked to who might have done some of the only studies on non-monogamy said it’s really hard to get funding for neurological research in the first place because it’s expensive, but with non-monogamy, often for things like government grants you have to make an argument for why this is a benefit to society, and it’s still so taboo that people are not open to the idea that this is worthwhile to study. There was only one study that looked at the brains of people who identified as non-monogamous and it was all men, and most of them were actually cheating.
I was also surprised by how much of sex research that does exist revolves around measuring physical responses to watching pornography and how lots of conclusions about the “innate” states of desire are drawn from that very specific kind of context, which is not actually sex.
MC: On your second date with the academic—the man you call "Adam" in the book—you had mixed feelings when he mentioned non-monogamy. You were worried about it, but also intrigued because you had always valued your freedom and independence…
RK: I felt an immediate physiological response of ahh, scary! I worried that I’d feel jealous, and we hadn’t even kissed yet, it was only our second date. But at the same time, I felt a sort of sense of recognition and exciting possibility. I very much had felt the pressure to find “the one,” like I had been socialized to think I had to do, but I also had little actual genuine desire to stop falling in love with people. Adam said it could just be non-monogamous on my side until I said it was okay otherwise. Then I was like Okay, here’s this person who’s older who has experience and here’s my chance. It was a very intense courtship and falling in love, and I moved in with him within weeks. I’d never been in something so intense.
MC: What was it about him that drew you to him so intensely?
RK: He was the first really dominant man I’d ever dated, and he was also older than anyone I’d dated. My prior boyfriend didn’t have curtains; I was so impressed by [Adam's] basic adulthood—oh, his apartment isn’t disgusting, this is amazing! He was also incredibly charismatic and smart and just sort of a natural teacher because that’s what he did. I was turned on by that dynamic.
Also I never had someone make me feel like I was in a movie: He would dance with me every night and cook for me every night and say we were destined. He was very good at creating that narrative, and it felt like it for a while. It really felt like, I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve found my true love. And not just that, but he seems to adhere to all these things society has taught me a man should be—he’s incredibly virile and dominant and seems to know best, and I’m in this more submissive role, but it turns out I like that and I feel safe; I feel so taken care of. For a while, it felt like a coup almost. I thought Wow, I guess I’m gonna get to be one of these lucky people.
MC: But looming overhead was this uncertain idea of non-monogamy. Was it scary or exciting—or both—knowing that this relationship would eventually branch out into other experiences?
RK: It was both. I call it the grim relationship reaper. It was hovering in some corner of my mind all the time, and I would try to push it away because the idea made me nervous, but it also was part of what made me feel we might be compatible in the long term. The idea of exploring non-monogamy made long-term commitment seem possible for the first time because I wouldn’t have to give up that sense of an open-ended future for my romantic life. I had also absorbed this idea that true love requires transformation: I felt I would have to undergo this transformation of unlearning the entire paradigm of what I’ve been told love and commitment mean, and this would be a difficult adventure, but also I was intrigued by that because I’m sort of an emotional explorer and immersion journalist. I was like, I know this is going to be interesting.
MC: A turning point came when Adam took you to your first sex party, where people were freely having sex, and you began to feel liberated in new ways…
RK: That was my first real experience with casual sex; maybe I’d hooked up once before, but it was never that anonymous or casual where I barely knew the person’s name. All of a sudden, here I was with three guys at once doting on me. I was like, This is amazing. This feels better than drugs. It’s just this sensory overload and I could almost escape my own mind. It was also exhilarating because I’d been taught, like so many women, to walk that delicate line between madonna and whore: Don’t be frigid, but don’t be too loose because you’re gonna be devalued.
Before that point, I was counting how many people I had slept with and trying to keep tabs on that number to make sure it didn’t get out of control, and here was this entirely new paradigm, where me being as greedy or desirous as I wanted to be was not seen as something that was detracting from my potential lovability or sexual mystery. In fact, it was encouraged and something that Adam really got off on. And so that was exciting because I was like, Oh if I don’t have to worry about being a slut, I can actually just explore my desires. It was amazing to realize how much I had been stopping myself from fully doing what I wanted.
At the same time, there was this contradiction. I was feeling increasingly liberated, but it was very much based on the feedback I was getting from the male gaze and what Adam wanted. So it wasn’t like I was going against his preferences; I was in the liberation adhering to his preferences. So that contradiction is really I think one of the main tensions in the book.
MC: Throughout the book you question, Is this really liberation? It’s complicated. You describe all the thorny issues, like the jealousy as you both embark on other relationships. Adam seemed jealous when you had a real connection with a poetry teacher called Liam. And you were tortured by thoughts of Adam spending the day snuggling with someone else, cooking for someone else.
RK: It was confusing because in that situation with Liam, [Adam] was obviously jealous, but he would never admit to being jealous; he viewed it as an unnecessary, weak emotion to overcome. So we were in this framework of like, If you’re struggling with jealousy, you’re being unloving and un-evolved. It was not something he wanted to admit to and he would try to control. I think throughout our relationship, he was much more successful than me at controlling, but sometimes not—like when he was consistently undermining or bad-talking anyone else I was interested in so that I would not view them as positively.
For me, jealousy was the main demon I battled. It was an extreme physiological response of fight-or-flight, especially in the beginning. I felt very frustrated because my feelings and body were just not cooperating with what my mind wanted. It was this very humbling experience of being unable to control my emotional response and trying continually to tamp it down.
MC: As you got deeper into this relationship and things got more murky and complicated, you began keeping a detailed journal and doing research to try to sort through your emotions.
RK: I employed research and reporting to try to get a handle on it. I was keeping a journal and began forming this idea that maybe I could imagine this being a book one day. Even though I knew I was in no way ready to write it, it became a coping mechanism to imagine it because I was like Okay, I’m gonna look at this as if I’m an immersion journalist and I can step outside of these very intense feelings and observe them with a reporter’s mind. That was quite helpful in allowing me to push myself to adapt to things that were deeply uncomfortable.
I would add that while the reaction to the book so far has been very positive and I feel so grateful, one of the only critiques I’ve encountered from people who haven’t talked to me is the question: "Is it sincere? Because she was thinking of doing a book and she’s recording all this stuff throughout this whole time." I totally understand that response and expected it. There’s a really excellent essay called “Exposure” by Olivia Sudjic in which she writes about how we put women, especially women who write personally, in this impossible position: Either you’re a narcissist doing it for the material and you’re insincere, or you’re not admitting to doing that and you’re a liar and you can’t be trusted; you’re an unreliable witness to your own life.
Also, as I started to feel I was being increasingly gaslighted by Adam, I felt I was losing a sense of trust in my own judgment, with memory and reality. He kept saying, “You’re remembering things wrong,” or, “You’re misinterpreting what I said.” My reporter instinct kicked in. I gathered all this evidence, like a ridiculous amount. Every couple’s therapy session, every personal therapy session, it was just compulsive. That same evidence is going to be used by some people to discredit my sincerity or my experience, my authenticity. Either way, we put women in this position of: You’re not to be believed about your own experience; you either have too much evidence or not enough.
MC: You describe your sexual relationships with other men and women throughout the book in honest, raw detail. How does it feel to open your deeply personal diary to the world for everyone to see, including your parents? Terrifying? Freeing? Both?
RK: It’s definitely both. I’ve been putting off to the last moment how exactly I want to handle it with my parents. I’m incredibly lucky that they’re very supportive, but sometimes they have trouble with boundaries and they will totally want to read the whole book. So it is worth it to ask them to skip chapters or sections with graphic sex scenes when the chapter headings themselves are so embarrassing? (“When in Roman Orgy...,” “Yes, Daddy.”) That’s been awkward and tough a little bit, but I also feel so lucky to be an example of how you can be out about this stuff and your family might not disown you. We’re taught to think this is all such a shameful part of us that we need to hide.
You have to choose: Either you’re going to be a respectable woman journalist who doesn’t talk too much about this—at least not in explicit detail—or you’re going to be someone who writes confessionally, but we’re not going to really see you as respectable; you’re kind of salacious. A big part of the statement I’m trying to make in this book is that I’m both things: I am a sexual being, an adult human female animal, and I am a journalist who has done years of research and reporting and I’m demanding that you take this topic and me seriously. But also, I hope you get turned on in certain moments reading this book. I just feel so lucky that I am in a privileged enough position that I can try to see if you can have both.
MC: I’m not going to give away the end of the book—the story takes some surprisingly dark turns—but what do you hope people take away from all of this?
RK: So many things. First of all, I hope to foster more love and openness and less shame, and also a greater empathy for people who are living different lifestyles. And maybe if people see themselves in these stories, they’ll have a greater compassion for themselves and also maybe for the people who hurt them. I hope it opens up conversations in relationships of potentially more expansive possibilities, because I think there’s a lot in between total monogamy and total relationship anarchy that might benefit a lot of couples. A lot of people are feeling like something’s wrong with them or their relationships because they have these desires. But maybe there are some options that would actually be quite fun that wouldn’t challenge jealousy that much. You see in the book a lot of different options, a lot of different outcomes, the pitfalls and the pros and cons.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Abigail Pesta is a journalist who has lived and worked around the world and the author of The Girls: An All-American Town, a Predatory Doctor, and the Untold Story of the Gymnasts Who Brought Him Down.
]]>“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” I cried. “I hate it. I don’t want you to have to nurse my broken heart over another—”
“Psh,” he cut me off. “You don’t buy the Mercedes thinking it will be cheap to maintain,” he said. “I always knew exactly what I was getting into.”
“I just want to be a good wife.”
Dave laughed. “Please stop. I don’t love you in spite of who you are. I love you because of who you are.”
It wasn’t the first time Dave had given me this speech. He has comforted me through a fair number of breakups with other men throughout our marriage. Each time, I tried my best to hide my hurt from Dave. I didn’t want to burden him. But some emotions are too powerful to hide from your spouse of 17 years.
Dave and I stumbled into our open relationship. We were in our late 20s when we had a drunken one-night stand with a much more seasoned couple. We knew they were openly “swingers” (their preferred term at the time), but we had planned on an exploratory conversation and maybe some light smooching. Whiskey changed our plans.
Leaving their hotel after having experienced “a full swap” (changing partners for intercourse), Dave and I high-fived and screamed with glee, our voices echoing across the abandoned late-night Michigan Avenue. Breaking the norms of our stifling Protestant upbringings felt exhilarating. Our marriage had never entertained much jealousy, and once we crossed this line we easily gave each other free rein. Suddenly, I had permission to be boy-crazy again, a trait I’ve identified with for as long as I can remember.
I wanted every moment to feel like the climax of a romantic comedy. I loved the escalating dopamine, the swooning, the anticipation. Close relationships with other (mostly) men and (occasionally) women provided me with an escape from real-life drudgery in a way my marriage never could, because my marriage was tied up in shared stresses like finances and sick dogs and exploding kitchen pipes. My side relationships, on the other hand, had all the passion and vibrancy of a Cardi B collaboration video, even if they consisted mostly of getting high and watching old movies.
But more than a decade of extramarital relationships later, COVID hit, squashing any potential for new partners. In April 0f 2020, right around the start of the pandemic, Dave and I sold our home in Chicago to live in eight small towns across the U.S., staying in Airbnbs for two or three months at a time. COVID brought me (along with existential dread) a significant dearth of cute guys. Before leaving Chicago, I had been dating a younger man, but I moved and we broke up. Dating new people outside Chicago felt scary: Our new locations were too small and stigma from nosey neighbors was too much of a risk. Plus, with risk of illness or death from the virus, I remained unwilling to enter a grocery store, and much less willing to let someone enter, well, me. Dating no longer felt like an option.
I found myself curiously relieved by my newfound monogamy. In part, it provided a reprieve from the steady stream of guilt my external relationships created in the past.
A few years after Dave and I began seeing other people, Dave’s interest in dating waned. He didn’t mind that I continued to date, but had grown bored with it himself. “It’s not worth the work,” he would say. Dave craved simplicity, precision. Perfectly folded T-shirts and relationships with clean lines. While Dave continued to enjoy the existence of his permanent hall pass, and flirted regularly, he dated rarely.
I had always hesitated to tell anyone about our open relationship. While some close friends were understanding and open-minded, others might be uncomfortable. Then, when Dave stopped dating others, I grew more ashamed. More so than how others viewed me, I feared how it made Dave look, letting his wife cavort around town. He deserved better. He deserved a good wife, a wife who didn’t need boyfriends. My insecurity grew more and more intense.
“I don’t care what other people think,” Dave would remind me when I brought up these concerns. I would be temporarily pacified by his comfortable confidence until I experienced the next heartbreak, brought on by an out-of-work bartender with killer abs, and would turn to my husband for support. He didn’t like to see me hurt, and he understood that these relationships were valuable to me. While he comforted me, affectionately likening me to luxury automobiles, it soothed my guilt—for a bit. I couldn’t quit dating others. The highs were worth the lows. I loved the attention.
I had told Dave repeatedly that I would stop dating other guys if he ever wanted me to. Our security as a couple was paramount. That didn’t mean that I wasn’t deeply afraid to lose my open relationship. Would I resent Dave? Would I be bored or depressed? Was non-monogamy a vice I would replace with something else? Would we both be...happy?
COVID didn't leave us with a choice. But to my surprise, I didn’t miss dating at all. Dave and I didn’t spend one night apart for an entire year. Certainly we had days when we had to shut ourselves in separate rooms lest there be blood, but who didn’t? Dave and I were lonely at times, but I didn’t crave extra romance. We enjoyed our simple, quiet, streamlined life.
Our open relationship soon felt like a thing of the past. The lack of opportunity to date others also removed opportunities for me to shame myself, providing a clearer head with which to examine our marriage. The pandemic let me feel mentally safer unearthing all my prior messy relationships and emotions.
I tentatively researched open and “alternative” relationships. I followed the Polyamory tag on Medium and Instagram. I read (free excerpts from) The Ethical Slut. I admired Frida Kahlo and her circle of lovers. I investigated the exploits of my ancestors in the court of Louis XIV, and learned that women in my family have been addicted to boytoys since the 17th century. In 2021, polyamory is all over the media. Though the Gen Z guy I dated just before COVID acknowledged that “nearly half” of his friends were in open relationships, I hadn't yet realized that the stigma toward polyamory, particularly in cis-hetero relationships, was lifting until I researched it for myself. (Some would argue that polyamory has long been considered more acceptable in various queer circles.)
In polyamory culture, folks talk about “new relationship energy” (NRE), which is that delicious neurotransmitter cocktail I mentioned before—the “climax of a romantic comedy” vibe. When breakups happen in this state, and NRE is taken away, it hurts. This is just one lesson that I learned during my research, and this understanding alone dramatically helped me with past guilt. Hearing and reading more about the experiences of other folks who are polyamorous encouraged me. The heartbreak I experienced during breakups with other men was normal, to be expected in non-monogamy, and certainly didn’t mean I was a bad wife. Finding others who had relationship experiences like ours was incredibly empowering. There are so many poly women who confidently own the traits I hated myself for. Knowing that others are out there, telling their stories, helped me transcend self-stigma. Talking to my therapist remotely also helped me come to that conclusion.
I began to accept that everyone has complex needs. Maybe it’s fine that I had needed more than one lover. Maybe it's also fine that I might not need one anymore, or that I change my mind about it later, and that I don't hate myself for it it either way.
For more than a decade, I had held myself, and Dave, to the same patriarchal norms I feared society, family, and friends were holding us to. Dave and I were always happy together. Instead of beating myself up for so many years, I wish I had been as progressive and accepting of myself as I was of others who chose non-normative relationships. I wish I hadn’t been so afraid to “be polyamorous” that I avoided learning anything about it. And I wish, most of all, that instead of wondering Why am I like this? I had instead thought Who cares, who’s next? It took a real break from my relationships to step back, and listen to and accept my needs.
Recently, I asked Dave how he felt the pandemic had changed our relationship with regards to monogamy, and he shrugged. “I barely noticed,” he said. Of course. Dave never had an issue with my dating others; I was the one who beat myself up over it.
I finally did the most feminist, non-patriarchal thing I could, and listened to my husband. He was right. I am wonderful because of who I am, not in spite of it. I am the damn Mercedes.


Some of these tracks will inspire you to grab your partner of choice for some sexy time, while others will motivate you to make the most of your next solo sex sesh. Whether focused on getting it on with another human, getting to know yourself in the biblical sense, or just sexiness as a general concept, these songs are sure to get the blood flowing below the belt.
You can also listen to the entire playlist on Spotify, or with the embedded playlist below.
When I filed for the dissolution of my 18-year union in February 2020, I had no clue how the coming pandemic would not only wreak havoc on the divorce process itself (shuttered courts, virtual legal meetings) but also incubate new post-split issues. (Hello, safety concerns around my ex’s relationship with our suddenly separated neighbor—who has three little kids and a doctor husband.)
Like the disease itself, divorce in the time of COVID came in waves. “In the very beginning, I had clients flocking to me, screaming, ‘Get me outta here!’ ” says Jacqueline Newman, managing partner at the matrimonial law firm Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP in New York City and author of The New Rules of Divorce: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness. “People in marriages that weren’t great to begin with, things were falling apart at the seams. The courts were shutting down and it was like the Wild West; there was no precedent and no protocol.” Her advice: Of course you’re freaking out. This is insanely stressful. Just breathe. Wait. And wait they did. “It was crickets—a significant drop [in new divorce filings] at the beginning of the pandemic,” says attorney Michael Aurit, a divorce and family mediator and cofounder of the Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation in Scottsdale, Arizona. “But now it’s by far the strongest and most sustained surge since the pandemic began.”
The main driver of the swell, COVID burnout aside, Aurit says, is that some of the unhappily marrieds are perhaps starting to feel a bit more settled financially than they were last March, when the stock market plummeted and many people didn’t even know if they had a job anymore. “Divorce rates go up when people feel financially stable,” he says. “When the economy is bad, divorce goes down because it’s less feasible to separate into two homes.”
Untangling the money has always been one of the most important—and difficult and contentious—issues in a divorce. The pandemic has turned that exercise into a mind-bending knot. Finances “impact people’s decisions in divorce dramatically,” says Elizabeth Green Lindsey, an attorney at Davis, Matthews & Quigley, P.C., in Atlanta and the president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “What is going on with our jobs? Are we incurring debt to keep things together? Using home equity to pay the mortgage? Some businesses are thriving; [some are not]. There are a lot of new valuation issues.”
One solution, Newman says, has been to draw up two divorce agreements: “This is how it’s going to be now, and this is how it’s going to be once the world returns to normal.” That way, currently sidelined expenses (like vacations or entertainment) can be accounted for in future support payments, and undervalued assets such as depressed urban real estate can be sold when the market rebounds. “The negotiations are so different,” she says. “We are living in and accounting for two different worlds.”
Some schools have strict safety protocols, and one of the parents would refuse to cooperate, saying, ‘I want to have my love life. I want to travel to the Hamptons.’ It’s so messy.
Divorcing in today’s world is causing problems that go way beyond the balance sheet. “I’ve been doing this a long time, and over the last 10 months I’ve been seeing such a heightened sense of anxiety and conflict,” Aurit says. “There is so much unknown about what the other parent’s behavior is when the kids are with them. The unknown creates fear.”
Mask versus no mask. Social bubbles versus total isolation. Everyone has a personal-safety-protocol preference. Throw in an ex—whom you might not be feeling terribly trusting toward—caring for your kiddos half the time and it’s bound to incite Marriage Story–level battles. “You can have one parent who is very sensitive—they never leave the home and bleach all the packages—while the other partner is more laissez-faire,” says Anne Robinson Lucas, a divorce coach and mediator and the cofounder of the Seattle Collaborative Law Training Group. For instance, one of her “sensitive” clients lives with her immune-compromised parents. Her ex moved out of state, and after he would visit the children, staying with them in an Airbnb or hotel, she would demand that the kids quarantine in the basement for two weeks. “It was constant conflict,” Robinson Lucas says. “There was no precedent or right way to do this. And it really brings out the cracks in coparenting.”
With courts unable to handle these pressing matters quickly, divorcing couples have been turning to mediators like Aurit for help in setting up clear rules around safety. “Some parents are creating lists of exactly which people they and their kids can have direct contact with,” he says. “These agreements may or may not be enforceable in court, but we find that when they have a conversation about it in mediation, it leads to more compliance.”
Of course, safety issues bleed into every aspect of life, especially when it comes to the kids. Newman’s high-net-worth clients, for instance, fight over whether to keep their children in pricey New York City private schools. “With the hybrid options, one parent would say, ‘No big deal, they need the socialization,’ while the other would say, ‘No way I’m paying $60,000 for my child to sit in my living room.’ Some schools have strict safety protocols in order to attend, and one of the parents would refuse to cooperate, saying, ‘I want to have my love life. I want to travel to the Hamptons.’ It’s so messy.”
Parents with kids in public school fare no better. “Schooling from home is a monumental shift in parenting,” Aurit says, often requiring that a typical custody schedule be completely reinvented. “Parents are working out temporary agreements. There is no precedent for that, and they are doing things that we would not have recommended in the past, such as having one weekday parent and one weekend. That’s not great long-term for a lot of reasons, but for many people now it’s the only way.”
What about exes who don’t want to leave their newly established happy lives far from the other parent?
Then there are the geographic moves the pandemic has inspired, with nervous parents—unshackled from their physical offices—seeking out places to hunker down. “I have so many situations where one parent has gone with the kids to a second home and one remains,” Newman says. “And then they argue, ‘No way I’m bringing my kid back to that COVID cesspool of a city.’ ” Newman’s office is flooded with relocation motions. Do parents who have moved to the suburbs but Zoom their kids into their pre-COVID school come back? What about exes who don’t want to leave their newly established happy lives far from the other parent? “All these relocation motions …” she says. “I see this as a huge post-COVID issue.”
While the coronavirus has complicated so many already complicated divorce details, some potentially long-lasting positive changes could come out of it.
“I think a very interesting trend we will be seeing is an increase in 50/50 custody,” Newman says. “We’ve been moving that way as a country, but COVID is really speeding that up.” In the past, the argument in favor of primary custody was that one parent was more involved in the children’s daily routines while the other worked outside the home. With remote school and work, both parents might be cutting the crust off the PB&Js and want to continue that. “That is a major shift,” she says. “Routines have changed, and people don’t need to travel so much for work anymore.”
Virtual court appearances have been a truly radical innovation. And while there have been some tricky adjustments—the biggest, say lawyers, is the inability to settle cases in the courthouse hallway, as was the norm—there have been beneficial trade-offs. Exes living far apart don’t have to rearrange their lives to hop on flights for court appearances. Clients don’t have to shell out thousands of dollars for their lawyer’s unproductive time spent traveling to, and sitting around in, courts. “What I would have needed three hours to do in court the other day I did in 24 minutes over Zoom,” Newman says. “The increased efficiency is enormous. We may not return to how things were done. Maybe [pretrial updates with a judge] will always be virtual going forward.”
Indeed, pre-COVID court systems were already overcrowded, judges backed up. When everything shut down last year, divorcing couples who still needed quick resolutions to legal issues found mediation as a solution. “People have been choosing mediation over going to court for a while now. Very few want to litigate—they don’t want to have the poor divorce their parents had—and that is increasing so much now with COVID,” Robinson Lucas says. Her collaborative law practice, in which splitting parties agree to resolve the terms of their divorce outside court, is overwhelmed with cases right now.
My own COVID divorce was finalized with a judge over Zoom in October (on the very day, in fact, that Donald Trump announced he had contracted the disease) and made fully legal in January. It’s been, to put it mildly, a hell of a year. Undoing the vows we made in person—while looking into each other’s eyes and holding each other’s hands nearly two decades ago—virtually, on a computer, for God’s sake, was pretty surreal. But also kind of awesome.
I sat in a cozy chair next to my best friend at her house, sipping tea and chatting while waiting for the judge to appear on my screen. It took her all of five minutes to pronounce us divorced, and I didn’t even have to look at the box holding the face of my ex, a person I no longer recognized.
And, just like that, it was over. I clicked “leave meeting” and closed my laptop. Hugged my friend and smiled. Freedom.
This story appears in the April 2021 issue of Marie Claire.


Note: Some of these activities will not be safe or appropriate in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, but many can be done virtually. Look online to see if there is a virtual version, and if not, bookmark it for a post-pandemic date.
If you live in the suburbs, grab some marshmallows, chocolates, and s'mores, then spend the night cuddling up by the fire. Bonus points if you can make one on the beach.
Instead of buying crappy chocolates from the drugstore, sign up for a masterclass in chocolate-making. Spend the night learning directly from the pros of NYC's Roni-Sue’s in a virtual class and eat 12 delicious truffles in bed.

Proceeds from the class will support the Waterkeeper Alliance, which "aims to preserve and protect water by connecting local Waterkeeper organizations worldwide and promoting outspoken, citizen-led advocacy. "
A hilarious way to bond with your S.O. or friend is to take a virtual paint-and-sip class together, which involves–you guessed it–painting a masterpiece (or something) while sipping on wine or a cocktail. Plus, you'll have a memento you can cherish forever.
Not at the club—we mean real dancing. You can take a class, create an at-home salsa club, or do a virtual tutorial. For the former, we suggest something like the Valentine's Day Dirty Dancing Party in Chicago. They offer both virtual and IRL courses. For song inspiration, try Spotify + Tinder's Valentine's Day playlist, or pick from our list of the best love songs ever.
Stuck at home? Go head-to-head in Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury, a new Nintendo Switch game that you can play together—or if you're all about nostalgia, challenge your S.O. to a round of good ol' Mario Kart.
The convenient thing about ghosts is that they tend to hang around old cities everywhere. Bonus points if you find a spooky event that includes booze like Portland's Haunted Brewery Crawl, which comes with beer samples and a guided tour. (Two awesome reasons to sign up.)

There's a reason why couples are always hitting the rink in our favorite rom-coms—you're pretty much guaranteed to get close to each other. Once you've had your fill of the ice, you can enjoy some hard-earned drinks. (Hot toddies, anyone?)
Instead of sticking to just one spot, hop from place to place and order different kinds of wine and tapas along the way. It's waaay more interesting than a boring ol' sit-down dinner (and even your regular bar crawl). Of course, it doesn't hurt to stash one away for later too.
For the at-home version, simply order various kinds of wine for delivery, add a charcuterie board to the mix, and start sipping.

Think of this like a personalized scavenger hunt (without, you know, all the extra work hiding clues). You pick a couple places, your S.O. picks a couple places, and you surprise each other with the locations. You can relive important moments, recreate a favorite activity, or just chill out knowing you're making new memories.
Valentine's Day is all about the sweetness, so make it literal: Go to a boutique candy store and grab a bag of sweet treats. You can make this more fun by buying candy for each other, trying new flavors, and selecting a snack you can munch on together over the next few weeks. Alternative: Go get lavish ice cream sundaes at your favorite local place (especially if you can beat the lines by getting it to go).
Obviously, this depends on where you live, but plenty of cities offer trapeze classes for newbies. It's not super expensive, and you'll typically be part of a larger class, so you'll have plenty of time to hang out between all that trapeze-ing.

When museums stay open after hours, they tend to spice things up by throwing a party or holding a special event—especially on V-Day. A lot of museums are requiring visitors to reserve timed tickets, so be sure to book ahead if you plan on venturing outside!

Watching Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck fall in love in Roman Holiday is definitely more satisfying when accompanied by a big plate of homemade spaghetti and meatballs.
While it's no match for traveling IRL, tons of people from around the world are hosting virtual experiences that offer cooking classes and tours from faraway places. A Turkish breakfast class sounds extra yummy...
It's just as romantic as ice skating, but with a little more pizzazz. And since it's V-Day, your local rink will likely have a lovey-dovey theme. Look for one that's kind of retro and caters to an older crowd, like the Valentine's Day Late Skate in Oklahoma City.
What better day to lay around and watch your favorite soap than Valentine's Day (I can recommend literally any K-drama)? Order in and get comfortable because you'll be glued to your couch for hours.

Channel your inner Carrie and Big by visiting the local library and checking out the love letters and poems of the best writers. Open a bottle of wine (or, y'know, flask it up) and take turns reading each other your favorites.
There's a reason that Serendipity scene is so iconic. If your S.O. hates shopping, make it a silly activity where you compete to buy the funniest/most ridiculous item for each other. Or, buy something that's relevant to a spectacular date night (fondue pot!), then go enjoy the fruits of your labor: at home, away from the crowds.
For those of you who love long strolls in the park, this one is for you. And, if you're in a warmer climate, grab a blanket, some cheese, and have a picnic in the field.
While we can't necessarily head to the karaoke bar with just you and the boo with the pandemic and all, you can still sing your heart out at home. What better way to celebrate your chemistry than belting classic couples duets such as "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" and "I Got You Babe" together? Listen to the best love songs of all time here.
Spend the night escaping reality with a themed comedy show. Although comedy clubs are in dire straits due to ongoing pandemic (RIP Upright Citizens Brigade, a.k.a. where Amy Poehler got her start) there are plenty of virtual alternatives!

Spas often capitalize on Valentine's Day with specials for couples (and extended hours), so take advantage of the reduced fares to chill out with your S.O. Viva Day Spa in Austin, Texas offers everything from a couple's massage to a facial package and an all-day access package. Pure Spa in Pennsylvania offers a range of specials, from an affordable massage for pairs to a deluxe "total indulgence" rate.
By now, most people know about this activity and have done it with friends, but how about doing it as a couple? Escape rooms are now nation-wide and there are all kinds of variations—as in, you can find one that's silly and fun, vs. one that's intensely hard and stressful (or, you know, if you'd rather that kind of experience—go for it!).

To be fair, you might have to plan this during a time when the streets aren't quite so crowded (especially if you live in a city). And/or, find a scenic location nearby that's bike-friendly, so you can stop along the way to sit and chat. Bonus points if it's a new location!
Book a romantic hotel that's free from roommates, dirty dishes, and paper-thin walls. Many inns and hotels host their own Valentine's specials, from champagne service to three-course meals at the hotel restaurant. W Hotel locations in New York launched a program with a matchmaker in residence for Valentine's Day and offers bookings for their erotic Awaken Your Senses suite.
Whether it's a new restaurant that's too far away for the typical lazy weekend or an up-state venture to a state park or museum, take a Valentine's Day weekend excursion somewhere that will get you both exploring the unfamiliar. Book an Airbnb if you want to save on pricy hotel fees and enjoy the escape.

Whether you're close to the coolest parks in the U.S. or a little wooden roller coaster, riding the rides, munching on cotton candy, and people-watching can be tremendously fun. Just make sure it isn't, you know, pouring rain—or make sure the venue has indoor attractions if the weather sucks.
Since both of you are likely working during the day, leave work a bit early to watch the sunset—peak romance for those who love love. Head to the water or the mountains, which brings us to our next option.
The date doesn't have to end at sunset. Why not take a break from regular routine and spend the night with some nature? Cozy up in a tent with the essentials (read: snacks), or choose a place that does all the work for you like these spots here.
Break a sweat with a workout class courtesy of your favorite instructor. If you're in NYC, try The Class by Taryn Toomey. Consider it couple's therapy without the label.

There's nothing better than experiencing live music with one of your favorite people next to you from the comfort of your own home. Head to Bandsintown for the latest events and grab those last minute tickets for a night of letting loose in your living room.
When cooking isn't your strong suit (and restaurant reservations are booked to the max), sign up for a last minute, virtual cooking class where you can learn to make each other's favorite meals. Things always tend to heat up in the kitchen.
The only way to prove you two are meant to be together forever? See if it's written in the stars. Visit a psychic to have both of your tarot cards read. If you're not ready to make that commitment, learn about your auras to make sure you're both giving off good vibes.
For more stories like this, including celebrity news, beauty and fashion advice, savvy political commentary, and fascinating features, sign up for the Marie Claire newsletter.


If the weather sucks or the timing doesn't make sense, you can still channel that picnic vibe (without bugs!). Set up a blanket on the floor, carefully curate some fresh food you both love, open the windows to let some fresh air in, and sit facing each other while you munch. Bonus: Play (careful) fetch with a furry friend, if you have one. Extra bonus: Eco-friendly compostable supplies do exist.

Even if you're not a connoisseur, spicing up your everyday caffeine choice can be kind of a revelation. My husband and I were inspired to try french press after a visit to the UK, and I will never go back to the regular stuff. Plus a french press is super-cheap (especially when compared to an espresso machine, for example). If you like going outside for a particular brew, see how you can recreate it at home.

If I sound like your mom here, maybe that's 'cause your mom has some good ideas sometimes, okay?? Listen, I'm not suggesting you pull the plug on everything, just...take a break from the screens for a while. Then you might actually, you know, look at each other and find things to talk about. You can always set a time limit: Plenty of couples set up rules for phone-free dinners or one hour of no technology. You can potentially even pause your WiFi to make sure you stick to your promises.

Yes, virtual volunteering is a thing, or you can still help your local nonprofit from your living room. Write a letter to the troops or your local politician. Reach out to offer your services to a local school. Volunteer your skills online (I sometimes help people with their resumés as an editor). Or simply pick a cause and donate some money—there are so many good causes out there right now.

If you're anything like me, you like to pretend like your sitting in Tuscany, overlooking the rolling hills and emerald vineyards trying out the local wine. So, why not recreate a wine tasting in the comfort of your own home? No, it's not Italy, but that doesn't mean you can't grab a case of wine from your local wine store and imagine you're there. If you really want to get your sommelier on, you can even do some light research on tasting notes and wine pairings.
Cooking from home can be kind of a chore. Cooking from home if you hate it/if you're not good at it can be tough. So why not flip the script by doing a TikTok cooking challenge? You and your partner will do rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to choose the drinks, appetizer, main course, and dessert. Together, you'll make the winning recipes. And for those of you who are especially ambitious, you can record the whole process and post it with the hopes of going viral.

Exercising, and exercising together, is always fun. But spice it up with a switch to see how the other half lives. (Caveat: Please don't start picking up 40 pound weights with no prior experience/guidance.) My husband would never, but one of my life goals is to get him to try barre with me. It will be so entertaining to watch, and it's so much harder than he thinks it is.

Sorry to everyone who lives in the city, but for those of you suburban and rural folks, I highly recommend taking the short trip to your backyard or local dark sky park to get a glimpse of the stars. And because of stargazing apps available for download, you can even identify constellations like Orion or Ursa Major at your fingertips. This is perfect for all you astrology fiends looking for your sign in the night sky.

In a similar vein: Do something for your apartment, or craft the same thing for both your apartments. Make a planter filled with green things. Build a set of shelves. Hand-paint some mugs with pretty designs. There are even inexpensive paint-by-numbers paintings that'll occupy you for a while and serve as a wall hanging when you're done.

Maybe it's a trip you guys have always wanted to take. Maybe it's something you guys will do when you have the time, money, and availability. Maybe it's the thing to look forward to that'll finally get you out of the house. Either way, have something you can set your sights on now, and plan out where you're going to eat/shop/sleep.

The past year has been tough on us all, and there's no better time to get into the right headspace. All sorts of resources are out there for couple's meditation, but the goals are the same–to reduce stress and bring you closer together. Sounds like a win-win!

This is harder than it sounds: Get away from the hectic day-to-day and set some time to talk deeply about a subject you both care about. It could be something about your relationship—a first conversation about finances—or some shared goal you both have. Set some ground rules to keep the conversation civil and focused on feelings, and celebrate once it's over (with some food and drinks, preferably).

It may seem like a board game is usually for three or more people, there's plenty of two player ones to pass the time. I can easily recommend Uno and Monopoly, but if you want to dive deeper, I would steer toward the games that feature meaningful questions (think the 36 questions that lead to love).

I'm guilty of this one for sure: I end up defaulting to the same 3-4 restaurants I know make yummy food, and I never branch out. Are there new restaurants that just opened for you to try? Is there a type of food you don't normally go for but want to experiment with? (For me it's Thai food, for my husband it's pho.) Branch out, and see what happens—plus, you're supporting local businesses that need it.

Whether it's your first photo together or snaps from your travels, find a way to commemorate special moments together. From making a scrapbook to a gallery wall in your apartment, this is the perfect time to make those memories a permanent, tangible part of your lives. You can even get pretty, chic frames for not much money.

I know, I'm really leaning into old-fashioned today, but quiet time together might be exactly what you need. Cuddle up on the couch with a Kindle or an actual book (gasp), particularly one you've been meaning to read for a while. You can pause to share something fun or funny, or you can just quietly sit together, enjoying some downtime.
]]>The heart motifs on this cozy Farm Rio scarf are pure joy. The scarf can be worn year-round, but gifting this on Valentine's Day is particularly apt.
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If your valentine has a sweet tooth, surprise them with pretty cookies decorated in edible flowers from Alma Kitchen.
Remind her that she has you wrapped around her finger in the chicest way possible with this 14k gold and diamond pinky ring.
It's rumored that Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello wore these rechargable, waterproof bracelets while they were touring. Simply touch your bracelet for your partner's to light up and gently vibrate as a way of letting them know you're thinking of them.
La Maison du Chocolat is the cat's meow of luxe artisanal chocolate brands. If you date a chocolate lover, gift them the French brand's gesture box featuring a fresh assortment of milk and dark ganaches and pralines to win at Valentine's Day.
This beautiful candle set contains 12 Volupsa votives from the fan-favorite candle line's Japonica line. Your S.O. will be able to enjoy some now while putting aside a few for the next time you're reunited to set an ~intimate~ mood.
For the tech-y S.O., gift them a clip-on AirPods case that's cheekily designed to look like a retro landline phone. It's a thoughtful gift for the person who has thrown a fit or two about not knowing where the f*ck their AirPods are.
We could all use some peace and relaxation these days, which is why this rose geranium-scented bath bomb is a thoughtful gift idea for Valentine's Day this year.
In lieu of being able to hug in person, send them a microwavable heating pad wrapped in a soft, machine-washable fleece for all the cozy feels. Designed to help soothe tired and aching muscles, this multi-use heated pad will be the gift that keeps on giving.
If their work from home situation could use a design upgrade, here's a vase that makes for a truly special gift. This one-of-a-kind beauty was handcrafted in the Djurdjura region of Algeria using ancestral artisan techniques.
If they could use a happy distraction during these emotionally draining times, surprise them with a crafting subscription box. Founded by a mother of twins, Home Made Luxe includes all the supplies needed to create a fun and unexpected DIY art project each month. Subscription plans start at $26 a month, but Crate Joy offers a one-month plan as well.
If you're a quirky dynamic duo (not unlike these smiling llamas), these slippers will be all the more sentimental.
These lip-shaped candles will be an eclectic stand-in for not being able to kiss each other on Valentine's Day this year. These are cute for year-round decor too.
Etsy seller The Singing Koala offers a range of customizable long distance-themed jewelry, which includes this easily-layered bar necklace depicting two states with a heart in between. A rose gold and gold-plated option are available as well.
PERSONALIZATION OPTIONS
Beloved jewelry line Mejuri has a turnaround time of two to three days for personalized jewelry orders and ships to 32 countries. Here, a gold vermeil locket whose interior can be engraved with up to 14 characters for no extra cost.
Sending flowers is expensive, but you'll get your money's worth with this Instagram-worthy arrangement of dried flowers that can last for months if they're cared for properly.
If she's an athleisure enthusiast, you're in luck as Alo Yoga ships all over the world and offers free and easy returns. (Not that she'll want to return this, though.) Here, a new zip-up style from the brand in a smart neutral shade that pairs nicely with everything.
There's no such thing as too many coasters. This set from designer Christopher Kane's "More Joy" collection will express how much you're missing them.
This unisex hoodie from LA-based designer Johnny Schwartz's new eponymous line, YONY, is certain to be the coolest in their loungewear rotation. In small letters the text beneath YONY reads "Est. in 2020," which will serve as a reminder that you two are making it through these challenging times together.
When it comes to fancy-feeling slippers, UGG reigns supreme. Available in men's and women's sizes, this easy breezy gift is sure to be loved.
This mesh slip from Savage x Fenty will make your next reunion even more exciting.
If you're after a unique jewelry gift, behold this colorful cocktail ring from British jewelry brand Yaa Yaa London. Unsure of their ring size? Don't sweat it, this beauty is adjustable.
If a sleek watch is missing from his wardrobe, this leather number from Brooklyn-based Daem Watches will fill the void. This will also come in handy for counting down the minutes until you're reunited again.
Just because you're not going to be there for her to open it, doesn't mean she doesn't want jewelry! Heart jewelry happens to be very in at the moment, so gift her a versatile gold bracelet with a lil' diamond detail.
Oprah's Favorite Things 2020
If you're after a louder heart-shaped style, check out these fun Oprah-approved earrings. This gift also gives back as a portion of the proceeds from every piece in Simone I. Smith's collection goes directly to The American Cancer Society.
PERSONALIZED GIFT IDEA
In case you and your S.O. are new to adaptogens (non-toxic plants that support the body's ability to deal with stress), Respect des Fonds is the brand to gift during these chaotic times. It offers a range of high-grade adaptogens and is completely transparent about how all of their products are sourced. Also cool: Each jar can be customized with up to 30 characters for a personalized touch.
Jennifer Aniston and Kamala Harris have both been spotted wearing Wolford's popular soft-to-the-touch face coverings. Lace on one side and solid on the other, this mask will be a useful gift for these strange times.
A luxe memory foam pillow is a gift they won't see coming, but will appreciate every night for years to come. This option from Italian pillow brand Blu Sleep has ventilated holes in the foam, which makes it well-suited for sleepers who get hot easily.
This chocolate-themed eyeshadow palette is so good it's drool-worthy. If they're a makeup lover, they'll be able to mix and match these shades to create a range of looks.
For the S.O. with caviar taste, this Chanel Beauty set contains three matte lip colors and a makeup bag she's guaranteed to keep forever. How do you say "very sexy" in French?
If you haven't heard of Italist before, the online marketplace is well worth a long peruse. The platform describes itself as offering luxury designers (think: Fendi, Miu Miu, Balmain, and hundreds more) for the best price in the market. Here, a gorgeous handbag that can be worn as a top handle or on the shoulder.
Another chic gift certain to impress the chocolate lover you love is this set which contains 60 (yes, 60) beautifully-wrapped Haitian chocolates in a mix of milk and dark chocolate.
These unisex linen boxer shorts will be the sleekest pair in their pajama drawer.
54 Thrones' luxury body oil Minona (named for Benin Goddess and protectress of women) is a nourishing treat for the skin. If bae loves an at-home spa day, this silky smooth body oil is a failsafe choice. PS: The brand's body butters were included in Oprah's Favorite Things as well.
Hand poured in New York, this spicy citrus scent from Redoux NYC evokes the feeling of taking a long walk on a beautiful summer night. Hopefully bae saves a few burns for when you're reunited to be able to experience the best-selling scent for yourself.
Containing four of Yves Saint Laurent's most popular men's colognes in travel-friendly vials, this set will technically be a gift for you as well as them. Yes, they smell that dreamy.
This sleek leather card holder wallet is compact enough to fit into tiny crossbody bags, yet spacious enough to hold all of her cards.
I swear by Grown Alchemist's hard-working, unisex products and this set happens to contain two of my all-time favorites: the vanilla and orange hand cream and the vanilla and geranium day cream, plus a vanilla and watermelon lip balm. For $25, I'd argue this is the most affordable luxe beauty gift to be found on Amazon.
For a sentimental gift under $10, order this fill-in-the-blank book and make the answers as funny, mushy, or NSFW as you want.
Transform a photo of you two kissing into a minimalist piece of home decor. This Etsy vendor has a two-day turnaround time to create a downloadable work of art. It's a savvy idea for a last-minute gift—just note that you'll have to print and frame the piece on your own.
Small enough to be easily squeezed into her carry-on, this red hot travel-sized jewelry box is a smart choice for the gal who doesn't like to travel without a handful of outfit options. Bonus points if you order this with a cute piece of jewelry thrown inside...just saying.
There are coffee table books, and then there is this coffee table book. Showcasing beautiful portraits of dogs dressed as what the photographer imagines would be their human personality is a feel-good tome certain to make bae smile.
Make sending heartfelt texts exciting by gifting your loved one this quirky love messenger box. When you download the easy-to-use app that pairs with the box, you'll be able to send a message that'll cause the heart on the box to spin and illuminate on the screen.
This limited-edition release of Byredo's unnamed perfume comes with three sheets of neon letter stickers for you (or your S.O.!) to decide on the name. With notes of spicy ginger, icy gin, and pin, your loved one's to-be-named perfume sits as a gently woody scent that's apt for all genders.
With its ejectable battery and smartly-arranged storage compartments, Away's carry-ons are legendary. Here, the brand's best-selling Bigger Carry-On that'll make traveling to see each other post-pandemic that much easier.
This cute framed mirror will add a playful splash of decor to their home and remind them of you every time they look at it.
]]>But you don’t have to take it from me. Here, 15 couples divulge how 2020 has transformed their relationships—from the couple who willed one another to survive when both were infected with COVID-19 to the interracial couple whose participation in protest marches led to increasingly candid dialogues about racism to the queer couple who impulsively decided to quarantine together. Keep reading for their hard-fought lessons learned.
In the decade-plus that Mike and I have been together, we’ve definitely faced challenges: the stigma of being an interracial couple and medical challenges such as Mike being legally blind. But on Mother’s Day, the first time we ventured out during quarantine, I suffered cardiac arrest [while] behind the wheel, driving into a brick wall with Mike, his mom, and our 12-year-old daughter Jaylen in the car. Luckily, emergency responders were able to restart my heart. Mike completely took care of me while I recovered.
My family also navigated protests over racial injustice. Jaylen always cringed at the statues on Richmond’s Monument Avenue that she said, “glorified the confederacy.” She celebrated with us as the Robert E. Lee Monument, covered in Black Lives Matter graffiti, was removed. COVID has brought blessings: I’m less anal about which drawer Mike puts the forks in. We laugh together. We’re still here. We’re still in love. We’re okay. —Amber Artis and Mike Lee, ages 40 and 43, Richmond, Virginia
During our 11 years together, Jonathan and I have basically been attached at the hip. We’re each other’s best friend. For the first three months of the pandemic, he was home in San Francisco, and I was in Connecticut with my mother and sister caring for my father who was dying of lung cancer. Jonathan couldn’t visit because he was afraid of inadvertently bringing the virus with him. With the time difference, it was often midnight by the time Jonathan and I could talk. During our marriage, we’ve had so many fun adventures together. But spending all this time with my family made me think, There’s an aspect of unconditional love that comes from a child. Watching my father pass made me want to create life. We needed some joy to look forward to. I got home [at] the end of May. My due date is February 25, 2021. —Kelsey and Jonathan Kaplan, ages 32 and 47, San Francisco, California

Patrick and I moved in together in January, five months after we started dating. We spent most of our time doing renovations on the house I’d recently bought. Then COVID hit. We didn’t think it would be impactful, but I was furloughed from my job as a financial analyst. Patrick had recently gotten out of the Navy into the worst job market possible. Then Patrick didn’t feel well so we drove to a rapid testing site. He was positive for COVID. I was negative so we stayed on opposite ends of the house. This wasn’t terrible until Hurricane Sally hit in September. We didn’t even get a chance to put boards on the windows; there was massive damage. On October 4, we had a small legal wedding ceremony. I felt, If we have to go through another thing, we’re doing it married! —Lauryn Adams and Patrick Cook, ages 29 and 28, Gulf Breeze, Florida
We’ve been together nearly seven years. For the first month of COVID, we were afraid to leave the house. You read about people locked in together who discover they don’t like one another. In our case, we grew to love and appreciate each other more. There have been struggles. We own a business together selling health and beauty products that, pre-pandemic, we sold through Amazon. In March, they put a freeze on our products–eczema cream was not an essential item! We had to lay off our staff. It was rough, but instead of freaking out and blaming each other, we put together a website and started selling products ourselves. We weren’t always ideal as a couple–2.5 years ago we broke up for a little while—but having our world flipped upside down and facing financial ruin made us stronger, more collaborative, and healthier. —Becky Utecht and Shawn Cannon, ages 36 and 41, Glendale, Wisconsin
Around March 18, our 20th anniversary, we got sick. At the hospital, we were told to leave but come back if we really couldn’t breathe. I was ultimately briefly hospitalized twice and told I had a 50 percent chance of dying. [My husband] Brian nursed me while we stayed in a B&B to protect our family. One night I felt the virus trying to kill me. Brian threw me into a tub of ice water to lower my 103 temperature. He was sick too. We willed each other to survive! I lost three-fourths of my hair and wrote a book about the experience. We look forward to continuing life together in ill health and good health. —Christina and Brian Stanton, ages 51 and 54, New York, New York
For 15 years Christopher and I were platonic friends. I was in New York; he was in Colorado. In December 2019, it became a romantic relationship. In March, I packed two pairs of pants and three t-shirts for a weekend trip. Then we read that the number of people in New York with COVID-19 had jumped from 80 to 800 and decided I should delay my flight home and see what happened. We cohabit really well and now we’re looking to buy a house together. In August, when the COVID numbers were low, we flew to New York so I could pack up and ship my stuff to Denver. Once we got our Schnoodle, Archie, there was no going back! —Clara Fairbanks and Christopher Blakeman, ages 31 and 35, Denver, Colorado
I’m less anal about which drawer Mike puts the forks in. We laugh together. We’re still here. We’re still in love. We're okay.
Not only were my girlfriend and I both newly out when COVID hit, but Kristen also had to figure out how to be a “Bonus Mom” to my four kids—ages 10 to 18—when we all moved into a new house together. I’ve been a mom for a long time so I’m kinda burnt out, but Kristen is new [to motherhood] and engaged and doing all the projects with them. It’s been incredible to watch the five of them bonding.
What's been not so incredible: During a global pandemic your anxiety baseline is higher than ever before. I can get freaked out and have a hard time communicating. But we’re playing off each other’s strengths and learning to be vulnerable at the same time. COVID has prompted us to learn one another’s love language. She knows when I do the dishes that it's an act of love for her! —Elena Joy Thurston and Kristen Kile, ages 41 and 35, Phoenix, Arizona

In October 2019, with my full support, my husband of six years was knocking on the door of his lifelong dream: acquiring a commercial kitchen to pursue a catering business. He planned to open a restaurant in the summer. Come COVID, that door got smashed closed as orders for events and parties dried up. Then I had custody issues over my teens from my first marriage. And then my stepson moved in. In a crisis, I tend to take charge, and [my husband] Aftab shuts down. This has caused strains in our relationship but we’re putting one foot in front of the other. If these multiple stressors didn’t break us, I don’t think anything can! —Sarah Haider and Aftab Alam, ages 52 and 55, Houston, Texas
This year dragged my relationship. We met at the beginning of February and initially saw each other all the time. He helped me launch a website, told his parents and friends about me, and introduced me to his daughter. I kept asking, “Are you sure? That’s a big step.” We were talking about going on a vacation. Everything was good. Mid-March, COVID started shutting everything down. He’s in the music industry and his income—primarily from live events—completely dried up. I was still working so I tried to help by buying groceries. Then he got COVID. Then I got sick. Then he broke up with me. He said later what happened was that he couldn’t bear having someone see him struggling. COVID had stripped away his manhood. —T.L. and B.T, ages 30 and 34, Atlanta, Georgia
My husband and I just celebrated our 16th anniversary. Pre-pandemic, we were so busy it was like ships in the night. We share core values but didn’t have many common interests. I’ve always been a news junkie. Ryan would make fun: “Oh, you’ve got to have your daily fix.” When he was watching shows I didn’t care for I’d read a book or go on the computer. Since the pandemic, our nightly ritual is lighting a fire, getting some tea, and watching CNN: Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo, and Don Lemon. The kids know this is our designated time together. While watching we make jokes and talk to each other about what is happening in our city, in our country. This is the first time ever in our marriage that we sit together three hours straight. It happened organically. We both look forward to it and have developed a more emotional connection. It’s been awesome. —Kelley and Ryan Kitley, ages 42 and 48, Chicago, Illinois

A lot of things happened at once. Due to COVID, the 10th-anniversary vow renewal ceremony we’d planned in Jamaica became a staycation. And we’re homeschooling our 6- and 8-year-olds. I run my business from home but John’s firm did massive COVID-related layoffs. Now, we’re all here on top of one another. There have been a few moments of being at each other’s throats. And we’re an interracial couple so we are surrounded by a lot that is scary and frustrating. Participating in marches together has led to deepening discussions about racism. I’ve shown myself to John more. When I’m anxious now he can ride my waves and not get upset that I sound upset. Outside the shitstorm and worry, we have this little flower of love. —Danielle and John H., ages 39 and 43, Loxahatchee, Florida
Initially, I was not happy that Aryeh, my husband of 41 years, and I would be quarantined. I had just retired from my job and was looking forward to going to exercise class and getting on a plane to visit family. That Aryeh was excited at the idea of being alone together for an unspecified period of time made me upbeat as well. We give each other space to do our own things–Zoom exercise classes are fantastic! Together we do Zoom yoga, dance classes, weight lifting, clean out our closets, garden, and give each other post-gardening massages. We’ve started reading spiritual books together over meals which turns eating into a higher kind of experience. Isolating together has increased our mutual love and appreciation. It’s like we’re Adam and Eve alone together in our loving oasis. —Bracha and Aryeh Goetz, ages 64 and 68, Baltimore, Maryland
Bethany and I met last October on Hinge. It was the first queer relationship for both of us. We started seeing one another two or three times a week: meeting each other’s friends, taking our pups to dog parks… COVID hit at the time you really start to get to know someone. We decided to quarantine together, which meant jumping into the deep end.
We share deep values about inclusivity and the social protest movement. Going to a protest together felt so deep and led to conversations about white privilege and what it means to be a queer woman. In [previous] relationships, I had a tendency to be a runner. But when you’re stuck in a house together you can’t just leave and go to a bar. As we got to know each other better, I started feeling, This is my person. —Alexandria Sundstrom and Bethany Bullock, ages 30 and 31, Houston, Texas
Outside the shitstorm and worry, we have this little flower of love.
Weathering social isolation with a husband in cognitive decline presents specific challenges. And on the cusp of the pandemic, our beautiful house went into foreclosure. A benefit of COVID is we are still allowed to be here, though my husband can’t grasp the severity of the situation. Before the virus, I’d get out and see friends; Zooming isn’t the same. I can get very lonely, but in some ways, H. and I have grown closer. At 3:30 every afternoon, I blow the whistle and H., our lab, Stanley, and I jump in the pool and do laps. H. is a Holocaust survivor and voraciously researches and watches hundreds of obscure films on the Holocaust. Watching these movies together and seeing my husband’s face come alive leads to profound moments of connection. —S.E. and H.B., ages 65 and 75, Huntington, Long Island

We met in 2011 through our involvement in progressive politics. When COVID hit, and then the heartbreak of racial unrest happened, Adam and I thought, How can we take action? We masked up and organized a march for our 5-year-old son’s preschool. The family clusters marched six feet apart down a street that was closed to cars. Our son is very aware of what’s going on in the world. He carried a sign, Super Heroes for Justice, and chanted “No Justice, No Peace.” People were out walking or biking and cheering. The march felt joyous, especially as white parents who feel it’s important [for] our children to have empathy and understanding. This experience reinforced how much I love parenting with my husband. So much so that we’ve decided to have another child. With the world falling apart, our passion for one another has come into sharper focus. —Jaime-Alexis Fowler and Adam Borelli, ages 39 and 37, San Francisco, California

